Читать книгу What every girl should know - Jan van Elfen - Страница 7

You may feel confused by the different anatomical names and physiological terms that I use in this book. Perhaps you and your family have used other words. But try to get used to the new terms – and at the same time, do not be ashamed of the names you use at home.

Your moodiness recently, clumsiness and periods of listlessness are signs that you are growing up. You may be anxious about your first menstruation (period) that is still to come. You’re probably impatient for this big event to start.

Your first period is an event to look forward to, because it’s the most important early sign that you’re becoming a woman. After that you’ll experience this mixed blessing (because menstruation has both advantages and disadvantages) just about every month. The average time between two periods (the length of your cycle) is about 28 days. It is quite normal, however, for this to vary in length between 21 and 35 days.

Shortly before your menarche (first menstruation) or shortly afterwards, your body will start producing an ovum (egg cell) every month. This process is called ovulation (read more on page 35). Once you have started to ovulate, you can fall pregnant if you have sexual intercourse with a man at a certain time in your monthly cycle. In other words, you are capable of motherhood.

To avoid being caught off guard by your periods, you should calculate the length of your cycle. From the very beginning, you should remember to mark the first day of menstruation on a calendar. If you do this regularly, you should be able to calculate the length of your menstrual cycle (the average number of days between the start of your periods) after a while. You should then be able to calculate approximately when to expect your next period, so that you are prepared for it. Bear in mind, however, that your menstrual cycle may be erratic in the beginning.

Menstruation can make your life unpleasant or uncomfortable, as it does for many women. In addition, it can also be painful. The pain, which varies from mild to quite severe (dysmenorrhoea), is usually felt as cramps in the lower back or abdomen. The pain normally only lasts for the first few days of menstruation and is seldom bad enough to restrict your activities.

In the premenstrual phase (the few days preceding menstruation), you might also experience pain and feel uncomfortable and swollen in your lower body.

It’s impossible to predict exactly when the first menstruation will occur. But there are a few warning signs which could serve as clues: About three to four years before a girl’s first menstruation, her breasts will form little bumps. About a year later, these bumps will swell noticeably, and 12 to 18 months before the menarche, fine hairs will start to grow on the pubis (the bulge above the genitals), as well as on the genitals themselves. About six months before the first menstruation, fine hair will appear in the armpits.

It is understandable that you’ll feel moody when you start menstruating, because it’s a huge adjustment for your body. For the first time you have to accept the fact that you are a young woman and it may take a while for you to grow used to your new identity.

The knowledge that you are a woman in your own right will be reinforced by the way other people start to accept and treat you as a woman.

Yet there are girls who are unhappy about being female and who secretly wish they were boys. They should consider the positive aspects and advantages of being a woman. A baby girl gets a grip on life more quickly, is less prone to illness, and walks and talks sooner than most boys. Girls have this advantage for life. At school, girls usually read, spell and recite better than boys. Girls also develop physically earlier than boys.

Women are better able to withstand cold and are less prone to heart disease than men. On average, women also live longer than men. Although a man can father many children, each child must first develop in a woman’s body before birth. Only a woman’s body is designed for this wonderful role; only a woman can bring a child into the world and feed it at her breast. These factors play a decisive role in keeping the family together.

The time when women were subordinate to men is long past. In today’s world women are treated as equal to men in almost all areas. Women nowadays tend to be more aware of their inner strength and dignity and have learned to assert themselves. There is no longer, as there was in the past, a separate world for men and women, each with its own traditional opportunities and set pattern of behaviour. You now have greater freedom to become the type of person you choose to be. Women today must join in the important task of setting new patterns of behaviour for both sexes.

Women and men get along better – at home, work and socially – when they treat each other as individuals with equal rights and abilities. It is believed by some that women are more emotional than men and experience love more deeply. These days there are men and women who do not share this belief. When women and men act like equal partners it gives them a wider range of professions to choose from and therefore a better chance of realising their talents. Men can become nurses, beauticians, chefs, fashion designers and professional flower arrangers (if they have the ability) and receive acclaim when they do well in their chosen field. Women can become engineers, veterinary surgeons, pilots and astronauts, and some even go into boxing or wrestling.

Men shouldn’t try to boss women around. A man can work for a female boss without compromising his masculinity in any way. It is already common for married couples – either by choice or from necessity – to decide that the father should look after the home and children while the mother earns a living. Such options are now open to everyone.

Society no longer determines what role people should play. Very few working mothers can manage both the housework and children without the father’s help. When a man refuses to do so-called “women’s work”, this usually results in friction because the woman ends up being overworked, and the whole family suffers.

Although some men cannot resist acting in a chauvinistic manner at work and making unwelcome sexual advances to their female colleagues, a woman with a strong case can take such a man to court.

Your feminine nature enables you to do so much. You have every reason to be proud of being a woman. It is also very important to realise that a feminine figure alone doesn’t make a girl into a woman. True femininity isn’t learned, but is part of your being. It’s within you, it’s part of your heart and soul and is reflected in everything you do. In the meantime you must learn to adjust to the most important early sign of your womanhood, menstruation.

Get advice from your mother or doctor about any aspects of menstruation that you don’t understand, but don’t listen to old wives’ tales. It is not true that you will catch a cold or suffer some terrible fate if you bath, wash your hair or walk barefoot during your period. After all, menstruation is not a disease but a normal bodily function.

Although the length of the cycle, regularity, duration of menstruation and the amount of blood lost vary from one woman to the next, and even in the same woman, menstruation seldom causes so much discomfort that it completely disrupts your life. The flow of blood is initially fairly insignificant and brief, lasting from three to six days, and is normally so slight that it seldom causes weakness or anaemia. In a healthy girl it is replaced within a few days by the increased production of blood in the bone marrow. It might, however, help to take a vitamin or iron supplement during menstruation.

Tests conducted by sports physicians have shown that the performance of sportswomen (athletes, tennis players and even swimmers) is not affected by menstruation. Many world records have been set by women while they were menstruating. Stage actresses, film stars and photographic models cannot afford to let menstruation interrupt their work. The old-fashioned belief that a girl is “unclean” at that time of the month has long since been rejected (even though some cultures retain these beliefs and practices).

Dysmenorrhoea (painful menstruation) can usually be relieved with ordinary painkillers, such as those taken for headaches. The warmth of a hot-water bottle, placed on the abdomen, might also bring relief. It is better not to stay in bed because of dysmenorrhoea, or to use it as an excuse not to go to school or carry out some unpleasant task. You might develop the bad habit of being lazy during menstruation and it could affect you psychologically if you always act the martyr.

You do not, however, simply have to put up with acute dysmenorrhoea. If you really suffer during your period you should consult a doctor. There may be some cause that can be treated, or the doctor might prescribe stronger painkillers.

If you are one of those people who are scared of the doctor, get nervous in the waiting room and feel petrified on entering the consulting room, you must try to get over your fears. If you’re scared of an injection or embarrassed about a medical examination, remember that many girls feel just like you. Be brave. Doctors don’t inject their patients without good reason, and in these enlightened times there is no need for exaggerated shyness when your health is on the line.

A doctor is aware of a young patient’s fears and keeps them in mind. If you suffer from unmanageable ailments or problems and your mother cannot help, you should not hesitate to consult a doctor. Visit your doctor if your menstruation bothers you because it is very painful or lasts too long, especially if you really worry about it. You can also, of course, in many cases opt to see a female doctor. Doctors are not only there to cure illnesses, but also to give information about health matters. The doctor will listen sympathetically and examine you carefully, without making you remove clothing unnecessarily. You could take your mother along for support the first time. Later you should go on your own, so that you can explain the problem yourself and gradually build up a good relationship with the doctor of your choice. Once the ice has been broken you should make it a habit to visit her regularly, about once a year, whether there is something wrong with you or not.

You already know that you need not avoid soap and water when you menstruate. Another important aspect of personal hygiene you should keep in mind is that it’s not only your sexual glands that start working during puberty. Your other glands, especially your sweat glands, also start to work overtime. Stale sweat in the armpits and groin smells very unpleasant, so you should wash these areas regularly and thoroughly. Be sure to wash your armpits and genitals after exercise and on hot days, to ensure that you smell fresh.

After that you could use an underarm deodorant to help you stay fresh. Try to avoid the kind known as antiperspirants, unless you sweat a lot. The ingredients in an antiperspirant could cause an allergic reaction in someone with a sensitive skin. When you wash your genitals, use only soap and water. Do not use disinfectants or deodorants, as the strong chemicals in them could damage the sensitive mucous membrane that lines the vagina.

Protecting your clothes during menstruation has become easier due to the absorbent qualities of synthetic materials. No girl need fear that she will embarrass herself. There are different kinds of protection available to absorb the flow – worn externally or internally, and which are disposable.

The first kind is a sanitary towel worn between the legs. It has a strip of glue on the underside so that you can stick it to your panties. Sanitary towels are available in various sizes and thicknesses and are therefore equally suitable for young girls and mature women and during days with a heavy flow or when the flow has eased.

There are advantages and disadvantages to sanitary towels. The main advantages are that they are easy to replace and that two can be worn at once when the flow of blood is particularly heavy. A disadvantage is that the gauze layer, which feels soft against the skin when the towel is first put on, could chafe the groin when damp. If the towel is worn for too long because there is no chance to replace it, it could give off a slight smell.

The other kind of protection, a tampon, is worn internally (inside the vagina). One type of tampon comes enclosed in two thin cardboard tubes. A string is attached to the tampon and hangs out of the smaller tube. Both tubes are placed in the vagina, the tampon is pushed in with the smaller tube and the cardboard tubes are then removed. The string now hanging out of the vagina is used to pull out the tampon when it becomes saturated. The other type of tampon is not enclosed in cardboard tubes, but is inserted by hand into the vagina, with the string at the bottom.

There is no scientific opposition to the use of tampons by young girls, as long as they replace them regularly, insert them correctly and ensure that they fit properly. If a tampon is inserted correctly you will hardly be aware that you’re wearing one. Tampons have other advantages too: they are small enough to carry unobtrusively in a handbag during sporting or social events, they can be worn invisibly (a great advantage in activities such as swimming, athletics and dancing), and they are easier to wear than sanitary towels.

There are many girls, however, who do not manage to insert a tampon. The most common reason for this is that the opening in the hymen is too small (see page 38). Other possible reasons are fear or nervousness, incorrect technique or an infection at the mouth of the vagina.

If a girl wants to use tampons but finds she can’t because of the narrowness of the hymen opening, she could ask a doctor to stretch the opening. This is a simple procedure involving little or no discomfort.

If you are uncertain about how to insert a tampon, you should either read the instructions on the packet carefully or else ask your mother’s advice. You also need to know about the female anatomy.

Study your genitals using a small mirror and experiment with a lubricated index finger. Remember that the vagina runs diagonally towards your back. Crouching with your legs wide apart is the most comfortable position to be in when inserting a tampon.

If it hurts when you insert a tampon and the hymen is not to blame, you might have an infection of the internal or external sex organs. It’s not uncommon to have an inflammation of the labia majora or of the mucous membrane at the opening to the vagina. This can develop as easily and innocently as a boil or bout of tonsillitis.

Another type of infection that nearly every woman will experience at some stage of her life is vaginitis – inflammation of the vagina. The same germs that could, for example, cause a bladder or skin infection, also cause vaginitis, as could a fungus.

It usually develops quite innocently, but it could be an indication of poor personal hygiene or sexual contact with an infected person (see page 105). Signs which could indicate vaginitis are an itchiness of the genitals and an excessive white or yellow discharge from the vagina (leucorrhoea).

The vagina is of course always moist, but excessive moisture, especially if it occurs in conjunction with an irritation or leucorrhoea, should be regarded as a warning sign. Since vaginitis is often contracted for reasons unrelated to sexual activity and is easy to cure, it is foolish to keep quiet about it out of shyness. It is especially stupid to play doctor and try to heal yourself by applying home remedies. And to come back to the use of tampons – it is best to avoid wearing them until a vaginal irritation and/or infection has cleared up.