Читать книгу An Amish Courtship - Jan Drexler - Страница 12
ОглавлениеSamuel straightened and thumbed his hat back on his head. Chester had punched a hole in the side of the stall, all right. After pulling off the scrap wood Mary had used to patch the hole and tearing away the splintered remains of the broken plank, he could see the extent of the damage. Mary might have thought her patch was adequate, but this needed more than a temporary fix. The entire board should be replaced.
He climbed the ladder to the haymow, nearly empty after the long winter. Sadie had some hay left, but someone would have to fill the mow again before the summer was too far gone.
Someone? Samuel rubbed at his bare chin. That someone should be him. Other years, the deacons had made sure the mow was filled, but he could do it this year.
On the other side of the haymow a stack of planks rose from the dusty floor. They had been left from when the barn was built years ago. Grossdawdi had said something about building a chicken coop out of them someday, but Sadie had converted an empty stall for her few chickens, cutting a door through the outside wall for them to use, and the coop had never been built.
Samuel picked up the top plank and stood it upright, thumping it on the wooden haymow floor to shake the dust off. From here he could see Sadie’s little house through the loft door. The windows were open to the spring air, and voices drifted up to him. He could distinguish Mary’s low voice, bubbling with laughter. He couldn’t keep a smile away at that thought.
Judith’s voice rose above the others, cheerful and eager. If he had known a length of fabric would make her this happy, he would have taken the girls to town long ago. Why didn’t he? He thumped the board one last time. Because Daed wouldn’t have. He didn’t remember Daed ever taking Mamm to town. None of them went anywhere except for Daed. He kept everyone at home, where no one would see Mamm’s bruised face.
He gripped the board as if he could split it in two. He had been following Daed’s example like a wheelbarrow following the rut he had left behind. As if he had no power over his own actions. He hadn’t treated Judith and Esther any differently than Daed had, and there was no reason for it.
How had Bram gotten free of Daed’s shadow? Or had he? Did his pretty wife live in fear of Bram’s temper?
Samuel leaned his head against the board, closing his eyes against the ache in his head. No woman would ever live in fear of him. He couldn’t be sure of controlling his temper, but if he stayed single and kept to himself, he could avoid Daed’s legacy in at least one area of his life.
He lifted the board and took it to the main floor of the barn.
Replacing the plank didn’t take much time. He spent another hour giving Chester’s stall a thorough cleaning, leveling the dirt floor and scrubbing the walls. The chickens’ area, divided from the rest of the barn by a fence of wood slats and chicken wire, was already clean with fresh straw spread over the floor. Mary and Ida Mae were giving Sadie the help she had needed.
Movement in the vegetable garden caught his attention. Mary was there, picking lettuce. Samuel stood in the shadows just inside the door, watching the young woman in the garden. She bent, stooped and then straightened as she worked with a grace that drew him.
A few steps brought him close. Her back was turned to him as she leaned down to reach some lettuce that was tangled in the young bean plants.
“I’ve finished repairing the stall.”
Mary jumped, whirling to face him. Her face was pale, and her hand clutched at the front of her apron.
“Are you all right?” Samuel took a step closer to her, but stopped when she moved away. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Ne.” She shook her head. “I mean, I’m all right. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. You surprised me.”
Her hands trembled, and she clasped them together.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
She nodded and smiled, but the smile was stiff. “I’m picking some vegetables for dinner. Esther and Judith are having such fun with their new dresses. Aunt Sadie is teaching us all sorts of sewing tricks that I’ve never known before.”
She chattered on as she turned to the peas. Her voice became more natural, and her trembling hands stilled as she worked. When she got to the end of the row, he lifted the basket of vegetables and carried them to the back porch.
After dinner, he would work on the pasture fence. A few loose boards near the gate needed to be tightened, and a few more around the perimeter needed to be replaced. When he finished with that, they would return home...
“Do you think they would want to come?”
Mary’s question brought his attention back to her one-sided conversation. He was too used to ignoring his sisters’ chatter.
“Where?”
“To the quilting in Eden Township on Thursday.”
Samuel set the basket on the porch step. “Why would they want to go to another quilting?”
Mary’s hands became fists that perched at her waist. “You weren’t listening to me, were you?”
One look at her pursed lips, and he was done. Caught. He’d never be able to get anything by her.
“I missed the part about the quilting.” He stared at her brown eyes. A trick he had learned from Daed. Put up a bluster. Make them think you are right, no matter what happens.
She met his stare, her eyes narrowing. He shifted his gaze to the peas, lifting one as if to inspect it for brown spots.
“You missed everything.” She sighed and brushed some dirt off her apron. “On Thursday, the Eden Township group is meeting at your sister Annie’s house. Aunt Sadie is planning to go, and we wondered if Judith and Esther would like to come along.”
Annie. A pain he didn’t know he held washed through him at the thought of her curly red hair. She had left...how long ago? Almost two years? It had been soon after Daed passed away. He hadn’t spoken to her since, and he never even thought of taking the girls to visit her. Why had he ignored her after she left to marry the deacon’s son?
Because Daed would have been angry when she went behind his back, and he had followed in Daed’s footsteps without even thinking.
“Ja.” He made the decision quickly, before he could think of all the reasons not to go to Eden Township. All the reasons to avoid mending the family ties. “And I’ll drive you all in our buggy.”
“You don’t need to do that. We can take Chester.”
“I’m going to drive. I have something to do down there, too.”
Samuel lifted the basket and followed Mary into the kitchen. He needed to mend more than just the pasture fence. Daed had never apologized for anything he did, no matter how deep the wounds ran. But he wasn’t Daed, and he wasn’t going to act like him anymore.
He paused as Judith’s and Esther’s happy voices drifted into the kitchen from the back room. It was past time to apologize to Annie and her husband, and he had two days to prepare himself to face Bram.
* * *
“I can’t wait until Thursday,” Judith said.
The dress pieces had been cut out of the new fabric before dinner, and now, while Samuel mended the pasture fence and Aunt Sadie napped in her room, the girls sat together in the sewing room, each with pinned pieces to sew together.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen Annie?” Ida Mae asked.
“She left home two years ago.” Esther snipped the end of her thread as she finished the shoulder of her dress, then tied a new knot to begin sewing the side seam. “She had met Matthew Beachey when he came to one of our singings, and they courted secretly for months.”
“It wasn’t a secret to us,” Judith said.
Esther smiled, her sewing forgotten in her lap. “She was so happy with Matthew. When she came home from one of their buggy rides, we’d be waiting up for her. She’d tell us all about what they had done and where they had gone. Most often, he took her to his family’s house after dinner to play games with his brothers and sisters in the evening, or he’d take her for a ride around Emma Lake. It sounded so romantic.”
“Why was it such a secret?” Mary drew her thread through the seam. She had chosen the more difficult task of inserting the sleeves into the bodice of Judith’s dress.
“She was afraid that if Daed had known she was seeing someone, he would have put a stop to it, the way he had tried to do with Katie.” Esther’s voice dropped, remembering. “Katie ran away with her beau to get married in Ohio, but Annie didn’t want to run away. She didn’t want to be separated from us.”
Mary shifted in her chair. “But the bishop wouldn’t allow them to marry without your daed’s permission, would he?”
“I don’t know how Annie did it, but Bishop Yoder in Eden Township came here to talk to Daed, along with Matthew and Deacon Beachey. They wanted Daed to give his permission for the marriage.”
Judith looked up from her sewing. “Ach, remember how angry he was?”
“He was so angry that Matthew left without Annie.”
“I remember how she cried,” Judith said. “She was afraid she would have to run away like Katie did.”
“But Matthew came back when he heard Daed had died. It was after the funeral, but not too much time had passed.” Esther sighed. “Samuel acted just like Daed, until Annie told him she was going to marry Matthew with his permission or without it.”
“He stomped off to the barn then, didn’t he?”
“But he gave her his permission first.” Esther picked up her sewing again. “We haven’t seen Annie since that day. We didn’t go to the wedding, and we never go to visit the Eden Township folks.”
“But she lives so close,” Mary said. “I can understand that you wouldn’t see Katie, living in Ohio the way she does, but Annie is only a few miles down the road.”
“Even so,” Esther said, “we’ve never gone for a visit, and she hasn’t come here.” Esther stopped to thread her needle. “I hope we get to see Bram on Thursday. He’s our other brother, and also lives in Eden Township.”
“I do, too,” said Judith. “I was only five years old when he left home, and I hardly remember him.”
Mary sewed basting stitches in the right sleeve and then gathered them before she pinned the sleeve to the bodice. She had never met a family like the Lapps, where the scattered family members didn’t try to see one another, even when they lived in the same area. But if Samuel had been as angry as the girls said when Annie left...
Rethreading her needle, Mary tried to imagine Samuel being angry. She had seen him embarrassed, and a bit grumpy, but angry? She imagined his eyes darkening, his mouth twisting, his hand reaching toward her... Her vision suddenly blurred, swirling so that she couldn’t see the needle’s eye. She took a deep breath and started counting.
There was nothing to fear from Samuel. He was a neighbor. Judith and Esther’s brother. She would never be foolish enough to be alone with him in a secluded place. She would never let herself be at the mercy of any man again.
She started over. One, two, three, four... She fixed her eyes on the wooden planks of the floor in front of her toes. Ten, eleven, twelve... Her breathing slowed and she relaxed. Twenty-five, twenty-six...
Safe. She was safe in Aunt Sadie’s home. Safe with the girls and Ida Mae, without any men around to intrude.
Except Samuel, and he would soon learn that they didn’t need him to do Sadie’s chores any longer. Then she would only have to see him on church Sundays.
Esther’s voice penetrated the hum in Mary’s ears.
“What?”
“Did you enjoy church on Sunday?” Esther asked, looking at both Mary and Ida Mae.
“We did,” Mary said. She forced herself to smile. “There were a lot of new people to meet, but other than that it was very much like church at home.”
Judith giggled. “I saw someone taking notice of Ida Mae during dinner.”
Mary exchanged glances with her sister, but Ida Mae shrugged, her eyebrows lifted.
“What do you mean? I didn’t see anyone noticing me in particular.”
The girl grinned, looking at their faces. “I can’t be the only one who saw him. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
“Whoever it was,” Mary said, “he was probably only looking at us because we’re new.”
Judith shook her head. “He was only looking at Ida Mae. I don’t think he saw anyone else all day.”
Esther leaned forward. “You have to tell us who it was.”
Judith only grinned until Esther nudged her knee with her foot.
“It was Thomas Weaver.”
“The minister’s son?” Esther sat back in her chair. “Every girl around has been trying to catch his attention.”
Ida Mae turned to Mary. Her face was mottled pink. “I...I’m going to check on Sadie. I’ll be right back.”
After she left the room, Esther said, “I hope we didn’t say anything to upset her.”
“It isn’t anything to worry about. Ida Mae just isn’t interested in getting to know any boys right now.” She shifted the bodice in her lap and changed the subject. “There were so many other young people at church on Sunday. I’m looking forward to getting to know the girls. Do you attend the singings?”
“Samuel won’t take us, and he won’t let us drive ourselves. I think he’s afraid we’ll end up the same way as Annie and Katie.”
“But he lets you go to the quilting on Wednesdays.”
Judith nodded. “That’s because there aren’t any boys there.”
Esther stifled a giggle. “Can you imagine a boy at a quilting frolic?”
They all laughed at that.
Ida Mae came back into the room. “Sadie is sound asleep.”
“I’m so glad,” Mary said. “If she doesn’t take a rest she gets overtired in the evenings and forgets things too easily.”
“Everyone is glad you came to live with her,” said Esther. “She shouldn’t live alone anymore, not at her age. Too many things can happen.”
“Like when she didn’t come to church one Sunday last winter.” Judith’s face had grown pale. “The deacons went to check on her after the worship service was over. It turns out she had made a wrong turn on the way to meeting. They got here to her house just as she returned. She had gone all the way to Middlebury, but when she knew she had gone the wrong way, she let Chester bring her home.”
“It’s a good thing she has a smart horse,” Esther said.
Mary and Ida Mae looked at each other. Mary saw the same alarm she felt reflected in her sister’s eyes.
“That could have ended in disaster.”
“But it didn’t.” Esther tied a knot in her thread. “The Good Lord was watching out for her that day.”
What would they do if something like that happened again? Mary rubbed her tired fingers. She and Ida Mae would have to watch Aunt Sadie very closely.
* * *
Samuel was at work early on Thursday, preparing for the trip to Eden Township. Tilly stood with a hind leg cocked, head down, her side to the morning sun as Samuel brushed her. The new bristles lifted the dust off her coat with little puffs that glinted in the sunlight. The mare’s skin twitched in response. She was enjoying the pampering.
Samuel had curried and brushed her more in the last two days than he ever had before. He had even taken care of her hooves, trimming and polishing them until they shone. He stood back and inspected his brushing job. Her muscles could still use some filling out, but that would come with time. Meanwhile, her coat was beginning to take on the shine of a healthy animal. He didn’t need to be ashamed of her when he faced Bram.
He left Tilly still basking in the sun as he went into the barn and put the brush and currycomb on their shelf with care. One thing he remembered from Grossdawdi’s barn was how clean and orderly everything had been. Each step he took in that direction was progress.
The old buggy stood in the middle of the barn floor, still clean from yesterday’s washing. The wheels were worn, and should be replaced. The seats needed to be recovered, but the old blankets he had thrown over them would have to do for now. Even with as many years as the buggy had been around, though, the black lacquered oilcloth cover gleamed in the subdued light of the barn. Everything was ready for today’s trip.
Samuel took off his new hat and ran his fingers through his hair. Everything was ready except him. The thought of seeing Annie again filled his stomach with something like a bundle of puppies, but Bram...
He whooshed out a breath at the thought of his last encounter with Bram at the barn raising last summer. He had been stupid, making idle threats that didn’t mean anything, but Bram had responded like no Amishman ever did. He had drawn him close, like a brother would, but his grip had been hard on Samuel’s shoulder, and his words dripped of danger. Samuel swallowed at the memory. He had never encountered anything like the tone in Bram’s voice. The years his brother had spent working for gangsters in Chicago had hardened him.
Bram could be a dangerous man, but his life had changed since that hot day last summer. He had joined the church, married a pretty widow and was now a father to her three children. Was he any less threatening, though?
Samuel ran his hand through his hair again, making it stand up in spikes. He didn’t have long to wait to find out. He planned to take the girls and Sadie to Annie’s, where he would apologize to her and her husband. The puppies churned. That would be difficult enough. But then, once he learned where Bram lived, he would go to his farm and...what? Confront him? Try to make amends? Repair the broken places between them? It all depended on Bram’s reaction.
He took a cloth and wiped a few stray specks of dust from the buggy, then led Tilly into the barn to harness her. Every clomp of her hooves on the wooden floor was one step closer to facing Bram. He tied Tilly to a post and stroked her neck.
“Well, Tilly-girl, it’s going to be a day to remember.”
Taking the harness from the hooks on the wall, he swung it onto the mare’s back. She stepped away, but then stood quietly as he murmured to her. “So, Tilly, so. You know we’re going for a drive, don’t you?” Her ears swung back and then forward at the unfamiliar tone in his voice. He reached under her to grab a strap, and as he fastened the harness onto her, he kept talking. “We’re going down to Eden Township today.” He patted her rump as he walked around to her other side. “You’ll like the drive. New places to see.” Once the harness was on, he led her to the buggy and backed her into place between the shafts.
After she was hitched up, he led her out of the barn to the hitching rail next to the house. Esther was waiting for him on the steps, bouncing on her toes and grinning. He had to smile at her.
“You look like you’re ready to go.”
“For sure I am!” She ran down the walk toward the buggy. “I haven’t seen Annie since she got married.” She stopped when she reached him and looked into his face, suddenly sober. “You don’t think she has forgotten us, do you?”
The litter of puppies in Samuel’s stomach clambered over each other as Esther’s words sunk in. He had been so concerned with his own meeting with Annie that he hadn’t considered how Esther and Judith must be feeling. They were her sisters, separated from her through no fault of their own.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out garbled, strangled by his swelling throat. As Judith joined them, he put a hand on each of his sister’s shoulders and tried again. “I’m sorry that I haven’t taken you to see Annie before.”
Judith and Esther glanced at each other.
“We understand,” Esther said. “You were angry—”
Samuel cut off her excuses. “But I shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have acted like I did when she wanted to marry that young man.”
“Matthew.”
Samuel squeezed Judith’s shoulder in silent thanks for providing the name he couldn’t remember. The name he had blocked. “Matthew.” He nodded. “Matthew.” The serious young man who had claimed their Annie. The puppies wouldn’t settle down.
Judith shrugged his hand off her shoulder. “Can we go now? I can’t wait to get there.”
Samuel stroked Tilly’s nose as the girls climbed into the buggy, ignoring their surprise at the changes he had made. He didn’t have to go with them. He could send them over to Sadie’s to ride with her. He didn’t have to face Annie and Matthew. He could stay home. There was plenty of work to keep him busy.
He swallowed. He didn’t have to risk Bram’s rejection.
Tilly nibbled at his shoulder. It was the first sign of affection she had ever shown him. He patted her cheek and smoothed the hair under her bridle.
“Well, Tilly-girl, I guess it’s time to face the lions.”
He climbed into the buggy and lifted the reins. The girls chattered to each other in the back seat, talking about Annie and her baby. He rubbed at his freshly shaved chin as they talked. He hadn’t thought that Annie would have a child. His nephew, from what the girls were saying.
Turning Tilly onto the road, he urged her into the quick trot she liked as they headed toward Sadie’s house. As they turned in, he saw Sadie and Ida Mae waiting for them at the edge of the drive. The churning in his stomach eased as Mary stepped out of the house and joined them just as he drew the buggy up. She gave him one of her quiet smiles as Ida Mae climbed into the back of the buggy. He stepped out to help Sadie into the front seat.
“Good morning, Samuel.” She clung to his hand as she put one foot on the buggy step. “It’s a fine day for a drive.”
“Ja, for sure.”
He waited for her to move to the center of the seat so that Mary would be able to sit next to her, but Sadie waved him away.
“I’d like to sit here, if you don’t mind. Mary can sit in the center, between us.”
Mary shot a look toward her aunt, then walked around the back of the buggy with Samuel.
“You know why Sadie wants me to sit in the middle, don’t you?” Mary whispered the words.
“Why?”
Mary stopped, out of sight of the others. “I think she’s trying to push us together.”
Samuel stared. Her cheeks were pink, and one wisp of hair curled around the edge of her bonnet, sending his thoughts down a path that led to tucking that wisp behind her ear. He gripped his suspenders to keep his hands still. “You mean like a matchmaker?”
“Shh.” Mary turned away from the buggy. “Don’t let her hear you.” She twisted her fingers together. “If she sees that she isn’t successful, then she’ll give up. We just have to ignore her attempts to match us up.”
“That sounds good to me.”
Mary continued around the buggy to climb into the front seat and Samuel followed her. His plans didn’t include a wife, and he should be glad that Mary had rejected the idea of the two of them making a match. So why did he feel like he had just watched something precious float away?
