Читать книгу Modern Romance Collection: June 2018 Books 5 - 8 - Jane Porter - Страница 21

CHAPTER ELEVEN

DETERMINED TO MAKE the most of whatever time was left, Millie kept a lookout for Khalid’s return. She blenched to see him arriving with a group of grandly dressed men. Quickly retreating into the private section in the depths of the pavilion, she remained by the dividing curtain to listen. It could only be a deputation from his court. Khalid brought them inside, and she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was furious.

‘I gave clear instructions that I was not to be disturbed while I was in the desert. Speak in English,’ he rapped when the leader of the men, with an obsequious bow, began to say something. Khalid knew she was here, and he wanted her to hear everything. It filled her with warmth and confidence to know he was protecting her even now. Though the sense that they would be parting soon hadn’t left her, and her heart was aching with real physical pain.

‘Forgive me, Your Majesty,’ the same man said. ‘Urgent news from the capital.’

‘Which is?’ Khalid demanded, looking every inch the hawk of the desert as he spoke, Millie saw as she stood in the shadows.

‘Another bridal party has arrived, this time from a Mediterranean kingdom—’

She heard Khalid’s sound of disgust. ‘Have these people no manners? Are they so desperate to offload their daughter? That’s enough. They have been told not to come, and nothing has changed.’

‘We know you had forbidden this, but the Mediterranean royal family decided to bring the Princess, anyway.’

‘In direct contravention of my wishes.’

‘Yes, Your Majesty.’

A Mediterranean princess, Millie thought. She could imagine someone beautiful, who had been groomed to rule at Khalid’s side—not a tomboy with oil on her overalls. She had always known this would happen. There was no point in getting upset about it. She shouldn’t feel so brutally let down. Khalid had done everything he could to protect her, and she had always known what she was getting herself into. He had never misled her for a moment. Her broken heart was all her own doing.

He was still talking, but in a muted tone, and in his own language. To her ears, he seemed calmer, happier. Perhaps the Princess was very beautiful and he’d relented. Digging her fingers into her palms until her nails cut the skin, she was glad he was talking in Khalifan. She couldn’t bear to hear the truth as written by her imagination.

‘Take refreshments before you go,’ she heard Khalid say in English. ‘I will follow you back to the palace in due course.’

She clung to the tent pole, feeling dizzy as she waited for the men to leave. Being hidden in the pavilion should have been wake-up call enough. She could only ever be hidden away. She could choose to be his mistress, even now. The offer had never been rescinded. Think of the engines she could work on, while she waited for him to find time for her.

Even humour couldn’t help her now, Millie concluded; she was long past laughing at this situation. And she couldn’t fudge how she felt when he came to find her.

‘Millie?’

Her head was swimming. For the first time in her life, she didn’t feel strong, or capable, she felt faint, physically, mentally, and it must have shown. As if alarmed by her pallor, Khalid took hold of her arm and drew her to him. The pretence was over. A prospective bride with ironclad credentials was waiting at the palace in his capital city. There was no place for Millie in Khalid’s life going forward. ‘I’ve always known this had to end,’ she said, smiling as she tried to make it easy for him. ‘I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. But,’ she added in a fiercely upbeat tone, ‘better now, and quickly, than death by a thousand cuts.’

‘What on earth are you talking about?’ he demanded. ‘Didn’t you hear me send them away? This is not the end, unless you want it to be the end. We can have as long as you want.’

As his mistress, she thought. A muscle flicking in his jaw betrayed his tension as he waited for her answer.

‘You’ve spent too long away,’ she said, ‘and the country is missing you. It’s time for us both to go home.’

He held her at arm’s length so he could stare into her face. ‘I don’t regret a moment of this.’

That sounded like a death knell.

Dreams, she mused as she stared into Khalid’s harsh, warrior face. They all had to end somewhere, and she would never hurt him by prolonging this. How could she hurt the man she loved?

‘Nothing has changed,’ he insisted. ‘Those men answer to me.’

‘But I don’t,’ she said.

There was a silence, as if he needed to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t a princess to be paraded in front of him for his approval, but Millie, the laundress, soon to be engineer, who made her own decisions.

Millie could deliver a rebuke with her silent defiance more effectively than with a million words. His men would go back to the palace, and send the Princess and her family away, but the damage was done. The expression in Millie’s eyes said this idyll was over, and it wasn’t up to him to change the rules. He would try to persuade her she was wrong, but Millie was her own woman, and would plough her own furrow. Wealth and status meant nothing to her. She looked for more meaning that that.

‘The Princess is one of many my royal council has asked me to consider. Our constitution allows the royal council to choose a bride for me—’

‘What?’ Millie exclaimed.

‘The law didn’t trouble Saif. He would have his women and his bride—’

‘And you’re different?’ she said, feeling faint, feeling unlike herself, feeling furious.

‘I will change the law,’ he said.

‘In time?’ And when he didn’t answer, she added, ‘I’ve no intention of waiting in line to learn if you’re engaged or married. I have a life too, and I need to be getting on with it. I can’t postpone everything each time you decide to go back to Khalifa to trial a prospective wife.’

‘I have no intention of trialling anyone—’

‘Then?’ she interrupted, tight-lipped.

* * *

She brought him up short, staring at him with such trust, when he knew he could offer her nothing. There would be an engagement. His country expected him to make an advantageous marriage, and he couldn’t put it off for ever.

‘So, it’s definite, then?’ she said.

He couldn’t lie to her and only briskly nodded his head.

‘Why prolong the agony?’ she demanded, lifting her chin, strong for both of them now. ‘I should go, and so should you. This is over.’

Something tore in his heart as she said the words that needed to be spoken. ‘I had planned to show you the desert.’

‘As I had planned to learn more about Khalifa,’ she agreed, ‘but that will never happen now. I think we both have to be realistic.’

She’d come through so much. Why must he be the one to hurt her like this?

‘Can you call for the helicopter, please?’ she asked briskly. ‘I’d like to leave now, or as soon as possible.’

He admired her so much. Nothing knocked Millie down, or, if it did, she soon bounced back again. ‘I’ll drop you at the airport when I leave,’ he agreed stiffly, knowing she was giving them both an easy way out. But she flinched, and he supposed he must have sounded clinical. After the wild passion they’d shared the contrast to this was just too stark. But he couldn’t hurt her, and the surest way of doing that was to keep her close.

‘One more night,’ he insisted, catching her close. ‘I’m not asking your permission,’ he added. ‘This is a direct order. We have one more night in each other’s arms.’

‘No. I can’t,’ she said, shaking her head.

‘Or, you won’t?’ he asked softly.

‘Khalid, please, don’t you think this is hard enough without spinning out the agony?’

He now proved how ruthless he could be, and seduced her.

‘You don’t play fair,’ she complained in a shaking sigh.

‘That’s right, I don’t,’ he agreed.

* * *

The bed Khalid was backing her towards was composed entirely of down-filled pillows, covered in the softest, finest silk. In this fragrant shaded cool, he laid her down and then joined her as he continued to soothe and arouse. She knew it was wrong, but who could resist him when he lifted her and rested her buttocks on the cushions, and spread her legs wide?

‘No, we mustn’t,’ she said, thrashing her head.

‘I’d say, we must,’ he argued.

‘It will only make things worse,’ she said as she wavered between reason and need.

‘For you or for me?’ he asked as he paused to protect her.

‘For both of us,’ she gasped against his chest as he moved over her.

It was always a shock when Khalid took her, he was so big, but he was also careful, knowing that his size was a consideration, before it became a pleasure. He’d always taken care of her, she acknowledged as he sank deep. Relaxing, she tightened her inner muscles around him to hold him firmly in place, but he had an answer for that too. Rotating his hips, he buffeted the tiny area that always needed him. ‘Now,’ she begged. ‘Don’t wait. I need this.’

Pulling back, he stared down. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Find out?’ she said.

Bracing himself on his forearms so his weight didn’t crush her, Khalid thrust his hips forward and took her in one, deep plunge to the hilt.

‘Faster! Harder!’ she cried to encourage him, and he rewarded her by doing just that. Maintaining a steady rhythm, he made sure that she extracted every single pleasure pulse, before launching her into an atomic release. Even before she’d quietened, he’d turned her on her stomach. She lifted her buttocks to encourage him. Nudging her legs wider, he pressed his hand into the small of her back to raise them even more. Taking a cheek in each hand, he controlled her steady movements back and forth.

They made love through the night as if each second must be savoured, because very soon it would be their last.

* * *

‘Wake up. It’s time to leave.’

Millie blinked groggily as she slowly came to. At first, it seemed she didn’t know where she was, only that Khalid was beside her. Groaning with contentment as the new day began, she reached for him.

‘Not now,’ he said, starting to get out of bed.

‘Yes, now,’ she argued. He’d made her insatiable. Something had changed in her body that made her need him more than ever.

‘We have to leave soon,’ he explained, but as their eyes met and she smiled into his, he relented. Drawing her into his arms, he kissed her with the utmost tenderness, and when he took her this time he was equally thorough and caring. ‘I’m going to find it hard to be parted from you,’ he admitted when they finally rested back with a contented sigh.

‘But part we must,’ she said, forcing brightness into her tone.

Was she laughing through her tears, or did she not care that much? This was a unique situation for him. He was always so sure of everything, but Millie was an enigma it would take a lifetime he couldn’t give her to unravel.

Dropping a kiss on Khalid’s shoulder, she tried to show that she could handle this. ‘Shall we have one last swim?’ she asked. She shrugged. ‘We need to shower, so...?’

‘There’s no need to leave the tent,’ Khalid explained. ‘There’s a bathing platform behind that curtain.’

‘All mod cons,’ she said lightly, turning to look to hide her tears. ‘You’ve thought of everything,’ she confirmed, turning back to face him as soon as she’d got her emotions under control.

‘I try to,’ he said, making things worse by dragging her close for a fierce, and maybe final kiss.

They linked fingers to walk the short distance across the rugs to the decorative cover he had indicated. Drawing it back revealed the shining lake of water.

‘Wow,’ Millie breathed. ‘I’m never going to get used to this, and I’m going to miss it so much.’ How much he’d never know.

‘You can swim in the shallows without anyone seeing you,’ Khalid said as he led her forward. ‘I hope your private bathing area meets with your approval, Ms Dillinger?’

He swept her a mock bow and now those tears were threatening again. But no way was she going to weaken. They should part as friends, not discontented lovers.

All well and good, she thought as they stood in the pearly light of dawn, staring out over the most incredible panorama of waking desert and limpid oasis. If this was the last time they swam together, she was going to make the most of it and the future would have to wait.

Khalid’s outstretched hand invited her to join him. They linked fingers again and walked to the water’s edge. One last time, she thought as they waded in together. The water was like a warm bath, but they were silent as they swam, as if both of them knew that the time for games and laughter was done. They returned to the tent to be greeted by the delicious scent of cooked food and good coffee. A stack of clean towels and fresh robes were waiting for them. Khalid’s people were discreet, and intuitive too, she thought.

‘The best staff in the world,’ he confirmed when she expressed her gratitude.

Removing the beautiful robe, she hung it up with care, regretting the fact, for the first time in her life, that it was back to oil-smeared overalls, and she would never wear a beautiful Khalifan robe again. She dressed quickly in travel clothes, just jeans and a top, and a sweater because it would be cold when she arrived in England. She took one last look around at the beautiful tent filled with exquisite artefacts. Even the sapphires in the gold bowls didn’t trouble her now. The past was the past, and it was time to face the future.

‘Do you mind if I take a picture?’ she asked.

‘Why?’ Khalid said, frowning.

‘To remember all this,’ she explained.

‘Will you forget so easily?’

There was hurt in his eyes. Goodness knew what he could see in hers. ‘No,’ she said. ‘I won’t forget. But when I’m an old lady, it will be nice to reminisce.’

‘To remind yourself that this actually happened?’

They stared at each other, both wanting to say more, but the sound of rotor blades intruded. Perhaps as well, Millie thought. ‘Is that our lift?’ she said, trying to sound casual.

‘Yes,’ Khalid confirmed.

That single word, and the way he said it, ripped the heart from her chest and made her wonder how much more she could take without breaking down. Everything, Millie thought. She’d take everything. She was strong and would remain so. It was the only way to be.

‘Are you tired of my company?’ Khalid teased.

Never. She would never tire of him, never forget him, never fall out of love with him, she thought as his hawk-like stare burned steadily into hers. But she was aching with tension and needed to leave. Why prolong the agony for either of them? Khalid was as tense as she was. She had never seen him so tightly wound.

‘This is torture,’ she admitted.

There was a moment when they stared at each other, and the next moment she was in his arms. ‘I’m not ready to part with you!’ he ground out in a voice hoarse with passion.

‘Then, you’re not being fair,’ she said. Removing herself from his arms, she stared up. ‘You can’t always have what you want, Your Majesty. A country depends on you.’

Khalid had to be strong for everyone, she thought as his hawk-like stare stabbed into hers. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, Millie. You’ve had too much trouble in your life, and I hold myself responsible for much of that.’

‘Then, don’t,’ she said. ‘I’m responsible for my actions. I chose to be here. I chose to listen to what you had to tell me about my mother, and it was my decision to stay. But I’ve always known we can’t have a life together. Don’t worry,’ she added brightly, dredging up resolve from the depth of her soul. ‘I won’t let history hold me back, or you, for that matter. What we had was good, but it’s done now. You have to let me go. I mean it, Khalid,’ she said when he looked shocked. ‘Let me go.’

‘Are you serious? That’s it? Done? Just like that?’

‘I am.’ She guessed he’d never been on the receiving end of a refusal before. She continued quickly before her heart overruled her head. ‘Did you think I wouldn’t be able to live without you? I won’t become your mistress. I have a good life back in England, and people who love me. I’m working towards a job I enjoy—’

‘So you don’t need me,’ he supplied.

‘Exactly,’ she confirmed with a thin smile.

‘Good,’ he said tonelessly. ‘I could ask for nothing more for you.’

Parting from him was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Killing off all hope of a future, or reconciliation was worse.

‘If that’s what you really want,’ he said.

He had to be sure, she thought. There could be no going back now. Her next words would end this. ‘It is what I want,’ she said. ‘We both know it’s the only way forward, and best for both of us.’

That might be right, but no one could steal her memories away. They would stay with her for ever.