Читать книгу Infamous - Jane Porter - Страница 13

IT WAS A GORGEOUS afternoon, hot, sunny, the sky a dazzling california blue. Wolf was driving a different car than he had last night, a gleaming red Ferrari that looked brand-new.

A studio head, just leaving his office and heading for his car, noticed the Ferrari, too, and wandered over to shake Wolf’s hand and compliment him on the car.

“That’s a Superamerica, isn’t it?” he said to Wolf as he shook his hand. “Hardtop convertible.”

Wolf opened the passenger-side door for Alexandra. “It is.”

“I was reading about the car’s revolving roof recently. Doesn’t it open up in ten seconds?”

Wolf was heading to the driver’s side now. “It does.”

“What are they? Half mil?” he asked as Wolf settled behind the wheel.

Wolf put the key in the ignition, started the engine. “A little less than that,” he said before putting the car into reverse.

The other man whistled. “Beautiful car.”

Wolf nodded agreement and drove away. But Alexandra sat next to him, dumbfounded.

“This car is worth half a million dollars?”

Wolf shot her an amused glance. “It’s not that much. It’s closer to a third of a million. But I can see you don’t approve.”

She studied the car’s interior. The steering wheel wasn’t exactly normal. It had paddle shifters on the wheel, but other than that it looked like an ordinary—albeit very clean—sports car. “I don’t understand why anyone would spend so much money on a car.”

“I have the money.”

“Yes, but—”

He was leaving Culver City behind and heading for Santa Monica. “But what?”

“But you could do a lot of good with that money. You could feed starving children and build houses for the homeless and things like that.” She stopped talking, bit her lip, stared at her hands, inspecting the spa manicure she’d gotten at the salon yesterday. “I know it’s none of my business. I just wish I had the means to help more people. I think we should all help more people.”

Wolf looked at her for a long, silent moment. “I agree,” he said quietly before returning his attention to the road.

They traveled in silence down Santa Monica Boulevard and then north on Highway 1 wrapping the coast toward Pacific Palisades and scenic, craggy Malibu.

Wolf drove well, fast but confidently, and with the cliffs to the right and the sea to the left, Alexandra felt as though she were part of a movie or some reality television show.

He had been unusually quiet since she made her comment about helping others, but she wasn’t sorry for thinking people should help others and she wasn’t sorry for thinking an expensive car like this was a waste of money. He could buy whatever he wanted and she could think whatever she wanted. They weren’t really a couple. They didn’t have to agree.

Finally Alexandra couldn’t take the silence any longer. She made a pitiful stab at conversation by asking him, “Are you excited about the new film?”

“Excited?” Wolf repeated, his upper lip curling. “I wouldn’t say I’m excited, but I will be glad to work again. Working distracts me. Keeps my mind off other things.”

It wasn’t the answer she’d expected. She’d imagined he enjoyed acting, thought he would have found a certain fizz factor from being one of the most highly acclaimed actors in the business. “What things?”

His eyebrow arched as he glanced at her. “We all have ghosts and demons.”

“And you won’t tell me yours.”

“No.”

Alexandra didn’t know if it was his expression or the caustic curve of his sensual mouth, but she felt the strangest flutter inside her middle as though she were nothing but naked nerve endings.

“Do you ever go home?” she asked suddenly, not sure where the question came from but curious about him, curious about his past as well as those ghosts and demons he’d just mentioned.

He shot her a long, assessing glance from beneath his lashes. He knew what she was doing, too. “Ireland or Spain?”

“Which is home?”

“Both, I suppose. I’m bilingual and was raised in both countries.”

“Your mother was Spanish.”

“From Cadiz,” he answered, slowing for the traffic light looming ahead. “I was born in Cadiz, but when I was twelve my parents divorced and I moved with my father to Dublin. Spain is home in ways Ireland could never be, but I’m comfortable in Ireland, I like the people.”

“And yet now you’re here, in America.”

“It’s what the career dictated.”

Alexandra stole a glance at him from beneath her lashes. “Do you ever regret becoming an actor?”

He hesitated before answering, shifting gears down and then, after the light changed, accelerating until he pulled into the parking lot for the Malibu Coffeehouse.

Turning off the engine, he turned to look at her. “Every day,” he said grimly.

After getting their coffee, Wolf drove to one of the scenic turnouts on Highway 1 and parked. Climbing from the car, they moved to the cliff’s edge to savor the view.

Wolf drew a deep breath, breathing in the stinging salty air off the Pacific Ocean. He loved the ocean, loved the cliffs of Malibu and Pacific Palisades. This area reminded him of Ireland’s southern and western coasts, especially when the soupy fog rolled in, covering everything in a misty, mournful gray.

If it weren’t for the ocean, Wolf didn’t think he would have survived so many years in Southern California. He hated L.A. He hated the falseness, the superficiality, the attitude and airs. People in his business—like so many people in Los Angeles—were afraid to be real, human.

They were afraid of their bodies, their age, their flaws, their frailties. Women here went to ridiculous lengths to be beautiful: nipping, tucking, tightening, enlarging, enhancing, sucking, smoothing. They worked on themselves endlessly, refusing to age naturally, fixated on how they looked, how others perceived them, how attractive they were in comparison to other women.

God, he missed real women. He missed wit and banter, laughter and smiles that made the eyes crinkle and foreheads wrinkle instead of ghastly BOTOX-frozen faces. He’d love to share a drink with a girl who could tell a proper story, eat a bag of chips and not immediately worry about her thighs. Sometimes Dublin seemed too far away, and in those moments he missed his old life—the ordinary life before he’d become a celebrity—more than he could say.

Alexandra watched Wolf sip his coffee as they leaned against his half-a-million-dollar car. She felt wrong leaning against a car that cost so much, but he did it so she supposed it was okay for her to do it.

Ever since they’d left the Malibu Coffeehouse Wolf had been quiet, and his expression was unusually pensive now. Always enigmatic, he seemed even more distant than usual. Again she wondered why he didn’t enjoy being an actor and why his success—and the accompanying fame—didn’t mean more to him.

Was he really so spoiled? Was it arrogance that made him fail to appreciate his achievements? Or was it something else?

“There’s nothing planned after this, is there?” she asked, wind blowing, tousling her hair. She tried tucking strands behind her ears, but they wouldn’t stay there.

“We’ve a dinner tonight at Spago.”

Any other time Alexandra would have been excited about the idea of eating at Spago. Wolfgang Puck’s name and reputation spoke for itself. But she was tired—she hadn’t been sleeping well lately—and after the tense afternoon she craved a quiet night at home. Alone. Preferably curled up on her couch with a good book.

“Do I have to go?” she asked in a small voice.

“Yes.”

“Why?” she asked in an even smaller voice.

He glanced at her, expression blank. “It’s Rye Priven’s birthday.”

Rye Priven was the newest heartthrob in Hollywood, a gorgeous Australian that had just co-starred in a film with Wolf. The film was in the editing stage now and was supposed to be released at Christmas, when all the big Academy Award contenders were released.

“But Rye Priven doesn’t know me—”

“Everyone’s coming as a couple,” Wolf answered roughly. “You’re supposed to be the other half of my couple.”

She ducked her head, stared sightlessly at her cup. She was hating being part of the couple right now. Wolf was so intense. And unpredictable.

“Rye’s hosting the party himself. He’s keeping it low-key,” Wolf added. “I think he’s only invited six friends, so my absence would be conspicuous, particularly as I already told him I’d be there.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t go,” she doggedly replied. “It’s just that I don’t feel like it.”

He looked at her over the rim of his coffee as he took another sip. “You don’t like me much, do you?”

“No,” she blurted and then winced at her bluntness.

“Why not?” Wolf paused, waited for an answer. “It’s a shame you can’t be more articulate in naming my faults.”

Alexandra shot him a swift assessing glance, but he didn’t look the least bit injured. “Your morals and values are deplorable. You could be someone truly great, someone … heroic. But instead you just use people. Take advantage of them. I hate it.”

“And you hate me, too.”

“I—” she started to protest but then fell silent. She didn’t want to start lying to him, because then the lies would never end. It was bad enough she’d agreed to do this, but to become as fake as her role? No. She wouldn’t sell out. She couldn’t. “Hate is a strong word,” she conceded. “But I don’t like you and I don’t respect you. You just seem so bored and spoiled and arrogant. Selfish, too.”

“You’re a hard woman, Alexandra Shanahan.”

She suddenly felt her anger start to melt. She didn’t want to be angry, didn’t like feeling angry. “You’re just used to women falling all over you, desperate to impress you, please you. It’s too bad, too, because you’ll never know if people like you for you or because you’re a famous movie star.”

“Or if they like me for my body or my face.”

Alexandra nearly choked on her sip of her now lukewarm coffee. “And that’s exactly why I don’t like you. You’re so incredibly …” she drew a rough breath “… so …”

“Yes?”

“Conceited.”

“Conceited,” he repeated.

“You have so much—you’ve virtually everything—and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“And just what is everything?”

She gestured, her hand sweeping up and down. “This. You. Looks, wealth, fame, intelligence, success. You have it all, you have more than anyone else I know. But do you even feel grateful? Do you even have any idea how blessed you are? I don’t think so.”

“I hired you to play my girlfriend. I’m not paying you to be my conscience.”

“I don’t think you’ve even got a conscience!” Alexandra shrugged. “And you’re right, none of this is my business. Just like who you pick up and take home isn’t my business. Or the number of women you have in a week, that’s not my concern either. You’re free to take women and use them and abuse them, because as long as they give themselves over to you, you’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Right.”

“Wrong!” Alexandra furiously tossed her cup into the trash bin and spun to face him. “Just because women will let you have them doesn’t mean you should take them. Just because women get blinded by your good looks and fame, just because they hope a night of sex will turn into true love, doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to take advantage of them.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Maybe I’m not taking advantage of these women. Maybe they’re taking advantage of me. Maybe they know one night of sex is just that, one night of sex, and when they leave me in the morning they leave happy to have had one night with me. They’ve got bragging rights, a chance to talk big—”

“That’s horrible.”

“To you.”

Her hands balled, nails pressing hard against tender skin. “Not just to me but to all women. It’s a lack of respect, a lack of awareness of how women think and feel, of how making love makes them think they’ve fallen in love …”

“You’re sounding as though this is pretty personal.”

Her chest felt hot and tight, too hot and tight. She felt absolutely undone, beyond her own level of self-control. “Women aren’t tissues, to be used and discarded.”

“Have I somehow hurt you, Miss Shanahan?”

She turned away, stared out across the busy lights of the boulevard.

Yes.

Yes. Four years ago, you parked your fancy car and we kissed and made out. And then when I fumbled with your damn trousers and belt buckle, you realized I was inexperienced. You realized I didn’t know how to touch you or give you pleasure and you got rid of me so fast afterward. If I couldn’t give you what you wanted …

Tears filled her eyes and she squeezed her fists against her ribs, pressing hard against her sides, pressing skin to bone. “No,” she whispered. “You’ve done nothing to me.”

“Are you sure? Because it’s almost as though you’ve some personal experience—”

“No.”

“Good. Then you’ll have no objections going to Rye’s party tonight?”

Alexandra reached up and swiped away a tear before it could fall. “You still want me to go?”

“Want?” His shoulders lifted. “I don’t know if it’s want, but you did sign a contract, and regardless of your personal feelings—or even my own—you’ll fulfill the contract.”

“Even if I hate you,” she whispered.

His mouth quirked, eyes dark and granite-hard. “Especially if you hate me. Fewer complications, remember?”

The party that night at Spago was less stressful than she’d feared.

The stylist had dropped off clothes for her to wear—a smart black cocktail dress that was both simple and sexy, very high stiletto heels and a pretty gold charm bracelet that was girlish and fun.

The stylist had shown Alexandra how to pile her hair on top of her head in a messy twist with loose tendrils falling here and there. With small gold studs in her ears and neutral makeup, she looked nothing like the office assistant she was.

Good, she thought, joining Wolf in the car. Because she wasn’t going to be an office assistant or production assistant for long. She was going to learn how to direct. She was going to make movies.

Wolf was driving a different car again tonight. This one was a sleek pewter Ferrari from the ‘60s. Even she could see it was a classic that had been lovingly restored.

“I’ve seen three cars so far,” she said, sliding into the passenger seat. “Are there more?”

Wolf waited for her to buckle her seat belt before driving off. “An entire warehouse full.”

“A warehouse?”

“I collect cars.” White teeth flashed, and Alexandra couldn’t be sure if it was a smile or a snarl. “Something else for you to disapprove of.”

Dinner was less tense than the drive to the restaurant. Nearly everyone attending the dinner was a celebrity. She counted four actors, two actresses, a comedian and an R & B singer, along with their respective dates. During dinner Wolf discussed politics with Rye and the R & B singer, and Alexandra was rather surprised by his depth of knowledge regarding world economics and the U.S. trade policy.

“Do I know you?” the man to her left asked when Alexandra turned from Wolf’s conversation to her dinner salad.

She recognized the man—an actor named Will Cowell—but they’d never met before. “No,” she answered, cutting the apple in her salad.

“Are you sure?”

She stabbed her fork into lettuce, apple, and blue cheese. “Quite sure.”

“Hmm.” Will studied her, elbow on the table, expression teasing. “Then I should know you.”

She chewed her salad diligently, hoping he didn’t see her blush. Swallowing, Alexandra wiped her mouth with her linen table napkin. “Why is that?”

“Because you don’t look like a bimbo—and God knows I need a break from bimbos.”

Alexandra laughed. She couldn’t help it. “What makes you think I’m not a bimbo?”

“No fake boobs or collagen-plumped lips.” He smiled charmingly. “I’m an expert in those things, you see.”

Her eyebrows arched, but she took another bite of salad instead of replying. It seemed safer to eat the sweet-tart vinaigrette salad than discuss his expertise in fake breasts and lips.

“Can I have a word with you alone? In private?” Wolf suddenly growled into her ear.

She turned toward him, apple and cheese skewered on her fork. “Why?”

His dark eyes snapped with fire. “Alone,” he repeated. “In private.”

Wolf stood up, pushed his chair back and took her by the elbow.

With his hand on her lower back, he pressed her through the restaurant and down the hallway until he found a small alcove by the pay phones.

“What are you doing?” Wolf demanded, turning on her. “What game are you playing?”

Alexandra shook her head, nonplussed. “Game? There’s no game. I was having dinner, talking to Will—”

“Will’s pathological. He has to get in every woman’s pants.”

She jerked her head back as if slapped. “Well, he’s not getting in mine, and we were just exchanging a few words. Pleasantries, that’s all.”

Wolf’s features tightened. “He was looking at you as though he’d devour you any moment.”

“If you didn’t notice, I was devouring my salad.”

“You’re supposed to be devouring me.”

Alexandra gasped with outrage and shock. Her jaw dropped, her eyes grew wide. And then she snapped her jaw closed and came out swinging. “Sorry, Wolf, but I’m afraid I don’t have the experience!”

She gave him a shove, her hand connecting with his chest, and she’d pushed at him so hard her wrist did a painful little snap, but he didn’t budge.

Wolf felt her hand hit his chest, but he didn’t move a muscle. He couldn’t. He was wound too tight.

No one and nothing got under his skin, not anymore. He wanted to believe that, but since meeting Alexandra Shanahan, she’d lived under his skin.

His gaze swept her face. “What do you mean that you haven’t the experience?”

Her dark blue eyes snapped at him. “I mean that I’m not an actress and I haven’t devoured lots of men and I can’t do whatever it is you want me to do.”

“Are we talking oral sex or intercourse?”

He watched, fascinated, as a wave of color stormed her cheeks.

“And that,” she choked out, tendrils of hair falling around her face, “is none of your business.”

“Just like my sex life is none of your business.”

“That’s because you have one and I don’t!”

He leaned toward her, trapping her between the pay phone and the wall. “You could.”

Another wave of color surged through her cheeks, darker, hotter than before. Her blue eyes shimmered. “It’s not in our contract,” she said through gritted teeth, nose in the air, cocky as a little girl in a denim skirt and cowboy boots.

“No,” he muttered, “but this is.” He closed the distance between them with one aggressive step.

Alexandra’s heart thumped wildly and she pressed backward, her hands behind her, knuckles tight against the wall. He loomed over her, so tall, so big, so much more powerful, and it wasn’t even his height that made him strong or his frame but the force inside him, that fire. He was alive and intense, engaged and aware.

She didn’t want him to kiss her, didn’t want him anywhere near her. But once his head dipped, it was like last night at Casa Del Mar’s Veranda lounge.

Bolts of electricity shot through her, and that was even before his mouth completely covered hers.

And then when his lips did take hers, she felt the electricity again, hotter, brighter, sharper.

He felt good. He felt amazing. Unreal.

Her mouth softened. The pressure of his lips increased and her heart raced, fast, faster, as fire and hunger whipped through her.

She groaned as he parted her mouth with his tongue, groaned again as his tongue flicked the inside of her inner bottom lip, tasting her, teasing her, making her want more of him.

This wasn’t a kiss, she realized, dazed. This was his first step in seducing her, taking her, and he intended to do it. Despite the contract.

But would that change when he realized she really was as inexperienced as she said?

Back at the table, Wolf sat with his arm draped over the back of Alexandra’s chair. And her chair was close to his—so close that no one could mistake his actions for anything but a sign of possession.

He was claiming her, marking his territory, letting the other men know to stay away and letting other women know he was taken.

Alexandra, he noticed, didn’t like it.

“You might as well put a Sold sign on me,” she said through gritted teeth.

“That’s not a bad idea,” he answered, smiling faintly at her pink-cheeked indignation. He’d never met a woman who blushed so much—or made a simple blush so alluring.

Studying her profile, he found it hard to believe she was as inexperienced with men as she claimed. How could she be when she was so ridiculously pretty?

He looked at her thoughtfully, almost clinically, trying to understand what it was about her that made him want to put that Sold sign on her.

Maybe it was that leggy tomboy stride of hers, or her mouth that was endlessly expressive, sometimes set, sometimes pursed, sometimes smiling most beguilingly.

Wolf didn’t know which he liked better—that full mouth with the tiny indentation in the bottom lip or the midnight-blue eyes set so wide beneath winged eyebrows.

Or her sharp mind and sassy tongue.

His sardonic smile stretched.

She was a breathtaking combination of girl and woman, funny, sensitive, proud, uncertain. Unlike the women in Los Angeles who pursued him, women who blatantly advertised their interest and availability, Alexandra didn’t project her sexuality. It was hidden, secret, and yet when he kissed her, she became a different woman.

She became his woman.

It was as simple as that.

Later, as they drove from Spago back to Alexandra’s house, she sat as far as she could from Wolf in the snug sports car and kept her eyes firmly fixed out the passenger window.

Wolf had reached a whole new level of despicability. He’d shown his true colors, behaved like a member of the animal kingdom more than once.

“You’re still upset about the kiss,” Wolf said.

His nonchalance only antagonized her further. “Everyone noticed your behavior at dinner.” She threw him a disgusted look. “You kept your arm on my shoulder throughout the meal as though you were afraid I’d bolt away any minute.”

“I wasn’t afraid you’d run away. Your heels are far too high—”

“Wolf, don’t play the charming-Irishman card right now, okay?”

“And I like touching you,” he continued smoothly as though she’d never interrupted. “You’re my girlfriend. It’s my prerogative.”

“And that’s how it felt, too. It was your prerogative to touch me. Your prerogative to kiss me. Your prerogative to do whatever you damn well pleased.” She finally turned to face him. “Next time why don’t you just pee all over me like an alpha wolf should.”

He’d pulled up in front of her house, and turning off the engine, he flashed her a lazy white-toothed grin. “Hmm, kind of kinky for a girl without much experience, but if that’s what you want—”

Alexandra threw the door open and jumped out of the car before she had to listen to another word.

And as she undressed for bed, peeling the smart, sexy black dress off, Alexandra wanted to scream with frustration. Spending time with Wolf was hard, far harder than she’d even imagined. It wasn’t just one thing, it was everything. He wasn’t just physically gorgeous, his personality was huge, his charisma larger than life.

He was far more than she could handle, and she’d known it, she’d known it from the beginning, but she wanted that promotion. She wanted it badly.

And unless you’d been a little girl who’d grown up outside a small town, you didn’t appreciate that for girls in small towns opportunity meant a job at Wal-Mart and success meant one day owning your own car free and clear. Unless you’d been the only girl in a family of overbearing brothers, you didn’t understand the value of dreaming, and dreaming big.

Unless you’d listened to the sound of television late into the night, the canned laughter on TV shows and overly loud commercials the only sound in your house after everyone else had gone to bed, you didn’t know the definition of escape.

You didn’t know how important it was to get away and become someone else, something better, something more.

But Alexandra knew all these things, had lived all these things, and she decided years ago she’d have a different life than her mother, her father, her brothers. She’d do it differently than the people who seemed to just get swept along by life.

She wouldn’t be swept along. She’d do the sweeping.

She wouldn’t ever make anyone take care of her.

But Wolf Kerrick seemed determined to change all that. In fact, if she let herself really think about it, it felt as though Wolf Kerrick was sweeping her.