Читать книгу A Daughter’s Return - Janet Barton Lee - Страница 11
ОглавлениеOver the next few days Rebecca’s typing improved greatly and by the weekend her papers showed few mistakes but little speed.
“You will get faster, I promise,” Ben said as they waited to be called to dinner on Friday. “That’s what all the practice is about. You haven’t been at it even a week yet. Give yourself a break. You’re doing really well with your math assignments.”
“Thank you. You’re right. I suppose I am being impatient. I’m taking a break tonight. I promised Jenny I’d take her over to Michael and Violet’s to see baby Marcus.”
“That’s a good idea. It will do you both good to get out. I’ll be glad to escort you over and come and get you.”
“Thank you. I’ll accept your offer.” She lowered her voice. “I’m not used to living under my mother’s rules again, but I understand why she put them in place and I certainly can’t go against them now I’m making my home here.”
Mrs. Heaton had a hard-and-fast rule that young women living at Heaton House did not go out and about alone after dark. They had to be in a group or one of the male boarders had to escort them. “I’m sure she appreciates your attitude.”
“It’s the least I can do. Besides, I wouldn’t put Mama through that kind of worry again.”
Ben wanted to ask more, to know what exactly she’d done that she felt so bad about. Oh, he knew she’d left home and never gone back until Kathleen and Luke had found her last year. And he’d worked with many young women living on their own. Their stories were sad, most regretted whatever they had done that had brought them to the place they were—having to learn a skill to provide for themselves and their child, or in the case of some, their children.
But they volunteered the information on their own, and Rebecca’s past wasn’t something he thought he should ask about no matter how badly he wanted to. It was none of his business and he didn’t want to bring her more pain by having to dredge up what she’d been through. In the meantime, he sensed she needed a friend and he could be that for her. “What time do you want to leave?”
“Soon as we finish dinner. Violet said she wouldn’t put little Marcus down until about eight-thirty, so we won’t be there long. I hate for you to take us, come back, and then have to turn around and come get us, though. Why don’t you stay and visit, too?”
“I will. I haven’t visited with them in a while.”
* * *
Mrs. Heaton called everyone to dinner and once they were all seated, she asked Ben to say the blessing.
As always, dinner was very good and tonight the conversation centered on the building Matt was working on. It was one of the tallest in the city and his tales of working his way into the sky kept the interest of everyone at the table.
“I can’t imagine working up so high.” Rebecca waved her hand toward the ceiling.
Millicent dipped her spoon into her soup. “Neither can I. I’d love to get photographs from up there, but I—” She broke off and shivered.
“I’d sure like to see the city from up high.” Ben turned to Matt. “It must be some view.”
“It’s something, that’s for sure.” Matt nodded. “I think that’s why I love working on these buildings. The view is breathtaking.”
“If you don’t fall off the scaffolding!” Millicent said.
“Believe me, I don’t intend to.”
The subject of heights and the danger of Matt’s profession always seemed to be a sore spot between the two, and Ben often wondered if they had feelings for each other.
Once dinner was finished, Rebecca turned to Jenny. “Run up and wash your hands, so we can go visit Aunt Violet and Uncle Michael, and baby Marcus, of course. We need to get going.”
“I’ll hurry, Mama,” Jenny said, slipping out of her chair and running out of the room.
Rebecca turned to her mother. “Ben has offered to escort us there and back, Mama.”
“How nice of you, Ben,” her mother said, giving him a smile before turning back to her daughter. “The outing will be good for you, dear. Cuddle baby Marcus for me.”
“I will. I’d better go freshen up a bit myself. We’ll be back down in a few minutes, Ben.”
“I’ll be here.”
Once they left the room, Mrs. Heaton turned to Ben. “Thank you for offering to escort them, Ben. Rebecca has been on her own for a long time, having to do things by herself. But I do so appreciate her trying to live by the rules I’ve set for the other women at Heaton House.”
“You’re welcome. And I’m sure Rebecca wouldn’t want to undermine your rules for the others.”
“No. She wouldn’t.” Mrs. Heaton nodded. “I do hope she’ll start joining you all on your outings and leave Jenny with me before too long. Rebecca needs to have a little fun in her life.”
“I’m sure we’ll be able to talk her into some outings, Mrs. Heaton. We’ll do our best.” He certainly would.
“Thank you, Ben. I think being around you all is exactly what my daughter needs right now.”
She didn’t elaborate and Ben didn’t press.
“We’re here!” Jenny bounded back into the dining room. “Are you ready, Mr. Ben?”
Ben jumped up and grinned at the child. “I am, Miss Jenny. But where’s your mama? Isn’t she going with us?”
Jenny giggled. “Of course she is, but she’s not as fast as I am.”
“She’s right, I’m not.” Rebecca said, entering the room. “I must be getting old.”
“You’re not old, Mama,” Jenny said. “Even Granma isn’t old yet.”
Mrs. Heaton laughed. “Oh, Jenny, darling, you are so good for your grandma! Come give me a kiss before you go.”
Jenny ran into her grandmother’s arms as her mother smiled and watched. The love in her eyes for her child and her mother touched Ben’s heart. Rebecca was happy to be with her family again. One could see it—feel it even.
Rebecca’s smile lit her face and Ben hoped she’d be smiling more in the days to come. It wasn’t that she frowned. And it wasn’t that she appeared to be in a bad mood. There seemed to be something keeping her from enjoying being back with her family to its fullest—as if she were afraid her joy would be taken away from her. As if she didn’t deserve it.
Ben related—somewhat. At least he knew what it was to deny himself something he feared wouldn’t last. His own mother had cast him aside, and then the woman he’d hoped to make a life with had rejected him. How could he ever trust that any other woman he might fall in love with wouldn’t do the same?
* * *
“Ben? Are you ready?” He seemed lost in thought when Rebecca spoke to him, but he quickly turned to her and smiled.
“I’m sorry. I must have been woolgathering. Let’s go.”
“Better grab your wraps. It’s getting cold out,” Mrs. Heaton said.
“We will, Mama,” Rebecca said. She couldn’t help but smile as they went to the foyer to get their jackets. She supposed she’d be telling Jenny the same thing when Jenny was her age. Since she’d become a mother, Rebecca had appreciated her own more than ever. Now she welcomed the chance to show her how much.
She helped Jenny on with her new jacket, thankful she had one warm enough for the cooler weather. Not long after she’d been found, Michael and her mother had called her into her office and told her that her father had left a small inheritance to her for when she turned twenty-one. But she’d gone missing by then. Still, they’d invested the money, trusting she’d be found one day and they turned it over to her.
What they called small had seemed like a fortune to Rebecca, although she realized she’d need to handle her inheritance well and she was determined to make sure she saved for Jenny’s future. However, it had enabled her to purchase new wardrobes and to buy Jenny the doll she’d wanted so long for Christmas with plenty left over in savings—even after letting Michael invest some of it. Rebecca felt truly blessed as Ben helped her on with her coat and they hurried out into the brisk evening air.
Lights were on in most of the homes surrounding Gramercy Park, helping to guide the way to the trolley stop. The leafless trees stood stark against the night sky, but Rebecca knew that in a few months they’d be budding out to give much needed shade.
Rebecca loved the small park and was glad she had access to it because of living at Heaton House. She could take Jenny outside to play anytime—without worrying about the filth in the street or in the hallway of the building they’d lived in. She was so very thankful they were out of those tenements.
Now she smiled as she watched Jenny hop, skip and jump to the trolley stop, but she never got too far ahead. Once they got on, she climbed up onto Rebecca’s lap and looked out of the window. They’d walked most places when they lived in the tenements and getting to ride anywhere was quite a treat for them both.
The ride wasn’t a long one, which was a good thing because Jenny was very excited about seeing her baby cousin. As they stepped off the trolley and walked the block to Michael’s home, she ran ahead just far enough to ring the doorbell as Rebecca and Ben reached the steps. The door flung wide to let them in.
“Hello, Uncle Michael! Is baby Marcus still awake?”
Michael swept Jenny up into his arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek, while Rebecca and Ben came in and took off their coats. “Yes. He’s been waiting for you. We’ve missed you, Jenny!”
“I’ve missed you, too, but I do love being at Granma’s.”
“We’re glad you do, but our house sure has been quieter since you’ve been gone.”
“Doesn’t Marcus make any noise?”
“Well, yes, but he can’t talk, you know.” Michael set her down and helped her off with her coat before handing it to Rebecca. “He’s in the parlor with Aunt Violet.”
Jenny took off in a run and Rebecca followed her into the parlor to ooh and aah over the baby. He was adorable, with Michael’s hair and Violet’s eyes, and holding him made Rebecca wish life might be different and she’d have a loving husband and more children. But that wasn’t in her future and she pushed the thought to the back of her mind.
Michael and Ben joined them and they began talking sports while Rebecca and Violet talked about the upcoming housewarmings they’d all been invited to. Kathleen and Luke’s party was first up for the next weekend and then Elizabeth and John Talbot’s would be a few weeks later.
“I can’t wait to see their homes,” Violet said.
“Neither can I. I’m sure Elizabeth’s aunt is helping her, but I should find out if Kathleen needs any help,” Rebecca said.
It seemed odd to Rebecca that although her mother owned Heaton House and her background wasn’t very different from those living at the boardinghouse, Rebecca sometimes felt more at ease around Kathleen than anyone. Perhaps it was because she’d been the one to persuade her to come back to her family.
Kathleen had lived in the tenements, too, although they hadn’t known each other then. Still, there seemed to be a kinship in having lived in similar places. There was no need to discuss the conditions there, for they were much the same for all of them. It was comforting to be around others who’d wondered if they would ever be able to get out.
They were all proof one could, and as Kathleen and her sister, Colleen, had been able to help others in those situations, now Rebecca found she wanted to lend a helping hand in a similar way. She just wasn’t sure how.
“I imagine Kathleen would appreciate some help,” Violet said. “I am so happy for them all, but things must be a lot quieter at Heaton House.”
“Things aren’t quite as lively as they used to be with everyone there. Mama plans to put an advertisement in the paper as soon as the remodeling she wants to do is finished.”
“I’m glad you’re there to help her with all that, sis. How’s everything else going for you?” Michael asked. “Ben told me you’re taking classes from him.”
Rebecca nodded. “Everything is going well, and yes, I start classes this coming Tuesday. Ben has been helping me catch up with his students.”
“She’s excellent at math and she’s going to do really well in the business classes,” Ben said
“She’s always been very smart,” Michael said with a smile. “Thanks for helping her out, Ben.”
“It’s been my pleasure. I like helping people, just as everyone else at Heaton House does. Mrs. Heaton’s good works are an inspiration to us all.”
Rebecca had a feeling Ben had helped others long before he moved to Heaton House. He was that kind of person. “I am so proud of Mother and all of you for helping others in this city the way you have,” Rebecca said. “I hope to find a way to help, too. But I’m not sure where to start.”
“Being with mother and living at Heaton House, I’m sure you’ll have many chances to do what you can,” Michael said.
“I do hope so,” Rebecca said.
“Oh, no doubt about it,” Ben said. “The opportunity to help others will come your way.”
* * *
They chatted for a while longer, until baby Marcus began to fuss, signaling it was time for company to leave. They put on their coats and Ben waited as Rebecca and Jenny gave kisses and hugs, and then the three of them hurried out into the brisk night air.
A sudden gust of wind made it even colder as they started toward the trolley, and Jenny surprised Ben by holding up her arms to him. “Will you carry me, Mr. Ben?”
“Jenny, I’ll carry you,” Rebecca said.
The child shook her head. “I want Mr. Ben to.”
“I don’t mind, Rebecca,” Ben said, bending down to lift the child into his arms.
“But—”
“Hurry, Mr. Ben. Here comes the trolley and it’s cold!” Jenny said. “Run, Mama!”
Rebecca had no choice but to keep pace with Ben as he rushed toward the trolley stop, trying to keep her child warm. They entered the streetcar and Rebecca quickly found a seat by the window and then held out her arms to Jenny. “Come on, sweetie. Mama will hold you now.”
Again, Jenny shook her head before laying it on Ben’s shoulder, turning his heart to mush as he slid into the seat by her mother. He looked down at Rebecca, who seemed taken aback by the fact that Jenny wanted him to hold her and unsure as to whether or not to pull her daughter out of his arms and into hers. “She’s fine, Rebecca. I don’t mind at all.”
Rebecca sighed and nodded her head. “All right. This time.”
He had a feeling she was as surprised as he’d been that Jenny wanted him to hold her. After only a few moments, one of the child’s arms relaxed and dropped down from around his neck. He looked at Rebecca and whispered, “I think she’s already asleep.”
Rebecca leaned over to look at her daughter. “You’re right. She is.”
Lowering his voice so as not to waken the child, he broached the subject he’d wanted to bring up. “You know...you said you’d like to help others?”
“Yes, I would. I’m just not sure—”
“I have an opportunity for you.”
“Oh?”
Ben nodded. “Remember, I mentioned how you’d be an asset to the classes I teach at the Y?”
“Yes. What are you thinking?”
Ben took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “Most of the women I teach have a really tough life and they could use a mentor—someone who’s come through some hard times, too, who can listen to them, give them encouragement and advice. I think you would be the perfect person.”
“Oh, Ben, I’m not sure. I—”
“You don’t need to answer just now. Wait until after you meet them and get to know them and then make your decision. Please.”
“I...all right. I’ll meet them. I’m not sure I’m the right person for this, though.”
“I’m certain you are, but the decision is yours. I won’t push.”
Rebecca nodded. “We’ll see what happens.”
“That’s all I can ask.” Jenny stirred in his arms and flung an arm tighter around his neck. This child had wormed her way into his heart in the past few weeks and he had no idea what—if anything—to do about it.
There was no getting around the fact that he liked holding Jenny and sitting next to her mother. It felt...right. He glanced down at Rebecca. He’d enjoyed the evening a great deal. Maybe too much for his own good. Having a child steal his heart was one thing. Losing it to her mother was something entirely different. He couldn’t let it happen.
* * *
By Tuesday evening, Rebecca was a bundle of nerves. Ben had assured her she would do fine and he’d help with any problems she might encounter. Still, leaving Jenny and meeting new people, some of whom Ben wanted her to mentor, had her wondering if she should have delayed taking classes for a few months.
But Jenny was excited about Granma putting her to bed—most probably because she hoped to get an extra snack—and Rebecca was sure her mother would be disappointed if she backed out.
So she did what was expected of her and was ready when Ben came up from downstairs. He helped her on with her wrap and she kissed Jenny. “You be a good girl for Granma, okay?”
“I will, Mama. I promise. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“I know. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Mama.”
Rebecca turned so no one could see the sudden rush of tears to her eyes at her four-and-a-half-year-old daughter’s reassurance. How did she know it was exactly what Rebecca needed?
She and Ben walked out into the cold night air and he took her arm as they headed toward the trolley stop. “That’s some daughter you have.”
Rebecca swallowed hard. “Yes, I know. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Sometimes she’s wise beyond her years.”
“She will be fine, you know.”
Ben’s understanding that she had mixed emotions about leaving Jenny made her feel better.
Their trolley arrived and they hurried on. It felt warmer inside but not by a lot, and Rebecca was thankful for Ben’s warm shoulder next to hers. It wasn’t nearly long enough before they arrived at the stop a couple of blocks from the Y and they stepped out into the cold once more.
Ben took her arm and pulled her close as they hurried down the walk. He led her into the building and upstairs to the third floor and into his classroom. The room was nearly filled with women, some younger than Rebecca, most about her age and a few older. They chattered amongst themselves in small groups, but the moment Ben entered, they all quieted and hurried to their seats.
There was one seat in the second row and Ben motioned for her to take it. Then he turned to smile at everyone.
“Good evening, ladies. It’s nippy out this evening, isn’t it? Glad you all could make it. You might’ve noticed there’s a new classmate with us tonight.” He motioned to Rebecca. “This is Rebecca Dickerson and she’s my landlady’s daughter. I’d like you all to meet her, so if you stay over after class, I’ll introduce you.”
Then he opened his book and went to the chalkboard where the same math problems she’d worked on earlier in the day were written out on the board. Rebecca relaxed a bit when she realized she could work them all. Maybe starting class now would be easier than she’d thought.
She loved Ben’s style of teaching. He made it fun and had them all laughing from time to time as they worked through the problems. She could tell his students all liked him...some probably more than a little. He lavished praise when one got a problem right and was encouraging when the answer was wrong.
Rebecca realized class was over only when Ben gave out the next assignments. The time had flown by. Evidently the others thought so, too, for no one seemed to be in a rush to leave, and she was pleased when a couple of them introduced themselves to her.
A young woman named Sarah came up first. She had blond hair and hazel eyes and a sweet smile. Molly introduced herself next. Her hair was brown, her eyes green and fairly sparkling with liveliness. She would probably be fun to be around. Rebecca had a feeling they wanted to know how well she and Ben knew each other, but they didn’t have a chance to ask.
Ben came up right then and introduced some others to her, explaining that Rebecca had a young daughter and wanted to be able to make a good living to support herself and her child, like many others there.
A few appeared skeptical but still welcomed her to the class. She wouldn’t remember all of their names right away, but hopefully she’d put names to faces before long.
As they all said good-night and went their separate ways, Rebecca realized she looked forward to the next class. Ben erased the board and then they headed back outside. It had turned even colder and she was glad when Ben drew her arm through his and took the brunt of the cold breeze as they hurried toward the trolley stop.
He stopped abruptly at a small café near the stop and looked down at her. “Want to get some hot chocolate to warm us up for the ride home?”
Rebecca hesitated only a moment. There was no need to hurry. Jenny would be fast asleep by the time they got back anyway and she was really cold. “That sounds wonderful.”
The small café felt cozy and warm—probably because it was nearly full of customers. But Ben seemed to know the proprietor and they were quickly shown to a table near the front window. Ben gave the order for two hot chocolates and smiled at her as the waiter hurried away. “At least it’s warmer in here.”
Rebecca shivered and chuckled. “It’d have to be. I hope this cold spell eases soon.”
“So do I. But I’m not ready for it to get too warm. I’m looking forward to doing some ice-skating soon.”
“Oh, that would be fun. Jenny’s been asking to learn, but I haven’t skated in a long while.”
“I’ll be glad to teach her.”
“That’s very nice of you, Ben.”
The waiter brought their drinks, and Rebecca wrapped her hands around the cup, warming them before she lifted it to her lips. She took a small sip and let the warm liquid thaw her insides. “Mmm, this is delicious. Thank you for thinking of this, Ben. I’m warmer already.”
“You’re welcome. I stop here often.” He smiled and took a sip of his own hot chocolate. “How did you like class?”
“I enjoyed it. You really are a very good teacher, Ben. Those women hung on every word. I think there might be a few students who are a little sweet on you.”
“Oh, no. I don’t think so. They are quick learners, though. I’m pleased with their progress. Do you remember any of their names?”
“I seem to recall...Sarah. I think that’s it? Blond hair.”
“Yes, that would be Sarah Jarvis. She’s one of the women I thought might benefit from getting to know you. She seems a little lost at times and I think she needs another woman to talk to.”
“She seems a little shy. But very sweet.”
Ben nodded. “Then, to her opposite, is Molly, who doesn’t have a shy bone in her. She’s very outspoken, but kind.”
Rebecca nodded. “I remember her, too. How old are they?”
“Sarah is seventeen going on eighteen and Molly is almost nineteen.”
“I thought they might be around those ages. And they are very nice. But, Ben, I’m still not sure I can help.”
“Please don’t say no until you get to know them and their situations better, Rebecca.”
The plea in his eyes had her asking, “Why is helping these women so important to you, Ben?”
He took a sip of his chocolate and leaned back in his seat. “Over half of the women I teach are living in the tenements, raising children by themselves with no man around to help support them. As you saw, several young women in class are obviously expecting babies.” Ben shrugged. “They aren’t all married and I fear any of them might give their children away if things get too hard for them. I want to help them be able to find positions that will provide a living for them, so they won’t do...what my own mother did. Drop those babies off at an orphanage.”
Rebecca’s heart seemed to shatter at his words. The very thought that Ben’s mother had abandoned him made her want to weep. She blinked to hold back tears. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I didn’t know.”
“It’s not something I talk about. But you wanted to know why I care so much and that’s it. However, I am a man and their teacher, and I must be careful in how I help. I feel my job is to teach them the skills they must have to get a decent job.”
He looked out the window for a moment before continuing. “But I believe they need to talk to a woman who has lived in similar conditions, who knows things can change for the better. They need someone to encourage them on a level I can’t. That’s why I asked you to help.”
Rebecca couldn’t resist—not after he’d opened up to her. Besides, she wanted to help others and he’d just given her an opportunity to do so. “I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you, Rebecca. That’s all I ask.”
Wanting to comfort him, Rebecca impulsively reached over and touched his hand. “Ben, for what it’s worth, and speaking as a mother...I’m sure your mother must have thought she had no choice. And giving you up had to have been the most difficult thing she ever had to do.”
Ben’s fingers curled around hers and squeezed, sending a shot of electricity straight to her heart. “Thank you, Rebecca. Your thoughts are worth more than you realize.”
The expression in his eyes warmed her as much as the hot chocolate she’d been sipping had and she quickly slipped her fingers away from his. “I guess we’d better be going.”
“I suppose so.” He looked out the window. “I think our trolley is coming now.”
They took one more sip of their drinks before heading outside. Rebecca almost hated for the evening to end, but the sudden burst of cold air took her breath away and brought her to her senses. She couldn’t start weaving sweet moments into impossible dreams—no matter how very much she longed to.
