Читать книгу Wanted: A Family - Janet Dean - Страница 11

Callie cringed, heat blooming in her cheeks. How could she have shared with Jacob Smith, a man, a stranger, the first movement of her baby? An intimate detail too personal to share with anyone but her doctor, her friends and the baby’s father, but Martin was gone and she hadn’t been able to contain her joy.

Worse, Mr. Smith appeared as overcome and delighted by the news as a prospective father. This would never do. Her breath caught. Jacob Smith was turning her world upside down.

Across from her, he took a long drink of water from the fruit jar, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. His sweat-soaked shirt clung to his torso, a surprisingly broad chest on that sinewy frame.

Martin had been soft, pudgy. The unkind comparison of her deceased husband to a drifter knotted in Callie’s stomach. “I’m going to town for my mail,” she said, eager to be on her way.

“Mind if I join you? I could use a break.”

At the thought of walking side by side with this man, a shiver snaked down Callie’s spine. Why couldn’t he have stuck to the task at hand? She ought to make an excuse and hurry inside, but she heard herself say, “I’d enjoy the company.”

He smiled, flashing that fascinating hollow in his cheek. “Give me five minutes.”

Looking pleased, as if accompanying her mattered, he vaulted over the railing to the ground with the grace and the quickness of a deer. Callie’s belly flopped like one of Martin’s landed fish. She tamped down such silliness. Mr. Smith merely needed a breather, exactly as he’d said.

Slow-moving clouds threw shadows on the house, pulling Callie’s eyes to the turret rising in the sky. Her family home had resembled this old Victorian, except the upper-story windows had worn stained-glass crowns, throwing splashes of color on the walls, delighting her little-girl heart. From those windows, donned in the cloak her mother had sewed and a beaded cardboard crown, the princess of her domain, she’d surveyed her kingdom—the fertile valley nestled in the foothills of Tennessee.

But the dam had been compromised and rushing water had whipped through the valley, sweeping the house and her family along in the flood.

She’d survived their loss. She’d survived Martin’s death. She’d survive whatever life threw her way. Her faith would keep her strong. But the deep ache of loneliness stirring within left her vulnerable. Vulnerable even to a man she knew nothing about.

Hadn’t she learned anything from her marriage to Martin?

Alone and adrift after Aunt Hilda died, Callie had soaked up Martin’s cheerful disposition and affectionate nature like parched ground and missed his lack of responsibility.

The minute he proposed, Callie had said yes. They set the wedding date for less than a month away. When the old Victorian came up for auction, Martin coerced his father into buying it as a wedding gift, insisting that the large family he wanted wouldn’t fit into Aunt Hilda’s tiny house. Once Callie sold the house, they used the proceeds to purchase furniture and had enough left over to put some money in the bank.

On her wedding day, Callie had never been happier. Martin had a secure job at his father’s store. They had some savings. His parents had accepted her with open arms.

It didn’t take long for the glow of marital bliss to fade. With Martin’s penchant for guns and fishing gear and the cost of supplies needed to rebuild the house, they tore through their savings. The more that Commodore did to keep them solvent, the more he expected to run their lives.

Not that anyone could control Martin.

Perhaps with a baby on the way, he would have stepped up to his new role. She’d never know.

But she’d learned a hard lesson. A man wasn’t always what he appeared.

Mr. Smith strode toward her, his hair damp under his hat, wearing a clean shirt and a contented smile that set her pulse racing. She folded her arms across her chest, vowing that she wouldn’t let him have this effect on her. No matter how much she admired his responsible nature and impressive accomplishments, she wouldn’t care about another man, especially a drifter.

When he reached her, their gazes locked. The yearning in his eyes lodged in her heart. They were two people cramming their days with meeting the needs of others, yet hungering for closeness. Every single bit of logic and misgiving vanished like dew on a summer day. Replaced by a pull towing her to him with a power she couldn’t explain.

A pull she wouldn’t heed.

Yet, her feet took her toward him. His eyes flared. Something meaningful and disturbing passed between them. Callie quickly looked away, breaking the hold this man had over her.

As she strolled beside him along the tree-lined walk toward town, she was all too aware of his height, the firmness of his stride, the power and energy he barely contained.

That first day she’d suspected he wasn’t a believer. How could she be drawn to such a man?

Martin had possessed faith, well, faith of sorts. Not much for combing Scripture, he’d left his edifying to the preacher at those times he didn’t snooze in the pew. In the two years they’d been married, they’d never shared a spiritual discussion.

Yet within hours of meeting, she and Mr. Smith had touched on their faith. From what he’d said, the man needed God. She would not get emotionally involved with a faithless man, but with God’s help, she could try to fill more than his stomach. She could nourish his soul. Help him find the answer to the pain she sensed lurking beneath the surface.

Callie gulped. As long as that answer wasn’t her.

Aunt Hilda had said Callie possessed a keen intuition about others’ feelings. Except for that one terrible exception with Nell, Callie had found her assessment true. She’d learned to observe people. Saw what they needed, how she could bring a smile or ease a worry. Perhaps she could give that strategy a try with Jacob Smith.

As they approached a hump in the walk, he took her arm. “Watch your step.”

A jolt shot through her. The startled look in Mr. Smith’s eyes said he’d felt that same wild reaction. She quickly released her hold on his arm, yet felt strangely bereft. She groped for a safe topic. “You’re an excellent carpenter.”

“Carpentry comes easy to me,” he said in a husky voice, “like building a nest comes easy to you.”

“Building a nest?”

“Yes, making a home, a welcoming place for friends like Elise, even an outsider like me.” His eyes warmed. “That’s a gift. I’ve seen my share of places and the people who live there. Your hospitality isn’t something I encounter often.”

Everything inside her turned to jelly. Why did he have such an effect on her? The answer came. He understood what she valued, the importance of home and family.

“My house is a gift from God and way bigger than I need. I want to share it with others.”

As if he doubted that God gave gifts, he didn’t respond. She’d do what she could to share her faith. And leave the outcome to the One who controlled the universe. In the meantime, she’d focus on the arrival of her baby, on giving refuge to unwed mothers and ignore this transient man at her side.

As they passed Elise’s family home, Callie’s steps slowed. In the shadows of her porch Sarah Langley sat on the swing. She was a good Christian woman and Callie always thought the same way about Mr. Langley, but Elise’s decision to keep her baby called for strong support from her father, not opposition.

Sarah waved. “Callie, can you spare a minute?”

Callie glanced at Jacob Smith. “Elise’s mother may have something important to say.”

“I’ll walk on ahead.” He strode off, his lanky, easy gait eating up the distance to town, leaving a baffling void. A void she would ignore.

Sarah left her porch, motioning Callie toward the shelter of her lilac bushes. Did she think neighbors would report the conversation to her husband? “I hoped I might catch you on your walk to the post office.” She fingered the collar of her dress. “When the baby decides to come, get word to me. If I can sneak away…” Her voice trailed off.

New lines of worry etched Sarah’s plump face. Shots of gray Callie didn’t remember seeing before streaked her auburn hair. “I understand.”

“I talked to Doc Wellman. He’ll let me make payments on his fee. Get him to help Elise when it’s her time.” She dug into the pocket of her apron, then thrust a stack of bills at Callie. “This is for diapers, a dress.”

Callie put the money in her purse. “This will mean the world to Elise. After our doctor’s appointments tomorrow afternoon, we’ll go shopping for the baby.”

“I know that girl can eat.” Sarah gave a shaky smile. “Wish I could help more, but…”

Obviously, Elise’s father wouldn’t let go of a dime to help his daughter. “I have shelves of canned food in the cellar and soon we’ll have produce from the garden. We’ll manage fine.”

Eyes filling with misery, Sarah stared off into the distance. “We had such plans for Elise. You know, for schooling, a good marriage.” Her voice faltered. “Now that’s gone.”

Callie laid a hand on Sarah’s sleeve. “Elise can still have those things, Sarah. Maybe not right away, but her life isn’t over. God will bring something good from this.”

A spark of hope lit Sarah’s eyes. “You’re right. God will work it out. I know it. I do.”

“You and Mr. Langley are in my prayers.”

“God bless you, Callie. I don’t understand why you’re doing this for my girl, but I thank you.”

But Callie knew. And if Sarah weren’t wrapped up in her own worries, she’d know, too.

With a hug goodbye, Callie walked up Serenity Avenue, her eyes on the uneven brick, her mind filling with the image of Nell. Callie swallowed around a lump in her throat. Redheaded Nell—upturned nose with a dusting of freckles, blue eyes sparkling with innocence. They were only sixteen, sheltered from the facts of life. Nell had trusted a man, fallen hard. A lesson Callie ought to remember.

At the corner, she turned left on Liberty. Jacob Smith lounged against a tree. At his thoughtfulness something inside her twisted. “You waited.” But then she remembered how fooled Nell had been by a man.

“I’m in no rush,” he said as they continued up Liberty. “Life must be more complicated with Miss Langley in your house.”

“Elise is a help and I enjoy her company.”

“I know you don’t like me saying so but no man should leave a woman in her circumstances.”

“Perhaps he did Elise a favor.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Marriage to some men would be intolerable.”

“Why would a woman involve herself with such a man?”

No one could be that naive. “What’s hidden can’t be seen, Mr. Smith.”

He studied her, his eyes filling with compassion, as if he suspected that she referred to her late husband. Well, he could keep his ill-placed sympathy to himself. She’d never met anyone more secretive.

Up ahead, the street bustled with activity by Peaceful standards. Carriages and wagons clattered over the brick. Shoppers stopped to chat on the walk. The one family in town with a newfangled automobile rounded the corner, honking its horn, frightening horses and young children.

“What do you know? Someone in Peaceful owns a Waverley Runabout.”

“That’s Mr. Burch, president of the bank.”

“I visited the Waverley factory in Indianapolis,” Jake said. “Can’t think battery-powered carriages will come to anything. Now those gasoline motor automobiles Haynes- Apperson is turning out in Kokomo interest me.”

“Really? You’d want one? My mare is a lot more reliable.”

“If they can get the kinks ironed out and a way to lower the cost, it wouldn’t surprise me if one day the streets were teeming with automobiles.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“Danger is a sign of progress, I reckon.”

An odd thought. One she’d examine later.

Callie greeted passersby as they strolled by the variety of shops dotting the main street: Langley’s Barber Shop, Lily’s Millinery and Gloves, Harrington’s Grocery, Cunningham’s Pharmacy. Up ahead the Mitchell Mercantile. A dog sniffed his way along the walk beside her, and then trotted across the street, successfully dodging horses’ hooves and buggy wheels.

Outside the post office, Jacob turned toward her. “I think I’ll look into getting a haircut.”

“Your hair is a bit shaggy,” she said with a smile.

He doffed his hat and plowed his fingers through his ebony hair. “We mutts aren’t groomed as often as those fancy lapdogs.”

“Nothing about you suggests mutt, Mr. Smith.”

His lips tilted up into a soft smile that climbed into his eyes and settled on her with such intensity that her mouth went dry as dust. She glanced away. “The barber is Elise’s father.”

“Thanks for the warning.” He plopped his hat on his head, flashed his dimple, then strode off, turning more than one woman’s head in his direction.

Jacob Smith was all male, more cowboy than any man she’d met. Unable to take her eyes off his lanky figure, she watched until he entered the barbershop. Chiding herself for such foolishness, she pivoted toward the post office and stepped inside, letting her eyes adjust to the dim interior.

Marlene Thompson, the postmistress, looked up from sorting the mail and punched her wire-rimmed glasses up her nose with her index finger. “Afternoon, Callie. How are you feeling?”

“The fatigue and nausea are long gone.” She smiled. “I just felt the baby move.” So much for telling only her friends such personal news, but she couldn’t seem to keep it to herself.

“What do you want? Boy? Or girl?”

“I want whatever I’m having.”

“With that attitude, you won’t be disappointed. Mr. Thompson was determined to have a girl. Five boys later, he decided I was girl enough for him.” She chuckled. “I could’ve told him that a whole lot sooner.”

Callie giggled. “Do I have any mail?”

“Nothing today. Nothing that is, except a question.” She motioned her closer. “I heard Elise Langley’s staying with you.”

“She is.”

“Good.” Mrs. Thompson’s brown eyes warmed with interest. “My nephew Albert and his wife, Sally, would love to have that baby if Elise is looking for a good home for it.”

“I believe Elise plans to keep her baby.”

Marlene’s shoulders sagged. “Well, if she changes her mind, ask her to talk to Sally.”

“I will.”

Callie knew the Thompsons and their desperate desire for a child. They would make wonderful parents. Callie doubted that Elise would consider such an arrangement. Yet her heart ached for the Thompsons. Why did some women long to have a child, yet remained barren, while others conceived babies with no interest in or means of caring for them?

What circumstances had led Jacob Smith’s mother to put her son in an orphanage? Or perhaps she had been forced to give up her child, as Elise’s father was trying to do.

If Callie had questions, she could only imagine Mr. Smith’s desire for answers. Could that be the reason he’d come to Peaceful? She sighed. Why was she getting involved with this man’s life? He’d only bring her grief.

A block down, Callie entered Mitchell’s Mercantile. The cavernous room held every utensil, tool, canned good, fresh-baked good and ready-made article of clothing imaginable. She dreaded running into her father-in-law. Yet, if she shopped elsewhere, the news would get back to him. She glanced around. No Commodore. No customers. Callie breathed a sigh of relief.

Since Martin’s death, her father-in-law had badgered her to move in with him and Dorothy, and Callie suspected he wanted her and her baby to fill the void in their lives after losing Martin. She understood that, but the vehemence of his insistence unnerved her. Did something beside grief motivate him?

At a table piled with an assortment of tiny garments and fabric for making blankets and diapers, Callie plucked a white gown from the stack. Silky ribbons closed the neckline, cuffs and hemline, every detail precious. She couldn’t imagine caring for an infant small enough to wear this. But in four months, she would. Would she even know how to be a good mother? What if the baby got sick? Or—

No, she refused to worry. Just because her parents and Martin had died tragically didn’t mean disaster lurked around every corner. Countless women had children and managed fine.

But alone?

She knew very few who’d handled that responsibility without a husband. She laid a hand on her abdomen. Please, God, keep my baby safe. Help me be a good mother.

If only she could talk to her mother, to ask advice, to share the specifics of motherhood. Her throat clogged. She didn’t have her mother, but she did have a mother-in-law and the ladies at church to advise her. She’d have support.

As she fingered the soft blanket, visualizing cuddling her baby swathed in its folds, filling her arms and her heart with a family of her own, tension drained out of her.

“Small, aren’t they?” Commodore’s gentle, almost reverent voice startled her. “Takes me back to Martin’s arrival.”

Surprised by this sentimental side of Commodore, Callie met his moist gaze and smiled. “From the pictures I’ve seen, Martin was a beautiful baby.”

“Sure was. And strong. Why, he held up his head that first week.” His voice sounded gruff, thick with emotion. “If you want material to make our grandbaby anything, I’ll, ah, wrap it up.” He shifted. “No charge. Get some dresses, too.”

“Thank you. That’s most generous.” Callie had no idea how she’d manage it, but somehow she’d find a way. “I’ll work here on Saturdays to repay you.”

“Nonsense. We want to help. We still have Martin’s crib, high chair, baby carriage. Dorothy saved everything he touched.”

Commodore’s effort to build a bridge between them softened Callie’s wariness. “I could put the crib in the small bedroom.”

His gaze hardened. “If you’d move in with us, we’d see to your and the baby’s every need.”

At the familiar argument, a constant sting between them, Callie sighed. Could she make Commodore understand? She had to try. She took a fortifying breath. “I need a place of my own to raise my child and make a life. Not to shut you and Dorothy out, but to have my own traditions, my own routines.”

“You can do all that at our place. Why are you being stubborn? You used to be reasonable, someone we could talk to.” He exhaled impatiently. “Why not be honest? All you can think about is housing that Langley girl.”

“That’s part of it, but not all. I wish you could understand.”

“I understand, all right.” He folded his arms across his barrel chest. “You’d rather remain in a house that caused Martin’s death than move in with us. My son would want you and his baby with us.”

As if Commodore had known Martin’s mind. They’d been at odds for years. Fighting to control her emotions, Callie inspected several baby things.

“Commodore, I appreciate your concern about the house, but I want to assure you I’ll be fine.” She forced a smile. “I know the house’s every flaw and will be careful.”

“I can’t stomach the sight of it.” Commodore’s tone was harsh, condemning. “If not for that eyesore, my son would be alive today, not laid out in Walnut Grove Cemetery. But no, you had to have this house. Nothing but that monstrosity would do.”

Callie wrapped her arms around herself. Did he blame the house for Martin’s death? Or was he dancing around the fact that he blamed her? “I’m heartsick about Martin’s fall, his death.” A sob tore from her throat. “But leaving my house won’t bring him back. Nothing we do will bring him back.”

Her nagging had cost Martin his life. If only Callie had asked someone with experience to replace the shingles, instead of fussing about the cost, about yet another bill they couldn’t pay.

Perhaps living with Martin’s parents would be her penance. But she couldn’t cope under Commodore’s accusing eyes. Decrepit or not, she had to keep the house, the one place where she felt at home. The one place she could recreate the family she’d lost.

And fulfill the promise she’d made to Nell. The promise she’d made to God to provide for unwed mothers.

“Commodore, please. Martin saw our home as a perfect place to raise our children.”

“It hardly makes sense for Dorothy and me to rattle around in that big house of ours, while your place drains you dry. From where I stand, you’re going to lose it anyway.”

His words tore through Callie and ricocheted in her chest. How would she provide for Elise and two babies, once they arrived? “I’ve got to go.” She whirled toward the door.

If God wanted her to give Elise a home and others like her, He’d show her a way to handle the expense, just as He’d brought her a carpenter to make the repairs.

It would all work out.

She was sure of it.