Читать книгу A Message for Abby - Janice Johnson Kay - Страница 7
ОглавлениеCHAPTER TWO
BEN SLOUCHED IN HIS CHAIR and propped his feet on his desk, crossing them at the ankles. A swallow of coffee woke him up, the acid burning another millimeter of tissue on the ulcer he felt forming. His imagination, the doctor said. The doctor golfed on Sundays. He didn’t look at dead bodies.
Holding up Abby Patton’s business card, Ben dialed. Though her voice mail wasn’t what he had in mind, he left a message. Her card included a cell phone number, so he tried that.
She answered brusquely on the second ring. “Patton here.”
“Detective Ben Shea.”
“Shea.” She sounded...something. He couldn’t put his finger on what. Not neutral. Not surprised. But a quiver of some emotion had briefly changed the timbre of her voice.
He was hoping it meant that she was pleased to hear from him. Unfortunately, there was another possibility, which was that she’d disliked him from the get-go.
Ben chose to be an optimist.
“News?” she asked.
A direct man, he got right to it. Business first. “That blood came from a deer.”
“What?” she exclaimed.
“The kind with horns and a hide,” Ben elaborated helpfully.
After a long silence Abby Patton said, “I wish I could look on that as good news.”
He turned his head to gaze, unseeing, through the slanted blinds at the parking lot. “You want my opinion?”
“Yeah.”
“It is good in that I don’t have another murder to investigate. But for you personally...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I’d say this makes it even more likely that coincidence didn’t play a part in your discovery yesterday.”
“He had those windows rolled up on purpose. So the fire wouldn’t get very far. So I’d be sure to see the blood.”
“That’s my guess.”
Again she was silent.
“No fingerprints on the door handles, steering wheel, emergency brake... The ones we found were in spots he didn’t wipe clean. My bet is, they’re old.”
“Did you run the VIN?”
“Yup. It isn’t your father’s pickup. This one was sold by a rancher up in the Dalles a year ago to a—” he glanced down at his notes “—Julia Carvenas. She reported it stolen a week ago.”
“Did you check her out?”
“I can’t see any connection to Elk Springs.”
“Horses? You know my brother-in-law—”
“No horses,” Ben interrupted. “I asked. She runs a landscape business.”
“Then this is a dead end.” Dismay sounded, clear as the cry of a hunted animal.
Abby Patton had struck him as a supremely poised woman. She’d been a firefighter; now she’d added the training to make her a cop. He wondered when was the last time she’d felt any emotion approaching fear.
He kept his gruff voice low and soothing. “I’ll be talking to the teenagers who discovered the fire. I’ll go door-to-door at the houses on the outskirts. See if anybody noticed the pickup passing. I’d like to know how the perp got back to town.”
“Motorcycle?” she suggested. “He could have carried it in the bed of the truck.”
Okay, so she was sharp. Ben didn’t know why that surprised him, even faintly. Yeah, she was a leggy blond beauty with sky-blue eyes, Hollywood’s stereotype of a bimbo, but so was her sister. And he’d long ago learned that Meg Patton was smart and tough, a cop first and a woman second. Hell, their sister Renee, just as pretty and blond, was about to be sworn in as the new Elk Springs police chief.
“Motorcycle’s my guess, too,” Ben said. “Usually loners are the ones who do something so...” Not wanting to alarm her, he hesitated.
“Warped?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”
“I would,” she said, blunt enough to satisfy him, before she added dismissively, “Thanks, Shea. Let me know if you learn anything further.”
“Wait.” Okay, where had that little spurt of panic come from? So what if she hung up—he could call her back. He knew where to find her.
“You have something else?” she asked, her surprise edged with curiosity.
This should be easy. He’d thought about it all day. She was a foxy woman; he knew from Meg that Abby wasn’t dating anybody seriously.
So why did he put his feet on the floor and sit up straight as if for inspection before he could spit out his question?
“Any chance you’d like to have dinner?”
“Dinner?”
She didn’t have to sound as if he’d suggested bungee jumping naked, thought Ben, stung.
Nonetheless he said doggedly, “Yeah. We could maybe talk this over. Uh... Get to know each other.”smooth. Real smooth.
“As in a date.”
Goddamn it. There she went again, making him feel small.
“That such an outlandish idea?” he asked, his voice edgy.
He could feel her thinking in the moment of silence that followed.
“No,” she said finally. “I don’t usually date cops, is all.”
“There some reason?”
“We’re just...too much alike. We have too much on our minds. I like to have fun. Lighten up. You know?”
“I can have fun,” he said defensively, knowing it was a lie. Yeah, okay; sure he enjoyed himself sometimes. But fun? The way she meant? Probably not. He didn’t drink, hated loud music and detested parties. “We don’t have to talk about work,” he added.
“Dinner.” She sounded cautious. Wheels were turning in her head; he could damn near hear the clatter.
“How about tonight?” Ben asked.
“I’m going to Renee’s tonight. We’re having a war council. So to speak.” She paused. “If you want to come...”
What did this mean? She went from telling him he might not be fun enough to taking him home to meet her family?
“I don’t want to intrude...”
“No, you might have something useful to offer. Daniel’s the one who wants to talk this out.” She sounded mildly impatient. “He’d be glad to have you.”
“What about you?” Ben asked. “Would you be glad to have me?”
“To dinner?” She paused just long enough to be sure he got the point—no innuendos allowed. “Why not?”
He knew where the Triple B was. She suggested they meet there, which he accepted without argument. Most women liked to drive themselves on first dates. She wouldn’t be stuck with fending him off on the doorstep if she came to the conclusion that this had been a mistake.
Hanging up the phone, Ben wasn’t sure how to feel about this evening. Hell, he didn’t know whether it was a working dinner or a date.
He did know he wasn’t used to being rejected. I don’t usually date cops, she’d said, as if he’d crawled out from under a rock.
He wouldn’t take it personally, Ben decided. Maybe she got hit on all the time down at the station. Given her looks, she probably did.
Funny, when he thought about it, because it wasn’t her glorious legs or lush mouth or tangle of honey-blond hair that had gotten to him—although he’d noticed them, he couldn’t deny it. But he didn’t ask out every beautiful woman he met, either. And normally her princess act would have turned him off. A man couldn’t warm his hands on a chilly woman.
But he’d seen something in Abby Patton’s eyes. Something defensive, even scared. Her defiance was a cover-up, he thought, for a woman who didn’t want to admit she was lonely.
And if he was wrong—well, maybe he, too, would be glad they were going their separate ways tonight.
TIRES CRUNCHING on the red cinder lane, Ben drove past the turnoff to the handsome new home that crowned the ridge above the Triple B barns and the pastures, improbably green from irrigation in the midst of brown, high mountain desert country at midsummer. Fences enclosing pastures, paddocks and two outdoor arenas sparkled with fresh white paint. The place was prosperous, the horses and cattle he could see at a distance glossy.
Someone was working a cutting horse in the nearer arena. More like going along for the ride. The horse seemed to be doing the thinking. He was separating one steer from a clump of six or eight, anticipating the poor dumb cow’s every dodge, moving so surely, so quickly and fluidly, it was pure poetry.
Ben had never been out here, but he’d heard stories about the ranch: the senile old man—Daniel’s grandfather—wandering out into the wintry night, his body never found; Daniel’s father dying when he got thrown into a fence post; and finally the human skull brought home by a dog.
Now this.
On the way to the Patton family war council, Ben had decided on a minor detour. He wanted to see for himself how hard it would have been for a thief to slip into Shirley Barnard’s garage to steal the license plates from her car.
The guy sure as hell couldn’t have driven right by in broad daylight. Before Ben reached the first barn, two men stepped out, looking toward him.
He pulled to a stop, set the brake and turned off the engine. Between barns, he saw a young cowboy walking a horse with sweat-soaked flanks. In the aisle of the barn, another horse—this one a fiery red—was cross-tied and being shod, from the sound of metal ringing out.
Ben got out of his car and nodded at the two men waiting. “Good day.”
“Can we help you?” one asked.
“I’m with the sheriff’s department. Detective Ben Shea.” Ben showed his badge. “And you are?”
“Lee LaRoche.” The taller and older of the two tipped back his Stetson. “I’m a trainer.”
“Jim Cronin.” The younger guy couldn’t be much over twenty-five. Stocky and strong, he wore the ranch uniform: dusty denim, worn cowboy boots, white T-shirt and buff-brown Stetson. “I just work here.”
Ben nodded. “You two fellows know about the break-in at Mrs. Barnard’s?”
“You mean, her garage?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Hell of a thing.” The trainer shook his head. “Shirley wouldn’t hurt a fly. Why would someone go picking on her like that?”
“Maybe just to show he could.” Ben watched the two carefully; saw nothing but perplexity and mild curiosity about why a Butte County detective was out here questioning them about such a minor crime. “I just thought I’d find out whether someone could go right on down there without being noticed.”
“Not in a car.” LaRoche sounded sure. “We don’t get much traffic out here. Someone’s coming right now.” He nodded past Ben toward the main road leading from Butte Road and the Triple B gates onto the ranch.
Ben turned. A plume of lava red dust rose like the spray behind a hydroplane. That nice shiny 4x4 was going to need a bath.
Like his own car, he realized ruefully.
LaRoche continued. “Especially at this time of year, we have plenty of warning. Somebody always pokes a head out to see who’s come calling.”
“What about at night? With Mrs. Barnard away?”
“I live there.” The lanky older man pointed to a small white-painted cottage in the cottonwoods beside the creek. “Some of the hands have places in town, but a couple room in the bunkhouse. Cronin here’s one of ‘em.”
The young ranch hand scratched his chin. “Well, I won’t say if we’d heard a car we would have fallen over our feet rushing out to see who was here. But we’d have most likely glanced out. Mrs. Barnard don’t get that many folks coming by, and Lee’s place is the only other one on down the road.”
“But he could have parked a ways back and walked.”
Lee LaRoche slowly took off his hat and ran a hand through sweat-streaked hair. “Well, now. Sure. I suppose so. ’Course, if someone had come along he wouldn’t have had anyplace to hide. With no trees till you get down to the creek. And his car would’ve stuck out like a palomino in a herd of bays. Say, if Daniel or Renee had come or gone. But at, oh, three, four in the morning... Sure.”
He sent Cronin with Ben to check out the garage itself. The structure was detached from the original farmhouse where Daniel Barnard’s mother still lived. Through a small dusty window, Ben could see the blue sedan. The lock on the side door was one of those push-button models, not a dead bolt. Anyone good with a paperclip could have gotten in. The main door, the cowboy told him, had an automatic opener.
“So Mrs. Barnard can drive straight on in, like in the winter. Daniel installed it himself.”
“How long have you worked here?” Ben asked idly.
“Only about a year.” Jim Cronin’s face was boyish, despite the beginnings of lines at the corners of his hazel eyes. “I like to move around. See the country.”
Not so different from the ski bums who operated lifts up at Juanita Butte, or the temporary crews that fought fires in the dry woods every summer.
“Barnard good to work for?” Ben asked.
“The best,” the man said simply. “Cutting horses bred and taught their tricks here are in the top ten every year. I’d like to train horses, not just ride ‘em and muck up after ’em. This is the place to learn.”
The two men walked back to the barn where Ben had left his car. Ben thanked Jim Cronin for his time and watched him disappear into the barn. Well down the aisle, Lee LaRoche appeared briefly, looking Ben’s way. When his gaze met Ben’s, he tipped his hat and faded back into the shadowy interior of the huge barn. Had he been watching for Ben? Making sure Cronin went right back to work?
Ben paused before getting behind the wheel of his car. He liked to take in his surroundings, soak them up as he did the sun’s midday warmth in winter. It never paid to be hasty, he’d found; he learned things on a subliminal level if he allowed time.
Giving him curious glances and civil nods, a man and a woman rode by. The horses ambled, heads down, sweat darkening shoulders and flanks. Tiny puffs of dust bloomed beneath their hooves. Reins lay slack against the dark shiny necks.
Car door open, Ben watched them go, the horses both possessing the powerful, chunky hindquarters of the quarter horse breed, the two riders swaying easily in the Western saddles. Two barns away, a mare and foal were being loaded into a fancy-looking trailer. The foal didn’t want to go, and kept shying away at the last minute, skinny legs flying. The men doing the loading were patient, giving the skittish colt time to settle down. In the arena, a different horse was being worked now. A gray-haired man with a skinny butt sat on the fence watching, heels hooked over a rail.
Busy place, this. An unlikely choice to burglarize. No, someone had wanted to send a message: I can get at you anywhere.
More than the blood or the stolen pickup truck, the license plates lifted from Shirley Barnard’s car were what worried Ben. The message was not a comforting one.
And he had to believe, it wouldn’t be the last.
Ben slid in behind the wheel and slammed his car door. Time to be getting up to Daniel Barnard’s place, before Abby started to worry about his absence.
In your dreams, he jeered, and started the car.
THE LAST TO SIT DOWN, Abby scooted her chair forward and braced herself for an in-depth analysis of the arson fire set in the pickup truck.
In his paternalistic mode, Daniel Barnard looked around the table with an air of quiet satisfaction. The troops were gathered. Even Will, Meg’s sixteen-year-old son, had been allowed to stay. Only Emily, Meg’s three-year-old adopted daughter wasn’t at the table; Meg had settled her in the living room where she was out of earshot but in sight, happily occupied with a pile of blocks and half a dozen puzzles.
Meg had even wanted to invite Jack Murray, her former lover and Will’s father. “This concerns Will,” she’d said. “Which means it concerns Jack.”
Abby had gently discouraged her sister. There were things Meg didn’t know. Jack was just as uncomfortable with Abby as she was around him.
Both did their best to encounter each other as seldom as possible.
Now, Daniel’s survey of the family complete, Abby’s brother-in-law nodded toward Shea. “Good of you to come, Ben.”
The detective inclined his head. “Abby suggested it.”
Beside him, Abby said nothing. She wasn’t about to admit that she hadn’t invited him as the investigating officer, that in fact this was a trial run for a real date. That she was trying to decide whether her original assessment of Ben Shea was accurate.
Could she have a good time with the guy? Or would he be getting serious before he broke off the first kiss?
Really, it would be too bad if she had to tell him to get lost before that kiss. Darned if he didn’t look even better out of uniform than he did in. Faded jeans hugged long, powerful muscles in his thighs. A sage-green T-shirt got just as familiar with the planes of his chest and solid biceps. Nice neck, too, Abby thought, sneaking a glance. Tanned, smooth, strong without being bullish. Assertive jaw, sexy mouth, icy clear eyes, and cheekbones prominent enough to cast shadows on his clean-shaven cheeks.
Kissing him would be fine. Better than fine, she suspected. Maybe too fine, which was her biggest fear. Only once had she come close to falling in love, and what a mistake that had been! Jack Murray had been using her. She’d been barely out of high school, but she had spent years seething at the knowledge that she’d been a Meg substitute.
No, once was enough. Giving a man the upper hand—that was scary stuff. She didn’t need it.
“Abby?”
She started, to find that her entire family—and Ben—were staring at her.
“What?” she said.
Daniel lifted his brows in that way he had. “Why don’t you get this rolling? Tell us what you found.”
“And make it snappy.” Renee chimed in. “The turkey breast is coming out of the oven in fifteen minutes, whether we’re done talking or not.”
“Well, I don’t know what you think this will accomplish, but here goes.” Succinctly, Abby described the pickup, the lack of fingerprints, the blood and the short-lived fire.
“Maybe this guy was just dumb,” suggested Scott McNeil, Meg’s big auburn-haired husband. General manager of the ski area, he knew the great American public. “Believe me, dumb is not uncommon.”
“But why would he set a fire to burn up upholstery soaked with deer blood?” Meg asked, lines of worry puckering her forehead. She sat with her hands splayed on her belly, swollen with a baby due in a few weeks.
Daniel leaned forward. “Maybe because he took it out of season. He was afraid somebody would see the deer if he slung it in the bed of the pickup.”
“He could have just put a tarp over it,” Renee said. “Plastic garbage sacks. Anyway, the truck was stolen. He was abandoning it. Why bother with the fire?”
Forestalling Abby, Ben raised his voice. “You’re missing the point. None of this was casual. Whoever this guy is, he worked hard to get his hands on those license plates. There had to be a reason for that. A message. He’s saying, ‘See how easy I can get to you?’ And when part of that message is a whole hell of a lot of blood, I’d have to take that as a threat. Unless anybody has a better idea.”
No one did. He’d silenced them. They’d wanted to believe there might be logical explanations for what Abby had found yesterday—explanations that had nothing to do with the Barnard or Patton families. But Abby agreed with Ben: why waste time and hope?
A muscle jumping in his cheek, Daniel spoke up. “I talked to my mother again. With one exception, she’s never had an enemy. Some of you know she was raped years ago by a ranch hand.”
Will jerked. Obviously he hadn’t known. “Aunt Shirley was raped?”
His mother touched his arm. “Pretty crummy. huh?”
Looking disconcertingly like Jack, Will frowned. “But why didn’t I know?”
“Because it was her right to tell people or not,” Meg said gently.
“Oh.” The tangled emotions of a teenager flitted across his face, but at last he nodded.
Daniel continued. “Dad beat the crap out of the guy and threw him off the place. Mom didn’t want to testify. When this came out three years ago, we found out the bastard is in the Washington State penitentiary at Walla Walla for another rape. After you called yesterday—” he looked at Abby “—I had Renee check on him. Harris. Theon Josiah Harris. He’s out. They released him a year ago.”
“But what’s the connection? It doesn’t make sense,” Renee said persuasively. “Shirley didn’t prosecute. Why would he come back? He has nothing to get revenge for.”
Ben propped his elbows on the table. “Unless this guy has some reason to think she tried to get him. Maybe influenced a judge to give him the top end of the sentencing range.”
Will, with the gruff voice of a man, said, “But if Aunt Shirley never told anyone...”
No wonder he didn’t sound like a kid! Abby thought. Will Patton was used to cop talk. Murder and rape weren’t big-screen fun and games to this kid.
His mother shook her head. “Let’s face it, none of this is exactly sane. Going to all the trouble to steal those license plates out of a locked garage here on the ranch, then killing a deer just for the blood... Things fester, when someone is in prison long enough.”
“I don’t believe this has anything to do with Shirley.” Abby hated to be the one to remind them, but somebody had to. “This guy may have gone to a lot of trouble to steal the plates off her car, but that was nothing compared to finding a pickup that looked exactly like Daddy’s and stealing it.”
“That could be coincidence,” Renee said, but her voice held no conviction.
Abby shook her head, but said no more. What was the point?
Emily abandoned her puzzles, pieces scattered all over the floor, and trotted into the dining room. “Mama! I wanna sit on your lap.”
Meg gave her a distracted smile. “Sure, punkin, but I don’t have very much lap right now.”
“Why don’t you come and sit on Daddy’s?” Scott pushed back from the table and lifted the little girl into the air. Over her happy squeal, he said, “Seems to me we can’t do anything just yet except be extra careful.”
“Maybe nothing will come of this.” Meg almost sounded convinced.
Abby could hardly believe big sister Meg, the cop, could sound so foolishly optimistic. The bad guys would all go away. Why worry?
Was it marriage or pregnancy that had blunted her wary intelligence?
“Ben’s still hoping to find an eyewitness,” Abby said.
“Nobody is invisible,” Shea commented. “I might get lucky.”
A few nods all around, and Renee said, “If you’ll all excuse me, I’d better work on dinner.”
Abby stood, too, shaking her head at her older sister who was making “getting up” motions. “No, you stay put, Meg. Watching you on your feet makes me tired. I’ll help Renee.”
In the kitchen, Renee turned on the burner under a pan of green beans. “What’s the point of a threat if someone doesn’t understand it?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Abby said with a sigh. “These rolls go in the oven?” At her sister’s nod, she ran cold water over the paper bag. “Maybe one of us is supposed to understand the threat. You ever arrested anyone for something having to do with blood on the seat or...” Knowing even that much sounded weak, she ran out of ideas. “Heck, maybe he’s a poacher who’s just trying to tell us he can kill a deer anytime he wants.”
“With my mother-in-law’s license plates on the pickup he stole up in the Dalles just so he could abandon it here?”
“Maybe it broke down.” Now she was the one trying to find an out, Abby thought ruefully.
“Oh, jeez.” Oven mitt dangling from her hand, Renee looked at her sister. “It’s all too tangled, isn’t it? Too...purposeful.”
“Yeah.” Abby stirred the green beans unnecessarily. “But what’s the purpose?”
Her sister actually shivered. “I don’t know. I don’t think I want to know.”
Abby rubbed the goose bumps on her own forearms. “Worse yet is the fact that we’re going to have to find out. One way or the other.”
Renee didn’t answer. She removed the turkey breast from the oven, popped the bag of rolls in, and took up the carving knife.
“I don’t see how Meg can have three weeks to go,” she said as if they’d been discussing their older sister all along. “I wish the doctor had done an ultrasound.”
“You’re not thinking twins?” Abby asked, shocked out of her absorption in the case.
“She’s awfully big.”
“Wouldn’t the doctor have noticed two heartbeats?”
“I don’t know.” Renee fretted. “But take a look at her.”
“Maybe they got the due date wrong.” There she went again; little Miss Pollyanna, smoothing away any difficulty.
“The doctor should know,” Renee said fiercely. “I just worry Meg’s not getting the care she should be.”
“Have you heard anything bad about Dr. Kennedy?”
“No-o.”
Then it came to Abby; she looked closely at her sister. “You’re just scared, aren’t you? It’s not as if having twins would be the end of the world for Meg. I mean, maybe she couldn’t go back to work, but she’s pretty much into this motherhood thing right now, anyway.” What the mysterious attraction was, Abby didn’t get. Emily was cute, sure, but her squall when she was tired made Abby think of fingernails maliciously drawn down a blackboard. But they weren’t talking about her, thank God. Dragging herself back to the point, Abby accused, “You’re afraid of losing her again.”
To her astonishment, Renee burst into tears. “Meg’s just so tired!” she wailed.
Abby gently took the carving knife from her sister’s hand, set it on the countertop and wrapped her in a hug. “Hey, what’s the deal?”
“I always said I’d make chief, and now I have, but I’d rather be pregnant!” Renee pulled back to show a pathetic, blotched face. “I want it so bad, but then sometimes I look at Meg and wonder if I really do, and if something happens to her I’ll be too scared ever to have a baby of my own! So really I’m self ish!”
Okay.
“Renee,” Abby said carefully, “you’re acting really weird. You know that, don’t you?”
A sniff and a nod were her answer; Renee had buried her face in a dishtowel, using it as a giant hankie.
“PMS?” Out of nowhere, a thought zapped Abby. “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”
“What?” Renee whipped the dishtowel from her face.
“You heard me.”
“I...” She blinked. Blinked again. “It must be PMS. You know I get cranky.”
“But not deranged,” Abby gently suggested. “When are you due?”
“Due? Meg’s the one... Oh. You mean...” Her brow furrowed. “I don’t keep track. It just... comes.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I guess it’s been a while.” Renee’s green-gold eyes widened. “Ohmygod. What if I’m pregnant?”
“You celebrate?”
“I’m being sworn in two weeks from tomorrow!”
“Surely you wouldn’t be the first police chief in America who was pregnant.”
“Most of them are still men.” That dry comment sounded more like Abby’s big—well, middle sister.
“Buy one of those home pregnancy tests,” Abby advised. “In the meantime, I’ll carve the turkey. You go do something to your face.”
Renee squeaked at the sight of herself reflected in the door of the top oven. “I promise. I’ll be right back!”
Shaking her head, Abby picked up the knife.
“Want me to do that?”
The deep voice came from so close behind her, she was the one to squeak and jump this time. Wheeling around, she pressed a hand to her chest. “You scared the daylights out of me!”
“Sorry.” Ben Shea lifted one dark brow as smoothly as Daniel did. It gave Ben’s face a saturnine look. “Just thought I’d offer to help.”
Crowd me, you mean, she thought unkindly. But this was her fault; she’d encouraged him by inviting him tonight. No surprise he didn’t want to be abandoned to her family.
“Here. You carve the turkey.” She set down the knife instead of handing it to him. “Renee didn’t feel good for a minute. I’ll see if the rolls are hot, figure out what else she was going to feed us.”
“All right,” Ben said agreeably.
A potato salad and a fruit salad were ready in the refrigerator. All Abby had to do was peel back the plastic wrap and stick in serving spoons.
She carried them out to the dining room, tickled Emily who giggled gratifyingly, and went back to the kitchen. Intent on his job, Ben barely glanced up.
“That wasn’t you crying, was it?”
“You heard...” She stopped. “I don’t cry.”
“You don’t cry.”
“That’s what I said.”
He looked her over with the same curiosity and lack of emotion he’d shown toward the bloody cab of the pickup. “You figure men don’t cry, so you shouldn’t, either?”
“I don’t care what men do,” Abby said shortly.
“As long as they’re fun.”
She lifted her chin a notch. “And it’s fun I can live without if I have to.”
He shook his head and went back to carving. “You got a real healthy attitude.”
Oh, yeah, he’s going to kiss you good-night now.
“You want a healthy attitude, don’t ask out another cop. Try the clerk at the health food store.”
“Very funny.”
What on earth was wrong with her? Ben Shea was nice; he was gorgeous; he was unmarried. Vouched for by her sister. She should be batting her eyelashes, not being as disagreeable as a streetwalker about to be booked.
Oh, good analogy, she told herself.
He studied her with those penetrating eyes. “When’s the last time you cried?”
“I don’t know. Years.”
He muttered a profanity. “Are you armor-plated? How can you help but cry sometimes?”
She froze in the act of taking the hot bag of rolls from the oven. “You cry?”
He wanted his shrug to look careless, she could tell. “Sometimes. Like just a couple of weeks ago. This guy killed his wife and two-year-old daughter, then swallowed the gun himself. It was seeing that kid...” His body jerked, and then his eyes shuttered and he went back to carving turkey. “I did my job, but when I got home, I cried. I’m not afraid to admit it.”
Her back to him, Abby dropped the crisp, hot paper bag on the counter. Cops and firefighters didn’t often confess to that kind of weakness—for so it would be considered in the station house. Maybe he’d done it to test her—to see how deep she went Maybe he was a sensitive kind of guy who liked talking about feelings.
Or maybe the sight of the dead child had eaten at his soul until he had to tell someone the horror, and she was just the lucky nominee. Whatever his reason for talking so frankly, she knew she couldn’t blow him off.
Past a sudden lump in her throat, she said abruptly, “It was two years ago. The last time I cried.” She wouldn’t look at him. “House fire. We found these kids, all under the bed. Like they were hiding from an intruder. But you can’t hide from fire, or smoke. They looked...like dolls. Waxy and stiff. The fire had been set. Mama had dumped her boyfriend, and he was pissed. Didn’t even get Mama. She’d left her three children, all under five, alone while she worked a graveyard shift cleaning an office building. After that night I decided to become an investigator. Putting out the fire isn’t enough anymore.”
Whether the tears had been cause or effect, she didn’t know. Maybe she’d become an investigator because she didn’t want to cry anymore, not to right wrongs. How could anyone judge her own motives?
All Abby knew was, she’d hidden under the bed more than once, small and scared.
And crying made her feel weak. A big girl now, she allowed no weakness.
“Shedding some tears helped,” Ben said. “I felt better.”
Abby dumped the rolls into a basket. “I didn’t.”
His hand shot out to stop her as she passed to return to the dining room. “Are you as tough as you sound, Abby Patton?”
Tough was her private ideal, not her public image. Tough was the shield she wore like a bulletproof vest—it would keep you alive only if no one noticed you were wearing it. Because if they did, they might shoot you in the head.
Letting someone—this man—see that tough outer shield might put her in danger.
So she batted her eyes, smiled slow and mysterious, and said, light and flirty, “Oh, I don’t know if tough’s the first word I associate with myself. What do you think, Detective Shea?”
Eyes narrowed, he let her go. “What I think is, finding out might be fun. And that’s important, right? Having fun?”
She had to work at making her smile saucy. “Oh, number one. Absolutely.” She could sound blithe, unconcerned. “Why don’t we go dancing after this?” Somewhere, she thought, with really loud music. Somewhere they couldn’t talk.
“Why don’t we,” he said. “Something tells me you’ll know just the place.”
