Читать книгу One Frosty Night - Janice Kay Johnson - Страница 10
ОглавлениеSNIPPETS OF CONVERSATION from surrounding tables in Guido’s Italian Ristorante came to Olivia Bowen as she waited to find out why her mother had wanted to have lunch with her.
Lunch out, when they’d sat at the breakfast table this morning without exchanging a single word. Dinner last night, too, without anything important being said. And, yes, status quo the day before that. They were living in the same house, and she had been trying to get her mother to talk to her for weeks. Months.
“...can’t believe a film crew was here again.” Arnold Hawkins, his self-important voice unmistakable.
“...don’t understand why the police...” A woman’s voice.
“At least, thanks to this town, she has a respectable resting place.” Claudia Neff, an insurance agent. Also sounding smug.
Olivia was glad the town of Crescent Creek had cared enough to raise the money to bury the still-unidentified girl found dead in the woods. She just wished they’d been motivated by genuine philanthropy rather than the self-conscious awareness that they were acting on a world stage for the first time in their lives. The mystery of the girl who had seemingly appeared from nowhere, died for no apparent reason and been buried by a community of people who had tenderly taken her to their collective hearts was still an internet sensation.
Jane Doe’s death was a watershed for this town, one that made Olivia uneasy more than anything.
Maybe because her father had died only a month later, as if—
There was no as if, she told herself firmly. What possible connection could there be? They all knew Dad’s heart had been damaged by the first attack. It had only been a matter of time. She’d come home to Crescent Creek to take over Dad’s hardware store and lumberyard to give him peace and to spend time with him.
Listening to the receding footsteps of the waitress who had taken their order, Olivia decided she’d been patient enough.
“So, what’s up?” she asked, looking questioningly at her mom.
Marian Bowen’s mouth firmed and her eyes met Olivia’s. “I’ve decided to sell the house.”
Olivia gaped. “Dad hasn’t even been dead two weeks.” Or in the ground for one. They had buried Charles Bowen on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, and today was only Thursday.
“I know what I want to do, Livy. Please don’t argue.”
“But...it’s home.”
Her mother’s face softened. “I know it was. But that doesn’t mean I have to stay in it for the rest of my life.”
“You know it’s too soon to be making decisions that big.”
“I can’t stay there. I won’t.”
The misery that had been balled in Olivia’s chest for three months now—the same three months when she had seen her parents’ marriage failing—intensified into active pain. “Mom, what’s wrong? Please tell me.”
“Nothing’s wrong that you need to know about. I’m a widow now, and I’m ready to downsize. Is that so bad?”
“But...where will you go?”
“I’m considering a house at The Crescent.”
The Crescent was a new and very nice senior citizen housing development. Technically, they were condominiums with the outside maintenance handled by the association. Olivia had been surprised to see anything like that in Crescent Creek, a small town nestled deep in the Cascade Mountain foothills, but the homes seemed to be getting snapped up as fast as they were built. Lloyd Smith, who managed the lumberyard side of the Bowens’ business, had even mentioned that his wife wanted him to take a look at them.
If Mom had suggested the move six months from now, Olivia might have thought it was a good idea. But as it was—the decision had been made purely out of anger, not practicality. Her husband had died before she could leave him, but she was determined to go through with it one way or another.What’s more, it occurred to Olivia that this felt an awful lot like receiving an eviction notice, given that she lived in the family home right now, too.
“Does that mean you intend to sell the business, too?” she asked. The one she’d thrown herself heart and soul into revitalizing?
“I don’t know. I can’t expect you to run it forever.”
“Apparently you have made up your mind.”
“You sound mad.”
“A little taken aback,” she said truthfully. “When do you want me to move out?”
Her mother’s expression changed, showing a hint of shock and some vulnerability. “But...you know it’s going to take time to make decisions about everything we have. I hoped you’d be willing to help.”
This had been a really lousy few months. Mom and Dad suddenly, overnight, refusing to talk to each other. The house seething with everything they wouldn’t say aloud, at least within Olivia’s hearing. Dad’s face, tinted blue. The oxygen tank kept beside the big chair in the den. The slow way he moved, struggling for breath. The shock of Marsha Connelly finding a teenage girl frozen to death in the woods. Dad insisting on going to the funeral despite his fragile health. Mom’s angry absence obvious to anyone paying attention.
And then Olivia waking up in the morning to her mother telling her Dad had died sometime in the night. Mom didn’t know when, because she had been sleeping in the guest bedroom, which meant he’d been alone.
Another funeral, held only eight days later.
Olivia had been hanging on by her fingernails since.
Those same fingernails were biting into her thighs right now. Yes, Mom, I am mad.
“I don’t know what to say.” She sounded a thousand times calmer than she felt. “You’ve hardly spoken to me in weeks. You don’t care about the business. I’m not so sure you care about Dad dying. Now you’re rejecting everything that represents our family and my childhood.” She blew out a breath. “What do you expect me to say? Gee, Mom, that sounds like fun. Let’s dig right in. How about a garage sale? Ooh, I love garage sales.”
Marian Bowen sat so utterly still, she looked like a wax effigy. Only her eyes were alive, with a whole lot more than a hint of shock now. Apparently Olivia had betrayed more of her own pain and anger than she’d realized. In fact, out of the corner of her eyes she could see that other diners had turned to look. And, oh God, the waitress was bearing down on them with a tray holding their entrees. Bad time to jump up and say, “I’m not in the mood for lunch.”
Instead she kept her mouth shut until the waitress had come and gone again, probably wondering why neither woman so much as glanced at her, forget thanking her.
Then she said, “We need to talk about this later,” and reached for her fork. She wasn’t sure she could so much as put a bite in her mouth, but she could pretend.
* * *
BEN HOVIK DIDN’T know what had possessed him to take a long detour by the cemetery.
Until a few weeks ago, he hadn’t given it a thought. Growing up in Crescent Creek, he’d been as oblivious as any child was to the reality of death. Yeah, Grandma Everson was buried there, but he hardly remembered her. However, after the two recent funerals, the cemetery held a grim fascination to him.
He felt good about the first funeral. Not the death, of course, because that still left him stunned. How was it possible that a kid no more than sixteen had been too sick or injured or just plain scared to seek help on a freezing cold night? Why had she wandered so far into the woods, lacking even a coat? Then just lay down and died, like an animal that had lost hope?
And how was it that a girl that age could go missing with, apparently, no one who cared enough to be looking for her? The police had been unable to identify her, despite nationwide interest in her life and death. She was entered in missing persons databases that could be accessed by law enforcement from any agency. A drawing of her face had appeared in newspapers, on Seattle television news and even on the internet. There’d been calls, tips; none led anywhere.
The fact that the community had come together to pay for her burial was the part he did feel good about. It saddened him that she’d become theirs too late, when all they could do for her was give her a headstone, but at least they’d done that much.
Having Charles Bowen die so soon after Jane Doe, that hit hard, too. Ben had gone to his funeral because he’d known Mr. Bowen his whole life and had once loved Olivia Bowen. It had been all he could do to see her grief and not be able to do more than shake her hand at the end of the service and murmur condolences, the same way everyone else was. To see how blindly she looked at him, as if he were a stranger.
That was the moment when he’d given up.
His decision to apply for the job of principal at Crescent Creek High School, a return to his hometown, had awakened the seed of hope that he would see Olivia. That maybe they could reconnect.
The first time he saw her after the gap of years had been like a hard punch to his belly. She was only home on a brief visit that time, but she must have gone into work with her dad, because when Ben walked into the hardware store, Olivia was mixing paint and laughing at something a customer said. And, damn, she was even more beautiful than she’d been when he’d so stupidly broken up with her. At five foot ten, Olivia had gotten her height from her dad. That and her natural grace had made her a star on the girl’s basketball team in their small high school league. She still had the most amazing legs he’d ever seen—long, slim, but strong. And, man, he knew what it felt like to have those legs wrapped around his waist.
Thick, shimmering hair the color of melted caramel was from her mother, as were those hazel eyes, a complex of colors that changed depending on the light or what she was wearing.
He had stood, stupefied, a few feet inside the hardware store, seeing only her. Inevitably, she’d turned and seen him. Her eyes had widened; there had been a flash of something remarkably intense, then...nothing but a pleasant, slightly puzzled smile. “Ben. Goodness. It’s been forever. Do you need some help?”
Whatever that intense something was had kept his hope alive, even though she wasn’t receptive on the few occasions he managed to meet up with her during her visits home. When she had moved in with her parents ten months ago, to take over her dad’s business, he’d thought, Now I have a chance.
But apparently he’d been fooling himself, because she kept treating him like the merest acquaintance, not someone who’d once been a friend, never mind her high school boyfriend and first lover.
His fault, he knew, but still he kept thinking—
Didn’t matter. It was time he quit thinking about Olivia. Unless he wanted to spend the rest of his life alone, maybe he should start noticing other women. Much to his mother’s dismay, he hadn’t so much as gone on a date in the two and a half years since he’d come home to Crescent Creek with his stepson.
I should change that.
He gave a grunt of unhappiness and took one more look at the cemetery in his rearview mirror. A fresh bed of snow covered the graves, new and old. Only the headstones showed. The one he pictured most vividly said, “Jane Doe, Much Mourned,” and gave the date of the girl’s death.
Usually he ate at his desk or in the cafeteria with the kids. The one student he stayed far away from was his stepson. Most students likely knew Carson’s dad was principal, but the two didn’t share a last name, and Ben figured it was just as well not to remind anyone. Today Ben had felt the need to get away. Ever since Marsha Connelly had found the girl dead, he’d felt unsettled. No, that was putting it too mildly. He’d felt a gathering sense of foreboding, as if the one tragedy was a harbinger of worse to come. His worry increased with the second death following so soon, even if it was unrelated. He didn’t like the atmosphere at school. Sure, he’d expect kids to be disturbed about the death of a girl their age, but— This felt like more. Not whispers, he wasn’t hearing those. More like silence, unnatural for hormone-driven teenagers. Especially such sustained silence.
He frowned. Foreboding?
Slowing when he reached downtown, he thought with near amusement, Right. He was dramatizing his own depression. Call a spade a spade.
And then, right in front of him, he saw Olivia and her mother come out of Guido’s, the town’s one Italian restaurant. His foot lifted from the gas. The hesitation was enough to make him miss the light, which allowed him to watch mother and daughter walk side by side for a block without speaking, if he wasn’t mistaken. Both backs were stiff. They stayed a good two feet apart, careful never to so much as brush arms. Then they parted, with Marian Bowen looking both ways and crossing the street to her car, while Olivia continued on toward her father’s hardware store.
No, her mother’s store now, he supposed.
And there was a parking spot a half a block from the store. It was meant— He put on his signal, pulled into it and jumped out, his timing perfect to intercept Olivia.
Well, shit. Maybe he hadn’t given up hope after all.
* * *
HEAD BENT, SHE walked fast. Her eyes burned, and she thought seriously about not going back to work at all. Except...where would she go? Not home, that was for sure.
Home for how much longer?
Oblivious to her surroundings, she smacked right into somebody, who then grabbed her arms and kept her upright when she bounced back. Even before she lifted her head, Olivia knew who it was. Her body knew.
Ben Hovik. Tall, dark and handsome. The lanky boy who had, to her dismay, acquired muscles and matured into a man who would turn any woman’s head.
Except hers, of course. Been there, done that.
He was also the one person in town she went out of her way to avoid.
“Olivia.” His deep, slightly gritty voice was as gentle as it had been at her father’s funeral when he’d taken her hand in his. His expression was kind.
“I...excuse me. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
“You looked upset.”
She smiled weakly. “It hasn’t been the best of days.”
Her feet should be moving, but they weren’t. He stood there looking down at her, apparently in no hurry even though it was the middle of a school day.
Her heart cramped, as if she hadn’t already felt like a walking advertisement for Prilosec. Why did he have to look so damn good?
She had always noticed Ben. Mostly from a distance, until her first day as a freshman at the high school. He’d turned away from his locker and smiled at her, and she’d stumbled, dropped the backpack she’d just unzipped and spilled everything in it on the floor right in front of him. Lunch, pens, new gym clothes and athletic shoes. The rings on her binder had sprung open, compounding the mess. Her finest moment. When he’d helped her pick everything up and asked if she was all right, her crush metamorphosed into something a lot scarier.
The amazing thing was, he seemed to feel the same. He asked her out, she went. They fell in love. Made love. Talked about the future. Only, of course, she still had two years of high school left when he graduated, so he went off to college first, where there were lots of pretty girls his own age. She should have expected it, but she’d been stupidly naive and hadn’t. He’d broken her heart, and, nope, seeing him right at this particular minute in time was not making her feel better.
“I need to get back to work,” she said. Feet still not moving.
His dark eyes were penetrating, and his hands hadn’t left her upper arms. “You don’t look like someone who should be going in to work. Is it about your dad? I saw you were with your mom...”
Olivia laughed, a corrosive sound that had his eyebrows lifting. “Dad? Oh, sure. And Mom, who is apparently ready to throw off the old life and begin a new one.” Now, finally, she tried to shuffle sideways to go around him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Really, I need to go—”
“You need to vent,” he said firmly. “I’m here and willing. Plus, I’m discreet.” He looked momentarily rueful. “On my job, you get good at keeping secrets.”
Somehow she was letting him steer her to his Jeep Cherokee, which was right there at the curb. He must have just gotten out of it.
“Wait.” She tried to put on the brakes. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can talk. We can run through the Burger Barn drive-through and get drinks, then go park.”
The last time they’d parked... Not going there, she decided. They had “parked” a lot during their two years and five months as girlfriend-boyfriend. But the last time was when he’d said the devastating words: “I’ve met someone else.”
“No, I really should—”
“Olivia, you don’t want to go back to work looking the way you do.”
She closed her mouth on her protest. Even if she locked herself in her office, someone was sure to track her down. And she’d have to walk through the store to get to the stairs that led up to the loft where the offices were. She’d be waylaid ten times before she got that far.
Yes, but Ben Hovik...
There were worse people to talk to. Despite everything, she did believe he would keep a confidence. And he knew her parents, so he’d understand her bewilderment.
After a moment, she nodded and got in once he’d opened the door. From habit, she fastened the seat belt as he went around and got in, too.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother backing her Saab out of a curbside slot—which so happened to be right in front of the Home & County Real Estate office. Had she already listed the house?
Olivia’s coal of anger burned hotter.
Ben saw her mother driving away, too, after which his gaze rested thoughtfully on Olivia’s face and her hands clenched on the seat belt. Without saying anything, he put his SUV into gear, signaled and then slowly pulled out, going the opposite direction from her mom.
Neither of them spoke until he stopped in the Burger Barn drive-through. She was suddenly starved. Anger was apparently good for her appetite, when shock hadn’t been.
“I want a cheeseburger and fries. Diet cola.”
His eyebrow quirked, but he ordered for her and added a coffee for himself.
“You’ve already eaten,” she realized.
“At home,” he said.
“Did you have an errand in town?” she asked, suddenly suspicious.
“Nope. On my way back to the high school. Just spotted you and your mother, both of you freely projecting hostility.”
“We weren’t.”
“If it wasn’t hostility, it was a close relation.” He turned his head when the young woman reappeared in the take-out window with bags. He handed over money before Olivia could reach for her wallet, accepted the food and drinks and started driving forward.
“Thank you,” she said stiffly.
“You’re welcome.”
She asked if he minded if she ate; he said of course not. He took a few turns but, thank heavens, didn’t head for any of the popular parking spots. Instead, he chose a lane that led to a now snow-covered field, turned around and set the emergency brake. He was nice enough to leave the engine running so they still had heat.
They sat in silence for a while, until she noticed he was amused by the way she was gobbling her French fries. Flushing, she wiped her fingers on a napkin.
“I noticed at the funeral that the two of you weren’t standing near each other,” he said, instead of remarking on her gluttony. “I figured you were both trying to keep your composure and were afraid you’d set each other off. But that wasn’t it, was it?”
She both wanted and didn’t want to talk. Why was Ben the only person who’d noticed something was wrong? Or had other people, but he was the only one with the nerve to be so nosy?
Or the only one who cared enough?
No, she couldn’t believe that. Whatever relationship they’d had was long past. Those words, I’ve met someone else, had been said sixteen years ago. Half a lifetime, for her. They’d hardly spoken since.
If she could just think of him as a high school friend...
“You know what Mom and Dad were like,” she said. “So obviously in love even after all these years.”
Ben nodded. Everyone noticed.
“It’s probably why I’m not married. High expectations, you know?”
He nodded again, but she noted, when she sneaked a peek, that his face was particularly unreadable. Did he think she was slamming him for dumping her?
Ancient history, she told herself impatiently.
“After his first heart attack, Mom was so scared,” Olivia continued. “But three months or so ago, something happened. They practically quit talking. Mom moved into the guest bedroom. Neither of them would tell me what was going on.”
Now Ben looked surprised. “Your parents?”
“It was...weird. I think Mom was the one who was mad. Is mad,” she corrected herself softly. “But what could Dad have done? I mean, he’d hardly left the house since they released him from the hospital. I was running the business, so it wasn’t anything related to that.”
“I can’t imagine.” Ben frowned. “Besides, your mother must have known he was living on borrowed time.”
Olivia stared straight ahead through the windshield. “Even when he died, I could tell she was angry. Grieving, but not the way you’d expect. They’d been married thirty-eight years!” She shifted in the seat to look at Ben. “We buried him four days ago. Four! Do you know why we were having lunch today? So she could announce that she’s putting the house on the market.”
He stared. “Already?”
“That’s what I said! Then she said, ‘I’m a widow now, and I’m ready to downsize. Is that so bad?’ We’ve barely washed the sheets from their bed!”
“Did she move back into their bedroom after he died?”
Olivia shook her head. “I think selling the house is her way of leaving him. Too late for a divorce, but she has to reject him somehow. And apparently, she can’t stand to wait another minute.”
He watched her, expression troubled. “You don’t have any idea what it could have been.”
“No.” She looked away. “He died right after—”
“I know when he died.” One large hand pried the small container of fries out of her hand, and she realized she’d been squeezing it in a fist. Ben set it between the seats. “Maybe attending the funeral got to him.” He hesitated. “It was a cold day. That couldn’t have been good for him.”
“What you really mean is, he looked into that hole in the ground and saw his own mortality.”
“It’s possible,” he said gently.
Olivia’s shoulders sagged. “He was acting...strange. I tried to talk him out of going.”
“Your mother didn’t go.”
She made a face. “They weren’t speaking. How could she?”
“Is she mad at you, too?”
Olivia pondered his question for a minute and finally had to answer truthfully, “I don’t know. She doesn’t like me pushing for answers. But also...I was always kind of Daddy’s girl. A tomboy.” Like he didn’t know that. “More interested in the business than I was in clothes or homemaking.”
From the minute she’d been old enough, she had worked part-time at the hardware store, full-time in the summer all the way through college. It’s why she’d been able to step in comfortably after his heart attack.
As a wounded sixteen-year-old, she hadn’t been able to help wondering if she just wasn’t feminine enough to keep Ben’s attention. In Crescent Creek, his options had been limited, but once he was surrounded by beautiful college girls, the girlfriend he’d left behind would have been cast in new relief. A giraffe—tall, skinny, lacking enough curves. Better with a circular saw than she was with a mascara wand.
Feeling impatient, she told herself it had been too long ago for her to still be wondering.
“So your mother believes you were on his side.” Ben sounded thoughtful now. “Or thinks you’d be sympathetic to him on whatever their issue was.”
“Issue?” she echoed. “That’s a mild way of describing something that would split them, of all people, apart.”
“Maybe they weren’t as solid as they seemed.”
“A few months ago, I’d have laughed at that suggestion. I know my parents.” More softly, she amended, “I thought I knew my parents.”
“You know she’ll talk to you eventually.”
“Do I?” Olivia sighed. “If she was only hurt, I’d agree, but she’s harboring so much anger. And that’s not like Mom.”
This time he didn’t say anything. After all, he didn’t know her parents the way she did.
She turned her head and really looked at him. “You haven’t heard anything, have you? You know... Rumors. If you have, please tell me. Don’t think I’m better off not knowing.”
But he was shaking his dark head long before she finished. “I haven’t, Olivia. Not a word. People are feeling really bad for your mom.”
She went back to staring out at the snowy landscape. “She wants me to help clean the house out. Get it ready to sell. I said, ‘Gee, that sounds like fun. Let’s have a garage sale, why don’t we?’”
Ben gave a rough chuckle. “Bet that went over well.”
“Oh, yeah.” Her mouth curved into a reluctant smile. “So that’s the story. Wow. Now I can’t decide if I’m hungry enough for that cheeseburger after all.”
He laughed again. “Didn’t eat a bite at Guido’s, huh?”
“I poked and stirred.”
“Eat.” The bag rustled when he reached into it, and he even partially unwrapped the burger before handing it to her. “Go on. You’ll feel better.”
Feeling calmer for no good reason, she did. Halfway through the cheeseburger, she felt the need to break the silence.
“What you did for that girl... It was nice.”
His shoulders moved. From his profile, she thought she’d embarrassed him.
“If I hadn’t started that fund, someone else would have.”
“Maybe. I’m not so sure. The thing is, you did it for the right reasons. In Guido’s I heard people talking, and it made me mad. It was all about TV coverage and feeling self-satisfied.”
The skin beside his espresso-dark eyes crinkled. “You were already mad.”
“Well...yeah.”
“Damn, Olivia.” The timbre of his voice had changed. “I’ve missed you.”
“Sure you did.” Appetite gone, she rewrapped the remaining half of the cheeseburger. “I really do need to get back, Ben. Thanks for listening.”
She felt him studying her. Her skin prickled from her acute awareness.
“Okay,” he said, in seeming resignation. He released the emergency brake and put the Jeep into gear. “I am sorry.”
She bent her head in stiff acknowledgment, not daring to ask whether he was sorry about her present turmoil—or because he’d hurt her all those years ago. “Thank you.”
Neither said anything during the short drive back to town. Only when he double-parked in front of the hardware store did she remember the lunch. “You should let me pay—”
Ben’s expression shut her down.
“Thank you,” she said again and hopped out, taking her drink and the leftovers in the sack with her.
“Good seeing you, Olivia,” he murmured, and, once she’d shut the door and retreated to the curb, he drove away without looking back that she could tell.
Her heart slammed in her chest, and she felt a yawning emptiness deep inside.
