Читать книгу Past, Present And A Future - Janice Carter - Страница 9

SHE HAD TIMED HER entrance perfectly. Laura and Dave were just sitting down at their table, and judging by the half-finished glass of wine in front of Gil, Clare figured he’d arrived a bit early. She handed her coat to the host and walked toward them, pleased that she had avoided a few moments alone with Gil—something she’d worried about on her walk to the restaurant.

“Clare! You look ravishing,” Dave enthused, standing to greet her. “Doesn’t she, Laura?”

“Now that she’s a celebrity, she has an image to keep up, right, Clare?” Laura winked.

The spotlight wasn’t really what she’d been seeking, but Clare struck a pose, hoping she didn’t look as awkward as she felt. She cocked her head, her shoulder-length hair swaying to one side, and scanned the room. “What? No paparazzi?” she demanded, smiling. She gave Dave a quick hug and bent down to give Laura a peck on the cheek.

Gil had stood at her arrival as well and was pulling out the chair beside his. Clare hesitated, then acknowledged him with a nod of her head. “Gil,” she mumbled and sat down. As he pushed the chair in, his hand brushed across her shoulders and the instant tingle distracted her enough that she missed Laura’s next remark.

“I said,” Laura repeated seeing the blank look on Clare’s face, “that I love your dress. Is it silk?”

“Yes. A celebration splurge.”

“It’s stunning,” Laura went on. “Those earth tones are wonderful with your hair and complexion. Whenever you move, they seem to shimmer in different shades of brown and gold.”

“More like copper,” Gil added.

“Since when were you such a fashion connoisseur?” asked Dave, grinning across the table.

“I know my colors as well as the next guy,” Gil said, grinning. He turned toward Clare. “Laura’s right. The dress is perfect for you.”

His smile was sincere, Clare thought, but the intense expression in his eyes unreadable. She suddenly felt uncomfortable and gave him a quick smile that felt lopsided, then turned her head toward Laura. “Who’s looking after Emma tonight?”

“My mother. She and Dad are heading off to Florida Monday morning so she wanted to spend more time with her.”

“Will they stay in Florida the whole winter?”

“They usually do. Though this year, they might brave the weather and come back for Christmas. Unless we go there,” Laura said, casting a quick glance at Dave.

A shadow crossed his face. Obviously, he didn’t want to discuss the matter right then. Clare quickly said, “Well, wherever you end up, Christmas will be special this year because of Emma.”

“You’re right, Clare. Emma’s what matters,” Laura said, giving Dave a pointed look.

A waiter arrived with sparkling wine and four glasses. “I hope you don’t mind,” Gil said. “I ordered it just before you arrived. Thought the occasion required a toast.”

When the wine was poured, Gil raised his glass. “To Laura, Dave and baby Emma.”

“And let’s not forget old friends,” Dave said.

The waiter came to recite the specials and for the next few minutes, attention was devoted to the menu. Once their orders were taken, Dave broke the silence by asking Clare how the book signing had gone.

“Fine, though I wonder if I’ll ever get used to these things.”

“You better,” Laura said. “I’ve a feeling there are many more in your future.”

“There was quite a crowd at the store,” Gil added.

“You went?” Laura asked.

“Sure. Got to support the local talent, right?”

Laura’s glance switched from Gil to Clare. But if her friend was looking for some sign of how the encounter had turned out, Clare wasn’t cooperating. She met Laura’s gaze with impassivity and abruptly changed the subject to her interview with Jeff Withers.

“That guy!” Dave grimaced when Clare mentioned the reporter’s name.

“Why?” Clare asked, suddenly worried about the interview.

“He’s one of those sensationalist reporters. You know the kind—knocking on the doors of families who’ve just suffered a devastating loss. He’s good at pulling the emotional strings of his readers.”

Clare understood then Withers’s dogged insistence on focusing on the Rina Thomas case, rather than her novel. For the second time that day, she regretted the interview.

“So how did it go?” Gil asked.

She turned his way, saying merely, “Fine.” He was the last person she wanted to discuss the interview with, especially its focus on Rina Thomas. The arrival of the waiter with their food prevented her from having to elaborate and after he left, the talk turned to food, restaurants and changes in Twin Falls. On safer ground, Clare began to relax and enjoy the evening.

But two hours later, her relief that the dinner had transpired without serious reference to the past evaporated. The laughter, topical chitchat and catch-up on their current lives had merely been embellishment to her false sense of security, Clare realized. Standing on the sidewalk outside Serendipity—and acknowledging the irony of its name, under the circumstances—Clare was painfully aware of the huge gap between the teenaged Gil Harper she’d adored and his present self. Someone she knew not at all.

Outside the restaurant after dinner, Laura and Dave lingered for a few seconds, reminding them of the time to be at the church the next day. “Sure you don’t want a lift back?” Laura asked anxiously, reading all too clearly, Clare thought, the state of her mind.

“My hotel’s just a few blocks away,” Clare was saying when Gil piped up.

“I’ll walk her back,” he said to Laura and before Clare could find an excuse, he clasped a hand under her elbow and gently turned her in the direction of the Falls View Hotel, four blocks away. “I insist,” he added.

Her first impulse was to shake loose of his grasp, but she was worried the move would seem too inappropriate. She reminded herself that he was simply being polite, a trait she recalled from the adolescent Gil Harper, only the present day Gil Harper seemed nothing like the teenage one she’d adored.

“You’re deep in thought,” he commented, breaking the silence.

More like deep in history, she thought, but only made an innocuous remark about the evening.

“Yes,” he agreed, “the food was great, too. A far cry from the diner we used to hang out at after school. Remember it?”

As if she could forget. Harvey’s Diner was where her history with Gil had begun. Just two blocks away from Twin Falls High, the small family-owned snack bar had been, along with the town’s pool hall, one of the few places that tolerated the teenage crowd.

But she refused to be drawn in to reminiscing. “I do. The best hamburgers and fries in town.” As if that had been its only claim to memory.

He didn’t pursue the point. Conversation ceased then and all that Clare heard were the hollow echoes of their shoes on the sidewalk and the voice in her mind, urging her to say something—anything—to break the strained silence. Yet there was a time when silence between them had been companionable. A bond, rather than an indicator of the way their lives had diverged. Oddly, the thought saddened her.

They were approaching the old movie theater—its facade rebricked and updated—as the audience exited, spilling onto the sidewalk ahead of them. Gil slowed down, letting Clare take the lead through the knots of people. Someone jostled against her and when she turned to her right, Clare saw a thin, middle-aged woman staring at her in astonishment. On the verge of apologizing Clare was met with a glare so hateful that she froze in her tracks. A couple strolled between her and the woman and by the time they’d passed, the woman had been swallowed up in the crowd.

“What is it?” Gil asked, coming up beside her. “Why did you stop?”

“I don’t really know,” she said, still scanning the place where the woman had been seconds ago. “I bumped into some woman and when I turned to apologize, she glared at me as if I’d done something unbelievably rude.”

“What did she look like?”

“In her forties and skinny. Brown hair. She was looking at me as if she knew me,” Clare said.

Gil stretched his neck to look over the crowd. He turned back to her. “Maybe it was someone you knew from before.”

From before. A curious expression, Clare thought, looking at Gil. Just as I once knew you—from before. Or thought I did.

“More likely someone who didn’t like my book,” she said, laughing it off. She resumed walking, eager to remove herself from his gaze. She tried to keep a distance ahead of him but her heels were no match for his effortless stride.

He caught up to her as she turned onto the side street where her hotel was situated. Clear of Main Street and with fewer shops, the street was much darker. It ran along the river, fenced off by a guardrail and gentle embankment to its edge. On the opposite side rose the steep dark cliffs that snaked around the bend in the river to the falls at its head. Two brilliant spotlights aimed at the falls illuminated their flow down the cliffs.

“I don’t recall those lights when I lived here,” Gil said.

“No,” Clare said, slowing to take in their nighttime splendor. “They were installed a few years ago,” she said. “A porter at the hotel told me some drunk driver missed the bend in the road and went over the top. They put up the fence afterward.”

“Remember how we used to make jokes about what this place might have been called if the falls weren’t here? Like Rivertown?”

“Yes,” she said, laughing suddenly at the memory flash. “Laura and I came up with River Crossing and River Forge, but our favorite was Nowhere U.S.A., getting away from the river theme. If the falls weren’t here, we decided we’d have to rename most of the town. The high school, this hotel, at least one of the restaurants in town at the time, as well as a couple of the streets.”

“Not to mention the town’s first shopping mall.”

“Really a strip plaza,” she said.

“Right.” He grinned down at her.

In that unguarded instant, their eyes connected, sharing a memory. It was as if the intervening years hadn’t happened at all. She was still seventeen and in love. Clare looked away first. She shivered, bunching her shoulders beneath the trench coat she’d brought for the weekend. “It’s getting chilly,” she mumbled, “and we have an early morning.”

“Not too early,” he said, his voice as low as hers.

Was he suggesting something, she wondered, or simply correcting her? Whichever, she decided not to respond.

“Look,” he went on, “I’m assuming you feel as uncomfortable about the christening as I do. But obviously, we don’t want to spoil the day for Laura and Dave. Can we agree on some kind of truce for tomorrow?”

Clare kept her face impassive. “I wasn’t aware that we were involved in some kind of feud. Do we need to agree on neutrality when indifference is really what we’re feeling?”

There was a second of confusion in his face, quickly followed by understanding. He took a step back, looking as if she’d struck him.

“We’re both adults,” she said, trying to soften the bluntness of her remark. “And we’ve both managed to put the past behind us. Do we need to say more?”

“Apparently not,” he replied, his voice almost a whisper. “Good night then, Clare.” He turned his back on her and strode briskly toward Main Street.

Clare waited until he disappeared around the corner before she summoned the energy to move. In spite of her belief that what she’d said was perfectly true, she felt mean and ashamed. What is it about Gil Harper, that prompts such behavior in you? she asked herself.

She pushed open the front door of the hotel, crossing the deserted lobby on her way to her room. She didn’t realize there was a phone message for her until she reached across the nightstand to turn out the lamp.

“Welcome back to Twin Falls, Clare. This is Lisa Stuart, your former English teacher at Twin Falls High. I missed your book signing today but heard via the grapevine that you might be in town a couple more days. I wondered if you’d be interested in visiting the school and giving a short talk to my senior lit class. I hate to impose on what must be a busy schedule, but some of my students have already read your latest novel and we’d all be thrilled to have you visit. If not, then perhaps the two of us could get together over coffee. I’d love to see you and hear all about your success. Call me anytime at 613-8527 and let me know. Looking forward to seeing you, bye for now.”

Clare jotted down the number, though she doubted she’d accept the invitation. Twin Falls High definitely wasn’t on her list of places to visit. She lay her head down on the pillow, too drained to read. One more day, then I’m out of here.

INDIFFERENCE. Gil didn’t dare turn around, even though he felt her watching him as he left. But he wanted to. He especially wanted to confront her about that glib remark and to tell her that she hadn’t really changed at all. That she was still shutting down, refusing to listen, just as she’d done seventeen years ago when he’d tried to explain why he’d been with Rina Thomas that day.

He slowed his pace when he reached Main Street, grateful for the cool night air and its calming effect. A woman, walking in the direction of the hotel, stopped as he passed her. Gil had the impression she was staring after him—maybe she’d seen something in his face, he thought. His anger and frustration flashing from him like a warning sign. Stop. Danger from the past just ahead.

By the time he reached the restaurant he felt more in control. Serendipity. What irony. The coincidence of finding himself linked with Clare Morgan after all these years was more bad luck than serendipity. And in spite of his extreme effort to be cool about the whole thing—to try to convey to her that he felt just as cornered by the christening as she did—she’d deftly turned the tables on him.

Yet to be truthful, it wasn’t simply her gibe that had touched a nerve so much as the unexpected jolt he’d felt at it. It wasn’t pain, he decided—more like anger quickly followed by sadness. He’d felt the same way when he’d read her book. He hadn’t been fooled at all by the name changes, recognizing at once himself, Rina and Clare. Of course, Clare had neatly avoided attaching blame for the death of the Rina character to his counterpart in the novel. That was where fiction and fact diverged. She’d been all too quick to blame him seventeen years ago.

Gil reached his car, parked a block beyond the restaurant, and climbed in. He’d impulsively offered to walk Clare back to her hotel after she turned down a ride from the Kingsways because he’d thought it would be an opportunity to clear the air between them, to straighten things out a bit before the next day. But no such luck.

You said it yourself, buddy. She hasn’t really changed. Her hair may have a different look, her golden-brown eyes, more wary, and her skinny teenaged frame has definitely morphed into something any other man would fantasize about, but inside, she was as unchanged as the falls. Self-righteous, inflexible and unforgiving.

Gil turned over the engine of his Mercedes and sat a minute longer, picturing the look in her face when she’d made that damned comment. He’d seen right away that she was trying for indifference but those eyes said it all. You’re a liar and a cheat and you don’t mean anything to me anymore. Precisely what she’d flung at him seventeen years ago, right after his release from jail. Words he’d never forget.

He shifted into Drive and edged away from the curb. At least he now knew where he stood. After tomorrow, Clare Morgan would be out of his life once again—which was just as well, for his sake.

CLARE CLOSED the car door behind her and lowered her head onto the steering wheel, its cool surface the perfect balm for the pounding at her temples. The christening ceremony had been relatively brief, for which she was grateful. Holding a squirming two-month-old for more than ten minutes would have been a challenge. Especially under the somewhat bemused gaze of Gil, who hadn’t bothered to offer any help. As soon as her part had finished, Clare quickly thrust the baby back into Laura’s arms. She thought she heard a low snort from Gil as she did so, but couldn’t be certain.

After the service, people clustered outside the church in small groups. In spite of her reluctance to return to Twin Falls, Clare was pleased to see Laura’s parents and family members again. She’d had many happy childhood memories with the Dundas family. When Gil came up to ask if she needed a ride to the Kingsways’, where the reception was being held, Clare was also grateful that she’d driven her rental car. His very presence seemed to strike a nerve.

Laura and Dave’s house was teeming with people when Clare walked in the front door. She placed her christening gift—a hand-smocked designer dress with matching sweater—onto the hall table along with the other presents and was making her way to the dining room where drinks were being served when Gil arrived.

His charcoal-gray designer suit seemed out of place in the small-town crowd but she had to admit, he was breathtakingly attractive in it. He gave a curt nod, clutching the handle of a gift bag. Clare could see the fluffy brown ears of a stuffed animal poking through the tissue paper. Her eyes connected briefly with his before she turned away and made for the dining room.

Dave was pouring mimosas from a tall crystal pitcher, assisted by a slightly older man who bore a striking resemblance to him. “Clare! Here, you must have one of these.” He handed her a champagne flute and tilted his head to the other man. “You remember my brother, Rick?”

Clare smiled and nodded. “Kind of. You were a couple of grades ahead of me at school.”

“That’s right,” he said. “I know your name because of your connection to Dave and Laura, but I have to admit I don’t recall too many kids from your year.” He chuckled, adding, “Well, except for Rina Thomas and I guess everyone knew her.”

Clare saw Dave give his brother a subtle nudge as he smiled nervously at someone behind her. She turned to see Gil standing in the doorway. The slight pulse at his jaw line—a sign of emotion held in check that Clare recalled all too well—told her immediately that he’d heard. He gave a polite but stiff nod as Dave introduced Rick.

“No, thanks,” he said to the offer of alcohol. “Coffee for me.” And without another word, headed for the kitchen.

Sensing that Dave was about to explain the faux pas to his brother and unwilling to be part of it, Clare smiled vaguely and, glass in hand, drifted into the living room. Laura shrieked a greeting from across the room.

“Clare!” She was with her older sister, Anne-Marie, whom Clare hadn’t seen since Laura’s wedding.

They hugged and made small talk for a moment before Anne-Marie asked, “How’s your book doing? I haven’t read it yet, but I brought my copy with me so don’t forget to sign it before we leave.”

“Sure,” Clare said. “You look great. Life in Greenwich must be agreeable.”

“A bit quiet, but it beats Twin Falls for action. I still don’t understand why Laura and Dave came back here. Do you like living in New York, Clare?”

“It’s great. Always something to do or see.”

“Did you know Gil Harper was there, too?” Without waiting for a reply, Anne-Marie ducked her head closer to Clare’s. “He’s even more to die for than he was as a teenager, isn’t he?” Then, realizing what she’d just said, added, “Sorry I wasn’t intending any bad pun there, believe me Clare.”

Obviously the past was never going to leave her alone, Clare was thinking, as she smiled mutely at Laura and her sister, who wasn’t taking the hint. “I know that sounds indiscreet, but the whole business has been resurrected anyway by the article in today’s paper.”

“What article?” Laura asked.

Jeff Withers’s flushed and eager face rose before Clare. I knew that was going to come back to haunt me. “The one I mentioned at dinner last night,” Clare said. “My interview with Jeff Withers.”

Laura blinked. “What did he write? Do you have the paper here?”

“No,” Anne-Marie said, “we left it in the motel. Don’t you get it delivered?”

“Not anymore, but get to the point—what did he write?”

Anne-Marie’s eyes flicked from Laura to Clare. “He was supposed to be interviewing you about your book, right?”

Clare nodded.

“But most of the article is a rehash about the Rina Thomas murder. He basically came right out and said that the whole story is right in your novel. Is that true?”

“Of course not! I’ve drawn on some of my experiences growing up here. Writers do that, you know. And there is a death in my novel, but an accidental one. The circumstances are very different,” she added.

Anne-Marie shrugged. “The article suggests there’s a parallel between your novel and what really happened. Withers plays up the notion that the death in your book may have been murder, too.”

“This is so frustrating,” Clare said. “What kind of journalist is he?”

“Clare, you need to read the article. He even mentioned your own connection to the Rina Thomas case. He implied you had inside information about the actual murder and used some of it in your book.”

Fighting to keep her voice even, Clare said, “That’s ridiculous!”

“I think it’s time to cut the cake and bring out the lunch stuff,” Laura cheerily interjected.

“I need to use the washroom,” Clare mumbled and charged blindly through the crowded living room and up the stairs.

Someone was already in the bathroom and Clare sagged against the wall outside, gulping in oxygen. The door opened and Gil Harper was suddenly standing next to her, his hand on her arm.

“Clare? What’s wrong? You look upset.”

She closed her eyes. Of all the luck.

“Please don’t say nothing is wrong,” he went on. “I’ve a lot of weaknesses, but stupidity isn’t one of them.”

That drew a faint smile. “No, stupidity was never one.” She hesitated, then admitted, “Just something Laura’s sister said. About that damn newspaper interview.”

His brow furled for an instant, then cleared. “Ah, yes. You were talking about it last night. What did the guy do? Trash your book?”

“If only. I could have handled that. No, he…uh, he tried to link my plot to Rina Thomas’s murder.” Her eyes shifted briefly to the framed print on the opposite wall. He was quiet for so long she thought he wouldn’t respond. But to his credit, he didn’t evade the issue now that it was out in the open.

“But aren’t the story lines somewhat similar?”

It was a fair question from Gil, someone briefly connected to the murder, and he deserved frankness. “When I wrote the novel,” she began, “my intention was to tell a story about growing up in a small town. I lived in the South for a few years after graduation and grew to love the people and their generous hospitality. That’s the reason I set the novel in the South.”

“What were you doing down there?”

“Teaching in a four-room country school.” She smiled, thinking how naive and inexperienced she’d been.

“Quite a challenge,” he said. “How long were you there?”

“Four years. Then I went back home to New Jersey for a bit and did some substitute teaching while I took postgrad courses to get my masters.”

“A masters in English lit, I bet.”

She nodded. “That’s when I started writing. I was inspired by what I was learning, I suppose.” Though she knew otherwise. More like inspired by demons that wouldn’t leave me alone.

One of the guests appeared on the landing, searching for the bathroom. Gil clasped Clare’s elbow and pulled her aside. “Can we politely make our excuses, do you think, and leave the party early? I’d like to talk to you some more about what you’ve been doing with your life.”

She hesitated only for a fraction of a second. There was the risk of delving into the past with Gil, she realized, but at the same time she was enjoying talking to him. “All right. Laura said they’d decided against speeches or anything formal. There’ll be a toast to Emma and as godparents, we’ll have to be present for that. And she’ll be upset if we don’t have any of the lunch.”

“True. How about if I meet you outside on the front porch after the toast and a bite to eat?”

“Okay. I’ll look for you there.”

He nodded, turned and headed back down the stairs. Clare stared at his retreating back. What had she just gotten herself into?

The bathroom door opened again and Clare, smiling at the woman exiting, took her turn. By the time she’d refreshed and was back downstairs, people were congregating in the dining room around the table, now laden with food.

Dave stood at the entrance to the dining room with Laura and Emma beside him. Gil was off to the side. When Dave spotted Clare, he addressed the guests. “Does everyone have a glass of something for a toast? Laura and I want to thank all of you for coming to share this very special day with us. It’s even more special with the presence of family and old friends.” He smiled directly at Clare and Gil. Then, raising his wineglass, he said, “Join us in wishing Emma a healthy, safe and long life.”

Everyone raised their glasses and said, “To Emma.”

Dave raised his glass a second time. “And to our dear friends—Clare Morgan and Gil Harper—Emma’s godparents. Thank you both and God bless.”

Clare felt her face heat up as all eyes turned her way. As soon as the toast was finished, she set her wineglass down and, paper plate in hand, picked a couple of morsels from the buffet table. Then she moved toward Laura, who was passing Emma to her mother.

“Do you mind if I leave early, Laura? I’ve a headache coming on and Gil suggested a walk to get some fresh air.”

“Are you upset because of what Anne-Marie said? ’Cause I’m sorry, Clare. You know how she is. She didn’t mean any harm.”

“No, no. I know Anne-Marie too well to take her the wrong way. But I have the signing tomorrow in Hartford and I’m still a bit tired from the one yesterday.” Her voice trailed off. Laura was too smart to be fooled by such lame excuses but she didn’t say anything. Clare popped an olive into her mouth.

“Can you come by for breakfast in the morning, before you leave?”

“Actually Lisa Stuart—remember her, senior English class?—called and invited me to speak to one of her classes in the morning.” Clare munched on a red pepper strip and scanned the room for Gil. Had he already left?

Laura’s face cleared. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Those kids would love to see and hear a real live author, especially one from here.”

Clare ignored a tug of guilt, knowing she’d made the decision to visit the class only at that moment. “I was honored to be asked,” she said. “How about if I call you tonight?” She set her paper plate down on the hall table and headed for the front door, Laura at her heels.

“Want to come for dinner tonight?” Laura asked. “We’re just ordering in and my parents will be here, but at least we could have a bit of a chat.”

Guilt won out. “Perhaps. I’ll call you later this afternoon.”

“Okay. And…have a nice walk with Gil,” Laura said.

Clare saw the curiosity in her friend’s face and would have explained the situation but a quick glance through the glass-paned door behind her registered Gil, waiting for her at the foot of the stairs. “Talk to you later,” she said and walked out onto the porch.