Читать книгу The Nurse's Baby Secret - Janice Lynn, Janice Lynn - Страница 9
ОглавлениеNURSE SAVANNAH CARTER stared at her flat lower abdomen via the reflection in her bedroom mirror, imagining she saw the tiniest outline of a bulge if she stood just right.
Pregnant. Her.
How long had she dreamed of this moment?
Years. Her whole life.
She’d always wanted children. Always.
Sure, she’d thought she’d be married and have a husband who was going to be an amazing father to her precious child, but since when had things gone according to plan?
Never, really. Just as this pregnancy wasn’t planned. But she couldn’t complain. She had a good life. A great life. A great man in her life.
Charlie Keele was a wonderful person and doctor, and if her baby ended up with a more than generous share of Charlie’s genetic code, well, her baby would be a blessed child.
Charlie was brilliant, gorgeous, athletic, a man who respected her independence and beliefs, and he’d been Lucky Savannah’s boyfriend for the past year.
Lucky Savannah. She smiled at the nickname. That was what her friends had been calling her since the first time Charlie had singled her out at the hospital. They’d teased even more as she and Charlie had slid into an exclusive relationship. These days she and Charlie were inseparable. They exercised together, ate more meals together than not, worked together, and practically lived together. She suspected they would soon. For quite some time she’d been expecting Charlie to ask her to move in with him.
Expecting him to propose.
Charlie owned a beautiful brick home with lots of room and an amazing fenced-in backyard just right for a family, in an up-and-coming neighborhood. If he hadn’t mentioned living together first, when her apartment lease came up for renewing, she planned to discuss moving in with him.
She was having Charlie’s baby. That might rush things a bit, which she regretted. She wanted him to ask her to live with him, to marry him, when he was ready, because he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life without her. She had no doubt that was where their relationship was headed and she had no regrets regarding her accidental pregnancy.
She wanted Charlie and she wanted his baby.
Although she’d dated in the past, she’d never met a man like Charlie. Never felt for a man what she felt for Charlie. Never felt as cherished as Charlie made her feel. It was what her parents had had prior to her father’s death when Savannah was seven years old. It was what Savannah had always known she’d hold out for. She didn’t need a man, but having a good one in her life gave a shiny glow to everything.
A shiny glow she’d found with Charlie.
She pressed her hand over her belly, trying to imagine that she could feel the little life inside her. Charlie’s baby.
Her and Charlie’s baby.
A miniature version of them growing inside her.
Savannah’s smile widened as her imagination took off. His brown hair and eyes and her fair skin? Or his strong, handsome facial features and cleft chin and her blue eyes? Or maybe her red hair and his dark features? Or...the possibilities were endless. Regardless, their baby would be beautiful. Would be loved. Would be their whole world.
A baby!
They’d not talked about children, but Charlie would be happy. He loved her. He hadn’t said the words out loud, but Savannah knew. She saw it in the way he looked at her, in the way he touched her, kissed her, treated her as if she was the center of his world. Charlie Keele was in love with her and would be ecstatic at their news.
She really was a lucky woman.
She was having the most wonderful man in the world’s baby. They were going to be a family and have a fabulous life.
Feeling as if she was floating, she glanced at her watch. He’d be here in a couple of hours. She’d tell him their news. He’d kiss her, twirl her around, sweep her off her feet, maybe even propose. Something grand, for sure.
Her hair and make-up were done up a little more than her usual ponytail pullback and light coating of mascara, just in case.
Maybe she should drop some hints and let him figure out her news in some creative way. Like a blue and pink cupcake or maybe she could get him to take her to a toy store under the guise of picking up a gift for her friend Chrissie’s son, Joss. They could stroll through the baby section and she could ooh and aah over the tiny little outfits. Or she could fill up his car with pink and blue balloons or... A dozen reveal ideas came to her, each one putting a bigger smile on her face.
Wouldn’t he be surprised when he realized?
Reality was, she’d never be able to keep the news from him for long. Already she was about to pop with excitement just waiting for him to arrive. No doubt he’d take one look at her and know.
She probably had a pregnancy glow.
Savannah laughed out loud, the happy sound echoing around her bathroom.
They were having a baby.
A baby! How amazing was that?
Needing to burn some of her energy while she waited for him, she hid the pregnancy test she’d done when her menstrual cycle had failed to make an appearance. Even if he beat her back, she wanted to see his face when he found out he was going to be a father.
When all evidence was safely tucked away, she grabbed her purse to head to the nearest department store.
There were some little pink and blue items she just had to have.
* * *
Frowning, Dr. Charlie Keele stared at the contract on his desk.
The signed and countersigned contract.
He’d done it.
He’d debated back and forth over the past month, but he’d really done it. He’d signed on to accept a job two hours away.
Taking the position was an amazing opportunity, but he had hesitated and he’d known why.
Savannah.
She’d become such an intrinsic part of his life, completely entangled in everything he did. He struggled to imagine leaving Chattanooga and the most remarkable woman he’d ever known.
But every time he’d considered turning down the offer, the past had reared its ugly head, reminding him of all the reasons why he should go.
He’d signed his name on that line for Savannah as much as for himself. More.
Savannah was an incredible woman. One unlike any he’d ever known or dated. Sure, he’d had a few long-term relationships over the years, but none that he’d ever thought twice about walking away from. Walking away had always been easy.
Nothing about leaving Chattanooga would be easy, except knowing that he was doing the right thing for Savannah by leaving before she became any more attached.
She was the most independent woman he’d ever met. He’d not expected her to get so intertwined in his life. Nor had he expected himself to become so tangled up in hers.
“Don’t let a woman hold you back from your dream, son.”
How many times had he heard that or something similar over the years? His father had dreamt of medical school, of working as a travel doctor with an organization such as Doctors Without Borders, of dedicating his life to medicine. Instead, he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant, dropped out of college and gotten a coal-mining job to support his new family.
He’d resented his wife and child every day since for those stolen dreams. Charlie’s mother and Charlie had never been able to replace those dreams and his father had grown more and more bitter over the years. Rupert Keele had pushed Charlie toward going into the medical profession from the time Charlie could walk and talk. Talking about medicine, about becoming a doctor and traveling the world to take care of needy people, was the one time Charlie’s father liked having him around. For years Charlie had thought if he could make his father proud, that might make his father love him, might make life better for himself and his mother. He’d tried his best but, no matter how good the grade, the game performance, the above and beyond achievement, nothing had ever been good enough. Rupert hadn’t cared one iota about anything or anyone except himself.
Charlie’s mother hadn’t been much better, blaming Charlie for her lot in life as well.
Sometimes Charlie wondered if he’d have chosen something besides medicine if he hadn’t been brainwashed from birth and so eager to try to win his mostly uninterested father’s affections in the hopes it would somehow magically transform his parents into good ones. Regardless, when Charlie had been eleven, his maternal grandfather’s congestive heart failure had worsened and Charlie had decided that, rather than work as a travel doctor, he wanted to do cardiology, to work on healing people’s physical hearts, because he sure hadn’t been able to do anything with his parents’.
Charlie had dreamed of heading up a cardiology unit his whole life and now he had the chance.
* * *
If he’d learned nothing else from his parents, he’d learned giving up one’s dreams only led to misery for all concerned and that he couldn’t protect anyone from that misery, not himself or the people he cared about.
Which was why he was leaving Chattanooga to set Savannah free.
To truly accomplish that, he’d have to hurt her, make her hate him.
Based on past experience, that should be no problem.
* * *
Stuffing the last of the shopping bags into her closet, Savannah closed the door just as her doorbell rang.
Charlie was there.
Finally.
He had a key but always rang the bell rather than just coming in, as she’d asked him time and again.
She turned from the closet and a pair of blue baby booties sitting on the bed caught her eye.
Oops.
She grabbed up the soft cotton booties, hugged them to her for one brief happy moment, then put them in the closet with her other purchases and reclosed the door. She’d decided she was just going to place his hand on her belly and let him figure out for himself why. She’d watch as his face lit with surprise, then excitement. She felt so giddy her insides quivered.
“You okay?” Charlie asked when she opened her apartment door, his dark eyes curious as she had taken longer than usual.
By way of an answer, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.
Immediately, his arms went around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her back. A thousand butterflies took flight in her belly that had nothing to do with the little life growing there and everything to do with the man making her heart race.
His kisses always made her heart race.
“Hmm,” he mused, looking confused, when he pulled back from her mouth. “What was that for?”
“Do I have to have a reason to kiss you?” she asked, batting her lashes. She wanted to just tell him, to jump up and down and scream to the world that she was having a baby—Charlie’s baby. But, seriously, she should probably let him into the apartment and close the front door before doing so.
Probably.
Frowning, he shook his head. “You have to admit, that’s not the usual way you greet me.”
“Well, it should be.” He was right. She didn’t meet him at the door and throw herself at him usually, but nothing was usual about tonight. Tonight, she was going to tell him the greatest news.
His brow lifted in question.
About to burst with excitement, she searched for the right words. Loving the strong feel of him, the spicy smell of him she wanted to breathe in until he permeated all her senses. “I have good news.”
She was about bursting to tell him. But it registered that he’d yet to smile, as his face took on a tired appearance and he closed his eyes, tension tightening his body. “I have something to tell you, too.”
“You do?” She stepped back and motioned for him to come into her apartment. Rather than sitting down, he paced across to the opposite side of the living room.
“Yes, and maybe I should go first.” He raked his fingers through his hair, turned, gave her a troubled look.
The cloud nine Savannah had been walking on all afternoon dissipated and she felt her stomach drop. She’d been off work, but had met him that morning to run at the greenway. Then, they’d hit the gym together for about an hour. He’d been all smiles when he’d walked her to her car and kissed her goodbye. He’d kissed her so thoroughly and soundly that she’d wanted to drag him into the backseat and have her way with him.
Not that that was anything new. She always wanted to have her way with Charlie. He had that kind of body. One she still had difficulty believing she got to see and touch and kiss and hold and...
She shook off the sensual rabbit hole her mind was jumping down. “What’s going on?”
“I didn’t mean to get into this first thing.” He paced over to a bookshelf, picked up a framed photo of them at Lookout Mountain, stared at the smiling image of them as if he’d never seen it before rather than being part of the couple in the picture. “But it’s just as well to get it out in the open.”
He was the most upfront person she knew. She’d never seen him so distracted. Was something wrong?
“Charlie?”
He set the photo down, turned and faced her. His expression was clouded, which was odd. Charlie never tried to keep his feelings from her. He’d never had to. He knew she was as crazy about him as he was about her.
Only right now, at this moment, he didn’t look like a man who was crazy about her. He looked like a man who was torn by whatever he was about to say, a man who was about to deliver earth-shattering news.
Fear seized Savannah’s heart and she struggled to get enough oxygen into her constricted lungs.
“Charlie?” she repeated, this time with more urgency.
“Have a seat, Savannah.”
She made her way to her sofa. Slowly, she sat down and waited for him to tell her what was going on. She didn’t like his odd behavior, didn’t like that he hadn’t greeted her with smiles the way he generally did, didn’t like the way her heart worked overtime.
Where was her loving, kind, generous, open lover of the past year? The man whose entire face would light with happiness when he saw her? The man whose eyes would eat her up with possessiveness and desire and magical feel-good vibes?
The man avoiding looking directly at her looked as if he was about to deliver the news that she had a terminal illness or something just as devastating.
What if...? Her hands trembled.
Oh, God. Please don’t let something be wrong with Charlie. Please, no.
Not now. Not ever.
“I’m leaving.”
His two simple words echoed around the room, not registering in Savannah’s mind.
“What?” Her chest muscles contracted tightly around her ribcage as she tried to process what he was saying, her brain still going to something possibly being wrong with him. “What do you mean that you’re leaving?”
His expression guarded, he shrugged. “I’m leaving Chattanooga. I’ve taken a cardiology position at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville on the heart failure team and I’m moving there as soon as I can get everything arranged. I turned my notice in at the hospital today.”
Her ears roared. What he was saying didn’t make sense. “You’re leaving the hospital?”
He nodded. “I’m working out a two months’ notice, during which time I’ll be relocating to Nashville.”
“But...your house.” The house she’d imagined them raising their child in. The big backyard. The nice neighborhood close to good schools. The large rooms. Perfect for a family.
“I’ll put it up for sale. I only bought it because I knew I could turn it for a profit. I never meant to stay there. It’s way too big for my needs.”
Never meant to stay. Too big for his needs. Savannah’s head spun.
He’d never meant to stay.
Nothing he said made sense. Not to her way of thinking. Not to the promises she’d seen in his eyes, felt in his touch.
“You’ve always known you’d leave Chattanooga?”
She liked Chattanooga. The mountains. The river. The nightlife. The people. The town. She liked it. Chattanooga was home, where she wanted to be.
“I’ve never stayed in one place more than a few years and even once I’m in Nashville, if the opportunity comes along to further my career elsewhere, I’ll move.”
Her brain didn’t seem to be processing anything correctly. Perhaps it was baby brain. Perhaps it was that he’d dropped the bottom out of her world.
“This is about your career?” she asked slowly, trying to make sure she understood what he was saying.
Because she didn’t understand anything he was saying.
He was happy in Chattanooga. Why would he willingly leave? Why hadn’t she known he planned to leave some day?
“I’ve taken a teaching and research position at the university and a prestigious position at the hospital. It’s a great opportunity.”
What he said registered. Sort of. “You’re moving to Nashville?”
He nodded. “The hospital is offering a relocation package. Hopefully, I’ll find something to buy or rent within the next few weeks so I can be settled in prior to starting.”
“Hopefully,” she mumbled a little sarcastically.
He was leaving. Not once had he said a word to her about the possibility that he might leave. Not once had he mentioned that he was looking for another job. That he’d consider another job even if it was handed to him on a silver platter.
He’d made the decision without even discussing it with her. Her mother, family, and friends were here. She didn’t want to move to Nashville. Upset didn’t begin to cover it.
“I don’t want to live two hours away from the man I’m dating,” she pointed out what she thought should be obvious. “I like that I see you every morning, that we work out together, that I get to see you from time to time at work, that I get to grab dinner with you, that you get to kiss me goodnight almost every single night.” Did she sound whiny? If so, too bad. She felt whiny. And angry. How could he take a job in Nashville? “That’s not going to happen if you’re in Nashville and I’m in Chattanooga. Do you expect me to just sit around waiting for you to have time to come home or that I’m going to be commuting back and forth to Nashville between shifts?”
He regarded her for long moments, his expression guarded. “I don’t expect you to do either.”
What he was saying hit her.
A knife twisted in her heart and she instantly rejected the idea.
That couldn’t be what he meant.
Of course that was what he was saying. That he’d not even mentioned he was thinking about moving, about taking a different job, that she hadn’t warranted that tidbit of information, spoke volumes. He was breaking up with her.
“You’ve never mentioned that you planned to move.” Her words sounded lame even to herself. So what? She was reeling.
Reeling.
Maybe he meant for her to go with him. Maybe he wasn’t ending things. Maybe she’d jumped to all the wrong conclusions when he’d said he was leaving. Maybe he looked so stressed because he was worried she wouldn’t go with him.
The reality was she didn’t want to move to Nashville. She loved her job and coworkers at Chattanooga Memorial Hospital. She wanted to stay in her hometown, to be near her family, her friends, all the things that were familiar. She wanted to raise her baby near her home, where her child would grow up knowing her family and being surrounded by their love.
Her baby.
She was pregnant.
Charlie was leaving.
With obvious annoyance, he crossed his arms. “I never mentioned that I planned to stay, either.”
Ouch. Had she seen blood oozing from her chest, she wouldn’t have been surprised. His comment wounded that much.
“No,” she began, wondering how she could have been so terribly wrong about his feelings.
His eyes were narrowed, his tone almost accusing. “Nor have I ever implied that I would stay.”
He was right. He hadn’t. She’d been the one to make assumptions. Very wrong assumptions.
Her silence must have gotten to him because he paced across the room, then turned to her with a reproving look.
“Good grief, Savannah. I’ve taken a job that’s a wonderful opportunity. Be happy for me.”
Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Instead of telling him what he wanted to hear, she shook her head. “No, I’m not going to say I’m happy for you. Not when this news came about the way it did. We’ve been involved for months. You should have told me you planned to move. I deserved a warning about something so big. For that matter, we should have discussed this before you made that decision.”
His jaw worked back and forth. “I don’t have to have your permission to move or take a different job, Savannah.”
If she weren’t sitting on the sofa, she’d likely have staggered back from his verbal blow. Truly, there must be a gaping hole in her chest because her very heart had been yanked from her body. “Agreed. You don’t.”
“I never meant for you to think I’d stay in Chattanooga, or that I wanted to stay.”
She interpreted that as he’d never meant for her to assume he was going to stay, or want to stay, with her.
She’d been such a fool. She’d believed he loved her, had believed the light in his eyes when he looked at her was love, the real deal. She’d just seen what she’d wanted to see. Whatever that look had been, she’d never seen or felt it with past boyfriends. Maybe she’d mistaken phenomenal sexual chemistry with love. She wouldn’t be the first woman to have done so in the history of the world.
Devastation and anger competed for priority in her betrayed head.
She met his gaze and refused to look away, despite how much staring into his dark eyes hurt. They were ending. She’d thought everything had been so perfect and he’d been planning their end. “I think you should leave,” she began, knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to hold her grief in much longer and not wanting him to witness her emotional breakdown.
She was going to break down. Majorly.
He started to say something but, shoulders straight, chin tilted upward, she stopped him.
“That you made this decision without involving me tells me everything I need to know about our relationship, Charlie. We aren’t on the same page and apparently never were. My bad. Now that I know we don’t want the same things from our relationship, there is no relationship. I want you to leave. We’re through.”
There. She’d been the first one to say the words out loud. Sure, he’d been dancing all around the truth of it, but she’d put them out there.
Not once since she’d seen that little blue line appear had she considered that he wouldn’t be happy about the news...that he wouldn’t be there for their child.
That he wouldn’t be there, period.
