Читать книгу Bombshell For The Black Sheep - Джанис Мейнард, Janice Maynard - Страница 12
ОглавлениеNobody said a word. As Hartley watched, Fiona’s face turned bright red. There was no way to avoid land mines with this family around the table. To her, it must have seemed like an innocuous question.
Jonathan spoke up, his smile careful but kind. “It’s a little early to be thinking about those decisions. This was our father’s fortress, his safe place. He didn’t ever tell me what he wanted to do with the house when he was gone, and I didn’t ask. I’m sure the lawyers will guide us through probate.”
Suddenly, Hartley had reached his limit. They were all on their best behavior because of the funeral, but one thing was certain. Jonathan wasn’t opening his arms to let Hartley back into the fold. The unspoken message was clear. Hartley had walked away, and true forgiveness was in short supply.
He stood abruptly. “It was good to see you all. Thanks for the meal. I’d like to take Fiona for a walk on the beach, and then we’ll head out.”
Mazie looked stricken. “Are you leaving town again?”
Again, that awkward silence.
Hartley shook his head slowly. “No. I’m back for good.” There was so much he wanted to explain...so many family secrets to unravel. But how could he upend his siblings’ lives for no other reason than to justify his own behavior? It wasn’t fair to anyone. Maybe he would never tell them.
Fiona stood as well. “It was lovely to meet all of you. Sorry it was not under better circumstances.”
Moments later, the ordeal was over.
Outside in the driveway, Hartley looked down at Fiona’s shoes. “You can’t walk in those on the beach.”
“Barefoot is fine.” She slipped off her sandals and tossed them in the car, adding her small clutch purse as well.
Hartley removed his jacket, tie, shoes and socks, feeling as if he were peeling away layers of frustration and grief. He had always loved the beach, and this house in particular. “The ground is rough between here and the gate,” he said. “Get on my back, and I’ll carry you to the sand.”
Fiona looked at him askance. “I can walk.”
He ground his jaw. “It’s a piggyback ride, not foreplay.”
“Don’t get snippy with me, Hartley. I’m not the enemy.”
She was right. He couldn’t let Fiona bear the brunt of his mood. “Sorry,” he muttered. “Climb on.”
He watched as she shimmied her skirt up her thighs. Maybe he was wrong about the foreplay. Fiona’s legs were enough to keep a man awake at night. When she moved behind him, he hitched her up on his back and curled his hands beneath her warm, supple thighs.
Fortunately for his self-control, the path beneath the house and out to the gate was not far. Fee reached around him to disengage the lock, and soon they were at the water’s edge. He let her slide off his back slowly, steadying her with one hand as she stumbled.
There was no moon. The water seemed dark and menacing. But the whoosh and roar of the waves was a familiar lullaby from his childhood.
He tried to empty his mind of all the sorrow and confusion that had consumed him since he heard the news that his father was dead. Gradually, the inexorable pattern of the tide soothed him.
Fiona stood at his side in silence, her presence both a comfort and a niggling frustration. Twice now, he had made love to her and walked away. The first time, he’d had no choice. The second, he’d been reluctant to embroil her in his family drama. Maybe he sensed that he was using Fiona as a crutch. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to let her get inside his head. In both instances, his behavior was logical if not particularly admirable. But what was going to happen moving forward?
If he still wanted to sleep with Fee, and he did, most emphatically, then he needed not only her absolution, but also some notion of what was ahead for him professionally. Anything beyond that was more than he wanted to contemplate right now.
Almost as if she had read his mind, Fiona spoke softly. “What do you do for a living, Hartley? We’ve flirted and slept together, but I don’t really know much about you at all.”
Her question prodded an unseen wound. He cleared his throat. “Well, before I left Charleston for an extended period, I was a full partner in Tarleton Shipping. We were working on a proposal to add a boatbuilding arm...pleasure craft. That whole deal was going to be my baby.”
“And now?”
He shrugged. “I doubt my brother has any interest in working with me after everything that has happened.”
“Because of this mysterious falling-out?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “Jonathan is one of the finest men I’ve ever known. A straight arrow all the way. But as alike as we are physically, our personalities don’t always mesh.”
“Why did you not live at the beach house?”
“I got tired of butting heads with my father over the business. Jonathan had a knack for handling him with kid gloves. Dad and I only yelled at each other. Several years ago I bought an investment property at a premier golf community north of the city. I was the one who would wine and dine clients. Play a few rounds with them on the course. I liked being outdoors, even if golf wasn’t really my thing. But I closed deals and grew the business.”
“Who has done that while you’ve been gone?”
It was a simple question. Not meant to inflict pain. But it hit at the heart of his guilt. “I don’t know.” Fiona hadn’t been the only one he hurt when he’d hared off to Europe. He’d left behind his family and the shipping business and cut all contact. He’d had his reasons. In retrospect, though, he honestly didn’t know if he’d done the right thing.
Fiona moved restlessly. “The beach is lovely, Hartley. I really do need to get home, though.”
“I promised you explanations. It’s late. I don’t suppose I could sleep on your sofa?” He threw it out there hopefully. Fiona’s little house represented the peace and comfort he had lost in this last year.
“No,” she said bluntly. Without another word, she started up the beach toward the gate in the high brick wall.
“Fair enough.” He loped up the incline and scooped her into his arms. It was a tougher slog through the loose sand this way, but he persevered. He needed to hold her.
Fiona didn’t fight him. As soon as they were back at the car, though, she insisted on wriggling out of his embrace. After smoothing her hair and brushing the sand from her feet, she put on her sexy sandals.
Then she stood, hands on her hips, and watched him re-dress. “You don’t owe me explanations. I told you that.”
He rounded the car and cupped her face in his hands. Lightly. Gently. “I want to tell you, Fee. And in the spirit of honesty, I’d like to sleep with you again.”
“Sleep?”
She had him there. “Sex,” he muttered. Even to his own ears, he sounded like a jerk. But he wouldn’t dress it up. He couldn’t offer her anything more. His life was total chaos. Besides, Fiona would demand full-on honesty and intimacy from any man who shared her life for the long haul. That wasn’t him.
Her expression was mutinous. In the glow of the security light, the stubborn tilt to her chin was obvious. “Sex isn’t the answer to all your problems, Hartley.”
“Maybe not, but it would be damned good, and if you’re honest, you’ll agree. I know I messed up. I won’t do that to you again.”
“How can I believe you?” Her low laugh held a hint of dismay. “It’s a painful cliché, but I’m a kid who came through the foster system. Never got adopted. I have a few abandonment issues. Your recent behavior hasn’t helped.”
How many women would have the guts to be so vulnerable? He had a lot to answer for and no clear idea how to fix the messes he had created. “I want to kiss you, Fee,” he muttered. “But I’m trying my damnedest to respect your boundaries.”
Tears glittered in her eyelashes. She sniffed. “Shut up and do it, you aggravating man.”
It was all the invitation he needed. He wanted to snatch her up and take everything she had to give. Instead, he kissed her coaxingly, softly. Trying to tell her without words how much he regretted his missteps.
Fiona made a choked little noise in her throat and finally kissed him back. When her slender arms curled around his neck, he felt as if he had won the lottery. She was soft and perfect against his chest. He lifted her off her feet, desperate to make the kiss last.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “So sorry I hurt you.”
“You’re forgiven. Doesn’t mean I’m a glutton for punishment.” She pushed away from him after a few seconds. Reluctantly, he let her go.
“So, what now?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing. At least not today. Or even tomorrow. Twice, I let you talk your way into my bed like I was a sixteen-year-old girl with her first crush. That was my mistake. I make no guarantees, Hartley. None.”
He rolled his shoulders, realizing ruefully that he had been a little unrealistic about where this evening might lead. Even if he’d been saying all the right things, apparently his libido had jumped ahead to more titillating scenarios. “Understood,” he sighed.
He started the engine and waited for her to climb into the front seat. The ocean breeze had tousled her hair. It stood up around her head like a nimbus, making her a weary goddess...or a naughty nymph.
Which did he want? The angel or the sexy sprite? In his imagination, she was both.
He turned the radio on for the drive back to Charleston. As they pulled away from his father’s home, Hartley glanced in the rearview mirror. Jonathan stood at the top of the stairs, his arms folded across his chest.
Seeing his brother tonight had been surprisingly painful. After all this time, Hartley had been hoping Jonathan might have relented...that he had come to know instinctively that Hartley would never do anything to bring harm to his family.
But apparently, some hurts ran deep. Jonathan wasn’t wiping the slate clean. In fact, he hadn’t made any mention of the future at all. Hartley was on his own.
When they reached Fiona’s street, she gathered her purse and started to climb out as soon as the car rolled to a halt. He took her wrist. “Wait, Fee. Please.”
Her body language was wary. “What?”
“Let me take you to lunch tomorrow. I’ll tell you the whole story, start to finish.” He needed to tell someone. The secrets were gutting him. But his family was off-limits until he decided whether or not the truth would be too damaging. Fiona was a neutral player.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said.
“Dinner, then?” He was close to begging on his knees.
She hesitated for far too long. “Fine. But if this story is as convoluted as it seems, we should eat at my house. I’ll fix spaghetti.”
“I want to treat you,” he said.
“You can’t spill salacious secrets in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Besides, this isn’t a date, Hartley. You seem to have a need to bare your soul, and I’ve agreed to listen. That’s all.”
“You’re a hard woman.”
“It’s about time, don’t you think?”
“I remember what it’s like to make love to you, Fee. You can’t blame a guy for wanting to re-create the magic.”
“The magic is gone. You killed it.”
Her words were harsh, but she was still sitting in his car. He took that as a good sign. “I love spaghetti,” he said. “What time?”
“Six o’clock. Don’t assume you’ll be able to coax me into letting you spend the night. That’s off the table.”
“Yes, ma’am. You’re cute when you’re busting my balls.”
“Grow up, Hartley. I’m immune to you now.”
I’m immune to you now. Fiona had never told a bigger lie in her life. She slept poorly and woke up the following morning disturbed by the vivid dreams that had plagued her. Being with Hartley again kindled a hunger in her belly that no homemade spaghetti was going to fill. She wanted him. Still. After everything he had done. It was a shocking realization.
Despite her unsettled mood, she was a professional artist. That meant working regular hours even when her muse had taken a hike. Today was a case in point. It was harder than it should have been to concentrate on her new project...three massive panels that would hang in one of the main rooms of Charleston’s visitor center.
Commissions like this one were her bread and butter. They paid the light bill and kept food in the fridge. But they weren’t humdrum. Never that. She poured her heart and soul into every brushstroke.
Because of the size of the canvases, she’d had to buy a special easel that held the work in progress secure. At certain moments, she would have to stand on a ladder to complete the highest portions. Her sketch—the one the city had approved—included historical images all the way from Charleston’s founding up until modern times.
A giant undulating current swept through the center of each panel, propelling the milestones of progress from decade to decade. Included in the visual telling were some very painful periods in time. She could see the finished product in her mind. The challenge she faced was being able to successfully translate her vision into reality.
It was her habit to paint for a couple of hours when she first awoke and then take a break for coffee and a light brunch. After that, she would typically labor for another five or six hours and quit for the day. Hard work and determination had brought her to this place in her career. She was conscious that her success was based on a great many things beyond her control, so she was determined to make the most of her current success.
This morning, though, she found herself swamped with inexplicable fatigue and a draining lethargy that forced her to go in search of calories after only forty-five minutes in her studio.
In the kitchen, an unexpected déjà vu brought her up short. She and Hartley had stood in this very spot and made bacon and eggs amidst much laughter and many hot, hungry kisses.
She put a hand to her chest, trying to still the flutters of anxiety. Hartley wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Her problem was far closer to home. It was her. Fiona. The woman with the deep-seated need for love and acceptance.
Hartley made her happy, but more than that, he made her wish and dream, and that was dangerous.
The fact that she had slept with him twice was no big deal. They’d had fun. Their sexual chemistry was off the charts. He was smart and kind and amusing, and she had never met a more appealing man.
But it was the long view that worried her. Like the deadly undertow out at the beach, Hartley had the power to drag her under...to tear apart the life she had built for herself. She was proud of her independence. She didn’t lean on any man for support.
The danger lay in the fact that without even trying, he made her want to throw caution to the wind. When she was with him—and also when she wasn’t—the smart, careful, cautious side of her brain shut down.
Even now, all she could think about was how much she wanted to share a bed with him again. Naked and wanton. Losing herself in the elemental rush of sexual desire. Hartley made her alive. And she loved it.
But with great joy came the potential for great heartbreak.
With the way she was feeling, it was too much trouble to cook anything. Instead, she opted for cereal and a banana. A cup of hot tea warmed her cold fingers. When she was done with breakfast, she carried a second serving of tea to the living room and curled up on the couch.
Cradling the china cup in her hands, she debated calling off tonight’s dinner. Who was she kidding? If Hartley came over, she would sleep with him. Wouldn’t she? Did she have it in her to say no?
Sitting here alone, it was easy to see all the problems.
The Tarletons were Charleston royalty. They and J.B.’s family, the Vaughans, had endowed libraries and funded hospital wings and sat on the boards of half a dozen philanthropic organizations across the city. Their bloodlines went back to pre–civil war times.
Fiona appreciated her own worth, but she was a pragmatist. Hartley appeared to have the attention span of a moth. He was interested in Fiona at the moment, because his life was in crisis. And because they had shared a couple of encounters that had all the earmarks of a romantic comedy.
Life wasn’t like that, though. In the long run, the chances that he would actually come to love Fiona were slim. Maybe she was his flavor of the month right now, but when the novelty paled, he would be off on another adventure, with another woman, and Fiona might be left with a broken heart if she were foolish enough to fall for him.
Despite all her hashing and rehashing of the facts, she couldn’t bring herself to text him and say don’t come. How pathetic was that? She desperately wanted to see him. And then, of course, there was her curiosity about where he had been all these months.
He had never struck her as a liar. If he had explanations to make today, she had a hunch they would be true. Fantastical maybe, but true.
She finished her tea and stood, only to have the room whirl drunkenly.
With a little gasp, she reached behind her for the arm of the sofa and sat down gingerly. Had she poured bad milk in her cereal? Her stomach flipped and flopped. What was going on?
Five minutes later, she tried again. This time the familiar outlines of her furniture stayed put, but the nausea grew worse. At the last moment, she made a dash for the bathroom and threw up, emptying her stomach again and again until she was so weak she could barely stagger to her bedroom.
She curled up in the center of the mattress, shaking and woozy, and pulled the edge of the comforter over her.
Then it hit her. A possibility that had never once crossed her mind...though it should have. Was she pregnant? She’d had these odd episodes for several weeks now...had written them off as a virus or inner ear trouble or low blood sugar.
Her heart hammered in her chest. Her periods were not regular...never had been. At her gynecologist’s urging, Fiona typically noted them on a paper calendar she kept in the bedside table.
When she thought she could move without barfing, she reached for the drawer, extracted what she needed and stared numbly at the unmarked boxes. Back one month. Then two. Then three. At last, she found it. A brief notation in her own handwriting. She’d had her period about ten days before Hartley last showed up at her house.
Dear Lord.
He’d used protection. Hadn’t even balked at the idea when she told him she wasn’t on the pill. In fact, he’d used protection that night after the wedding, too. He’d been a generous, thoughtful lover.
But no method of birth control was 100 hundred percent. And now that she thought about it, three months ago, they had made love multiple times during the night when they were both half-asleep. Had they messed up? Was there one of those times when his body had claimed hers skin to skin?
Her teeth started to chatter. She couldn’t tell him. Not yet. Not until she was sure. He was going to be at her house in a few hours. With a moan of mortification, she buried her face in the pillow.
Yet even as she trembled with fear, excitement and happiness bloomed in her chest. A baby? Was she really pregnant? This could be the future she had always dreamed of...the family she so desperately wanted.
Hartley didn’t have to be involved, but he had to be told.
