Читать книгу Calling Home - Janna McMahan - Страница 12

Squirrels ran around a spotted sycamore, their claws scratching and scratching the scaly bark. Suddenly, they leapt to a sweet gum branch and sticky pods dropped, leaving thin hollow tunnels in the snow.

“Look—mistletoe.” Kerry pointed to green bunched high in bare branches. “Gimme a kiss.”

“If you teach me how to drive,” Shannon said.

“Sure enough. We could practice in that field.” He pointed to a pasture where a couple of dozen Herefords stood motionless in white up to their knees. “That way, you couldn’t run over nothing.”

She brushed her lips lightly across his cheek.

“Well, that’s the sorriest kiss I ever did get,” he said.

She laughed swirls of steam. Kerry had been coming around for supper a night or two each week. They had sneaked around last fall, but after Christmas they started dating and Virginia did nothing to stop them. Her mother had sort of let go now that Aunt Patsy lived with them and their dad wasn’t around anymore.

“I get my learner’s permit this summer.”

“If you pass the test.”

“Like I won’t pass that test.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to be a senior next year.”

“I know. Everybody else in my class is already driving. Almost makes me wish I hadn’t skipped a grade.”

“You’re so smart you couldn’t help it.” Kerry pushed his hand underneath her jacket and brushed his gloves against her breasts.

“Stop it. That’s cold!”

“Okay. Get on top of me.” He grinned. “I always wanted to say that.”

“Shut up and get on the sled.”

“Okay, here goes.”

Kerry lay on the sled and gripped the front steering shaft. Shannon climbed on his back and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Don’t choke me.”

“Sorry.”

“You ready?”

“Go.”

They jiggled and scooted to make the sled inch forward. Kerry put his hands in the snow and pushed. They finally dropped over the edge and when gravity grabbed them Shannon squealed. The sled cut around a limestone outcropping and through a stand of gnarled black cherry trees. When they broke into the clearing at the bottom of the hill, they were airborne for a second. Freezing wind stung their eyes. They shot toward the creek in the bottom.

“Look out! Stop!” Shannon yelled.

Kerry dug the toes of his boots into the snow and cut a hard right to prevent them from sliding into the ice-edged water.

They flopped off the sled into the snow, laughing, their hearts throbbing.

“That was great!” Shannon said.

“Come on, let’s do it again.”

“Okay.”

Kerry pulled the sled up the hill. Shannon trudged behind. They stopped halfway up to catch their breath.

“The trees look like capillaries,” she said.

“What?”

“Capillaries.” The open sky tinted the rolling hills of snow a soft blue and she imagined it was the earth’s skin with pale veins snaking beneath the surface.

“You say the strangest things.”

“Go on,” she said, pointing up the hill.

When they reached the top they collapsed on the sled to rest. “That’s my papaw’s old place.” Kerry pointed to a crumbling structure in the distance. “We house tobacco there some now. Over there will be my land when I graduate. Think I’ll grow some soybeans and see what happens.”

“Lots of people are doing that. Crop rotation is supposed to be good for the soil.”

“What do you know about crop rotation?”

“I know about erosion and soil depletion and all kinds of stuff. I pay attention in class, unlike some people I know.”

“Boy, ain’t that the truth. I should pay more attention. Dad said if I wanted to go to UK and major in Ag that he’d pay.”

“You should take him up on it.”

“I’m tired of school.”

“Agriculture is turning big business.”

“Yeah, I know. You want to live on a farm?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t planned on it. Guess it would depend on what kind of farm and where it was. I wouldn’t mind living on a horse farm in Lexington.”

“Shit. I guess not.”

She laughed. “You ready to go down again?”

“Wait a minute,” Kerry said. “I want to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“You’re my girl, right?”

“You know I am.”

“Well, everybody got class rings last week and I wasn’t going to get one.”

“I know. You told me. Waste of money.”

“But I thought about it and decided that maybe I needed one. I mean, one for you to wear.”

He pulled off a glove and reached into the pocket of his jeans. He held out a thick gold ring with a red crest and a tiny gold cardinal in the middle.

“Will you go with me?” he asked.

Shannon stared at him, then at the ring, then at a flock of birds that trailed across the sky. She had hoped that they would continue to date, but not make this commitment.

“Come on, Shannon. Don’t turn me down.” He looked truly hurt.

“I’m not turning you down. I was looking at it, silly.”

She tried the ring on, but it was too large for even her thumb.

“It doesn’t fit,” she said.

“That’s okay. We’ll find a way to make it work.”

Shannon unhooked her necklace. She strung the ring onto the chain and slid it down into her sweater.

“Oh, it’s cold.”

“Leave it out then.”

“Not yet. I don’t want to tell anybody just yet.”

Later that night, as they watched television in her basement, Shannon ran Kerry’s ring back and forth along the chain making a zipping sound. When she let the ring fall back to her chest she was aware of its weight. Eddie Van Halen’s guitar screeched, and lights flashed from the television. David Lee Roth whirled in the air and came down on the end note with a flourish. “That was the energetic chords of Van Halen with their 1978 hit single, ‘Runnin’ With the Devil’,” Don Kershner said in his monotone voice. “Next up on ‘Don Kershner’s Rock Concert’ is their number one hit, ‘You Really Got Me’ from last year’s self-titled album.”

“Those boys have some big hair,” Kerry said. They were slouched down on the couch, holding hands over a half-empty bowl of popcorn.

Shannon stretched like a kitten. “I like them. I’d like to go see them, but Momma would never let me go.”

“Didn’t Will go see the Stones last year?”

“Yeah, but she won’t let me, I bet.”

“I don’t blame her. Too many drugs and orgies in the parking lot.”

“How would you know, farm boy?”

Kerry moved the popcorn bowl and pushed Shannon back and kissed her. His hand crept under her blouse. “You’re so soft,” he said. She squirmed under his touch and her nipples grew hard.

“Shannon, I love you,” he whispered into her ear. She kissed him back; the bitter taste of beer and the sweetness of tobacco mingled in their mouths. He touched her stomach and she moaned. He ran his hand down between her legs.

“Kerry, stop it!” She pushed him away.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, Shannon. I just thought—”

“You just thought what? You thought if you gave me a ring that I would do that?”

“No. I mean, yes, I was kind of hoping. Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” He stood up, walked away, turned back, shrugged. “I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it until you said you were ready.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I just can’t do that. We talked about limits and that’s definitely it.”

“Okay. I understand.”

She touched the ring dangling from her necklace. “Do you want this back?”

“No. That’s not why I gave it to you.”

“You sure?”

“I read you wrong is all. I thought you wanted to.”

“I want to, but I can’t. You have to respect that. I just can’t.”

“Okay. You tell me when you’re ready. No pressure.”

“Okay.”

Kerry reached into his shirt pocket and found a cigarette. He smoked while he searched for something good to say. The picture on the television jerked sideways and he twisted the knob on the antenna box a click to the left and the picture became solid.

“Have you told your momma yet?” he asked.

“Not yet.”

“You going to?”

“I don’t see why we have to tell anybody right now. It’s kind of fun having a secret.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

“You better tell her, because if you tell that blabbermouth Pam, everybody at school will know by the end of the day.”

The next morning, it took three feet of her aunt’s baby blue yarn, wrapped around and around the back of the ring, before it fit her. Shannon examined her work. It looked silly on her finger, but then that was the point, wasn’t it? To wear a ring so big that nobody could help but notice it. She had considered wearing the ring on the chain around her neck so she could tuck it inside her clothes, but Shannon knew her mother would find out. You couldn’t keep a secret in this town.

So this is what it was like to have somebody lay claim to you. Shannon twisted the key in the bottom of her pink jewelry box, and the small ballerina twirled around on pointe. The sticker on the bottom of the box said it was from The Nutcracker Ballet. She flipped open her notepad and scribbled, “Nutcracker” underneath “entrepreneur” and “flan.”

Shannon opened her hope chest and took out a quilt her grandmother had given her. “Put it in your hope chest for when you get married,” her granny had said. Instead of filling her chest with things for marriage, Shannon had filled it with books. She kept all her schoolbooks, even the ones from subjects she disliked. She dragged books home from the county library that were discarded from holdings or were unneeded donations. She had snatched a good dictionary and a book of famous quotations from the discard box last week. She didn’t like the Harlequin Romances that most women read, but she liked aching love stories like The Great Gatsby, Jane Eyre, and Wuthering Heights. She wanted a copy of Gone With the Wind, but a free one hadn’t turned up yet. She also liked unusual literature, and read horror by Stephen King and crazy stories by John Irving and disturbing work by Sylvia Plath and J. D. Salinger.

Shannon unfolded the quilt and removed a sparkling tiara. She piled her hair up on her head, put the crown on, and splayed her blonde curls out around it. “Here she is,” Shannon hummed. “Miss America.” When she was five, Shannon had been Little Miss Rural Electric. She had the clipping of her win in her scrapbook along with all her 4-H awards, the time she was chosen as the conservation poster contest winner in fifth grade, even every time her name appeared in a list for honor roll. Shannon had tacked her seventeen blue ribbons from 4-H and drama and speech club up on her bulletin board and her small trophies were lined up neatly across the top of her dresser. But Shannon hid the tiara because she didn’t want Will teasing her about it.

“Shannon!” her mother called. “Breakfast!”

“Yes, ma’am. Be right down.” Shannon wrapped the tiara back in the quilt and placed it inside the chest. She put the ring on her finger and thought about Kerry in his perfectly pressed jeans with the faded crease down the front and his starched shirts and his navy Future Farmers of America jacket with the gold emblem on the front. He was so controlled, so sure of what he wanted. But Shannon was off in so many directions that sometimes he looked at her like she was from another country, like she was speaking French or Russian.

It really wasn’t fair that she had taken his ring. She had dreaded the day when he would make the offer. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him. Kerry was cute and he was sweet to her, but Shannon knew his intentions were different from hers. All she wanted was to have a good time while she was stuck in this town, but she suspected Kerry saw something of a future for them—a future that would never develop. She was using him, but then again, she suspected he knew this and was gambling on a different outcome, at least one that involved sex.

Forks clanked against plates and coffee perked as Shannon descended the stairs. She slid into her chair and held her hand in her lap.

“Pass the eggs around, please, Shannon,” Virginia said. Shannon needed both hands to pick up the heavy platter. When Will took the plate, Shannon’s hand dropped, clunking the ring against the table.

“Good Lord, girl. Let me see what you got on that finger,” Patsy said.

Shannon held it up. “Kerry gave it to me.”

“That’s so nice. He’s a nice boy. Ain’t that nice, Virginia?” Patsy said.

Virginia puckered her lips.

“What does that mean, Shannon?” Patsy asked. “Does that mean you’re steadies now?”

“Sure,” Shannon said, cheerfully. “Kerry’s teaching me how to drive this morning. I’ll take my learner’s permit this summer, then Kerry’s going to let me drive home from school in the fall.”

“Brave man,” Will said.

“You’re going to work today, I see,” Virginia said to her son.

Patsy winked at Shannon and kept eating.

“I wanted to work today. I need the money. Jim says I can work any holiday and every Saturday I don’t have a game, and some Sundays. He’s got that contract for the new subdivision over by the lake. Fifteen houses.”

“It’s wonderful that you’re learning a trade. Electricians make good money,” Patsy said. “But you shouldn’t work on Sunday. That’s the Lord’s day.”

“Yeah, well,” Will said. “Jim’s being good to me. He’s cutting me slack on game days because he used to play ball.”

“I remember. We went to school together,” Virginia said.

“Really?” Will said.

Patsy laughed. “Your momma had a big crush on Jim Pickett.”

“Shoot,” Virginia said. “Every girl in school had a crush on Jim.”

“He’s not still married to Mary Jane is he?” Pasty asked.

“No, they got divorced years ago. Never had any kids. Some people say that’s why they broke up.”

“Since you’re so interested in Jim,” Will said, “you’d better go get fixed up because he’s coming by to pick me up this morning.”

“What? When?” Virginia said.

“About now.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Virginia said. “You know I wouldn’t want anybody to see me in this old nightgown.”

“Better scramble, Mom.” Will grinned.

“Let me tell you something.” Virginia scraped her plate into the trash. “There’s two things in this old world more trouble than they’re worth. That’s men and fireplaces. I don’t need either one ever again.”

There was a knock and they all froze. Virginia touched her hair.

“Too late, Mom,” Will whispered.

“Momma, it’s Kerry,” Shannon said and slapped her brother on the arm.

“I know that.” Virginia opened the kitchen door and said, “Come in the house. Get out of the cold.”

“Hey there, Miss Virginia.” Kerry stepped inside and nodded slightly to the table. “Aunt Patsy.”

Virginia smoothed her hair and put her hand on her hip and said calmly, “Want a ham biscuit?”

“That’d be great.”

The three at the table broke out in laughter. Eggs flew out of Patsy’s mouth, which made them all laugh harder.

“What’s so funny?” Kerry asked.

“They all think they’re so cute this morning,” Virginia said. She handed him a biscuit.

“Thank you.” Kerry took a bite and said, “It’s real good. Shannon, you ready to go?”

Shannon still had a smile when she pulled on her red wool school jacket and headed out on a run. “’Bye, Momma!” she said over her shoulder.

“Be careful with my little girl,” Virginia called.

Icicles trickled water from eaves, making pools along the side of the house and shed. All the trees were dripping. Kerry stopped and kicked chunks of muddy ice from the wheel wells of his truck. Ugly brown snow packed into a jagged wall along the road shoulder.

“Did you tell her?” Kerry asked.

Shannon held up her hand to show his ring. “It was no big deal. Like she was expecting it or something.”

“Good.”

When they reached his farm, Kerry drove across eight thick round pipes over a culvert that served as a cattle gate. When he reached a wide-open space, he cut the motor and scooted the bench seat forward. Shannon slid under the steering wheel, while Kerry walked around to the passenger side. Sun glared off the few remaining spots of white in the field. Only shadows still held solid blocks of snow.

“Give me your keys.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. You know anything about driving a standard?”

“I can drive a tractor. It can’t be that different.”

“Push in on the brake pedal and the clutch and then pop that emergency brake.”

Shannon pressed both her feet down on the pedals and pulled the handle on the brake. The truck gave a slight bump. Cows watched with sleepy curiosity as Shannon cranked the engine.

“The ground’s real soggy right now. Don’t tear up my field.”

“I won’t.”

“You don’t want to give it too much gas or you’ll spin out. But if you don’t give it enough the engine’ll die.”

“How do I know how much is right?”

“It’s a feel thing. Something you got to learn. It takes a certain touch. Now let on out on the clutch and ease down on the gas.”

Shannon held her breath and slowly switched the pressure she applied with her feet. The truck lurched. Shannon cried, “Oh!” as they pitched forward and the truck sputtered and died.

“What did I do wrong?”

Kerry laughed. “Give it more gas next time. And turn the wheel that way so you don’t run over my cows.”