Читать книгу Unaccompanied - Javier Zamora - Страница 14

Cassette Tape

A

To cross México we’re packed in boats

twenty aboard, eighteen hours straight to Oaxaca.

Vomit and gasoline keep us up. At 5 a.m.

we get to shore, we run to the trucks, cops

rob us down the road — without handcuffs,

our guide gets in their Ford and we know

it’s all been planned. Not one peso left

so we get desperate — Diosito, forgive us

for hiding in trailers. We sleep in Nogales till

our third try when finally I meet Papá Javi.

»

Mamá, you left me. Papá, you left me.

Abuelos, I left you. Tías, I left you.

Cousins, I’m here. Cousins, I left you.

Tías, welcome. Abuelos, we’ll be back soon.

Mamá, let’s return. Papá ¿por qué?

Mamá, marry for papers. Papá, marry for papers.

Tías, abuelos, cousins, be careful.

I won’t marry for papers. I might marry for papers.

I won’t be back soon. I can’t vote anywhere,

I will etch visas on toilet paper and throw them from a lighthouse.

«

When I saw the coyote —

I didn’t want to go

but parents had already paid.

I want to pour their sweat,

each step they took,

and braid a rope.

I want that cord

to swing us back to our terracota roof.

No, I wanted to sleep

in my parents’ apartment.

B

You don’t need more than food,

a roof, and clothes on your back.

I’d add Mom’s warmth, the need

for war to stop. Too many dead

cops, too many tattooed dead.

¿Does my country need more of us

to flee with nothing but a bag?

Corrupt cops shoot “gangsters”

from armored cars. Javiercito,

parents say, we’ll send for you soon.

»

Last night, Mom wanted to listen to “Lulu’s Mother,”

a song she plays for the baby she babysits.

I don’t know why this song gets to me, she said, then:

“Ahhhh Lu-lu-lu-lu / don’t you cry / Mom-ma won’t go / a-way /

Ahhhh Lu-lu-lu-lu / don’t you cry / Pop-pa won’t go / a-way. . .”

It’s mostly other nannies in the class; it’s supposed to help

with the babies’ speech development, she says, mijo,

sorry for leaving. I wish I could’ve taken you to music classes.

She reached over, crying. Mom, you can sing to me now,

was all I could say, you can sing to me now.