Читать книгу Asa - Jay Crownover - Страница 11

My adrenaline was crashing. Partly from the lack of sleep and the excessive workout in the gym, but mostly from being burned alive from the inside out by Asa. I knew that once he let me get close enough to touch, I wasn’t going to be able to stop. There was just something about him, some kind of lure that pulled at me when I was around him that was too hard to fight against.

I wasn’t exactly shy, but I also wasn’t the type to just stick my hand in a guy’s pants and go for the gold either. Asa pushed me against all of my boundaries, made me forget that there were consequences to my actions, and I loved every single thing about it. I loved that when I was close enough to breathe him in, he was all I could feel, and I loved the way his glimmering amber eyes seemed to see everything I was trying so hard to hide. They were hot enough to melt the hardest metal and I was far from being forged out of steel and iron at the moment. I felt like I was made of paper and fluff.

I had every intention of just dropping him off at the hospital and going home to try and pretend to sleep. The ride to the hospital passed in absolute silence and I could see the way the muscles in his chiseled jaw were clenching and unclenching as we got closer. I wasn’t sure if it had to do with me or with the impending new addition, but it was clear he was lost in his own head and I wasn’t allowed inside. Whatever he was musing on it wasn’t making him too happy. I could tell even in the dark of the car as his eyes shifted from their normally burnished gold color to a much darker and heavier brown.

I pulled to a stop in front of the massive medical building and waited for him to climb out. I wasn’t going to say anything, figuring I had gotten myself into enough trouble for one night, but he cocked his head to the side and turned in his seat a little to look at me questioningly.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

My hands curled around the steering wheel involuntarily and I blinked at him in confusion.

“Why would I?”

I was tight with Saint and I really liked Nash, he was pretty much the nicest guy ever, but I hardly knew Shaw, and Rome’s wife, Cora, kind of scared the crap out of me. I got along fine with Salem, her no-bullshit attitude was awesome, and I liked that she always spoke her mind. Plus, when her sister had been abducted, I was the first person she turned to and that created a lasting bond between the two of us. But I was pretty sure Ayden was going to show up in no time flat, and I really didn’t want to be around when she did. Yes, she had apologized for losing her shit and being a stone-cold bitch to me when she found out I was the one that had arrested Asa, and I believe she meant it, but I had no plans on hanging out and making a happy situation awkward. I hadn’t seen Ayden since the day she bailed Asa out of jail, and I was in no hurry to have a reunion. Especially if I couldn’t manage to keep the way I felt about her troublesome brother on lockdown.

I knew instinctively she wouldn’t approve.

“Why wouldn’t you?” His drawl was so smooth, so velvet soft, as it wrapped around me. I just wanted him to whisper things to me in the dark forever.

“I’m friends with Saint and I adore Nash, but this is a big deal, something you share with family. I’m not part of that.”

He just stared at me and then grunted. “Go park. We’re going up together.”

I shook my head. “No, we’re not.”

I watched as the fire lit back up in his eyes and they switched back to their intoxicating whiskey color. “Fine.” He settled back in the seat, crossed his arms over his chest, and lifted a sandy-blond eyebrow at me. “If you don’t have to go up, then neither do I. You can drop me off back at the Bar.”

I gasped at him a little and narrowed my eyes at him. “Rome asked you to come. You should be inside right now, not arguing with me. You’re wanted up there.”

His mouth kicked up on the side, and I saw just how easy it was for him to charm people out of common sense. He was pretty day in and day out, but that grin had the devil and temptation in it, and it turned him into something otherworldly. No mere human looked that good after a full day of work and a bout of unfulfilled groping and fondling. It was obvious the path to every decadent sin led right through Asa Cross, and man oh man, did I want to race down it. I would never understand why he insisted on putting so many roadblocks in my way.

“Saint got in touch with you, so obviously someone wants you here. She’s shy and there is a lot of commotion to handle when this group gets excited about something. You ever stop and think maybe she needs you as her buffer?”

I cringed because I did know that. Saint loved Nash’s friends, was deeply immersed in their world and definitely accepted as part of the ramshackle family, but it was easy for her to get lost in the sea of strong, dominant personalities and she did like having me around to be her port in the storm. Only instead of wanting to be there for my friend, I wanted to run because I didn’t know if I could stand any more judgment coming my way. I had only been doing my job. I hadn’t wanted to be the one to put Asa in cuffs and take him in, but it had to be done and I unfortunately had to be the one to do it. I respected all of those ladies so much; seeing disappointment in their eyes when they looked at me might very well be the thing that tipped me over the edge of the cliff I was precariously holding on to at the moment.

I sighed because I could see that Asa was serious in his threat. Calling him every bad name in my head that I could think of, I wheeled the 4Runner into a parking spot and turned the engine off.

“You’re a manipulative jerk, you know that?”

He finally threw the door open and climbed out. The blast of winter air almost knocked me over and I remembered belatedly that all I had on was my gym clothes.

He walked around the front of the car and stopped when he reached my door. Without a word he pulled it open and put a hand on my arm and practically dragged me out. He shook his head when he saw how I was shivering, and took his big, heavy coat off and put it around my shoulders. It smelled like him and I wanted to cuddle into it and rub my face in the leather, but I was too busy glaring at him as he told me, “Now you’re catching on, Red.”

All he had on was a long-sleeved thermal, so I tried to hand the coat back to him, but he just grunted and put a hand on my lower back and guided me to the front doors. I blew out a breath that fogged up the air in front of us and told him quietly, “Your sister hates me. She’s gonna lose her mind when she shows up and sees me here with everyone.”

He chuckled and the sound sent chills racing all across my skin.

“Ayden is protective … of her friends, of her man, of me. She sometimes goes off before she thinks things all the way through. She doesn’t hate you. She hates that I’ve lived the kind of life that I have. In fact the only person she’s ever actually hated is me. That wasn’t the first time she’s had to come get me out of jail, and Lord only knows if it’ll be the last. She knows you were just doing your job, Royal. She just wants to save me. She’s always wanted to save me.”

I cut him a hard look out of the corner of my eye. “Why didn’t you say anything that day? Those kids jumped you, hurt you, and yet you just let us take you in with no complaint. Why?” I had wondered since the day Dom and I had been sent to the Bar to pick him up.

The hospital was busy. I was here enough that I knew the way to the labor and delivery unit without having to ask for directions. Asa followed along beside me without responding to my question. I thought he was just going to ignore me, until we got in the elevator and the doors swished closed. He turned and faced me, and that grin that turned his face into something I would dream about forever flashed at me.

“What’s the point? I’m always going to be the bad guy even when I’m not.”

I frowned. “You could have defended yourself. You were innocent. Those kids set you up.”

There was video proof of the fact, which had ultimately led to him being cleared of all the charges that were filed against him.

I started a little when he reached out and very gently ran the tip of his index finger over the line that had furrowed between my eyebrows as I scowled up at him.

“I’m not defending myself ever again. Not to my sister. Not to the police. Not to anyone. People are going to think what they want, and sadly most of those things that they think are going to be right about me. I’m guilty of a lot of bad shit, Royal. Most of it I never got caught for. Karma has a way of catching up with you, especially when you laughed in her face one too many times.”

I was baffled by his response and sort of stunned by the care in that simple touch.

“Are you telling me you would’ve been willing to go to jail for something you didn’t do as some sort of penance for all the other bad stuff you did in the past? That’s crazy, Asa.”

He just shrugged a shoulder and the doors swished open and we walked into a waiting room full of anxious and excited family and friends. I knew he was carrying around a barrel stuffed full of shame and remorse from his misdeeds of the past. What I hadn’t realized up until that very moment was that he was willing to let that barrel crush him rather than set it down and sort through its contents.

Saint was at the desk talking to the lady behind it. Rome was pacing back and forth in front of an older couple that I assumed had to be his and Rule’s parents since Shaw had almost no contact with her family; Salem was curled up in a ball on one of the chairs with her head on Rowdy’s shoulder; Nash was leaning against the wall with a baseball hat pulled low over his eyes; and Cora was nowhere to be seen.

I faltered a little bit when all eyes turned to us as we approached. At first I thought they were all wondering why I was there, but quickly realized that they were all wondering why Asa and I had shown up at the exact same time and that they were all probably curious as to why I was still wrapped up in his coat. I shrugged out of it even though it felt like I was handing over a security blanket and cleared my throat.

“Hey.”

Asa echoed the greeting and shook Rome’s hand as the gigantic retired soldier walked over. I squeaked a little when the big man scooped me up in a tight hug that I couldn’t help but return. When he put me back on my feet I just gaped up at him in surprise. He smiled down at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I was going to have Cora ask you to go get him if he didn’t show. I was gonna tell you to use force if necessary.”

Asa made a noise and lifted an eyebrow at his boss. “Where’s Cora? This doesn’t seem like something she would miss.”

We wandered farther into the waiting room and I let out a sigh of relief when Saint made her way over to my side. She linked her arm through mine and gave me a knowing look. I just shook my head and told her, “Later. We can talk about it later.”

She just smiled at me and propped herself up next to Nash, who tilted his head down at me in greeting.

Rome ran his hands over his head and his massive chest expanded as he huffed out a frustrated breath.

“She’s in the bathroom.” Something shifted across his handsome face. “She’s not feeling well at the moment.”

Rome and Cora had recently gotten engaged and they had a daughter who was just starting to walk, which constantly kept them on their toes. She was full of her mother’s fiery personality and her dad’s stubbornness, which meant keeping up with little RJ was a full-time job. They were a rock-solid family unit and it made me have hope for my own future. I wanted to believe that something like what Rome and Cora had could exist without infidelity, without jealousy and drama, in my life at some point. In fact all of these people had relationships I envied and admired. They were all determined to make them work. No matter what the cost. They wanted to be together and they all did whatever it took to make that happen. I really wanted someone to feel that way about me.

Nash pushed the brim of his hat up and his periwinkle-colored eyes shone at me with unbridled amusement.

“Any particular reason you showed up at the exact same time as Asa?” I was pretty sure Saint had told him about my current infatuation, but I wasn’t in the mood to share or be teased, so I just shrugged.

“Good timing, I guess.” Nash was Rule’s best friend, so punching him in the gut to get that cocky grin off of his face wouldn’t be in good form considering the situation.

I let go of Saint’s arm and found a seat that was off to the side. I kicked my feet up on the one across from me and settled in to wait. Having babies took a long time and it wasn’t like I was going to sleep anyway.

I was drifting in my own thoughts. Thinking about Asa’s startling revelations that he was willing to go to jail to pay for past crimes, thinking about the way he tasted, the way he felt so hot and hard in my hand. I was thinking about the idea of going back to work without Dom at my back and how that was almost impossible to get my head around. I also couldn’t get my mind off the fact that all I wanted when I couldn’t sleep and the gym wasn’t enough was to go toe-to-toe with the southern bartender I couldn’t get out of my head. My crush was turning into an obsession.

I jolted a little when a tiny body landed in the chair next to me. Cora looked at my sprawled-out form and kicked her much shorter legs out in front of her with a grin. “Not even close.” There was still a foot beyond the toe of her combat boot and the opposite chair.

I rolled my head to the side so I could look at her as she settled in next to me. Cora was the unofficial guardian angel of this group. She was a petite powerhouse of a woman, and when I wasn’t sort of terrified of her, I really liked and respected her. Tonight she looked a little pale and she had obvious bags under her two different-colored eyes.

“How’s it going?” I figured if anyone would know it would be her.

“Fine. Rule’s actually handling all of it better than Rome did. Rome had the nurses and my OB-GYN scared to come near me. Rule’s taking it all in stride. As long as Shaw is cool, he seems cool, but the real contractions haven’t started yet. We might have to send in the reinforcements if he flips out like his brother did.”

I laughed. I had no doubt Rome was extra scary when he was stressed and freaking out. He looked like he could win a war all by himself with no weapons, just standing off to the side chatting with Asa.

“Well, that’s good. It’s nice you’re all here to support them. Ayden called Asa. She’s on her way already.”

Cora tilted her head back on the chair, put a hand over her tummy, and squeezed her eyes shut. She looked a little green all of a sudden and I sat up straighter. I was going to ask her if she was okay when she breathed deep and then turned her head to look at me as whatever was wrong with her apparently passed.

“She’s going to be devastated if that baby comes before she gets here. Moving to Austin with Jet was the best choice, but it’s hard on them with all of us still here.”

“She told Asa he had to be here just in case she couldn’t make it.”

Cora nodded and smiled at me. “He needs to be here regardless, and so do you.”

It was uncanny how she always seemed to see everything. “I’m here.” I said it begrudgingly.

“Yeah. But you had to think about it first. You belong here, Royal. Don’t doubt it.”

But I did—doubt it, that is. I just didn’t know how I fit. “Things just felt off and a little strained after I had to take Asa in. I wasn’t really sure how to handle that, and making friends has never been all that easy for me.”

Most girls didn’t like me or didn’t trust me and boys only wanted to pretend to be my friend in the hopes it would lead to more. Aside from my tight bond with my mom, my relationship with Dom and his sisters, and now Saint, I had lived a pretty solitary life.

“Shit happens. What happened with Asa wasn’t your fault and we all know that.” She gave me a very pointed look, her brown eye hard and her blue eye sharp. “Do you?”

I wanted to tell her everything felt like it was my fault. It felt like all I could do anymore was make mistake after mistake. I never got the chance, though, because panic crossed her pretty face and in a heartbeat she was up out of the chair and darting across the waiting room to where the bathrooms were located. Rome’s deep voice rumbled with a litany of swearwords as his mom scolded him, which he blatantly ignored as he followed his tiny fiancée into the ladies’ room. He ignored the nurse that called out to him as well, which had all the guys gathered around laughing.

I was pondering Cora’s words about fault when her now-vacant seat was filled with a much bigger, masculine body. Whenever I was within touching distance of him, all my senses seemed to go into overload. He draped one of his long arms across the back of my chair and looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“You okay?” His voice was softer than usual and way too close to my ear. I gulped a little and nodded.

It was the fact he asked, the fact that I think he really cared whether I was okay or not, that overshadowed all the red flags he liked to wave in my face warning me away from him.

“Yeah. I’m glad I came up with you. It’s nice to see this.”

“See what?”

I waved a hand vaguely around the room indicating where Salem and Rowdy were cuddled together, where Nash had wrapped Saint up in his arms and was holding her, where Rome had disappeared after Cora, and even where the older Archers were sitting huddled together.

“Happiness. Togetherness. Unity. It was just me and my mom when I was growing up and she jumped from man to man always looking for something she couldn’t seem to find. It’s pretty cool to see couples that actually want to be together. Stability is kind of a foreign concept to me.”

He kicked his long legs up like mine were and adopted a similar pose. I shivered a little when his side pressed along my own. He grinned at me when he noticed my reaction.

“You can have all the stability you want when you stop looking for trouble.”

He was probably right, although trouble sounded like so much more fun right now, and what I wanted and what I needed were absolutely not the same thing.

I didn’t reply; instead I tried really hard not to move as I felt the tips of his fingers start to play with the end of my long ponytail where it hung over the back of the chair. I don’t think he was even aware that he was doing it. That is, until I glanced at him and noticed the golden glow shining out of his eyes. This was not a guy that ever did anything without being very aware of the effect it was having on the people around him. He wasn’t just trouble, he was potent and more dangerous than most of the stuff I saw on the streets every day.

At some point the monotony of waiting for endless hours long into the night, the quiet murmur of voices, the squeak of rubber shoes on the linoleum floor, all worked together to lull me to sleep. One minute I was thinking about how odd my night had turned out. About how when I felt my absolute worst there was this remarkable foundation of wonderful people to catch me. I wasn’t used to having any kind of safety net aside from Dom, and I had to admit it was really nice to have a soft landing instead of a brutal crash for once in my life.

But of course, like everything in my world lately, drifting off into a little catnap couldn’t just be easy and rejuvenating. As soon as the darkness descended, it was there. The day everything changed forever.

I heard the gunshots. Heard the cops that had been on the scene before us shouting. Heard the people in the neighborhood chattering next to the dilapidated building that had been converted into a monster meth lab. I heard the sirens. I heard my radio squawk that there were several officers down. It was a bad situation all around, but Dom and I were trained. It was our job to go into bad situations and make them better.

I heard Dom telling me we should go into the alley and I blindly agreed. I heard his boots rattle on the metal as he found a fire escape and started to climb up. I told him I was right behind him, we always had each other’s back. Dom barked at me to stay put, to cover him from the group. We had no idea how many shooters there were, had no idea if the building was clear or not, but again, we were trained and this was our job.

I had my gun out. I was watching, staring hard at the space above Dom’s head, making sure no one could get the drop on him. There were more shots fired, I had no idea if they were our guys or the bad guys, and I didn’t care as long as my partner was okay. I heard Dom make a noise as he reached the top of the fire escape. I could swear I heard every single snowflake that was falling that night as it hit the dirty ground around my booted feet.

I heard Dom call an all-clear, saw him move to go through a shattered window, and then I heard it … nothing more than a whisper. A faint sound of a can or some other piece of trash rolling on the asphalt. I moved my attention away from Dom for a split second, half of a heartbeat, not even a full blink, and then hell was unleashed.

A kid, a boy that was barely out of puberty, popped up over the edge of the roof, opened fire from his higher position, and hit Dom. He took two shots in the vest, one ripped through his arm. The force and surprise sent him stumbling backward until he hit the waist-high railing of the fire escape and started to tumble over it. One last bullet had caught him just right in the side, but it was the fall that did the most damage.

Then all I could hear was screaming, my own and Dom’s as he fell. I returned fire, caught the kid dead center in his chest. It didn’t matter. I thought Dom was dead and I couldn’t stop screaming.

I woke up with a jerk. I was covered in a light sheen of sweat and noticeably shaking. Luckily this time I wasn’t making any noise and no one seemed to notice my disheveled state, mostly because Ayden and Jet had arrived and everyone was gathered around saying hello. I watched as Asa pulled his strikingly beautiful little sister into a warm embrace.

And then it was like Shaw and the baby knew, like her and Rule’s baby boy had been waiting for just the right minute to make his grand entrance into the world. He seemed to know the exact moment that his whole family was there to meet him because it wasn’t until the entire gang was present that Reyer Remington Archer made his debut.

I had to say it was the best thing that had ever been waiting for me on the end of the nightmarish visions of that horrible night, and I would forever be grateful I was allowed to be part of it.