Читать книгу The Dare Collection January 2019 - J.C. Harroway - Страница 24

‘THEY’RE GOOD.’ AJAX’S voice was deep and rough in my ear, and he sounded vaguely offended. ‘Fucking good. Why didn’t you bring her stuff to me sooner?’

I turned, glancing over to where Poppy lay sleeping on my sofa. She was curled up, covered only by the soft grey cashmere blanket I’d found to throw over her. The fabric had fallen away from her shoulders and back, revealing the lovely curve of her spine and elegant shoulder blades. Her skin was golden in the half-light of the late summer evening filtering through the slatted wooden shutters.

Beautiful.

Mine.

‘Because I didn’t know she was that good sooner.’ I kept my voice down so I wouldn’t wake her. ‘So what do you think? She a possibility?’

‘Yeah, Christ. This could be exactly what we’re looking for.’ The sound of a car door slamming filtered through the phone. ‘I’ll email her tomorrow, ask her if she’s interested in getting some sketches to me.’

That was Ajax. Once he decided something, he didn’t muck around.

There was something warm in my chest, a certain kind of pride. In Poppy and her ability, even though it had nothing to do with me. I’d known those sketches were good the second I’d seen them in her book and clearly Ajax agreed.

I couldn’t understand how her professors hadn’t spotted her talent. No, it wasn’t showy or industry changing; it was a far subtler thing than that. But that didn’t make her and her designs any less impressive. They were accessible and that made them gold when it came to building houses people actually wanted to live in.

‘Sounds good,’ I said. ‘I’ll let her know to expect an email then.’

At that moment she gave a soft, sensual-sounding sigh, which was usually a prelude to her waking up.

‘Huh?’ Ajax muttered. ‘Sounds like you’ve got company.’

Damn. The man had the ears of a bat. ‘See you tomorrow,’ I said and ended the call before he could say another word.

I didn’t want to get into any explanations about Poppy just yet. There was no point, not when this was only temporary in any case.

‘Who was that?’

I turned.

Poppy was sitting up, the blanket wrapped around her, blinking at me sleepily.

I moved over to the sofa, throwing my phone carelessly down on the coffee table in front of it then sitting down next to her. ‘Ajax.’

She immediately climbed into my lap, settling herself in the crook of my elbow, her head against my shoulder. ‘Oh? What did he want?’

My chest tightened at her easy familiarity. As if she had every right to curl up in my lap like a little cat. As if that was her rightful place.

I slid an arm around her, holding her close, relishing the warmth of her lovely body against mine. ‘He liked your drawings.’

She blinked then twisted to look up at me. ‘Seriously?’

‘Yes. He thought they could be just what we’re after for our new apartment complex. He’s going to email you about it tomorrow morning.’

Wonder flickered over her face then it was gone, a shadow taking its place. She looked down at where my hand rested on her stomach. ‘That’s great.’

I frowned. There was a flat note in her voice that puzzled me. ‘What’s wrong? You don’t want him to email you?’

Poppy shook her head, her fall of silky hair brushing over my bare chest, tickling and soft. ‘No, it’s just...’ She stopped, one finger trailing over the back of my hand.

‘It’s just what?’

Her finger began to trace an endless figure eight on my skin. ‘It’s great, don’t get me wrong. But... I don’t want anything given to me.’

I stared down at the perfect lines of her lovely profile, not understanding. ‘What do you mean, given to you? I’m not giving you anything.’

‘You kind of are.’ She turned her head, shooting me a glance from underneath her lashes. ‘You’d never have given Ajax my book if we weren’t sleeping together.’

‘What?’ I had no idea where she was going with this. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

‘I’m just saying, I don’t want any opportunities given to me because of the fact that we’re sleeping together.’

‘This has got nothing to do with—’

‘Yes, it has. You’d never have seen that book if you hadn’t discovered me sketching in it. And you’d never have even looked at it, still less taken it to Ajax, if we hadn’t been sleeping together.’

An uncomfortable feeling shifted in my chest and I scowled. ‘Bullshit. We weren’t sleeping together when I took it off you.’

‘No, but we were when you gave it to him.’ She shifted in my lap, twisting so she could look at me. ‘Would you have given it to him if I wasn’t your “fuck toy”?’

I didn’t like the way she said those words. I didn’t like the confrontational look in her eyes. ‘What the hell is the matter?’ I wasn’t quite sure what I was so annoyed about and yet I was annoyed all the same. ‘I thought you’d be pleased about this.’

She looked away again, silent for a long moment.

But I wasn’t having any of that.

‘Tell me what’s going on, Poppy,’ I growled. ‘Unless you seriously want another spanking tonight?’

I saw the by now familiar flash of fire in her eyes and realised that was a stupid question. Of course she wanted it. She loved the spankings I gave her.

‘Or perhaps if you don’t tell me,’ I amended, keeping the note of warning in my voice, ‘you won’t get a spanking at all.’

This time the fire in her eyes was anger. ‘Okay, fine. I just...don’t want to end up like Mum. Getting everything from a man simply because I’m sleeping with him.’

I couldn’t quite keep the astonishment off my face. She really thought that?

Of course she’d think that. Remember the kind of person Lily is and what Poppy told you about her.

Lily was an opportunist, always had been, always would be, I knew that. And Poppy had told me how her mother had made her feel...

My anger drained away. ‘This is different.’ I injected all the certainty I could into the words. ‘You’re not your mother, Poppy.’

‘Aren’t I?’ Her gaze was very direct. ‘Do you know what it’s like getting hit on all the time? By men who are supposed to be my employers, touching me, making awful suggestions. Telling me I can keep my job if only I could do them a couple of “favours”.’ There was bitterness in her tone. ‘You want to know why I never keep a job very long? That’s why. Because I’m not going to put up with that shit. Not like Mum did. And I’m not going to take advantage of it like she did either. I want a job that I got on my own, by my own talent, not because the man I’m sleeping with happens to—’

I lifted my hand, gripped the back of her neck and squeezed gently to calm her, making her break off, her breathing fast.

‘I hear you,’ I said into the silence, holding her gaze with mine, letting her know that I understood what she was saying. And I did. I really did. Anger simmered inside me. Anger for her and what she’d had to put up with. ‘And if I could I’d punch every one of those bastards who made you feel uncomfortable.’ I tightened my grip on her, reminding her of my possession and that I had her back. ‘But that’s not what’s happening here. You really think I’d take your drawings to Ajax if I didn’t think they were good enough?’

She blinked, lashes fluttering.

‘Well?’ I demanded, wanting to hear her say it.

‘No.’ The word sounded cracked. ‘I guess not.’

‘No,’ I repeated, part of me surprised at my own insistence. ‘I wouldn’t waste either his time or my own. I gave those drawings to Ajax because they were good, because I thought he would like them and he did.’ I didn’t know why it was so important to me that she understood. Maybe it was because of what she’d told me about her professors, about how they hadn’t been excited about her drawings, about the note of disappointment I’d heard in her voice, of doubt. And I didn’t want her doubting herself. ‘Even if I hadn’t been sleeping with you and I’d seen those drawings, I would have taken them to Ajax.’

She stared at me for a long moment, her expression guarded. ‘Even...even if we were still hating each other?’

‘Yes.’ I didn’t hesitate or ask myself why it was important to me that she had confidence in her own talent. I only knew that it was. ‘I’d be stupid not to. People will love your designs. They’re incredibly accessible. My job is to manage the company’s money and see that we make more of it and your designs will help us do that.’

Emotions crossed her face, moved like shadows in her eyes. ‘You wouldn’t...wouldn’t say that simply to get in my pants, would you?’

I couldn’t help smiling at that. ‘I’m already in your pants.’

‘You know what I mean.’

‘No, I wouldn’t say that. I value honesty, Poppy. And I don’t like liars. I’ll always tell you the truth, understand?’

Except when it comes to her father, right?

She let out a long breath. ‘Well, okay then.’

I ignored the voice in my head, exerting slight pressure on the back of her neck and easing her forward, brushing my mouth over hers in a feather-light kiss. ‘You’re talented,’ I said softly against her lips. ‘And it’s got nothing to do with your looks or how good you are in bed. It’s all in how you think and who you are. And it’s good, Poppy. It’s really, really good.’

Her breath caught, her eyes wide and staring into mine, and I caught another flash of her vulnerability. As if she’d never heard those words from another person before.

Then her lashes came down and she put her hand against my chest, giving me a little shove. ‘Oh, well, since a man told me I was good, I must be.’

She was protecting herself and I got that, but I felt annoyed that she could dismiss my opinion so lightly.

‘I can’t help being a man. But that doesn’t make what I said any less true.’

Her hand slid down my bare chest to the waistband of the trousers I still had on. ‘No, I know. You’re trying to make me feel better; I get it.’

I slid my fingers up the back of her neck and into her hair, holding on tightly and tugging her head back so she was looking at me again. ‘I didn’t say that to make you feel better. I said it because it’s true.’

She tried to pull away but I held her tight, keeping her gaze on mine.

‘You’re not your mother, Poppy. And you shouldn’t doubt either yourself or your ability.’

A spark glowed in her eyes, a familiar spark. ‘I don’t doubt it.’

‘Are you sure about that?’

‘Of course I’m sure. I don’t—’

‘Then why do you keep getting so defensive and angry? Is my opinion not worth anything to you? Is that what you’re trying to say?’

She fell silent, staring at me for a long moment, and I could feel the tension in her. She was all prickles and spikes sometimes, but I knew what that was all about now. They were her defences. And, from what she’d just said about pricks hitting on her, she’d needed them.

‘You don’t have to fight me,’ I said when she didn’t speak. ‘I’m on your side, okay?’

Her eyes glittered strangely, like there were tears in them. ‘Why? Why are you on my side?’

‘You even have to ask that?’

‘Of course I have to ask that. No one’s ever been on my side before. Why should you be any different?’

She was being honest, painfully so, and it made something twist in my chest. There were people who should have been on her side, like her mother, for example, and yet Lily hadn’t been. Lily hadn’t been on anyone’s side but her own.

It was wrong and it offended my sense of fairness down to the bone.

I stared right into her eyes, into her hurt and vulnerable soul. ‘I am different. And I will continue to be different. I’m on your side, Poppy Valentine, no matter what happens, understand me?’ I made the words a vow because that was exactly what they were. And I didn’t second-guess myself or question why I was saying this. Poppy needed someone and I would be that someone.

Moisture glittered on the ends of her lashes.

Christ, she was crying.

I let go of the back of her neck and cupped her jaw in one hand, using my thumb to brush away the tears, trying to ignore the twisting, heavy feeling in my chest. ‘Poppy...’

‘I’m not crying,’ she said fiercely, totally ignoring the wetness I was wiping away. ‘I’m not.’

‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘I’m not upset.’

‘Little liar.’ I brushed away another tear, searching her face. ‘What’s wrong?’

Her throat moved as she gave a convulsive swallow. ‘I haven’t done anything to deserve this from you. Not a single goddamn thing. I’ve been nothing but horrible to you since the day—’

I pressed my thumb against her soft mouth, silencing her. ‘You don’t need to deserve it.’ My voice was thick and rough, but I didn’t care. Her eyes were full of tears and all I wanted to do was take them away, make her feel better because the pain in her gaze hurt me too. ‘You’re bright and you’re passionate, and you’re brave. Isn’t that reason enough?’

She shook her head, another tear sliding down her cheek, so I went on. ‘You’ve been protecting yourself for a long time, I know that. I understand. I’ve been doing the same thing myself. But you don’t need to do it any more. You don’t need to protect yourself from me.’

She was silent but when I moved my thumb, tracing her lower lip, unable to stop touching her, she said, ‘And when this is over? Will you still be on my side then?’

It was a challenge, because of course she was always challenging me. And I knew what ‘this’ meant.

A tight kind of ache started up behind my breastbone, but I didn’t look away from her. I told her I’d always give her the truth and I would. ‘Yes. Even when this is over, I’ll be on your side. I never say things I don’t mean.’

She stared at me and I couldn’t tell what was going on behind those molten metal eyes.

Then she opened her mouth and bit my thumb.