Читать книгу Harlequin Superromance September 2017 Box Set - Jeannie Watt, Janet Lee Nye - Страница 26
ОглавлениеONE WEEK LATER, Taylor was fully immersed in her element, living and breathing finance. She was part of a team, and, being the newbie temp, far from taking the lead as she’d done before. She had to build a reputation for being efficient, cooperative and creative, while at the same time not coming off as a threat to anyone else. What had been second nature to her now required thought. She was gun-shy, aware that going above and beyond didn’t guarantee anything. In fact, some of the people who had hung back were still employed by Stratford.
Every company was different, though. They had their cultures and hierarchies and personalities to work around.
But she was working and back in her city.
And lonely as hell.
She didn’t text or call Cole. It was for the best. They truly were star-crossed lovers and would continue to be so, unless one of them gave up their professional life to be near the other…and thereby gave up their independence.
Her mother had, of course, assumed that Taylor was as happy about leaving the farm as she had been. “This was a good experience, honey. Now you’ll know for sure what you don’t want if you happen to run into a good-looking country guy.” Which was exactly what had happened with Cecilia and Taylor’s father. “Like that’s going to happen,” Taylor murmured, hoping her mother missed the irony in her tone.
“Good-looking only goes so far when you are tiptoeing around cow poop. I loved your father, but…” Cecilia made a shuddering noise.
Since her grandfather never had cows, that was an exaggeration, but Taylor understood what she was getting at. And she also understood that she was different from her mom. She’d hated living in the bunkhouse, but she missed the farm.
Or did she just miss Cole?
Her heart still hurt when she thought about him, but she told herself it had been only a week. Then two weeks. Then three.
She threw herself into her work, had Carolyn and her guy over for budget dinners instead of going out every week. She was socking away all the money she possibly could. It was sobering to realize that she could have saved more being a loan officer and renting an apartment in the Eagle Valley than she could subletting and working for a decent salary here.
“You’re a city girl,” Carolyn told her when she explained that to her friend. “You pay more, but you get more. Can you walk down to the ocean or take a ferry or club hop in Montana? I don’t think so. And your dating life had to be limited.”
“It only takes one,” Taylor said, just as Carolyn’s wineglass touched her lips.
“You’ve never said anything like that before.” She abruptly set down her glass. “You met someone.”
“I did.”
Carolyn gave her a frowning once-over. “You’re still thinking about him.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, damn, girl. It’s about time.”
Taylor shook her head. “Our lifestyles and occupations are not compatible.”
Carolyn took a healthy drink of wine, wiping her lips with the back of her fingers. “So you work something out.”
“And one of us becomes resentful, and the beautiful thing becomes a source of bitterness.”
Now Carolyn was staring at her as if she’d just met her. “Yeah. You’re right. That will totally happen if one of you gives up something that they don’t want to give up. But there is that thing called compromise.”
Taylor pushed her hair back with both hands as her temples began to throb. That word again.
“Are you glad to be back in the city?”
“Totally.” It was the life she knew and loved. The place she’d been raised. It was comfortable and safe and predictable, if one didn’t count the possibility of layoffs. Plus the food was great.
“Were there good parts about Montana? I mean other than the guy who’s driving you nuts.”
Taylor sipped her wine thoughtfully, basically trying to lie to herself so that she could say no as if she meant it. “I enjoyed working outside. A whole lot more than I thought I would.”
“Huh.”
“I hated it at first,” she said as if that was a viable defense.
“But not anymore?”
Taylor frowned. She hadn’t expected this conversation to be all about her, but now that Carolyn was primed, there would be no stopping her. “I wouldn’t work outside for a living.”
“What could you do there inside for a living?”
As if she hadn’t asked herself that at least once a day lately—in a hypothetical sense, of course.
“Well,” Taylor said ironically, “I think the fact that I looked for work there for over two months and couldn’t land a job kind of answers that question.”
“Consult. Do books. Get your CPA license.” Carolyn placed her palm flat on the leather sofa with a soft smack. “Teach school.”
Taylor made a face at her. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
Carolyn leaned back against the sofa, stretching her arm out along the back. “I am not. But your job is temporary and you need a backup plan.”
“Before I end up on the farm again?” The scary thing was that she couldn’t go back to the farm. Not after the way she’d left. Her stomach started tightening into a sick knot.
“Taylor?” She glanced up at her friend. “You’ve changed.”
“I was gone for two and a half months.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m not saying it was the guy. Maybe it was living out of the city. Maybe it was Montana.”
Taylor leaned her head back to study the ceiling.
No. It was mostly the guy.
Although Montana had played a part…and in a way, she missed living there. Missed her life on the farm.
Her mother would have a cow if she knew.
* * *
COLE PUT UP his meadow hay four weeks after Taylor left, and he couldn’t help but reflect that he’d have enjoyed it more if she’d been there to swath. Part of him wanted to contact her and ask how she was doing in her new job—like friends would do. More than once he’d picked up the phone, only to set it back down again. It was crazy to reopen a semihealed wound.
They weren’t friends. Not yet. Not when he still felt so raw about her departure.
Karl had called a couple of times, almost as if he was checking on Cole, which led Cole to suspect that his relationship with Taylor hadn’t stayed a secret. Karl wasn’t returning from Dillon anytime soon, but Elise had started dating and Cole had a feeling that Karl would be back within the year. He’d have to move out of the house, find a place to live. He could live in the bunkhouse, but he didn’t particularly want to kick around in the place where he and Taylor had shared so much.
He’d prefer to live on his ranch.
Instead, he’d moved his horses to Karl’s place, allowing Miranda another victory. It was killing him.
He hated the feeling of inertia that permeated his life. He was doing well on the farm, but he missed Taylor, and the situation with his ranch was beyond his control. For the moment. He would come up with something.
He’d just washed off the field dust when his cell phone rang. Jancey. She was coming home from college on the weekends and filling in at the feed store. Unbeknownst to Miranda, she’d done Jancey a huge favor by sabotaging the job with Magnus Distribution. His sister loved the feed store. “Just wanted you to know I’m heading out. I should be there in an hour.”
“Thanks, kid. See you then.”
He hung up and headed for the shower. Instead of lounging around in his sweats, crunching numbers and trying to figure out how to get his ranch away from Miranda, he’d grill a steak for his sister and maybe whip some instant mashed potatoes. He was spending too much time plotting against the bitch. It really was starting to wear.
Taylor had told him to sell the ranch.
The thought killed him.
But trying to figure out a way to hold on to it and regain control was almost as brutal. He’d crossed Miranda, and she was going to make him pay. And pay. Any thoughts of a peaceful settlement had gone out the window when she’d tried to buy Jancey’s part of the property without discussing the matter with him. She’d actually tried to pit sister against brother, which was sick, especially when they were the only members left of their immediate family.
But if he sold, after he got over the anguish of having let Miranda win once and for all…of having lost the family ranch to the woman who’d tried to ruin both him and Jancey…he could start fresh.
A fresh start sounded good. Really good.
Could he let go? Did letting Miranda win make him a coward?
The working-ranch part of the vacation packages was becoming more and more popular. The accountant’s report, which put Miranda in the clear as far as her fiscal honesty went—damn it all—supported that. If he sold—to anyone but her, because there was no way he was doing that—she’d lose those packages, because she lost access to the property if it sold. There was no transfer of usage.
Cole stopped drying off and studied his reflection, a thoughtful frown drawing his eyebrows together. He lost. She lost.
When Jancey came home that evening, he broached the subject. “What if we sold the ranch?”
“To Miranda? No way.” She picked up her steak knife and started sawing on the T-bone.
“Not to Miranda.”
She put down the knife. “Then to who?”
“Anyone. Just to keep it out of Miranda’s hands, and to keep her from having use of the property.”
Jancey’s mouth opened. Closed again. Then she shook her head. “I don’t want to sell.”
“It would hurt Miranda’s pocketbook.”
“For a while.” She set down her fork and gave Cole a pleading look. “The land is all we have that’s from our family. It’s our heritage.”
“Which makes us miserable.”
“No. She makes us miserable.” She cocked her head at him. “Is this so that you can go after Taylor?”
“Go after?”
“She’s not coming back.” Before Cole could reply, Jancey went on. “She says it’s important to be independent. Then you can control your life.”
“Which is how she ended up here on the farm, living in a ramshackle building.”
Jancey nodded. “Good point.”
“I care for Taylor,” he said simply. It was ridiculous to pretend he didn’t. Not when he had this many sleepless nights under his belt.
“But not enough to go after her?”
“I think I have to wait until she’s ready to find a middle ground.”
“How long do you think that will take?” Jancey asked softly.
“That’s the million-dollar question.”
And he was half-afraid of the answer. Had the city reclaimed her? Was she once again working megahour weeks and not taking care of herself? Worse yet, had she met a guy? A city guy? One she had a lot in common with?
Those were the questions that kept him up at night. The questions that had him very, very close to giving up his harvest and heading to Seattle to see if he could claim what he knew in his soul was his.
* * *
IT WAS FUNNY how the life Taylor had so carefully crafted prior to getting laid off from Stratford now felt oddly empty. The aftermath of Cole.
She loved Seattle, was glad to be back…but it didn’t feel the same. And she almost felt angry about it—as if she’d made a pact with herself, then fallen short of fulfilling it. She was back. She was supposed to love it. She wasn’t supposed to wonder if Cole had turned the bunkhouse into a grain bin as he’d once threatened. Or if the rabbits under the floorboards had litters of little rabbits. Or if Chucky had eaten Cole’s other boot.
She shouldn’t be wondering how Jancey was enjoying college. Or missing the girl as much as she did.
Life went on.
And on.
A guy at her firm was hitting on her. He was attractive and personable and when she’d looked him up, she couldn’t find anything about him that wasn’t admirable. But just like her life in Seattle, something was missing.
He wasn’t Cole.
She didn’t know why she finally settled on her sofa and dialed her mother’s number, other than the fact that they hadn’t talked since she’d first returned to Seattle. Maybe she needed to hear someone tell her again how lucky she was to escape that rural hell.
The phone rang twice and then Jess answered in his almost too-quiet voice.
“Hi, Jess. Taylor. Is my mom there?”
“She’s marketing.”
“Oh. Well, tell her…” The words trailed off as she realized she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to tell her other than that she’d called. “Jess?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer.”
“Sure.”
“How much did you give up to be with my mom?”
“I don’t quite follow. I really didn’t have anything.”
“Not material things…how much of yourself? Your goals and the plans you’d made for your future.”
“I gave up nothing.”
Taylor waited a beat, and when the phone remained silent, she said, “Are you living the life you would have lived without her?”
“No. This is different.”
Different. Not worse. Different.
“I changed my goals when I met your mom. They’re still my goals.” He spoke in a musing way, making Taylor think that he’d never truly analyzed the situation, but instead had adapted as things in his life changed.
“Mom always told me to be independent. I guess that made me think that in your relationship…” You were the loser. “Uh, never mind. Too personal. I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize, Taylor. We make the decisions together. Sometimes she goes commando on me, but I wear her down. I’m the water. She’s the rock.”
A true artist’s answer.
“I made assumptions.”
“Don’t we all. You haven’t been around us enough to know how things are between us. They’re good. I’m happy. If I wasn’t, I would have walked long ago.”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” Taylor said.
“Which means you must have needed to have it.”
She snorted softly. “Maybe so.”
Only instead of making her situation clearer, Jess’s revelation muddied it further. And then to make things worse, she did a terrible thing—she started looking for jobs in Montana again. Just…looking.
She wasn’t that serious…or at least that was what she told herself. Cole hadn’t contacted her since she’d left—not that she’d contacted him, but she’d had the last word when she kissed him. The ball was in his court. And he hadn’t done anything with it. That was why the job search wasn’t that serious.
But she was curious. Were there options out there? Could she get different training? There were pluses to living in a more rural environment, after all, or there wouldn’t be so many people relocating to the state. There were definite financial pluses. The cost of living in the city was eating her alive.
The culmination of her craziness came when Carolyn dropped by and noticed the Montana job search she’d left up on the screen before answering the door.
“This is serious,” Carolyn said.
“Just curious.” Which was why she could feel herself blush a guilty pink.
“Uh-huh.” Carolyn picked up the laptop and carried it to the sofa while Taylor got the wine, cursing herself for not shutting the lid. “Most of these don’t pay that well.”
“I can rent an apartment for less than a zillion dollars a month.” Not that she was going to.
“Do you want to go back?”
“I just have to keep my options open in case the temp job doesn’t pan out. I’m looking for jobs here, too.”
“You know that if this job ends that you and Max can move in with me.”
Taylor’s eyebrows rose as she tried to imagine the two of them, plus one giant cat, maneuvering around Carolyn’s tiny studio. “I, uh…”
Carolyn grinned at her. “I’m moving in four months when my lease expires. I already have the new place nailed down. It took a lot of orchestration and luck, but I will soon have a lot more room.”
“Congratulations! Now you’ll have room for all your shoes.”
“I didn’t say that,” Carolyn said with a sniff. “But I’m serious about the offer. I’d thought about inviting Bradley to move in, and he’s kind of hinted at it, but…” Carolyn made a fluttering gesture with one hand.
“You’re not feeling it?”
Carolyn shook her head. “I’m feeling it, but for once in my life I’m not rushing it.”
“Good to know that I have a safety net.” Really good. But not enough to still the anxiety that simmered away just under the surface.
Carolyn adjusted the laptop so that they could both see it. “Now, let’s see what’s out there for you—or someone very much like you.”
They shared a bottle of wine as they filled out an application for a school district budget manager, and for the answers that had started out being silly, they’d gone back and changed to serious.
“Are you going to send it?” Carolyn asked as she topped off their glasses.
Taylor held up her finger, gave it a theatrical twirl, then stabbed the apply button. “Yes.”
Carolyn smiled. “Let’s see what else is out there. You never know…maybe there’s something for me in the great outdoors.”
“Uh, have you ever been outdoors?”
“The cruise to Alaska. We stood on deck many times.” Carolyn made a face at her, then continued scrolling through the sites on her tablet.
“You know that if I get called for an interview, I won’t take it.”
“Of course not,” Carolyn said. “We’re just doing this for fun.”
“Good.” Taylor took a long drink of wine. “I just wanted to make certain we’re on the same page.”
Carolyn slanted a sideways look at her. “Although…”
Taylor let out a sigh. “He hasn’t called or texted. It’s done.”
Carolyn pushed the hair back from her forehead. “And you feel…?”
“Like I made the only choice I could have made. The only logical choice. The choice I told him I would make before we started sleeping together. I was totally up front and he was good with it.”
“What happened?” Carolyn’s expression shifted as she connected the dots. “Oh, no…you didn’t tell him that stuff about compromise?”
Taylor closed her eyes and pulled in a breath. “I believed that stuff about compromise.”
“And now?”
“If it was true, I wouldn’t feel this miserable right now.”
* * *
TAYLOR WENT OUT for a run late Friday afternoon after getting off work, and when she got back, a message was waiting for her on her phone. Not her mother, as she’d expected, but Jancey. A simple “Call me.”
Taylor’s heart started to thump as she hit the redial. Had something happened to Cole? To Chucky? Jancey answered instantly.
“Taylor. Thanks for getting back to me.” The girl sounded stressed, but not Cole’s-in-the-hospital stressed.
“Not a problem. Is everything okay?” As in, did her heart need to be beating this rapidly?
“Cole’s talking about selling the ranch.”
Taylor almost dropped the phone. “No.”
“I know. I think he’s doing it to be with you.”
“Um…” Taylor sank down to the sofa as guilt washed over her. She’d told him to sell and now he was going to do it? “I’m not certain what to say.” Total understatement.
“There’s got to be another way, Taylor. I don’t want to lose the ranch.”
Taylor cleared her throat, then leaned forward to rest one elbow on her knee and prop her forehead with her hand as she stared down at the floor. “What reason did he give for wanting to sell?”
“He said that it’ll keep Miranda from being able to use the land for the working ranch packages. I guess she’s making a lot of money from those, and this would stop her.”
“That means you guys are making money, too.”
“I guess.”
“He said he wanted to sell.” Taylor was still having trouble wrapping her mind around that.
“Can you talk to him? Please, Taylor. Let him know that it isn’t the ranch keeping you guys apart.”
“I’ll, uh, see what I can do.”
“I would really appreciate it.” Jancey’s voice cracked, making Taylor’s heart squeeze. The girl loved her ranch.
Taylor ended the call and slumped backward without asking how Max was doing. Cole was talking about selling the ranch. Whatever the reason was, it was his business. Totally his business…except that she’d suggested it to him, and now Jancey was beside herself.
Regardless of what Jancey thought, she couldn’t just shove her nose back into Cole’s business. She’d lost that right. She would call once she felt ready—it wasn’t as if he’d sell the ranch overnight—and maybe together they could come up with a way to help Jancey deal with whatever decision he made.
Jancey is never going to be okay with the decision. It’ll be a regret she harbors forever…and maybe Cole will feel the same.
Not her fault, but she had a finger in this.
Call. Get it over with. Do what you promised and move on.
She started to search for Cole’s number, then put the phone down again.
She wasn’t ready to hear his voice. Wasn’t ready to be dismissed.
She had unknowingly lost a big part of herself when she’d walked away. Returned to what she thought she’d wanted—the city and the lifestyle that, by all rights, should have made her feel exactly the way it had before she’d taken refuge on her grandfather’s farm.
You love Cole and it’s tearing you apart.
Oh, yeah. No argument there.
Taylor paced to the window. The view wasn’t as beautiful as the one from her former apartment building, where her name had already moved two spots up the list, but it should have brought on a similar feeling of contentment. Instead she had the oddest feeling that she no longer belonged. Her city was rejecting her.
So where did that leave her?
With a very short weekend to do what she had to do.
