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I wrote this book for three groups: Those, who like me, are stroke survivors; primary caretakers who are caring for loved ones; and for family and friends who want to help. I am writing this to help stroke survivors recover as fully and as quickly as possible. I am writing this to teach what I have learned, to help understand stroke, how to be helpful, and, just as important, how not to be harmful.

Readers have much to learn, as did I. You see, I had a stroke in 2004. I had the same questions you may now be asking. I also found few answers, which made it very frustrating. Doctors and counselors answered many, but left out so much more that I needed to know. I went to all the bookstores, and searched online, and could not find the simple answers I was looking for.

I decided then, that when I recovered, I would write a book and share that information. This is that book. This is the first in a series on stroke recovery. In this first book I want to tell you the story of my stroke, and the things I learned, both good and bad, to offer the best chance for a full and quick recovery.

Stroke is something few are familiar with so you are not alone. This may be all new territory for you. You have so many questions and very few answers. You want recovery, quickly, but the doctors and the counselors only help with some questions. You have so many more, and they just offer no answers.

To my fellow stroke survivors I say: You may feel alone and abandoned, but you are not. You are surrounded by love. Always remember you have your loved ones to take good care of you. Don’t worry. Just focus on getting better. That person next to you is really important even though you may not realize it yet. Someday you will. Someday you will be able to hug them and say thank you. But for now, just focus on healing.

I Was Where You Are Now

I am a stroke survivor, so I understand the feelings and questions other survivors and their loved ones may have. I was in the dark. But I remember what I went through, and now I want to give you the help I was looking for: information that will help you understand what the next several years will be like, and how survivors can, and will, recover.

My cousin is a neurologist. A “stroke doctor” as I call them. He helped me with some questions, but most of what I learned, I had to figure out on my own over the years. He lives in another state, and I had my own stroke doctors here in Atlanta.

I have learned quite a bit, and will share it with you here. Some of it will make you laugh, and some will make you cry … as I did, once again, when writing. Some of this you will like, and some you will not, but you need to know it all.

When I first wrote this book, it was from my perspective. When I asked my wife, Deborah, to read it she realized this is how I saw things. However, her perspective, as caretaker, was different in many areas. We both found this very interesting, and, after talking with her, we decided it was important to share both perspectives.

So, we re-wrote this book. It is a great representation from the stroke survivor and the caretaker. We think it is important for you to understand both sides of the coin. So whether you are the stroke survivor, or the caretaker, or the family, you can learn from the many lessons on our road to recovery.

To start, I want to share some good news with you: There is Life After Stroke!

Believe it or not, most stroke survivors do get better over time. Once you begin to realize that simple fact, your attitude will change and improve. I’ll discuss that inside these pages, along with many other important things that I have experienced, and that you will need to know as you work toward recovery.

Right now the stroke survivor’s mind may seem broken or disconnected. That is natural. Remember, the brain has a remarkable way of healing. It just takes time … a lot of time. How much healing will occur is the biggest question. And that is where the work comes in. The stroke survivor and caregiver must work to get better.

I wish someone had done this for me in my early years of recovery. I was searching for a successful road map. If I had known what I know now, my recovery might have been much quicker and better.

Every stroke is different because different parts of the brain can be affected. However, there are some basic things that I believe are true for every stroke survivor — important things to know in order to improve your recovery.

That is what I want to offer you in these pages. This is the book I was searching for when I had my stroke, but could not find. I know the questions stroke patients have and understand that sometimes it feels no one will answer them for you. I want to help others deal with this new experience of feeling lost.

Today I am where other stroke survivors can be in a few short years. I want to share information that will make recovery much easier, better, and hopefully even faster, with the right frame of mind.

Whether you are a caregiver or a loved one, you can make a big difference in recovery. You can also stand in the way and not even realize it. I want you to understand and be aware, so you can help and not hurt in recovery. There are easy and definite steps you must take to stay on track.

It is so important that the stroke survivor, caretakers, friends and family have the right attitude. I’ll discuss this in detail a little further into the book.

You must believe that the stoke survivor will recover. Much depends on nature, but much also depends on you, and your commitment to making it happen. You play an important role in recovery. Part happens by itself, but part needs active participation.

As a stroke survivor myself, I know that fellow survivors who have a road map in hand can can demand success from themselves and can achieve it. Trust me, this is exactly how I have achieved such an amazing recovery.

This book is full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, uncertainty and chaos. It is also full of the deep and remarkable calm and beauty and pleasant feelings that survivors will experience and will carry forever.

I think it is an important part of the recovery process to enjoy and explore, while at the same time working hard to get the mind back on track. We will discuss how survivors can do both.

Right now, all that stroke survivors want to know is when recovery will take place. It is a simple question. However, it’s one that no one can answer with certainty. I can say that if a stroke survivor has the correct mindset, it will make all the difference in recovery.

All of a sudden you and your loved ones have quite a lot to deal with, starting now. This is a new world for you. You have years of hard work ahead. And you have years of accomplishments and happy times as well. What I can tell you is, that with hard work, commitment and focus, things will get better, bit by bit, year after year.

In this book I will tell you many of the truths and secrets I learned over the last seven years.

I am not a doctor. I am a stroke survivor. So I am not giving medical advice. Instead, think of this book as if you and I were sitting down at Starbucks, sipping a cup of coffee and talking about what I have learned over the last seven years that can be helpful to you.

There are many things you have to think about. Many things you have to do. And many things you should not do, even though you may think they are okay. They aren’t — but you don’t know that yet.

I guess the professionals don’t have the answers to the questions I asked. My questions were not about the identification or treatment of stroke. My questions came from the fear and the confusion a stroke survivor has. How would this affect and change my life? How long would it last? When would I recover? Would I recover fully? What should I do in order to speed up my recovery? And countless other questions.

I know you need these answers, too, and want to get better. Let’s travel this road together. Let me help you see the path, and the bright sunshine at the end.

Whether you are the stroke survivor, a spouse, family member or friend, stroke has now changed your life. When the dust settles and things calm down, you will realize that life does not have to be worse. But it will be different.

There is so much that I have learned over the last many years of dealing with this condition. I want to share what I have learned with you to help you in this new journey in your life. Then eventually you can pass your story along to others to teach and help them.

Now follow me. I want to tell you a story.