Читать книгу Identity - Jeff MDiv Sieniewicz - Страница 12

It was a deep self-serving mull. One that could have been the source of any number of the storm fronts in the area that weekend.

Frank has always believed that there is a big difference between mulling and brooding. Although, the fact he views himself as a person who mulls rather than broods, may factor heavily into his perspective on the issue. Nevertheless, to him mulling is to think about an issue carefully, to ponder, and is a generally positive attribute and activity. An intelligent, well-rounded, and balanced person is bound to mull from time to time, or even regularly as he does. Mulling is a vessel of learning, and a chance for personal growth.

On the other hand, Frank views brooding as an act of negativity, of regression, of dwelling upon negative experiences in one’s past or possible future that are over and done with, or out of one’s control to begin with. And doing so in a way that is neither productive nor healthy. A balanced person does not spend much time in their week brooding, unless they are one of those snotty nosed teenage boys who intentionally act broodingly to appear deep and complex in hopes of attracting attention from the opposite sex. And in the end, how many well-rounded or balanced teenage boys does anyone know?

Thus, Frank has never been one to spend much time brooding, at least not on purpose. He does not claim to be well rounded or balanced; however, he likes to think he often bumps up against the border of being intelligent. Yet to obtain that status, Frank feels he needs to mull. Ultimately, there is some considerable grey area blurring the border between brooding and mulling, but nevertheless, in Frank’s mind he was clearly mulling this early Saturday afternoon, and certainly not brooding.

Still, even Frank would have to admit that it was in this area of this particular Saturday afternoon, during the hours that feel as if they last twice as long as any other, when he dangerously neared rumination as he mulled. He had returned to his apartment full of self-pity because no one had believed his story. Since leaving Laura’s, he had stopped and told his story surrounding the two missing policemen to three strangers who he passed on his way.

In the spirit of the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he hadn’t as much passed them as he had been sitting beside them on the subway. Even more, he hadn’t actually been sitting with them during the entire tale, having needed to pursue them through various compartments of the train to finish his story.

Regardless, their reactions to his story had been much worse than Laura’s, and had not helped to improve his mood in the least.

Now, as Frank was flipping one card after another through his hands, they shook. After filing through a few more shaking plastic covered baseball cards, he found the ones he was searching for, the ones that had always been the best in calming him down during times when he felt panicked. Frank read the back of these cards, reading information about a few of his favorite players.

This time, however, when he finished he felt just as nerved up and uncomfortable as when he began.

Why were the now missing policemen in his apartment the night before? Why would they want a simple rock? Why did the rock glow? Was it really just a rock?

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands together for a while, then finally put the cards away.

Clearly it had been a bad dream and a coincidence combined. It hadn’t actually happened, and thus he would have a calm, relaxing afternoon. Maybe he would even check out the park.

Frank got dressed to go out, but then noticed the rain hadn’t let up quite yet. So, he would stay in. He could still have a calm afternoon, he thought.

After vacuuming the carpet, eating lunch, doing the dishes, his laundry, organizing his apartment, vacuuming again, then thinking about doing his taxes early, he decided his questions must be answered, or least he must try to find some answers that fit. But how?

Frank found himself needing tea with Laura once again. But that would have to wait.

_________

Upon returning to Hiruaha, Agent 4352 and Agent 1 were greeted like returning heroes. They were treated like this for a simple reason. They were heroes who had, well, returned.

As for the hero part they had brought back The Beacon of Light, reuniting it with their home world, and more importantly The Beacon’s home world.

Indeed, times were grand to be one of these two Etans. Consequently, this made the life of any other Etan on the planet very depressing, especially those of the young Etans.

“Why can’t you be more like Etan 4352?” mothers all over Hiruaha were saying to their children. Everywhere an Etan went on Hiruaha they couldn’t help but hear things that resembled “now 1 and 4352, those are two fine Etans” or “yes, good on them, good on them indeed!” It was enough to drive a completely balanced Etan right out of their sanity circuit boards.

By now you must have a couple questions about our friend the Etan. Along the lines of what is an Etan? How did they come to be on Hiruaha? And how did they become what they currently are?

First, an Etan is a robot that came to fruition through a combination of evolution and sexual reproduction, a fact that surely has spawned a few more questions. Such as, how is it that a robot can have children?

Well, it was not always easy for them, but when The Great Creator left the original Etans on Hiruaha, they were few in number and soon longed for the company of other Etans.

Many attempts to fashion fellow Etans in their own image from spare parts of dishwashers and motorbikes followed and failed miserably. The resulting ‘children’ more closely resembled moving car washes than offspring.

Instead of attempting this pursuit in the same manner once more, the Etans fashioned genitalia and other reproductive organs needed for them to reproduce. Interestingly enough by using the same parts as before.

After a few failed rounds that contained nasty electronic viruses, they re-tooled their reproductive applications and the first Etan children were conceived.

The word conceived might be a particularly loose one here, as in reality it was closer to a microwave oven than a womb where the children were being conceived. Also they were purely mechanical much like their parents, yet conceived sexually they were.

In fact it is quite likely that the word sexually is being used most loosely here, because crudely put, the act consisted of the injection of data and electricity from the male’s outlet to the female’s.

Although this might not sound crude, witnessing the transaction would surely change your mind. It is said to be so unpleasant and unbecoming that it would destroy the optical circuitry boards of even the strongest nerved Etan, which is why they always close their optical portals when involved in any sexual behavior. Occasionally this loss of sight can have its pitfalls during sex as well, but in the end, at least with the Etans, it proves to be the lesser of two evils.

Next, regarding how did Etans come to be on Hiruaha in the first place? As much as the Etans wanted to resolve this issue for the sake of their own curiosity, they also felt a need to answer their children’s questions of “where did we come from?”

Faced with such an overwhelming question, the Etans, just as the Frogolinians did later on, spent a considerable amount of time contemplating the most appropriate answer. In the end, the consensus was that it was the result of two single acts by a powerful creator thousands of moons ago.

It is said that one with great wisdom and mechanical engineering foresight had designed the entire planet, including its inhabitants, before moving on.

Where to? No one knows. Who was it? No one knows, however, his imprint on Hiruaha was left with each Etan then, and with each Frogolinian years later. This all-powerful creator would be referred to only as “The Great Creator” from then on, and the surrounding stories of him would match his accomplishment in grandeur.

Lastly, how is it that a robot can evolve?

Well, it’s much like any type of biological evolution. Initially, through adapting to environmental factors and later by intellectual growth. That’s the short and sweet answer for evolution, something that takes millions of years to perfect. As for the long answer and example, we are living proof.

_________

The local law enforcement of Truth were busy filing the appropriate paperwork on the missing agents, Tim Kitchner and Bob Henon, just as the bodies of the two policemen were being incinerated by the third sun, of the second planet, of the eighteenth solar system, of the Kitton quadrant in the Jutius Galaxy. Followed shortly thereafter by their socks.

Meanwhile Frank had a different approach to locating the two policemen than filing paperwork. He figured that by finding out what they were doing in his apartment, he could consequently find the two men. Therefore he was down at the local rock museum; Truth being one of the few towns dull enough in Oregon to have a rock museum.

Walking into the museum, his eyes intently scanning the surroundings with his mission in mind, Frank felt as if he was a detective in one of the mystery novels he’d spent a great deal of his life reading.

Dare he say, Sherlock Holmes himself? Well maybe he was not of that ilk yet, but he did feel he was doing some keen detective work here, especially as he went on to grill the teenage attendant at the ticket station about visitors from the previous week.

Regarding whether or not any had the behavioral mannerisms of two off duty policemen? If any had inquired about glowing rocks, with emphasis on the glowing, and if so, did any of those same visitors say why they were inquiring, and if they did, did they mention plans for leaving the country as well?

Frank was going to get to the bottom of this, he could feel it, and that glowing rock was the key to this problem, so where better than a rock museum to find the solution?

The puzzle was fitting so well together in Frank’s vivid yet rusty imagination that he was beginning to feel quite smart indeed, and once he posed all these questions eloquently, in a sophisticated and detailed manner to the attendant, Frank simply sat back.

He eagerly awaited what he could only anticipate as a groundbreaking response in the case from this young citizen of Truth. A citizen who was clearly an individual well-versed in the sedimentary field as he worked at a rock museum, and obviously he would also be concerned about his fellow man.

Frank leaned forward as the youngster responded with his earlier statement once more.

“Tickets are one for five dollars, and two for eight.”

Frank stood firm in his place. He was scolding the attendant for his ignorance on this important matter.

Or at least he was attempting to, but his jaw was currently preoccupied. It was busy doing its own form of push-ups, this time trying to disassociate itself with the knot it had just become close friends with.

After being unable to speak, Frank slowly retreated back to his car through the rain puddles in the nearly empty parking lot.