Читать книгу The Definite Object - Jeffery Farnol - Страница 15
HOW SPIKE INITIATED MR. RAVENSLEE INTO THE GENTLE ART OF SHOPPING
Оглавление"Gee!" exclaimed Spike, as they descended the many stairs, "she sure gave you the frosty-face, Geoff, but it didn't seem to joggle you any!"
"No, it didn't joggle me, Spike, because you see—I like her."
"Like Mrs. Trapes? You 'n' Hermy are about the only ones then; most every one in Mulligan's hates her an' gets scared stiff when she cuts loose! But say, you do keep on rubbing it in, I mean about—about thieving!"
"Probably it's your conscience, Spike."
"You won't ever go telling any one or blowing d' game on me?"
"Spike, when I make a promise I generally keep it."
"Y' see, Geoff, it ain't as though I was a—a real crook."
"You meant to be."
"But I never stole nothin' in my life, Geoff."
"Suppose I hadn't caught you?"
"Oh, well, cheese it, Geoff, cheese it! Let's talk about something else."
"With pleasure. When does your sister return?"
"This evening, I guess. But, Geoff—say now, do I look like a real crook—do I?"
"No, you don't, Spike, that's sure! And yet—only last night—"
"Ah, yes, I know—I know!" groaned the lad, "but I was crazy, I think. It was the whisky, Geoff, an' they doped me too, I guess! I don't remember much after we left till I found myself in your swell joint. God! if I was only sure they doped me."
"Who?"
"Who? Why—gee, you nearly had me talking that time! Nix on the questions, Geoff, I ain't goin' to give 'em away; it ain't playin' square. Only, if two or three guys dopes a guy till a guy's think-box is like a cheese an' his mind as clear as mud, that poor guy ain't to be blamed for it, now, is he?"
"Why, certainly!" nodded Ravenslee.
"How d' ye make that out?"
"For being such a fool of a guy as to let other guys fool him, of course. Sounds a little cryptic, but I guess you understand."
"Oh, I get you!" sighed Spike drearily. "But say, didn't you come out to buy a toothbrush?"
"And other things, yes."
"Well, say, s'pose we quit chewing th' rag an' start in an' get 'em. There's a Sheeny store on Ninth Avenue where you can get dandy shirts for fifty cents a throw."
"Sounds fairly reasonable!" nodded Mr. Ravenslee as they turned up Thirty-ninth Street.
"Then you want a new lid, Geoff!"
Mr. Ravenslee took off the battered hat and looked at it.
"What's the matter with this?" he enquired.
"Nothin', Geoff, only it wants burnin'," sighed Spike. "An' then—them boots—oh, gee!"
"Are they so bad as that?"
"Geoff, they sure are the punkest pavement pounders in little old N' York. Why, a Dago hodcarrier wouldn't be seen dead in 'em; look at th' patches. Gee whizz! Where did His Whiskers dig 'em up from?"
"I fancy they were his own—once," answered Mr. Ravenslee, surveying his bulbous, be-patched footgear a little ruefully.
"Well, I'll gamble a stack of blue chips there ain't such a phoney pair in Manhattan Village."
"They're not exactly things of beauty, I'll admit," sighed Mr. Ravenslee, "but still—"
"They're rotten, Geoff! They're all to the garbage can! They are the cheesiest proposition in sidewalk slappers I ever piped off!"
"Hum! You're inclined to be a trifle discouraging, Spike!"
"Why, ye see, Geoff, I wan'cher t' meet th' push, an' I don't want 'em to think I'm floatin' around with a down-an'-out from Battyville! You must have some real shoes, Geoff."
"Enough—it shall be done!" nodded Mr. Ravenslee.
"Well, tan Oxfords are all to th' grapes just now, Geoff. I don't mean those giddy-lookin' pumps with flossy bows onto 'em, but somethin' sporty, good an' yellow that'll flash an' let folks know you're comin'. And here's Eckstein's!"
With which abrupt remark Spike plunged into a shop, very dark and narrow by reason of a heterogeneous collection of garments, of ribbons and laces, of collars and ties of many shapes and hues, together with a thousand and one other things that displayed themselves from floor to ceiling; amidst which, Mr. Ravenslee observed a stir, a slight confusion, and from a screen of vivid-bosomed shirts a head protruded itself, round as to face and sleek as to hair.
"Greetin's, Ikey!" said Spike, nodding to the head. "How's pork to-day?"
"Aw—vat you vant now, hey?" enquired the head. "Vat's the vord; now—shpit it out!"
"It ain't me, Moses, it's me friend wants a sporty fit-out an' discount for spot cash, see? Show us your half-dollar shirts for a starter—an' sporty ones, mind!"
Immediately out came drawers and down came boxes, and very soon the small counter was littered with piles of raiment variously gaudy which Spike viewed and disparaged with such knowing judgment that the salesman's respect proportionately grew, and Mr. Ravenslee, lounging in the background, was forgotten quite, the while they chaffered after this manner:
Salesman. "Here vos a shirt as can't be beat for der money—neglegee boosom an' turnover cuffs, warranted shrunk, and all for vun dollar."
Spike. "Come off, Aaron, come off! Fifty cents is th' bid!"
Salesman. "Fifty cents? Vy, on Broadvay dey'd sharge you—"
Spike. "Wake up, Ike! This ain't Broadway! And fifty's the limit!"
Salesman. "But shust look at dem pink shtripes—so vide as an inch! Dere's fifty cents' vorth of dye in dem shtripes, an' I'll give it you for seventy-five cents! On Broadvay—"
Spike. "We're gettin' there, Ikey, we're gettin' there; keep on, fifty's the call!"
Salesman. "Fifty cents! Oi! Oi! I vould be ruined! A neglegee boosom and turnover cuffs! Vell, vell—I'll wrap it up, so—an' I make you a present of it for—sixty! An' on Broadvay—"
Spike. "Come on, Geoff, Aaron's talking in his sleep! Come on, we'll go on to Mendelbaum's; see—we want shirts, an' ties, an' socks, an' collars, an'—"
Salesman. "Vait—vait! Mendelbaum's a grafter—vait! I got th' best selection of socks an' ties on Ninth Av'noo, an' here's a neglegee shirt with turnover cuffs—an' only fifty cents. But at Mendelbaum's or on Broadvay—"
In this way Mr. Ravenslee became possessed of sundry shirts whose bosoms blushed in striped and spotted splendour, of vivid-hued ties and of handkerchiefs with flaming borders. From shop to shop Spike led him and, having a free hand, bought right royally, commanding that their purchases be sent around hotfoot to Mulligan's. Thus Spike ordered, and Mr. Ravenslee dutifully paid, marvelling that so much might be bought for so little.
"I guess that's about all the fixings you'll need, Geoff!" said Spike, as they elbowed their way along the busy avenue.
"Well," answered Mr. Ravenslee, as he filled his pipe, "it will certainly take me some time to wear 'em out—especially those shirts!"
"They sure are dandies, Geoff! Yes, those shirts are all to the lollipops, but say, you made a miscue gettin' them black shoes," and here Spike turned to stare down at his companion's newly acquired footwear. "Why not buy the yellow boys I rustled up for you. They sure were some shoes!"
"They were indeed, Spike."
"Gee, but it must feel good t' be able t' buy whatever you want!" sighed Spike dreamily. "Some day I mean to have a wad big enough t' choke a cow—but I wish I had it right now!"
"What would you do with it?"
"Do with it! Well, say, first off I'd—I'd buy Hermy them roses—th' whole lot," and he pointed where, among the pushcarts drawn up against the curb, was one where roses bloomed, filling the air with their sweetness. "An' next she should—"
"Then go and buy 'em, Spike!" and speaking, Mr. Ravenslee thrust a bill into Spike's hand.
"Gee—a twenty-spot! Can I, Geoff?" he cried, his blue eyes shining. "Th' whole lot—on d' level?"
"On the level."
Spike started joyfully away, paused, turned, and came back with head a-droop.
"I guess it can't be done, Geoff," he sighed.
"Why not?"
"Well, y' see, it ain't as it was my own money, really."
"But it is!"
"No, it ain't! I haven't earned it, Geoff, an' I ain't a guy as sponges on his pals, not much I ain't. Take your money, Geoff. When I buy Hermy anything it's goin' to be bought with money as I've earned."
So Mr. Ravenslee thrust the bill back into his pocket and thereafter walked on, frowning and very silent, as one lost in perplexed thought. Wherefore, after more than one furtive glance at him, Spike addressed him with a note of diffidence in his voice.
"You ain't sore with me, are you, Geoff?"
"Sore with you?"
"I mean, because I—I didn't take your money?"
Here Mr. Ravenslee turned to glance down at Spike and clap a hand upon his shoulder.
"No," he answered, "I'm not sore with you. And I think—yes, I think your sister is going to be proud of you one day."
And now it was Spike's turn to grow thoughtful, while his companion, noting the flushed brow and the firm set of the boyish lips, frowned no longer.
"Hello, there's Tony!" exclaimed Spike as they turned into Forty-second Street, "over there—behind the pushcart—th' guy with th' peanuts!" And he pointed where, from amid a throng of vehicles, a gaily painted barrow emerged, a barrow whereon were peanuts unbaked, baked, and baking as the shrill small whistle above its stove proclaimed to all and sundry. It was propelled by a slender, graceful, olive-skinned man, who, beholding Spike, flashed two rows of brilliant teeth and halted his barrow beside the curb.
"How goes it, Tony?" questioned Spike, whereat the young Italian smiled, and thereafter sighed and shook his head.
"Da beezeneez-a ver' good," he sighed, "da peanut-a sell-a all-a da time! But my lil' Pietro he sick, he no da same since his moder die-a, me no da same—have-a none of da luck—noding—nix!"
"Hard cheese, Tony!" quoth Spike. "But say, have you seen th' Spider kickin' around?"
"No, I ain't! But you tell-a da Signorina—"
"Sure I will—"
"My lil' Pietro he love-a da Signorina; me, I love-a her—she so good, so generosa, ah, yes!" And taking off his hat in one hand, Tony kissed the other and waved it gracefully in the air.
"Right-o, Tony!" nodded Spike. "You can let it go at that. An' say—this is me friend Geoff."
Tony gripped Mr. Ravenslee's hand and shook it.
"You one o' da bunch—one o' da boys, hey? Good-a luck." So saying, Tony nodded, flashed his white teeth again, and seizing the handles of his barrow, trundled off his peanut oven, whistling soft and shrill.
"Tony's only a guinney," Spike explained as they walked on again. "But he's white, Geoff—'n' say, he's a holy terror in a mix-up! Totes one o' them stiletto knives. I've seen him stab down into a glass full of water an' never spill a drop, which sure wants some doing."
Evening was falling, and dismal Tenth Avenue was wrapping itself in shadow, a shadow made more manifest by small lights that burned dismally in small and dingy shops, a shadow, this, wherein moving shadows jostled with lounging shoulder or elbow. As they passed a certain dark entry where divers of these vague shadows lounged, a long arm was stretched thence, and a large hand gripped Spike's shoulder.
"Why—hello, Spider," said he, halting. "What's doin'?"
"Nawthin' much, Kid—only little M—'say, who's wid you?"
"Oh, this is a friend o' mine—Geoff, dis is d' Spider!" explained Spike.
Visualised in "the Spider" Ravenslee saw a tall, slender youth, very wide in the shoulder and prodigiously long of arm and leg, and who looked at him keen-eyed from beneath a wide cap brim, while his square jaws worked with untiring industry upon a wad of chewing gum.
"Good evening!" said Ravenslee and held out his hand. The Spider ceased chewing for a moment, nodded, and turning to Spike, chewed fiercer than ever.
"Where youse goin', Kid?" he enquired, masticating the while.
"What was you goin' to tell me, Spider?" demanded Spike, a note of sudden anxiety in his voice.
"Nawthin', Kid."
"Aw—come off, Spider! What was it?"
The Spider glanced up at the gloomy sky, glanced down at the dingy pavement, and finally beckoned Spike aside with a quick back-jerk of the head, and, stooping close, whispered something in his ear—something that caused the boy to start away with clenched hands and face of horror, something that seemed to trouble him beyond speech, for he stood a moment dumb and staring, then found utterance in a sudden, hoarse cry:
"No—no! It ain't true—oh, my God!"
And with the cry, Spike turned sharp about and, springing to a run, vanished into the shadows.
"What's the matter?" demanded Ravenslee, turning on the Spider.
"Matter?" repeated that youth, staring at him under his cap brim again; "well, say—I guess you'd better ask d' Kid."
"Where's he gone?"
"How do I know?"
"It isn't—his sister, is it?"
"Miss Hermione? Well, I guess not!" So saying, the Spider, chewing ferociously, turned and vanished down the dark entry with divers other shadows.
For a moment Mr. Ravenslee stood where he was, staring uncertainly after him; presently however he went on toward Mulligan's, though very slowly, and with black brows creased in frowning perplexity.