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According to Webster’s dictionary the definition of a myth is this: 'a widely held but false belief or idea.' And, as we saw when we took our spin back in time, masturbation at various times has not just been considered as dangerous, but in some cases fatal. So if you think about it, it kind of makes sense that so many myths would have grown up around the practice. I'm pretty sure that you are familiar with many of these myths, but just in case, let's take a quick look at some of the more common ones.

You will go blind

You will grow hair on the palms of your hands

You will no longer be a virgin

It's dirty

It will stunt your growth.

Now consider this for a moment. If, according to the Hite Report, around 80 per cent of women choose to masturbate at some stage in their lives, the female species, as we know it, should consist of blind, hairy-palmed midgets. I think it's fair to say that I have just made my point that for the most part these myths are just that, myths, or stories told by parents to curtail their young offspring from engaging in a practice that they honestly believed would cause them real harm. These stories have persisted over generations and in many cases have taken on a life of their own.

While on the surface these myths often sound funny when applied to our modern-day lives, what they can do is lead to a great degree of guilt still being felt by a large percentage of the female population. It's also worth noting, as we discovered earlier, that the majority of these myths were directed at the guys and, to some degree, they still are. We have a tendency to forget that it has only been over the last hundred or so years that women have been seen as anywhere near equal to men and this is also true in the world of sex. Women and their sexual habits were just not as important as those of their male counterparts, and it's easy to see why much of the older sexuality texts were focused on the guys.

This is No Joke

These myths have now been swallowed, in the most part, by popular culture and, in fact, many have been turned into jokes. Masturbation has turned from something to be ashamed of to something to be ridiculed. For example: if you masturbate it's because you can't get a man. If you masturbate it's because you are ugly. If you masturbate it's because you are desperate.

These are forms of myths as well, but they are myths that have been disguised in the form of being humorous, or simply a joke, in most instances. We have even created an entire new set of words for not only masturbation itself, but most of the parts of our body that are thought of as sexual. As this book is about female masturbation, let's take a look at some of the terms that have been submitted by Clitical visitors over the years to describe the act of masturbation.

The Top Terms for Female Masturbation

Battery testing, Beat the clit, Bop, Bruise the beaver, Buff the muff, Butter the biscuit, Churn the butter, Club the clam, Clit flicking, Clit pick, Deck the nun, Dial ‘o’ on the pink telephone, Diddle yourself, Dig your own hole, Double-click your mouse, Feed the beaver, Feel the love, Finger bang old Mary Rotten Crotch, Finger fuck, Finger the bottle, Finger the love hole, Finger yourself, Finger your pussy, Flick the bean, Flick the flab, Flip the clit, Flip your flossy, Frigging, Get lost in the deep end, Get your fingers wet, Go knuckle deep, Jill off, Jillin’, Juicin’ out, Knitting, Lip Curlin’, Make love juice, Mine the hole, Part the pink sea, Pat the bunny, Pat the little man in the canoe, Pedicure the camel toes, Perfume the fingers, Pet the kitty, Play piano, Play with the cat, Play the hairy banjo, Play with your remote control, Play with your yo-yo, Poke the flounder, Polish the pearl, Praise the kooter, Pump your puni, Punch Jerry Garcia in the face, Push the love button, Ride the two-finger cowboy, Rough the muff, Rub off, Rub it, Rub the button, Rub the elf, Rub the love lips, Rub the nub, Rub the pussy, Scratch the snatch, Sing in the shower, Slap the lips, Slippin’ the kitten, Snuff the muff, Spank the kitty, Squeeze Mary, Squeeze the bean, Stroke the kitty, Stroke the nub, Tease the tuna taco, Tender the meat curtains, Think pink, Tickle clitty, Tickle the twat, Touch type, Touchy touch, Two-finger salute.

The one thing I think that really sticks out as you read through these names, is that none of them portray female masturbation in a good light. Several could even be described as downright distasteful, and yet they exist. The worst part is that many of these terms are used by women as a way to avoid uttering the dreaded ‘M’ word and I personally think that's a shame. When we disguise something by using a different term, what we do is give it new meaning. While declaring to your friends that you are off to polish your pearl, or flick your bean, what you are actually saying is, ‘I masturbate, but I'm still too embarrassed to use the proper word, instead I prefer to dress it up in a neat, tidy package, or as an inside joke.’