Читать книгу Parents Of Convenience - Jennie Adams - Страница 9

AS GOOD as his word, Max erected the play equipment bright and early the next morning. By the time Phoebe got the boys through breakfast and a minor case of the whinges and moved to the window to look out, the job was done. Max was standing back, examining his handiwork with a thoughtful expression on his face.

At least his attention wasn’t centred on her, Phoebe couldn’t help thinking. After yesterday’s kiss, and what had followed, Phoebe was determined not to melt again. She had given herself a good talking to and hoped it wouldn’t happen, but if she did start to turn mushy around the edges she would prefer the chance to get herself under control again without Max noticing her dilemma.

She was determined to keep some sort of emotional distance from the boys, too. Phoebe finished the last of her banana smoothie and wondered how long it would take Josh and Jake to notice what their father had done out there. About ten seconds, as it happened.

‘What’s that?’

‘Jungle Jim, Jungle Jim!’

They burst out through the back door. With a resigned shrug, Phoebe followed hard on their heels. It wasn’t as though she had any choice in the matter.

Confronted with the sight of their father, however, the boys skidded to a halt and positioned themselves behind Phoebe’s bare legs. Well, she couldn’t help it if they automatically gravitated to the caregiver figure in their lives. It’s part of the job, just like having to accept slimy, half-eaten sweets the first time they make up their minds to be nice and share.

Phoebe glanced at Max and, for one short moment, was certain she saw stark pain in his eyes at his sons’ abrupt withdrawal. Then he spoke, and she wondered if she had imagined it.

‘Hello.’ He scooped up a hammer from the ground and replaced it in the toolbox without really looking directly at either child. ‘I got this jungle gym for you both. I hope you enjoy it.’

Max didn’t look at Phoebe at all, which was absolutely for the best. So why on earth did she feel disappointed?

Because you’re a madwoman, that’s why. A total, absolute madwoman with a crush on a man who is so not right for you.

Did she have a crush, even after all her determination to eradicate her recent reactions to him from her system? Probably. How else could she explain her continued overactive interest in him, even in the face of its complete unsuitability?

Please try to focus on the reason you’re here. It’s a job, remember? Clocking in, clocking out.

Right. The boys remained behind Phoebe’s legs. What would an absolutely mega nanny do right now?

Get them to show an interest, she decided. Anything would be a start. She was about to suggest they thank their father for his gift, which would at least be better than no conversation at all, when both boys launched out from behind her, transferring their grip to their father’s legs.

‘Thank you, Daddy.’ Josh gave Max a big squeeze, then let go and hurried over to the gym to inspect it. ‘I like it.’

Phoebe’s heart squeezed right along with Josh’s actions.

Jake stayed longer with his little arms wrapped hard around Max’s knees. Just clinging. Then he looked up into his father’s face, his expression both serious and hopeful. ‘Can we keep it? Are we staying here?’

Oh, Lord. So much for holding back. Phoebe was right in there with Jake, longing for Max to respond in just the right way. Her heart went out to the little boy. Pick him up, Max. Take him in your arms and tell him how much you want him, and that you’ll never let him go. Let him have the security of knowing somebody loves him and intends to take care of him.

‘You can keep it.’ Max’s voice was gruff. ‘Nobody’s going to take it away from you.’ He patted Jake’s head, then deliberately stepped back, breaking contact.

When disappointment stabbed through Phoebe, she realised just how much she had wanted Max to offer something more than that. To show more care for his sons than he had. To be better than her parents had been.

Fortunately, Jake didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. ‘I’m getting on it.’ He started to follow his brother, then paused to look at Phoebe. ‘You, too.’

Phoebe forced a smile. ‘Okay. I’ll give it a go.’ She stepped over to the gym. ‘Right. What will I try first?’ Her question was deliberately hearty, and slowly the burning ache inside her chest began to ease. ‘Hmm. Should I climb it? Go up inside? Swoosh through the tunnel?’

She made a production of pretending to wedge herself into the tunnel. ‘Oh, dear. I can’t seem to fit.’ She wiggled her bottom in the air to emphasise the point.

The boys giggled.

‘You’re too big.’

‘Yeah, it fits us, silly.’

‘Oh. Then I guess you’d both better show me what you can do on it.’ Phoebe gave one final butt wiggle for good measure, but it backlashed a bit when Max issued a strangled groan that sent shivers through all of Phoebe’s reactionary sensors.

Phoebe’s head whipped up, cracking against the top of the tunnel. Face on fire, other body parts clamouring to follow suit, she backed out.

The moment she straightened up, Max pinned her in place with his gaze. ‘About last night.’

Yup. That would be the one subject she really wanted to discuss above all others. Not.

‘Forget it.’ She shrugged her shoulders in a dismissive gesture, reminded herself that her nose wouldn’t actually grow if she told a tall one, and proceeded to do so. ‘I promise you, I already have.’

Max hadn’t meant anything by it, after all. ‘I do want to talk about your sons, though.’

She issued the challenge in a quiet tone, lest Jake and Josh should hear her. ‘You should have made it clear to them that they don’t need to worry about their futures. That you love them, and will look after them properly.’

‘They will be looked after.’ Max moved away from the gym equipment. ‘That’s the whole point of getting a good nanny.’

‘A nanny is only an employee.’ Sometimes the truth hurt. ‘Your sons need the unconditional love of the person who created them. That’s you, Max. Refusing to commit emotionally to them is as bad as deserting them in reality.’

‘Don’t question what you don’t understand, Phoebe.’ Max gestured for her to follow him further away from the play equipment. ‘I thought I’d made it clear that you need to keep your opinions to yourself on that whole subject.’

She followed him, her gaze locked on the movement of his long legs, her thoughts tangled in what she wanted for the boys, in the distance she needed to maintain for herself. And in her awareness of Max. ‘I’m not sure that I can leave the subject alone.’

‘Try.’ Impatience laced Max’s tone. ‘And see if you can get your mind focused on this, will you? I’ve asked Brent to organise a load of sand for the boys as well. I had hoped you’d have some suggestions on the best position for the sandpit.’

Phoebe considered forcing the conversation back to the topic of the boys, then decided she would leave it. For now. Live to fight another day and all that. She’d had about enough, anyway.

‘Close to the gym would be good, so both areas can be watched at the same time.’ As she spoke, she heard a truck approaching.

Max heard it too and gave a single sharp nod. ‘You can tell Brent where to unload. I’m going to take the opportunity to do some work in my study. I’d prefer not to be disturbed.’

Phoebe’s hackles reared up. ‘What about spending time with your sons?’

But Max either didn’t hear as he strode away or pretended not to have done so. Phoebe was left standing there, fuming inwardly, wishing things could be different, feeling disappointed and wanting to shake some sense into Max’s stubborn head, all at once.

‘Where’s the sandpit?’ Josh wanted to know.

‘Look at the truck. Big truck,’ Jake piped up.