Читать книгу His Brother's Son - Jennifer Taylor - Страница 8

‘YOU’VE not got much of a suntan, I must say. Don’t tell me it was raining in Mallorca?’

Becky glanced round as her friend, Karen Hardy, came into the staffroom where she’d been making a cup of coffee. It had been a hectic morning on the paediatric intensive care unit of St Leonard’s Hospital, where she worked, and it was the first opportunity she’d had to take a break. She automatically reached for the jar of coffee and made Karen a drink as well.

‘It wasn’t raining, but I didn’t get much chance to enjoy the sun,’ she explained, handing her friend the mug.

She picked up her own cup, hoping that the hot coffee would help to warm away the chill which seemed to have invaded her since the previous day. She’d felt cold ever since she had got back from Mallorca despite the fact that the weather in London was surprisingly warm for the time of year. But maybe the chill she felt owed itself less to the outside temperature than to the frosty reception she had received at the Clinica Valdez.

Her grey eyes clouded as she recalled what Felipe Valdez had said to her. She had spent the night going over and over every cruel word, but nothing seemed to take the sting out of them. He honestly believed that she had used Antonio for her own ends. The thought still made her feel ill.

‘Hey, are you OK? You look as though you’d just swallowed something nasty.’ Karen sniffed her coffee suspiciously. ‘The milk isn’t off again, is it?’

‘No, it’s fine. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to poison you,’ Becky quickly assured her. ‘Here have one of these.’

She offered Karen the packet of chocolate biscuits which one of the doctors on the unit had given her in the hope that it would distract her from asking anything else. Karen was a good friend but Becky had deemed it wiser not to tell anyone too much since she’d taken the job at St Leonard’s. People would have been bound to gossip if the truth had got out, and that was the last thing she wanted to happen.

She’d told everyone the story that she and Antonio had decided upon—that she was a single mother, bringing up her nine-month-old son on her own. Whenever anyone asked about Josh’s father, she answered quite truthfully that he had died not long after the baby had been born.

Everyone had accepted it without question, and although she occasionally felt guilty about having to deceive them she felt she didn’t have a choice. She wouldn’t take any risks where Josh was concerned.

‘Thanks.’ Karen took a biscuit and carried on talking through a mouthful of crumbs. ‘So why didn’t you get much chance to enjoy the sun while you were in Mallorca?’

‘Oh, it was just a flying visit. I was there and back within a day.’

‘Really?’ Karen made no attempt to hide her surprise. Her blue eyes gleamed with curiosity as she stared at Becky. ‘You must have had a very good reason for not stopping. I mean, it’s a long way to go just for a few hours, isn’t it?’

Becky sighed as she realised her mistake. She shouldn’t have said that because her friend wouldn’t have been any the wiser if she’d let her believe that she had stayed in Mallorca. She’d had five days’ leave owing to her and had planned the trip to coincide with them. Not for the first time she rued the fact that being deceitful didn’t come naturally to her. Even when speaking to Felipe Valdez she had needed to watch every word she’d said.

‘I had something to sort out,’ she replied quickly, not wanting to dwell on the previous day’s events. Recalling the contempt on Felipe’s face still had the power to upset her, even though she didn’t understand why his opinion should carry any weight. So long as Josh was safe, nothing else mattered. And once she found the money she needed to pay Tara, her biggest problem would have been solved.

‘Something to do with Josh, do you mean?’ Karen guessed astutely. ‘You mentioned something about his father coming from Mallorca—did you go there to see his family?’

‘That’s right.’ Becky shrugged. ‘As I said, it was just a flying visit—that’s why I didn’t stay very long. Anyway, I wanted to get home to Josh.’

‘You didn’t take him with you?’

She groaned when she heard the surprise in Karen’s voice. What was that saying about the tangled webs we weave? One lie seemed to lead to another and if she wasn’t careful she would start tripping herself up.

‘He had an ear infection so I didn’t think it would be wise to take him on the plane. He stayed with the childminder so he was perfectly happy.’

She could tell that Karen was going to ask her something else so it was a relief when their new trainee nurse, Debbie Rothwell, put her head round the door.

‘I’m awfully sorry, Becky, but can you come? Holly is crying and I’ve no idea what’s wrong with her. All the monitor readings are fine. I’ve double-checked.’

Becky put her cup on the draining-board and smiled at the younger woman. Debbie was still very nervous about the responsibility involved with working in the IC unit and rarely trusted her instincts where the children were concerned. Whilst the monitoring equipment was invaluable it didn’t supply all the answers.

‘Have you tried asking her what’s wrong?’

‘Well, no, I haven’t, actually,’ Debbie admitted, looking even more flustered. ‘I suppose I should have thought of that first.’

‘Don’t worry. It takes a while to slot into the routine here,’ Becky said kindly, going to the door. ‘Let’s go and have a look at Holly and see if we can find out what’s the matter with her. She’s due to be transferred to a ward once Mr Watts has seen her, so there’s no need to be overly concerned. She’s well on the mend, I’m glad to say.’

They made their way into the IC unit and went straight to Holly Benson’s bed. The four year-old had been admitted the previous week after suffering a stroke. She had been gravely ill at the time and the prognosis hadn’t been good. However, dedicated nursing care, plus the child’s own will to survive, had pulled her through.

The good news was that young children were known to make an excellent recovery after they’d suffered a stroke. Nobody was exactly sure how it worked, but it had been proved that other parts of the brain took over the tasks performed by any damaged areas. With a bit of luck, little Holly would lead a full and active life.

‘Now then, sweetheart, what’s the matter? Does your head hurt or do you have a pain anywhere?’ she asked gently, bending down beside the child’s bed.

Although Holly had been removed from most of the monitoring equipment, she was still attached to the machine that was checking her blood pressure and heart rate. Becky saw the child pluck at the leads attached to her, and gently moved Holly’s hand away so that she couldn’t dislodge them.

‘Want to get up,’ the little girl said, her lower lip pouting. ‘Want to play!’

‘Oh, I see!’

She laughed as she kissed the little girl’s cheek, thinking what a good sign that was. When a child was fretting because she wanted to get out of bed, she had to be on the mend.

‘I’m afraid you can’t get up just yet, poppet. The doctor has to see how you are first.’

She turned to Debbie and grinned when she saw the relief on the young nurse’s face. ‘Panic over. How do you fancy reading Holly a story while we wait for Mr Watts to make his appearance? I wouldn’t like him to think that we don’t keep our patients happy while they’re with us.’

She moved away from the bed after both Holly and Debbie had agreed that it sounded like the perfect solution and made her way down the ward, automatically checking each child as she passed. There were ten beds in the paediatric intensive care unit and every one of them was in use. She had no doubt that the minute Holly was transferred to the medical ward, another young patient would arrive.

St Leonard’s was the only paediatric intensive care unit in that area of London, and beds there were always at a premium. It meant that her role as a staff nurse was a demanding one, but she’d never regretted her decision to work there. The fact that she’d been able to choose to work permanent days had been a real bonus because she didn’t know how she would have managed to look after Josh if she’d had to work shifts.

A smile softened her mouth as she thought about the little boy. Even though it was a huge responsibility, she had never regretted offering to take care of him. Josh was Antonio’s son and doubly precious because of that. She couldn’t have loved any child more than she loved him.

Becky left the ward and went to the office. Sister Reece was on holiday that week so Becky was in charge in her absence and there was a stack of paperwork to catch up with. She opened the office door then froze when she caught sight of the man standing by the window. For one horrible moment she thought she was going to faint as the floor seemed to rush up to meet her.

She saw him turn, saw the concern that crossed his face, saw him take a step towards her—and it was that which steadied her. The thought of Felipe Valdez actually touching her was more than she could bear.

‘Don’t!’

Felipe froze when he heard the total rejection in Rebecca’s voice. Frankly, he wasn’t sure what to do. She looked as though she was ready to keel over, yet the expression on her face dared him to go to her assistance.

He took a deep breath while he tried to think, but it was surprisingly difficult to assess the situation. Knowing that he was the object of all those waves of antipathy that were flowing across the room had thrown him off course. He could no longer take a rational view of what was happening and it shocked him to realise that he was in danger of acting instinctively and without thought.

‘What do you want?’

Her voice sounded cold and sharp, as though all the warmth and sweetness had been drained from it, and he frowned because it was strangely distressing to know that he was responsible for the change. He found himself wondering if he should apologise for what he had done before common sense reasserted itself. If there was any apologising to be done, it needed to come from her, not him.

‘I want to know why you came to see me yesterday.’

He saw her slender body stiffen but he refused to let himself be swayed by this act she was putting on. He had known that she was a nurse because Antonio had told him that in his last letter, but it had been a shock to discover that she worked in one of the most demanding departments in any hospital.

When he’d called at the house where she lived, a neighbour had told him that Rebecca worked in the paediatric intensive care unit of St Leonard’s Hospital. He had taken a taxi there, trying to reconcile himself to the thought of her doing such a demanding job. Yet why should he have been so surprised? Who better than Rebecca Williams to deal with sick children when she was incapable of feeling any genuine emotion? The thought made his heart ache for some reason.

‘You must have had a very good reason for coming to see me, Miss Williams, and I want to know what it was. Although maybe I could make an educated guess.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she said quickly, but he could see the fear that had darkened her eyes. ‘I told you that I just wanted to meet you—’

‘And it was a lie.’

He smiled sardonically when she fell silent, wondering why he couldn’t seem to derive any pleasure from her discomfort. It felt on a par with pulling the wings off a butterfly to stand there and mock her, but he couldn’t afford to weaken, wouldn’t allow himself to forget what had driven him to come. He just had to think about Antonio and anything…anything…was justified!

‘Please, don’t insult my intelligence, Miss Williams. We both know that you wanted something from me. Was it money that you were after, by any chance?’

He glanced around the room, fighting the feeling of sickness that was welling inside him because he knew his suspicions had been correct. She had come to see him to ask for money and the proof of that was the way she stood there without making any attempt to deny the accusation.

It was an effort to look at her again because he didn’t think he had ever felt more angry than he did at that moment. ‘Have you spent what Antonio left you already? Is that why you’re working here when you should be living in the lap of luxury?’

He shook his head reprovingly, determined not to let her know how much it disturbed him to see her looking so shocked. Why should he care about her feelings when she’d cared so little about Antonio’s? It didn’t make sense.

‘I’m not sure exactly how much my brother left you. Our parents put two hundred thousand pounds in a trust fund for Antonio, for when he reached the age of twenty-five. I doubt he had the time to spend very much of it before he died, so you must have received quite a considerable sum. Yet you have managed to spend it all in a few short months, apparently.’

He smiled thinly, wondering why she didn’t try to justify her actions, although maybe she knew how pointless it would be to try and play on his sympathy. It might have worked in the past because he could understand that many men must have been taken in by her beauty. Even he was aware of it and could feel himself responding on a purely physical level.

No man could look at Rebecca Williams and not want her. Even though he despised everything she stood for, he could feel a stirring in his blood. Her delicate beauty and that air of vulnerability she projected was a potent mixture and he could understand how his brother had been fooled by it. However, that was where he and Antonio differed. He knew that beneath the beautiful outer shell was a woman who would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. And what she wanted most of all was money.

‘I almost feel sorry for you, because I’m sure that working for your living wasn’t part of your plan.’ His voice grated because the thought seemed to sear right through him. All she’d ever wanted from Antonio had been his money!

‘Nevertheless, I’m very much afraid that I shall have to disappoint you even further because you won’t get a penny out of me. I am not my brother. I am not as gullible as poor Antonio was!’

He brushed past her, feeling the tremor that coursed through his body when his arm brushed her shoulder. Revulsion, he told himself as he went to the door, simple revulsion—if anything to do with this woman could be classed as simple. He had no idea how she’d hoped to extract money from him, but he couldn’t bear to question her further. Finding out more about Rebecca Williams’s sordid life certainly wouldn’t make him feel any better.

‘Becky, can you come—? Oops, sorry. I didn’t know you were busy.’

Felipe ground to a halt when a nurse suddenly appeared. He saw her look curiously at him before she turned to Rebecca and spoke more formally this time.

‘Mr Watts is on his way. I thought I’d better warn you because he’s in a rush. Something about having to go to Leeds to give a lecture this evening, or so Simon said.’

‘Thank you, Karen. I’ll be right there.’

Felipe flinched when she spoke, wondering what had caused that ripple to run through him. He shot her an uneasy glance over his shoulder but she wasn’t looking at him. She took a stack of folders off the desk and went to the door, all the time avoiding eye contact with him.

She smiled as she handed the notes to the nurse, but Felipe could tell the effort it cost her to act as though nothing was wrong. All of a sudden, he wished that he hadn’t come because he’d achieved nothing from his visit. He’d simply upset himself and upset Rebecca, too.

Oddly, that last thought was the most disturbing of all. Hurting Rebecca hadn’t given him any satisfaction, as he’d hoped it would. It was an effort to hide his dismay when Rebecca addressed the other woman in a cool little voice that told him just how difficult she had found the past few minutes.

‘Check that all the obs are up to date, will you, Karen? You know how Mr Watts hates it if everything isn’t spot on.’

‘Do I ever!’ The nurse took the bundle then looked worriedly at Rebecca. ‘You will be there when he arrives? I don’t think I’m up to coping with one of his high-speed ward rounds.’

‘Of course. Dr Valdez was just leaving so I won’t be long.’

‘Valdez! Oh, I didn’t realise.’ The young nurse laughed as she turned to him. ‘What an idiot I am! I should have known the minute I saw you.’

She gave him a considering look. ‘Yes, I can see the resemblance now, especially around the eyes. Josh has exactly the same colour eyes as you have. Isn’t it amazing how something like eye colour can be passed on through a family?’

Felipe didn’t know what to say. He knew that she was waiting for him to answer, but there was no way that he could have formed even the simplest sentence.

He turned to Rebecca and this time she was looking straight at him—staring at him, to be precise. Her eyes seemed to be riveted to his face and the expression in them made his heart race. He had never seen such fear in anyone’s eyes before.

He heard the door close as the nurse hurriedly left, and almost laughed out loud. It was obvious that she was trying to be tactful because she’d sensed that she might have said something wrong, but it was far too late for that now. With a few unguarded words his life had been turned on its head.

‘Who is Josh?’

He didn’t realise the question had come from his lips at first because it hadn’t sounded like his voice. It had sounded too strained, too raw, too full of emotion to be the voice of Felipe Valdez. He saw Rebecca swallow, watched her mouth open and struggled to concentrate because it was vitally important that he heard what she said.

‘Josh is my son.’

She paused and he knew that he was holding his breath as he waited for her to continue. ‘He’s Antonio’s son, too.’

Becky could feel her heart beating, but it felt as though time had suddenly come to a halt. Felipe was standing stock still and the expression of shock on his face would have made her laugh if there had been anything remotely funny about the situation.

She saw him swallow and tried to prepare herself for what he would ask her. He would be bound to have questions—dozens of them—and she needed to decide what to tell him. But it was hard to think when her brain felt as though it had seized up.

‘My…my brother had a child…a son?’

Her heart ached with a sudden, fierce pain when she heard the bewilderment in his voice. For some reason she wanted to make this as easy as possible for him, even though she knew how dangerous it was to consider his feelings. One small slip, one unguarded word and the situation could spiral out of control.

‘Yes. His name is Josh and he’s nine months old,’ she told him quietly. ‘He looks very like Antonio and you, too, I suppose.’

She gave him a tentative smile, watching the rapid play of emotions that crossed his face as he struggled to make sense of what she was saying. ‘He definitely has your colour eyes, as Karen just mentioned. Antonio’s eyes were a lot darker.’

‘Antonio took after our mother,’ he said roughly. ‘I favour my father’s side of the family.’

‘But there’s still a strong resemblance between you both.’ She felt her heart catch because until then she really hadn’t been aware of the similarities between the two brothers. Now it scared her to realise how alike they were. The last thing she could afford was to look at Felipe and see Antonio. She had to remember that they were two very different people.

It was a relief when there was a knock on the door because she desperately needed some time to think about what had happened. She hurried to answer it, shaking her head when Debbie apologised for the interruption.

‘It’s fine, really. Don’t worry. Has Mr Watts arrived?’

‘Yes. Karen sent me to tell you.’ Debbie shot a curious glance at Felipe then lowered her voice. ‘He’s none too pleased because you weren’t there to meet him, I’m afraid, Becky.’

‘I’ll be straight there,’ she assured her.

She closed the door then felt her heart skip a beat when she turned and found Felipe standing right behind her. He was so close that she could smell the tangy scent of his aftershave, feel the heat of his body, and all of a sudden it felt as though her senses were being swamped by him.

‘I have to go,’ she explained, quickly moving away. She went to the desk and picked up a pen, trying her best not to let him see how nervous she was all of a sudden. She had never felt like this around Antonio, never once felt so deeply aware of him as she was of his brother. The idea worried her for a moment until it struck her that it was because Antonio had never presented a threat to her, like Felipe did.

‘I have to get back to work,’ she said more calmly, relieved to have found such a simple explanation.

‘But we need to talk, Rebecca. That is obvious. Sí?’

He had phrased it as a question, but Becky knew there wasn’t the slightest chance that he would let her refuse. He wanted to know all about Josh, and who could blame him?

Finding out that he was an uncle had come as a shock to him, but it was what happened from here on that frightened her most. She was under no illusions as to how Felipe felt about her. He might be struggling to come to terms with what had happened at the moment, but it wouldn’t be long before the implications of it hit him.

How would he feel about her being Josh’s mother? Maybe he would have to accept it while he believed that Josh really was her child, but if the truth ever emerged it would be a very different story. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Felipe would waste no time trying to remove her from his nephew’s life.

She bit her lip as the irony of the situation struck her. A few days ago she had seen Felipe Valdez as her only hope to stop Josh being taken away from her. Now he presented as big a threat as Tara did.

It was an effort to contain her panic, but she couldn’t afford to give in to it. She carefully wiped all expression from her face when Felipe spoke.

‘This is the address and telephone number of the hotel where I am staying. I shall expect you to call me as soon as you are free.’ He took a notebook from his jacket pocket and wrote down the details then tore off the sheet and handed it to her. ‘We need to arrange a time this evening when we can meet.’

‘But I don’t finish work until six,’ she protested, knowing that she needed more time to work out what she should tell him.

‘Six o’clock will be fine. I shall expect you to call me then. To be perfectly blunt, Miss Williams, I am not prepared to wait while you choose a time that is more convenient for you.’

He didn’t say anything else before he left. Becky heard his footsteps echoing along the corridor and shuddered as reaction set in. She took a deep breath, but the feeling of panic was getting worse.

Maybe it was understandable that he should want to know all about his brother’s child, but she didn’t dare think about how difficult it was going to be, explaining everything to him. How much could she really afford to tell him?

It was an effort to put that thought out of her mind as she hurried into the ward. James Watts, the consultant in charge of the IC unit, was waiting by the door with his party, and he greeted her with noticeable coolness.

‘Ah, there you are, Staff. Good of you to join us. If we’re all here at last, shall we get started? I have to be in Sheffield by five, and the last thing I need are any more delays.’

Becky hastily apologised, feeling suitably rebuked. They went straight to Danny Epstein’s bed and she handed James the boy’s notes. Danny had been admitted a few days earlier with severe endocarditis—inflammation of the internal lining of the heart—and he was still giving them cause for concern.

She waited by the bed while James read through the night staff’s report in his usual thorough fashion. Although the consultant had brought several students with him that morning, as well as his two registrars, it was very quiet. Nobody dared to interrupt him or they would suffer the consequences.

Becky found her thoughts drifting back to what had happened in the office as the silence lengthened. What would be the best way to handle this coming meeting with Felipe? He was bound to have a lot of questions and she had to find a way to answer them without arousing his suspicions—

‘We’ll continue the high-dose antibiotics and hope that they’ll clear things up eventually…Staff?’

She blinked as James Watts paused and peered at her over the top of his spectacles. A wash of colour ran up her face when she saw Simon Montague, the senior registrar, treat her to a conspiratorial grin. It must have been obvious to everyone that she hadn’t been paying attention, and it alarmed her that she had allowed her own problems to intrude on her work.

‘I’ll mark that down on Danny’s card,’ she said, hurriedly thinking back over what the consultant had said. ‘Is the cardio team planning on replacing the damaged heart valves soon?’

‘Once we have the infection under control,’ James replied shortly, making sure she knew that he didn’t appreciate it when members of his staff failed to give him their undivided attention.

Becky breathed a sigh of relief when James turned to the students and began to outline the boy’s case history. She’d got off pretty lightly, bearing in mind that she’d already provoked the consultant’s wrath once that day.

‘This young fellow caught an infection whilst having a tooth extracted,’ James explained. He paused, the students hanging on his every word. ‘Lo and behold, a few days later he came down with endocarditis. We know for certain that two of the valves have been damaged, but we shall have to wait and see how badly the rest have been affected.’

Becky gathered together the notes as the students exclaimed in amazement. They were in their first year at medical school and it was obvious they’d never realised that having a tooth out could be such a risky procedure. James had played up the dangers for dramatic effect, but at least it had helped to restore his good humour when his audience had responded as he’d hoped.

‘OK, so what’s wrong? You look as though you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.’ Simon hung back to talk to her as the others moved to the next bed.

Becky sighed inwardly when she saw the concern on his face. Simon was really nice and if it had been anything else worrying her she might have been tempted to unburden herself. However, there was no way that she could tell him what was wrong that day.

‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,’ she began, then looked round when James coughed. She flushed again when he treated her to another frosty stare.

‘I would like to finish this round some time today, Staff. So if you and Dr Montague would be kind enough to join us, I shall be eternally grateful.’

‘I’m sorry, sir,’ she said, hurrying over to join him. She could tell that Simon hadn’t believed her, but she decided that it would be simpler to let the subject drop. Although she wouldn’t like to offend Simon, he really wasn’t her priority at the moment.

She purposely drove all thoughts of Felipe Valdez out of her head while they completed the round then hurried to the office and busied herself with phoning through an order to the supplies department so that she could avoid having to speak to Simon again. He poked his head round the door and mouthed that he would catch her later then hurried away.

Becky sighed as she hung up. What was she going to do? Felipe now knew about Josh even though he wasn’t in possession of all the facts. But exactly how much should she tell him?

It was impossible to answer that question because so much depended on what Felipe intended to do. However, it did make her see how foolish it would be not to phone him as soon as she got home from work. Felipe Valdez wasn’t the kind of man who would simply disappear from her life because she wanted him to.

She frowned. Was that really what she wanted, though? Did she honestly wish that she would never have to see him again?

The answer should have been a resounding yes. Felipe was undoubtedly a threat to her and Josh, but her feelings towards him weren’t as clear-cut as they should have been.

Felipe couldn’t relax. For the past three hours he’d done nothing but pace his hotel room. Everything he’d learned kept whirling around inside his head and he couldn’t make sense of it.

Antonio had had a child with Rebecca Williams. A son. Was it true? Or was it another one of her schemes, another lie to add to the web of deceit that surrounded her?

He sank onto a chair and picked up the phone then sat and stared at it. He knew the number of the hospital by heart, but should he phone her or wait until she phoned him? He had to decide what he intended to ask her first. If she still maintained that the child—Josh, she’d called him—was Antonio’s son, surely he needed proof. Who knew how many men Rebecca Williams might have slept with? Any one of them could be the child’s father…

Only he had a gut feeling that wasn’t the case. Rebecca’s son was also his brother’s child, the only thing left on this earth that could provide a tangible link to Antonio. By heaven, he wasn’t going to sit there and phone her or wait for her to contact him. He was going to see her again, and this time he intended to find out exactly what was going on.

A thin smile curved his mouth. He only hoped that Rebecca wouldn’t try to lie to him because it would be a mistake.

Becky was late leaving the hospital because there had been a crisis when Danny Epstein had arrested. It had taken the combined efforts of the whole team to stabilise him and he had now been sent to Theatre to have two badly damaged heart valves replaced.

Whether he would survive the operation in his weakened state was in the lap of the gods, but it was his only chance and she applauded his parents’ decision to take it. It wasn’t easy being a parent, as she had discovered.

A smile tilted her lips as she hurried out of the main doors. She loved collecting Josh at the end of the day because he was always so happy to see her. The little boy had a wonderfully sunny nature, which had made him rather a pet of the child-minder who looked after him while she was at work. It was reassuring to know that he was being well cared for when she couldn’t be with him.

‘Miss Williams.’

She stopped dead when she recognised the voice that had called her name. She’d known that Felipe wouldn’t rest until he’d got to the bottom of this situation, but she’d hoped to have a little more time before she spoke to him again. Now, when she turned and saw the uncompromising expression on his face, she felt her heart start to race.

Would she be able to stop him finding out that she wasn’t Josh’s real mother? Everything hinged on her doing that.