Читать книгу The Son That Changed His Life - Jennifer Taylor - Страница 9

TOM arrived about twenty minutes later. Emily hurried to the door when she heard his footsteps coming up the path. The rest of the team were assembling by the cars while Alan supervised the loading of the stretcher into one of the vehicles.

‘How is he?’ Emily asked, ushering Tom inside.

‘Not too good.’ He glanced into the sitting room and sighed. ‘Severe hypothermia from being half-submerged in the stream for several hours, plus a badly fractured femur. Good job Ben spoke to HQ. They’ve arranged for the helicopter to meet us in town and do the transfer.’

Emily nodded, not needing to labour the point. Speed was of the essence and the poor man was already at a disadvantage after being missing for so long. She led the way into the sitting room, avoiding Ben’s eyes as she went over to Louise. She’d let Tom fill him in. The less she had to say to him the better.

‘Louise, your husband is going to be flown to hospital in the emergency helicopter,’ she explained gently, sitting down beside her. ‘There isn’t room for you, I’m afraid, but someone will take you there so you can be with him.’

‘Alan’s going to take her,’ Tom put in, dropping wearily into an armchair.

‘Oh, that’s good.’ Emily smiled at the woman but still failed to get a response. Louise continued to sit there. She hadn’t attempted to drink her tea despite Emily’s urgings and Emily was beginning to feel really concerned.

‘Louise seems to be very shocked,’ she said, glancing at Tom. ‘She hasn’t said a word since she got here.’

Tom frowned. ‘She didn’t say anything when we found her, either.’ He turned to Ben. ‘Do you think this is a normal reaction?’

‘It’s difficult to say. Everyone reacts differently to stress,’ Ben replied. He got up and came over to the sofa and Emily hurriedly moved aside as he crouched down in front of the woman. ‘Do you understand what we are saying, Louise? Your husband is alive and he’s being taken to hospital.’

Louise looked at him with hollow eyes. ‘Are you sure? Sure that Dennis is alive? Only the last time it happened, they were wrong, you see.’

Emily frowned. ‘The last time? You mean this has happened before?’

‘Not to Dennis, no. But to my first husband…’ Louise broke off. She gave a little sob then managed to collect herself. ‘Frank and I were out shopping one day when he had a heart attack. The paramedics told me that he was all right but he wasn’t. I don’t think they meant to lie, really, they just didn’t realise…’

Louise couldn’t go on as tears overwhelmed her. Emily patted her hand, trying to hide her dismay. No wonder the poor woman was so distressed. To have it happen once would have been bad enough but to have something similar occur a second time must be horrendous.

‘It isn’t the same this time,’ Ben said gently and Emily shivered when she heard the compassion in his voice. Nobody hearing it could doubt that he wanted to help and she suddenly wished with all her heart that she’d received this kind of consideration when she had told him about Theo. It was hard not to let her emotions get the better of her as he continued in the same caring tone.

‘Your husband is alive and he will be treated at the hospital. Yes, he is very sick, but he’s alive, Louise, and everything possible will be done to keep him that way.’

Louise took a shuddering breath then stumbled to her feet. ‘I want to see him.’

‘I’ll take you,’ Tom offered immediately, standing up. He led her to the door, leaving Emily alone with Ben. He stood up as well, making it clear that he had no intention of lingering. Why should he, Emily thought bitterly as she followed him out. There was nothing here to interest him, after all.

‘Mummy!’

A pitiful wail from the top of the stairs brought her spinning round and her heart sank when she saw Theo standing there. He had Raffie, his favourite toy giraffe clutched in one hand, and his comfort blanket in the other. Obviously all the comings and goings had woken him up.

‘It’s all right, darling,’ she said, running up the stairs and picking him up. She cuddled him close, feeling the tremor that passed through his sturdy little body. The cottage was quite secluded and he wasn’t used to hearing a lot of strange noises during the night.

She carried him downstairs, knowing it was pointless taking him back to bed. Theo needed a little reassurance and there was no one better for that than his mummy. She reached the last tread and stopped, only then realising that Ben was still standing where she’d left him. She’d expected him to beat a hasty retreat as soon as he’d heard Theo but, oddly enough, he was still there.

She glanced at him and felt her blood freeze when she saw the expression on his face. Shock, disbelief, amazement were all etched there clear to see. For a moment Emily couldn’t understand what was going on and then it struck her in a blinding flash what had happened. Ben had finally been forced to acknowledge the truth. Now that he’d seen Theo, he could no longer claim he wasn’t the child’s father. The resemblance which had been so apparent to her from the moment her son had been born couldn’t be denied, although no doubt once Ben recovered his composure, he would do so. Tipping back her head, she looked him straight in the eyes.

‘This is my son, Theo.’

Ben felt as though his body had turned to jelly. His legs were shaking and his insides were trembling as he stared at the little boy clinging hold of Emily’s neck. The resemblance was unmistakable. He had two nephews and this child—Theo?—looked so like them that it was staggering. Had he been wrong? Was it possible that he had fathered this child after all?

‘Right, that’s settled. Alan’s taking Louise with him…’ Tom came back into the cottage. He stopped when he realised that he was interrupting something. He glanced uncertainly from Emily and Theo to Ben then did a double take, and Ben knew—he just knew!—that Tom had seen it too, seen the resemblance between him and Emily’s son.

It was all too much to take in and far too much to deal with. Swinging round, Ben strode out of the door, hearing Emily’s murmured response when Tom said something to her before he quickly followed him. He got into the back of the second Land Rover, cramming himself into the corner as Tom got in beside him. The rest of the team had divided themselves between the vehicles as best they could with the stretcher taking up so much room. It was a squeeze to fit everyone in but he didn’t care. At least Tom couldn’t ask him any awkward questions, awkward because he had no idea what the answers were. Had he been mistaken, had he seen something in the child that wasn’t there? Maybe he could have convinced himself if his friend hadn’t seen it too!

The drive back to town was completed in silence, at least on their behalf. The rest of the group was buoyed up by the fact that they’d found the missing couple. They tried to persuade him and Tom to join them for a celebratory pint at The Ship but Ben refused. He needed to be on his own, needed to sort out how he felt and after that, more importantly, he needed to work out what he was going to do. If the child was his then his whole life was about to change.

‘How about a nightcap?’ Tom let them in, closing the door quietly so as not to disturb Hannah and Charlie who were asleep upstairs. ‘You look as though you could do with one, if you don’t mind me saying so.’

‘Feel free.’ Ben sighed as he followed Tom into the sitting room. Maybe he would prefer to be alone but he could hardly refuse to talk to Tom. Slumping down in a chair, he looked at his friend with sardonic amusement. ‘It’s been an eventful night, one way and another.’

‘It has indeed.’ Tom handed him a glass of single malt then sat down. ‘Am I right in thinking that tonight turned out to be rather a shock for you?’

‘Yes.’ Ben took a sip of the fiery liquid and let it trickle down his throat.

‘So you had no idea about Theo?’

‘Yes and no.’ Another sip of whisky followed the first and the fire reached his belly. He had a son, a child of his own, something he had never dared hope he would have. Shock slowly started to turn to something more, the first glimmer of a far more positive emotion, but he battened it down. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, didn’t want to believe the evidence of his eyes with nothing to back it up.

‘Yes and no? I don’t understand. Either you knew that Theo was yours or you didn’t. Which is it?’

‘Emily told me she was expecting my child but I didn’t believe her.’ The words sounded so bald that the burgeoning feeling of euphoria disappeared. They obviously had a detrimental effect on Tom too because his tone sharpened.

‘Why the hell not? Emily’s not the sort of woman who’d string a guy along. Anyone who knows her will tell you that.’

Ben grimaced, aware that he had sunk more than a little in his friend’s estimation. ‘I didn’t believe her because I thought I was incapable of fathering a child.’

‘Really? How come?’

Tom’s tone was less abrasive and Ben sighed. Although he rarely talked about what had happened this was one time when he needed to open up.

‘I had Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was in my twenties.’ He shrugged. ‘I had chemotherapy and I was told that it was unlikely I would be able to father a child because of the combination of drugs I’d received. A subsequent fertility test seemingly proved that.’

‘I had no idea!’ Tom exclaimed.

Ben smiled wryly. ‘It’s not something I talk about normally.’

‘No. I can understand that.’ Tom frowned. ‘So, what you’re saying is that you’ve always believed you were infertile?’

Ben nodded. ‘Yes. When Emily came to see me in Paris, I simply assumed she was lying and that the child wasn’t mine.’

‘But surely you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that?’ Tom protested.

‘Maybe I should have done. However, when you have always believed what you’ve been told, it’s difficult to accept that someone is telling you something very different.’ Ben summoned a smile, trying not to let his friend see how awful he felt. He had been so cruel to Emily that day, turned her away with harsh words instead of offering her the support she’d deserved. He couldn’t bear to think how she must have suffered.

‘I suppose so.’

Tom sounded dubious and Ben realised that his friend still considered him to be at fault in some way. The fact that he felt he was too didn’t make him feel any better. They both drank a little more whisky before Tom spoke again and there was a definite challenge in his voice.

‘So what are you going to do? Are you going to try and sort out this mess or are you planning on leaving the situation as it is?’

‘Obviously, it needs sorting out. If I’m Theo’s father then there is no way that I intend to turn my back on him. I want to be involved in his life.’

‘If Emily will let you.’

‘Oui. If Emily will let me,’ Ben agreed flatly. ‘I would not blame her if she refused. When I recall what I said to her that day…’ He broke off and shrugged.

Tom shook his head. ‘It seems to me that you’ve a lot of ground to make up. If I can help in any way then just ask. However, I have a feeling that only you can work this out, you and Emily, that is.’ Tom downed the rest of his drink and stood up. He patted Ben on the shoulder as he passed. ‘Why don’t you sleep on it? Most problems appear better after a night’s rest, I find.’

Ben stayed where he was as Tom headed upstairs. He swirled the whisky around the glass. Would there be a solution in the morning though? Would he know how to approach Emily and make his apologies? Would she accept them? He had accused her of lying about something so important and he wouldn’t blame her if she refused to have anything to do with him. Tom was right because he should have realised that Emily would never try to deceive him that way. Even though they had known each other for such a short time, he should have recognized that it was alien to her nature.

He sighed. In his own defence, he had firmly believed that he was infertile. Although, as a doctor, he understood that nothing was ever one hundred per cent certain, the tests he’d had seemingly had ruled out the possibility of him fathering a child. That was why it had never occurred to him that Emily might have been telling him the truth. He had seen the test results, seen the evidence with his own eyes, ergo she’d been lying.

The fact that he’d felt so hurt and betrayed by her apparent treachery had been another reason why he had reacted so strongly, he realised. Having cancer had changed his whole outlook on life. He had stopped planning for the future for the simple reason that the future might never happen. That was why he had taken only short-term working contracts after he’d recovered. A month here, two months there—it may not have been the career he’d planned, but at least he wouldn’t end up letting people down.

As for his private life, well, that had been simpler; any relationships he’d had had been strictly casual. There were no certainties in his life any more. Things could and did change in the blink of an eye as he knew from experience. He wasn’t in a position whereby he could commit himself to a relationship. However, when he’d met Emily, he had found himself doing the unthinkable, imagining what it would be like to share his life with her. That was why it had hit him so hard when she’d told him she was pregnant. He had always wanted a child and he’d known that he would have loved their child so very much…

Ben made himself stop right there. That was all in the past. Now he had to focus on the present, on finding a way to persuade Emily to give him a second chance. He only had to recall his relationship with his own father to understand how important it was that he and Theo got to know one another. It wasn’t going to be easy to convince Emily after the way he had behaved. Maybe there had been mitigating factors, and maybe she would take them into account if he was lucky, but all the maybes in the world didn’t add up to a guarantee. Whilst he was sure that Theo would benefit from having him around, he doubted if Emily would feel that she’d gain from it.

He grimaced. From what he had seen, Emily neither needed nor wanted him in her life.

Emily was glad that it was Saturday and that there was no surgery that day. Although she loved her job, a sleepless night had left her feeling drained. She got Theo dressed then gave him his breakfast in the garden because it was another gloriously sunny day. Leaving him eating his cereal, she went back inside and made herself a cup of coffee.

All night long thoughts had whizzed around her head, thoughts of Theo and Ben and what would happen. Would Ben change his mind about wanting to be involved in Theo’s life now that he’d seen him, or would it make no difference whatsoever? It would be easier if she knew how she felt about it all but she didn’t. On the one hand she didn’t want anything to do with Ben after the way he had treated her; however, on the other, she couldn’t bear to think that Theo might suffer if she denied him access to his father. Having been brought up by parents who had loved and supported her unconditionally, she didn’t want to deny Theo that same opportunity.

A knock on the front door roused her from her reverie and she hurried to answer it, expecting it to be her elderly neighbour, Mrs Rose. She often called on Saturday morning with her shopping list so that Emily could pick up what she needed at the supermarket. Opening the door, she summoned a smile that rapidly faded when she found Ben standing on the step.

‘What do you want?’ she demanded.

‘I think that’s obvious, don’t you?’ he replied calmly.

Emily’s lips compressed firstly because the trite answer annoyed her intensely and secondly because how dared he sound so calm when she felt so churned up? ‘No, I don’t think it’s obvious. Not when it concerns a man who has no desire whatsoever to acknowledge his responsibilities.’

‘That was then and this is now.’ He gave another of those shrugs but it had the opposite effect this time. Emily felt her temper soar. His arrogance was breathtaking. He seemed to think that he could pick and choose what he wanted to do with no recourse to anyone else, and especially not to her!

‘Really? Well, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, Ben. You made your feelings perfectly clear when I came to see you. You didn’t believe me when I told you I was expecting your child, or at least, that was the line you fed me.’

‘It wasn’t a line. I didn’t believe you.’

The conviction in his voice cut through her anger and she stared at him in shock. ‘You really mean that, don’t you?’

‘Oui. I had no reason to believe what you were saying but every reason to doubt it.’ He paused and she sensed that he found it difficult to continue but she refused to help him. Why should she make this easier for him when he had been so cruel to her?

‘I had cancer when I was in my twenties. After I’d finished my treatment, I was told that I could never father a child.’ He looked her in the eyes and she could see the pain in his. ‘That was why I didn’t believe you, Emily. I couldn’t accept that the child you were carrying was mine when I’d been told it could never happen.’