Читать книгу Saving His Little Miracle - Jennifer Taylor - Страница 12

CHAPTER THREE

THEY SAT OUTSIDE on the terrace. Lowri much preferred it there to the stiff formality of the salone with its antique furniture and priceless objets d’art and she was glad when Vincenzo suggested it. Now, as she looked around the gardens, she felt some of the tension seep out of her. Maybe it was foolish to see it as a positive sign that he would agree to her request, but at least he was prepared to listen to her.

‘Who’s looking after the chil... Looking after Megan while you’re here?’

Lowri’s mouth curved into a tiny smile as he corrected himself. Another positive step. ‘My sister, Cerys. She’s looked after Megan since she was a baby when I went back to work.’

‘You returned to work soon after she was born?’ Vincenzo queried, his dark brows drawing into a frown.

‘When she was six months old.’ Lowri shrugged, refusing to let him see how guilty she felt about having to leave her daughter at such a tender age. ‘Needs must, and I needed to work to support us.’

‘I see.’ He glanced across the lawn, his eyes resting on the glimmering vista of the lake just visible through the trees. ‘So you and your fiancé didn’t resolve your differences?’

‘No.’ Lowri didn’t elaborate. Although she had told Vincenzo the whole sorry tale five years ago, she didn’t intend to go over it again. If she was honest, she still felt foolish about allowing Jonathan to deceive her. He had promised her the earth—a home and a family, the happily-ever-after every woman dreamt about. Unfortunately, the one thing he had failed to mention was that he was already married.

‘It must have been difficult for you, Lowri. Working and caring for a baby can’t have been easy. You must have resented being burdened with such a problem.’ His voice was flat and she frowned, wondering at his choice of words.

‘It hasn’t been easy and especially not this past year. But Megan has never been a burden. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, if you want the truth.’

‘Really?’ He sounded so surprised that she frowned this time.

‘Yes, really. She’s a happy and contented little girl who gets up to all sorts of mischief.’ She laughed. ‘Last year I had the paddling pool out in the garden and she used her watering can to fill my wellies with water. I only realised it when I put them on!’

‘And were you cross with her?’ he asked, studying her face with an odd intensity.

‘Of course not! I couldn’t possibly have been cross when it was so funny.’ Her expression sobered abruptly. ‘I only wish she was well enough to get up to that sort of mischief these days.’

‘She will be. I’m sure she’ll be doing all sorts of naughty things very soon.’

He touched her hand, his fingers making only the briefest contact before he drew away, but Lowri still felt her breath catch. It was the first time he had willingly touched her since that night five years ago and she felt dizzy with the rush of sensations that thought aroused. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to focus on what was happening. There was no point dwelling on the past when it was the present that mattered. However, it appeared that Vincenzo still had questions he wanted answered.

‘You said that you sent me a letter when you discovered you were pregnant. Was it true?’

‘Of course it was true!’ She sat up straighter, realising that she was in danger of forgetting just how tenuous her position really was. Whilst Vincenzo might seem more receptive to what she had to say, it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that he would agree to help her.

She blanked out the thought of what would need to happen if he were to agree. It was stupid to feel even the slightest hint of distaste. She had thought it all through and she was sure that asking him to donate sperm was the best thing to do. After all, she knew nothing about his life these days, if he was in a relationship or had remarried even. The last thing she wanted was to create problems for him so artificial insemination seemed like the best way forward.

Anyway, she certainly didn’t intend to sleep with him again. She had been bitterly hurt by his rejection and had no intention of placing herself in the same position again, even though, if she was honest, it hadn’t been an unpleasant experience at the time. Her cheeks burned at the thought and she hurried on.

‘I wrote to you, Vincenzo, and sent the letter to your apartment in Milan. I don’t know why you didn’t receive it but I definitely sent it.’

‘Neither do I,’ he began flatly, and then stopped.

‘What?’ Lowri demanded, because it was obvious that he had thought of something.

‘I went to America that year—to Chicago—for six months.’ He shrugged. ‘I was contacted by the surgical team there and asked if I would be interested in taking part in their exchange programme and I agreed.’

‘When was this?’

‘The beginning of September. I remember stepping out of the airport and wondering if I’d made a mistake because it was pouring with rain!’ He gave a little shudder then looked at her. ‘When did you send your letter?’

‘The end of August, not long after I found out I was pregnant,’ Lowri told him and frowned. ‘But even if my letter didn’t arrive before you left, it should have been waiting for you when you got back.’

‘Oh, I’m sure it would have been if a new concierge hadn’t been hired while I was away. Apparently, a lot of post went missing while he was in charge of the building, most of it containing items of value. Your letter must have been one of the ones he threw away.’

‘Good heavens!’ Lowri exclaimed. ‘That’s awful.’

‘It is. Thankfully, the police investigated following complaints by a number of residents and he was arrested, so he won’t be doing it again. However, it doesn’t make up for the fact that a lot of post went missing, your letter included, apparently.’

‘It would explain it,’ Lowri agreed slowly.

She bit her lip, mulling over what he had told her. For the past few years, she had assumed that he hadn’t replied to her letter because he hadn’t cared enough; however, it appeared that she had been wrong. The thought of having to adjust how she thought about him made her feel very on edge but she had to put it out of her mind for now. Right now she needed to find out what he intended to do and if she was right to think that he might agree to help her.

‘I know that you probably need more time to think about it, but how do you feel about us having another child, Vincenzo? I wouldn’t press you for an answer if it weren’t so urgent.’

‘I don’t know how I feel. That’s the honest answer.’

Vincenzo drew in his breath. Where was his legendary assurance when he needed it? He felt as keyed up as a teenager, his nerves so tightly strung that it was a wonder they didn’t snap. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before but, then, he had never been presented with this kind of a situation, had he? If he agreed to her request and they had another child, inevitably there would be consequences. How could he make her pregnant again and walk away? He would be tied to her, tied to the new baby as well as to their daughter, and the idea scared him.

He wasn’t father material. He had no idea how to behave in that role. What if he ended up ruining his children’s lives, albeit unwittingly? Everyone believed him to be cold and uncaring and what if they were right? What if he had buried his emotions so deep and for so long that he could never unearth them? Children needed time and love. And love was something he knew very little about.

Oh, his grandmother had loved him. Nonna had done her best to make up for his father’s lack of interest and she had succeeded to a point too. However, since Nonna had died, Vincenzo knew that he had become more withdrawn, even colder with other people. That was why his marriage had failed. Even though he and Carla had entered into the arrangement with their eyes open, his inability to show any emotion had been one of the reasons why Carla had divorced him.

What if he couldn’t find it in himself to treat his children with the warmth they had a right to expect? What if he was incapable of loving them as they deserved to be loved? He could remember only too well how much he had longed to hear his father speak to him with affection. It had never happened but it hadn’t stopped him hoping that it would. What if he was the same? What if he was emotionally bankrupt too?

Vincenzo felt panic assail him and it was such a rare feeling that it hit him harder than it would have hit most people. He was out of his depth and he had no idea what to do to save himself.

Only this wasn’t about him, was it? It was about a child. A little girl who could die if he refused to help her. His feelings didn’t matter. His fears couldn’t even compare to Lowri’s.

He glanced at Lowri, his heart aching when he saw the lines that strain had etched on her face. She had been living with this nightmare for over a year, living with it and coping too. She must have her own doubts about what she had suggested but she had set them aside. She was prepared to have another baby with him if it meant she could save her daughter and yet here he was worrying about how he might feel and whether or not he would come up to the mark.

Vincenzo was suddenly filled with disgust at his own selfishness. Had he sunk so low that he was prepared to withhold the most precious gift of all, that of saving a life, to avoid having his own life disrupted?

‘I’ll do it.’

His voice sounded harsh in the softness of the summer day. All around them there were insects droning, bees buzzing, nature carrying on in its own gentle way. He saw Lowri turn, saw the question in her eyes, and knew he couldn’t bear to hear her voice it out loud. If she asked him outright then he might just reconsider, allow cowardice to dictate his actions rather than compassion.

‘I agree to us having another baby if there’s a chance it will help Megan,’ he said shortly, wanting to make it perfectly clear with the minimum fuss.

‘I... Thank you.’ Tears glimmered on her lashes and hung there like precious jewels.

Vincenzo turned and stared at the lake, needing to focus on something other than her tears, tears that he longed to wipe away. He couldn’t afford to get emotionally involved. He had to remember that the only reason she was here was for the sake of their daughter. If it weren’t for Megan she would never have contacted him and the thought stung, for some reason.

‘I’m not sure exactly how we set about this. Obviously, there’s the time factor to consider. I did some research and apparently the fresher the sample, the better our chances of it working.’

‘Sample?’ Vincenzo repeated, pushing the thought aside. He saw her blush and frowned. ‘I’m sorry but I’m not sure what you mean.’

‘The sperm sample.’ She took a quick breath. ‘Naturally, you’ll want to wait for the results of the DNA tests before we go ahead—I’ve brought everything you need with me so that won’t be a problem. But we’ll need to make arrangements for the sperm sample to be delivered to me.’

Vincenzo felt as though he had been struck dumb. It had never even crossed his mind that she had come here to ask him for a sample of his sperm! He cleared his throat, afraid that he would say something far too revealing. To let her know just how disappointed he felt that they wouldn’t be sleeping together was out of the question!

‘Of course. There’s an excellent medical courier service we use at the hospital. I can make arrangements with them.’

‘Oh. Right. That sounds ideal.’ She took a package out of her bag and placed it on the table. ‘There are DNA samples in there from Megan and from me as well. You just need to add yours and send it off. It shouldn’t take long to get the results back.’

‘No. The tests are fairly quick nowadays,’ Vincenzo agreed flatly, still reeling from the thought of what was expected of him. He took a deep breath, realising that he was in danger of making too much of it. So Lowri didn’t intend to sleep with him—so what? He should be relieved that he would be able to sidestep any unnecessary complications.

He stood up when she rose, wondering why he found the idea less appealing than he should have done. Getting involved with her was something he intended to avoid at all costs. It was going to be difficult enough to deal with the thought of being a father without adding anything else to the equation.

The thought steadied him, helped him regain some much-needed equilibrium, and he smiled coolly at her. ‘I shall be in touch once the results are back. We can finalise the arrangements then.’

‘Of course.’ She held out her hand. ‘I really appreciate this, Vincenzo. I know it’s a lot to ask, especially in the circumstances, but it’s Megan’s best hope of making a full recovery and I’m truly grateful to you.’

Vincenzo took her hand, trying to ignore the rush of awareness that hit him as his fingers closed around hers. ‘You don’t need to thank me. It’s enough to know that I may be able to help her.’

He released her hand, relieved to break the contact. He led the way to the door, pausing briefly to glance at her. ‘How are you getting back to Garda? I assume you came here by taxi, so have you arranged to be collected?’

‘I...ehem...no,’ she admitted. ‘Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be able to flag down a cab on the way.’

‘I doubt it.’ He sighed, suddenly anxious to bring the meeting to an end. It was a lot to take in and he needed time to think about what had happened and what it meant. His whole life was about to change and it was worrying to know that the future he had mapped out so carefully now wouldn’t follow the route he had planned.

‘I’ll get my gardener to run you back,’ he said curtly. He shook his head when she started to protest. ‘No. I insist. If you’ll wait here, I’ll go and find him.’

Vincenzo didn’t give her time to say anything else as he strode out of the door. Alfredo was digging over a border but he stopped immediately when Vincenzo told him what he wanted him to do. Five minutes later the car was turning out of the drive but he knew it wasn’t the end of the matter. It couldn’t be when he had promised Lowri that he would help her.

A shiver ran down his spine and he turned away, wondering if he had made a mistake by giving her his word. There would be no going back on it now, no way that he could reconsider, and the thought filled him with such a mixture of emotions that his breath caught. If Lowri’s plan worked then he would be the father of not one but two children this time next year.

* * *

It was midnight by the time Lowri’s plane landed. The flight had been delayed and she was exhausted after the hours she had spent waiting around in Milan. Cerys was waiting when she came through customs, anxiously scanning the faces of all the passengers. She opened her arms and Lowri stepped into them, feeling relief pour through her as her sister enveloped her in a hug.

‘So, how did it go?’ Cerys demanded as she let her go.

‘He agreed.’ Lowri drummed up a smile, although her insides were churning as they had been doing ever since Vincenzo had told her his decision.

‘Really? Wow!’ Cerys sounded so shocked that Lowri laughed.

‘I know. I was stunned too. It was such a long shot, wasn’t it? I mean, he hardly knows me...’ She trailed off, unable to continue as her throat closed up with a sudden attack of nerves.

‘You hardly know him, either,’ Cerys reminded her, leading the way to the car park. She zapped open the car doors then treated Lowri to an old-fashioned look. ‘You are sure about this? I mean, it’s a huge step to have another baby even when you’re in a proper relationship and this is very different.’

‘I know, but what choice do I have?’ Lowri’s eyes filled with tears. ‘If I don’t have this baby and something happens to Megan then I’ll always wonder if I could have prevented it. I couldn’t live with myself, Cerys, really I couldn’t!’

‘I know. Take no notice of me. You’re doing the right thing, love, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.’

Cerys gave her a smile then got into the car and after a moment Lowri got in as well. She knew her sister was simply concerned about her and she appreciated it, but she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t have her own doubts. Having a baby was a big decision for any woman and all the more so in this situation.

Even though there was a greater chance of a sibling being a match for Megan, it wasn’t guaranteed. From the moment she had decided to approach Vincenzo, she had ruled out the idea of having the baby tested before it was born for the simple reason that she knew she could never abort it. To destroy one life to possibly save another was something she couldn’t do so she was going to have to trust to luck that the baby would be a suitable donor.

Should she have made that clear to Vincenzo? she wondered suddenly. She would hate him to think that she had misled him and she made a note to mention it when they next spoke.

Her heart jolted because the next time they spoke, they would have to finalise the arrangements for the sperm donation. There simply wasn’t time to delay if this was to work and yet it seemed so cold, so...so emotionless to conceive a child this way. She sighed. It was emotionless, though. Vincenzo had agreed to her proposal purely to help Megan, not because he wanted to have another child with her. Feelings didn’t enter into it, neither hers nor his...if he had any.

Lowri closed her eyes, unsure why the idea made her feel so sad. She and Vincenzo were just two people who had met at a time when each had needed comfort. They had fulfilled a mutual need but that was all it had been. Oh, she had found him very attractive; she still did. But she hadn’t been in love with him or him with her. And yet for some reason the thought of him living his life in an emotional wasteland hurt. Vincenzo deserved more than that. He deserved to be loved, deserved to be in love too.

* * *

Vincenzo drove to Milan the following day. He went straight to a lab he had used many times during the course of his work and arranged to have the DNA tests done. He was a valued client and they promised to get the results back to him within a couple of days.

He gave them his phone number then headed to his lawyer’s office next. Although Lowri had rejected his offer of financial support for Megan, he intended to make arrangements anyway. He also needed to know what his position was with regard to the child, and if he had any rights as her father. Maybe he was putting the cart before the horse when he still didn’t have proof that Megan was his daughter but he needed to clarify the situation. Hopefully, he would feel better once he knew exactly what he was dealing with.

He sighed as he parked the car outside the lawyer’s office. He had spent a sleepless night thinking about what had happened and what he had agreed to do and he still wasn’t sure if he had made the right decision. The thought of how it was going to affect his life wasn’t easy to deal with. Having one child would be difficult enough to cope with and having a second would only double the problems.

He could only imagine the impact it was going to have on his life and yet what else could he have done? If Megan was his daughter—and he was sure that she was—then he owed it to her to do everything he could to help her. After all, she was his flesh and blood and she would carry on the Lombardi name after he died.

The thought of having an heir had never occurred to him before and yet Vincenzo felt a sudden rush of pleasure at the idea. Getting out of the car, he made his way into the building with a new spring in his step. The name of Lombardi wouldn’t die out now, as he had always assumed; it would be carried on by his own children. It felt remarkably good to know that too.

* * *

Vincenzo decided to go into work the following day. The meeting with his lawyer had taken far longer than he had expected but he now had a much clearer idea of his position. The lawyer had been quite blunt as he had explained that Lowri held all the cards at the present moment. She was the child’s mother and until he had proof that he was Megan’s father, he would have to abide by her wishes. While he could make arrangements to set up a trust fund in Megan’s name, he couldn’t force Lowri to accept financial support from him if she refused to do so.

For a man like him, who was used to being in sole charge of his affairs, it was unsettling to realise how tenuous his position actually was. Hopefully, a visit to the hospital would help to put some much-needed balance back into his life.

The familiar smell of antiseptic greeted him as he stepped out of the lift and he inhaled deeply. He had missed this. Missed the smell. Missed the buzz. Missed the adrenaline rush that came from saving lives under the most difficult of circumstances. Neurosurgery was one of the most demanding specialities. It needed strong nerves and steady hands and he possessed both—or he had done until the skiing accident that had partially severed one of the major nerves in his arm.

Vincenzo flexed his fingers as he opened the scrub-room door. Although he was ninety-nine per cent certain that he had regained full use of his hand, there was still that tiny doubt, that one per cent of uncertainty. Until he was completely confident about his prowess, he wouldn’t operate. He would use the time instead to sort out this business with Lowri and the baby.

Heat flowed through him at the thought of how he would like to sort it out and he paused, wanting to be in control when he saw his team. There was no point thinking that he would prefer it if they conceived this child the old-fashioned way; Lowri would never agree. However, he knew that it was one of the reasons why he hadn’t been able to sleep. Every time he had closed his eyes his mind had conjured up pictures of them together. Although he had tried not to think about that night they had slept together, the memories had obviously lodged in his brain and all it had needed was an excuse to unleash them.

A shudder passed through him as he suddenly found himself recalling how smooth and silky her skin had felt when he had run his hands over it and how firm her breasts had been as he had caressed them...

A burst of laughter issuing from behind the partly opened door brought him back to the present and he frowned. He couldn’t remember his team laughing like that; he would definitely have discouraged them if they had. He was about to enter the room and remonstrate with them when he heard someone speaking and recognised the voice as belonging to his second in command, Jack Wallace.

‘Now, now, settle down, guys. You know our beloved leader wouldn’t appreciate it if he thought we were having fun.’ Jack’s voice changed, his American drawl replaced by the parody of an Italian accent. ‘The work we do here is far too serious to joke about.’

More laughter greeted this. Vincenzo felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him when he realised that they were laughing at him rather than at Jack’s abysmal attempt to mimic him. He let the door swing shut, stunned that he should take any notice. What did it matter if he was a figure of fun? Why should he care if people thought he was too strict? He was a damned fine surgeon and he achieved the kind of results that most surgeons could only dream about. He didn’t need their approbation or their love!

Swinging round, he made for the lift. Five minutes later he was in his car and heading back to his apartment. He parked in the underground garage then took the lift to the penthouse and let himself in. It took a mere ten minutes to pack himself a bag and that was it.

Glancing around the elegant, designer-styled rooms, he gave a dismissive shrug. There was nothing here he needed, nothing that he would miss either. They were merely things, purchased to create the right impression. He had no emotional attachment to anything in the apartment. No emotional attachment to anything in his life, in fact, and all of a sudden he hated it. Hated the apartment, hated the way he lived, although he had no idea what he planned to do about it.

Vincenzo picked up his case and left. He was going to take the first step towards changing his life and simply see where it led him.