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Chapter Eight

‘He was smarmy. There is no way I could date him without wanting to push his face into a bowl of piping hot soup.’

‘You’d already pre-judged him on his name.’

‘Of course I pre-judged him on his name! Who wouldn’t?’

Alice and I are sitting in our designated seats in the dining room. Despite stuffing ourselves silly with the picnic lunch earlier, we are now feeling so ravenous after our exhausting wander around the castle and its grounds that we’re among the first to arrive for dinner. I’ve changed out of my travel-creased jeans and T-shirt combo and slipped into a slim-fitting, off-the-shoulder cream dress with a midi-length skirt. It’s gorgeous and I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it in the shop (and fell more deeply in love when I noticed the sales tag). My ballet flats have been replaced with a pair of T-bar peep toe heels and I’ve made an effort with my hair. I usually scrape my shoulder-length brown hair into a simple ponytail, but this evening I’ve pinned it up into a messy bun with gently waved tendrils framing my face.

I wouldn’t have judged him on his name.’ Alice arches an eyebrow at me. ‘And don’t think I’m fooled by your pickiness either. I know exactly what you’re up to.’

I fold my arms across my chest. ‘And what would that be, exactly?’

‘You’re avoiding relationships. Using any excuse to end them – or stop them from forming in the first place. Take your recent date, for example…’

I raise a finger to stop Alice in her tracks. ‘Hold on there. He wanted me to meet his parents after three measly dates. That’s a perfectly valid reason to halt proceedings!’

Alice gives a one-shouldered shrug. ‘Perhaps. Or – and here’s a crazy thought – you could have explained that it was a bit too soon, that you should get to know each other a bit better first. I’m sure he would have understood, but you never gave him the chance. You saw your opportunity to dismiss him and killed the relationship before it could begin. It’s what you do.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ My mouth is gaping open in outrage. It’s what I do? ‘Since when?’

‘Since Edward.’ I flinch at the name. I’d been with Edward for almost three years and had silly notions of doing the whole settling-down thing with him, so the break-up had been tough, however necessary. ‘The two of you were so good together. You were happy.’

I look down at the gleaming cutlery in front of me. ‘Things change.’

‘I know it was hard when your mum died.’

‘Alice.’ My tone has an edge to it. A warning. Alice knows I don’t like to talk about Mum.

‘But you pushed him away when you needed him most.’ Alice holds up her hands when I glare at her. ‘That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.’

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard Alice say this. I’ve heard it time and again and, like always, I shake my head.

‘It was never going to work out between us. I hadn’t been happy for a long time.’

This isn’t strictly true, but Alice can’t prove otherwise.

‘And what about your relationships since?’

‘What other relationships? I haven’t been on more than a handful of dates with anybody in the past year.’

‘Exactly!’ Alice throws me a triumphant look. I return a withering one. ‘Do you know the maximum number of dates you’ve allowed yourself with any one guy?’

I shrug and emit a long sigh. ‘I don’t know. Six? Seven?’

‘Three.’ Alice leaves a pause to allow it to sink in. ‘Three dates. Nobody gets a fourth, because you always find a reason to end it, whether it’s because he wants you to meet his parents, or wears a beanie hat indoors, or watches Hollyoaks.’

All valid reasons, I think.

‘But it isn’t about them,’ Alice says before I can defend myself. ‘It’s about you and your fear of allowing anybody to get close.’

I scoff. I fiddle with my cutlery. But I don’t disagree.

‘Ever since your mum…’

‘No, Alice.’ My voice is sharper than I intend, but I have to put a stop to it. I won’t talk about her. Not here, not now.

‘I’m sorry,’ Alice says, but I’ve already scraped back my chair and am striding from the room.

I take a moment to compose myself, perching on the stone steps while I take deep, calming breaths. I know Alice means well, that she wants what’s best for me, but I need her to back off, to let me live the life I want to. Need to. Because matching me up with a man isn’t going to fix me. There’s a reason I hold back, why I guard myself so fiercely.

‘Is it the food or the company?’

I turn at the sound of the voice, looking up to see the guy who’d helped me with the suitcases earlier. He’s at the top of the steps, looking down with a bemused smile twitching at his lips.

‘Sorry?’

‘The reason you’re hiding out here. Is it the food or the company?’

I push my mouth into what vaguely resembles a smile. ‘Neither. Just needed a bit of fresh air.’

‘Should I leave you alone?’ He indicates the door, which he’s been holding open with his shoulder, and starts to back inside the castle.

‘No, it’s fine.’ I stand up and brush down the skirt of my dress. ‘I should be getting back inside anyway. Alice will be wondering where I am.’

‘Yes, that’s right.’ His face lights up as I climb the steps. ‘You’re a friend of Alice’s. How is she? I haven’t seen her for ages. Not since…’ The smile vanishes from his face. ‘Well, you know.’

No, actually, I don’t. What the hell happened the last time Alice was here? People keep hinting at it, but I haven’t got a clue. It must have been something big to keep Alice away from her beloved castle. I’ll grill her later and find out the goss.

I follow him inside the castle and the sound as we near the dining room is incredible. The room has started to fill now and the dozens of conversations taking place are reaching a crescendo.

‘Do you know where you’re sitting?’ he asks, and I nod, pointing at the table where Alice and I were seated earlier. The table has filled up, though Alice is no longer there. ‘I’m over there.’ He points further down the room. ‘But I’ll find you later, in the ballroom?’ He waits until I’ve nodded in agreement – it would seem churlish to do anything other than agree – before striding off to find his seat. I sit down at the table, shooting awkward smiles at my dinner companions. The only person I recognise is Mr Cravat, though he’s removed the neckwear by now.

‘I mean, it’s got to be a sick joke, right?’ one of the women is saying to her neighbour. ‘Seating us with her.’ She presses a hand to her throat, where a diamond pendant is catching the light. ‘Keep an eye on your valuables, that’s all I’ll say.’

‘Oh, absolutely.’ Her neighbour nods, one hand covering a giant emerald ring on the middle finger of the other.

‘Ssh!’ the woman suddenly hisses. ‘Here she comes.’

I follow their gaze and almost laugh out loud when I realise it’s Alice they’re tracking across the room. They’re worried about Alice? Alice, the loveliest, most generous person I know? Ridiculous! I’m offended on my best friend’s behalf and am about to put them straight when Alice stops suddenly, her eyes widening when she clocks the looks of distrust on our dinner companions’ faces. She hesitates for a moment, as though she’s contemplating turning around and retracing her steps out of the room, but then pushes forward swiftly, a smile forced into place.

‘There you are. I’ve been looking for you.’ She drops down into the seat next to me, her gaze fixed firmly on my face. ‘I’m sorry about before.’

‘It’s okay.’ My eyes flick towards the two women, who are looking on with deep suspicion, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. What is going on? ‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘I think they’re about to start serving.’ Alice is now looking down at the tablecloth, her fingers playing with the napkin, unfolding its elaborate design and smoothing it down into a boring old square.

‘Do you know what?’ the woman announces loudly. ‘I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.’ She scrapes back her chair and stands, looking down at Alice, who is refolding the napkin, though not in its original shape. ‘I can’t imagine why.’

She strides away, followed quickly by her neighbour, leaving the table in awkward silence. Even a couple of nearby tables have quietened so they can observe the drama. The bloke sitting next to me starts to whistle with fake nonchalance while Mr Cravat is taking a great interest in his fingernails.

I lean in close to Alice and whisper, ‘What was that all about?’

She sneaks a peek up from her napkin-pleating and I’m stunned when I notice the tears pooling in her eyes.

‘It’s nothing.’ She attempts a smile. And fails. ‘I’ll explain it all later.’ She gives another valiant attempt at a smile and almost succeeds this time. ‘So, our mission…’ I give her a blank look. ‘To find your Prince Charming.’

‘Oh. That.’ I should have known there was little that could distract Alice from the task at hand. ‘What about it?’

‘Is there anybody you’ve seen so far who’s piqued your interest, even mildly?’ She looks around the table, frowns, and looks further afield, craning her neck to see who’s on offer.

‘I quite like the look of the suit of armour in the entrance hall. I bet Old Rusty would show me a good time.’ I’m joking, trying to cheer her up after the awkward moment, but Alice isn’t amused by my fooling around. Her lips are pressed very tightly together as she turns to face me again.

‘His name is Wallace.’

‘You named the suit of armour?’

‘Yes.’ Alice gives me a look that suggests I’m the crazy one. But then her face brightens and she gasps. ‘I’ve got it! I know who’ll be perfect for you. He’s so charming. And handsome. And kind.’

‘But how will we break it to Old Rusty? I’ve promised him dinner and a movie.’

Alice ignores me and continues to list the qualities of the so-far-unnamed gentleman. Honestly, the way she’s going on, he’s well on his way to sainthood. He sounds too perfect.

‘So, what’s his flaw?’

A flurry of waiting staff have started to serve dinner, placing bowls of soup in front of the guests, so Alice has a moment to consider the question. Everybody has a flaw – minor or major – and I’m keen to get it out there, so I have all the information available to me instead of the cherry-picked stuff. How else am I supposed to make an informed decision?

‘He doesn’t have any,’ she says as the waiting staff move away. She picks up her spoon and starts to dig merrily into her soup.

‘None?’

Alice starts to shake her head, but stops herself and scrunches up her nose. ‘Well…’ The way she drags the word out, I’m expecting something big. He’s perfect apart from his massive foot fetish. Or he’s charming apart from his severe racism. And that criminal record for armed robbery? Nothing to concern yourself with.

‘He’s Francelia’s nephew.’ Alice rests a hand on my arm and gives it a gentle squeeze. ‘But don’t hold it against him. He really is lovely.’

‘If he’s so lovely,’ I say as Alice resumes her soup-scooping, ‘why don’t you go out with him?’

‘For two reasons.’ Alice holds up a finger. ‘One: I’m madly in love with Kevin. And two…’ She holds up a second finger. ‘He’s my step-cousin. It’s icky.’

Which is fair enough, but it doesn’t help me wriggle out of being introduced to him.

The Wedding that Changed Everything: a gorgeously uplifting romantic comedy

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