Читать книгу Death Goes Shopping - Jessica Burton - Страница 6

When the shoe hit my desk, I was head down and counting elves, so I just reached out and tried to sweep it off.

As promotion director for a large shopping centre, odd items turn up in my office all the time, so unless they're immediately needed, I don't pay much attention. Right now I needed an elf, not a big black shoe.

The shoe didn't budge.

It didn't budge because it landed complete with a foot.

I looked up and saw the foot was at the end of a leg which its owner had lifted onto my desk. He was a huge man whose dark gray suit, white shirt and Paisley tie were topped with two chins and a scowling face. Hands splayed on the wall behind him, he was trying to balance on his one operating leg. Dark eyes, narrowed behind a pair of gold-rimmed bifocals, looked me over carefully and locked on my face.

“Is there something I can do for you?” I hit the phone intercom button that was linked to mall Security. “The administration office isn't really open on Saturdays, you know.”

No answer.

I repeated my question and hit the intercom again. I could see this guy was really agitated, and I was alone. In a shopping centre this big, you get all kinds, and it pays to be cautious.

Rosewood Centre is a two-level building shaped like a straightened Z. The main entrance doors, in the middle of the mall, face east. The top and bottom of the zee are major department stores, both with two floors and, of course, their own outside doors as well as entrances onto the mall area. They're connected by a main concourse lined on both sides with ancillary stores, banks and service outlets. Our mall management offices are at the end of a back hallway on the shopping centre's upper level. They're deliberately hard to find in order to discourage drop-in visits from both tenants and customers. Seems the plan wasn't working today.

“I've been looking for you,” he said.

He wobbled about a bit, gave up and half-fell, half-sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. His foot stayed where it was.

If I hadn't been so distracted because of the screw-up in my pumpkin delivery, I'd have remembered to lock the outer door. The administration suite has four interior offices and a small kitchen linked by a short hall leading from the fair-sized reception area. My office is on the left as you come in the outer door and turn down the hall. But I hadn't locked the door, and now here I was, facing God knows what, with his shoe on my desk.

“You are the Customer Complaints woman, I take it?” His voice was tight and precise, like his face. “I was told downstairs you'd be up here.”

“I'm Jenny Turnbull, the Promotion Director. But I also handle any concerns that customers may have about Rosewood City Centre,” I said. “If I can ask again, who are you, and why is your foot on my desk?”

“God give me strength.” He looked at the ceiling. “Another bloody Scot.”

I felt around under the kneehole opening in the desk with my foot, trying to find my knitting bag and nudge it to where I could grab a knitting needle in a hurry.

“I'm a customer, that's who. I'm the man who pays your wages, that's who. And I'm the reason you've got a job, that's who.”

He tried emphasizing his words by stabbing a finger on the desk but kept missing, because his outstretched leg and a fair-sized paunch kept him from leaning forward. He used the arm of the chair instead. His face was red with effort, but he was determined. That shoe wasn't coming off the desk until he'd had his say.

“I'm Dick…”

Well, that fits, I thought. But if he says Tracy, I'm going for the needle.

“…Simmons, and you just bet, Miss, that I have a concern.” His voice lost some of its control. It's pretty hard to be precise with one leg stuck up higher than your belly. “As a matter of fact, it's more than a concern, it's a goddam complaint. And a goddam justified complaint at that.”

I raised my eyebrows. He inched his backside forward. The shoe slid closer. The only thing missing was a drum roll.

“Look at that shoe. Just look at it. Now, I ask you.”

I looked. Black and highly polished with the number twelve stamped on the sole, it looked about right to me.

“Just what are you asking me, Dick? What am I looking for?”

“Well, any fool could see that,” he said. “Look at the repair. Or what's supposed to be a bloody repair. Two hundred dollar Italian shoes ruined. Ruined.” He shook his head. “My wife took them in for new soles, and that asshole countryman of yours in that fancy-dancy shoe repair downstairs ruined them. Stupid sonofabitch.”

His precision was totally gone now. He sucked in a huge mouthful of air and slid forward a bit more. His tie slid off to one side, showing a few black hairs in the gap where the fronts of his shirt pulled between the buttons.

“And what's more, when I took the fucking shoes back, the bastard threw me out. Said there was nothing wrong with them. Now, you own this poor excuse of a mall, and I'm asking you, what're you going to do about it?”

Stab, stab went the finger. My father used to do that when I was a kid. I hated it then, and I still hate it. I have a finger too. One that I desperately wanted to show this guy. Whoever said “the clothes bespeak the man” had certainly never met Mr. Simmons. Maybe Mrs. Simmons dressed him.

However, public relations and maintaining a good mall image being important parts of my job, I had to at least be pleasant to this particular Dick, who'd just promoted me. I'd gone straight from working for him to shopping centre owner.

“Besides, he's got no right to throw me out. This is public property. I know my rights. He can't…”

I held up both hands to stop the flow. It worked, but who knew for how long? I'd better make this good, and I'd better make it fast.

“First of all, Mr. Simmons, let me say that I regret that you're upset. I regret it more than you know.

“We want our customers to enjoy their shopping at Rosewood City Centre. And, although we're the only major shopping mall in this area, we never take things for granted. Our policy is to ensure a pleasant, climate-controlled environment to serve the public, and we take whatever measures necessary to implement that policy. Let me tell you just a few of them.”

I was on a roll now. Time to trot out the three Bs. Bullshit Baffles Brains.

“We have a $1.2 million annual budget devoted solely to advertising and promoting the centre, its 214 retail merchants, restaurants and service businesses. That's a dollar per square foot, Mr. Simmons. A healthy sum. There is an administrative staff of five people, including myself; two on-site stationary engineers; a daily maintenance staff plus a night cleaning crew. In addition, the shopping centre has a full complement of security officers headed by an ex-policewoman.”

He opened his mouth to start again, but I kept going.

“We also have an Information Booth on the lower level, staffed by three fully-trained people to help you find your way around the building and answer any inquiries you may have. I'm sure you went to there to find out where I could be located.”

And just wait till I get down there, I added to myself.

“All of this, Mr. Simmons, to make sure you are a satisfied customer. Apparently, today at least, you're not.”

“Damned right, I'm not. And, anyway, I don't give a monkey's fart about any of that.” He was shouting now, and his stabbing finger changed to a pointer aimed directly at my face.

My foot was moving faster and faster. Where the hell was that knitting bag? And why wasn't Security answering?

“And I don't want any of this business of you goddam Scots sticking together. Just get my shoes fixed properly or get my money back.”

He stopped for a breath. My turn.

“Here's what I propose to do to correct the situation, Mr. Simmons. While being fair to both sides, of course.”

I put my hands down and picked up a pencil and scratchpad.

“There's only one way to correct it,” he mimicked my accent. “Get my fucking shoes fixed and fixed now, or I'll fix your whole rotten shopping centre.

“In fact, maybe I'll do that, anyway. And let me tell you, Ms. Jenny Bloody Turnbull, Promotion Director, you won't like it. You won't like it one fuckin' bit, and neither will your friend downstairs or your 214 retail merchants, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.”

I dropped the pencil and paper, stood up and leaned towards him, both hands on the desk. I'd had it. First the pumpkins, then the missing elf and now this bottom feeder, and it wasn't even noon yet. This guy needed an attitude adjustment—big time.

“Mr. Simmons,” I said. “First, stop swearing. Second, remove your foot. If you don't do these two things, this conversation is over. You'll be escorted from the mall, and I'll issue a ban in your name. One copy will be delivered to the local precinct, which they will lodge in their files, and one copy will be sent to you. Registered mail, of course. What that means, Mr. Simmons, is that you will not be allowed back on this property, which by the way is private, not public, for a period of time which I can and will stipulate. In addition, where do you think your complaint will be filed?”

He took his foot off the desk and straightened in the chair, but I could see we weren't finished. He was furious. His lips had disappeared, and his cheeks were scarlet. But at least my desk was clear and his finger was still. Two points for me and none for him.

I remained standing. I liked looking down at him. “Even if I wanted to, I can't do anything about your complaint right now. Today is Halloween, and the mall is filled with kids and parents, all taking part in our pumpkin-carving, colouring and costume contests. I am not only overseeing the promotion, but have to judge the contests shortly, along with the Mayor and other local dignitaries and press people who were kind enough to give up their Saturday afternoon. I have no intention of cancelling any of that over a pair of shoes.

“Drop them off at the Information Booth on Monday. I'll have several of the shoe store owners examine them, give me their assessment of the repair, and we'll go from there. That's the best I can do and now, I'd like you to leave.”

He stood up. “Even if I agree to that—and I haven't yet, mind you—what about that Scotty bastard throwing me out which, by the way, I notice you ignored. What're you going to do about that?”

“Nothing, Mr. Simmons. He's the tenant. He pays the rent and has the right to control the access to that store. What happened is unfortunate, of course, but I really can't do anything about it.”

One point for Gord at Star Shoe Repair. And still none for Dick.

I moved around the desk and gestured to the door. He fired one last shot. “Well, I can fucking well do something about it. He won't do that to me in a hurry and get away with it.”

He shoved the chair against the wall with a bang and stamped off up the hall. Oh well, as my mother always said, stubborn is as stubborn does. He'd probably calm down over the weekend.

The word “asshole” came back as the outer door closed with a bang. I didn't know whether he meant me or Gord, but who cared? He was gone. I gave it a few seconds then moved quickly up the hall to lock the door.

The reception area houses Shirley, our secretary, all her paraphernalia, and a couch flagged by the standard end tables, lamps and coffee table. A few pieces of no-name art dot the walls.

Turning around, I looked at the couch. Five minutes couldn't hurt. I sank into it with a sigh of relief, kicked off my shoes and put my feet up on the coffee table, trying to organize my thoughts.

Halloween was well under way, even if it'd had a rocky start. Another six hours or so and we could start the clean up, then file the whole event under “D” for “Done”. Christmas was next, and it was well in hand, as were the Boxing Day Bonanza and the usual January Sidewalk Sale.

We never did much from my office for Valentine's, so I had a month or so to prepare for our Annual General Meeting in February. The tenants all pay so much per square foot for advertising and promos according to their lease, and the mall owners kick in a dollar amount as well. The tally becomes my promotion budget, and it looked like I was going to have to go for an increase next year. That meant planning a promotion schedule and working out the budget to include increased costs and to justify asking for more money. I'd already made a start on it, so things were in pretty good shape.

The phone on Shirley's desk rang.

“Jenny, it's Mary, down at the Info booth. You're needed at the pumpkin carving area. There's three eight-foot white rabbits dancing to rap music. And they've got all the kids doing it, too. The stores are complaining.”

I knew exactly what was going on. “Mary, just get one of the Security guys to walk over there and have a word with the DJ. Tell him to cool it, turn down the music and tell kids' stories or something. That'll stop the rabbits. I don't mind the dancing, but those kids are working with knives down there. I wouldn't want any of them getting carried away to the beat.”

Halloween. I hate it. It falls right behind Christmas and just before my hair on a list of things to hate that's stuck to the wall beside my desk. An ex-boyfriend, staring at my head, once told me that red hair was caused by a recessive gene. He probably made it up because we were in a shouting match at the time, but though he's long gone, the remark still rankles.

Most of the time, I love my job. It's usually exciting and very often frustrating, but it's never boring, and that's enough to keep me at it.

October 31st, though, always falls into the latter category. Trying to organize a couple of hundred midget witches, ghosts and goblins, some with crayons for colouring, some with knives for carving and some just with knives, is an exercise in frustration. Most of the little kids arrive with parents. They're not the problem. Actually, I enjoy watching them get a kick out of the different activities. It's the older ones who want a chance to hack at anything with their blades, including each other, that I can do without.

Our mall Security crew hates Halloween, the maintenance staff won't talk to me for at least two days before it because they know what the clean-up's going to be like and the rest of the management team makes sure they're never on duty that day.

So why do we do it? The community expects it as a special children's event, and God forbid we should alienate the customers' kids. The local rag even gives us free coverage, and that's next to impossible to get, so here we are. This was my third Halloween promotion, and I wasn't having a good time so far.

I'd arrived at the mall about seven that morning, because shopping centre promotions are governed by Murphy's Law, and I like to buy a little extra time.

The four high school kids I'd hired that week to help out were waiting at the front entrance. So was a mile-high pile of pumpkins.

“What the hell are these doing here? They're supposed to be inside. I had a maintenance guy scheduled to open the promotion doors round the back at six this morning so the truck could drive right in and park next to the stage.”

The tallest kid, Joshua, shrugged his shoulders and spread his hands. The other three formed a line behind him, rally caps on tight. Backup, I guess. This sure wasn't going to be their fault.

“We just got here, and they were here already. Guess the driver went to the wrong door. He was just leaving 'cause he tried ringing the night bell but nobody showed and he knew you needed them for today and, anyway…he wasn't taking them back so he unloaded the truck and said that would cost you extra on the bill…'cause of he wasn't supposed to unload the truck…'cause of he's got a bad back and you gotta hope it doesn't get worse 'cause of this…and Joe here tried to get security to let us in, but they wouldn't…'cause of they don't know us so we couldn't do anything anyway…so we just waited for you.”

Having got rid of all that, he stepped back with the others and the four of them looked at me, arms folded across their chests. They suspected what was coming, and I didn't disappoint them. “You guys'll have to take them in.”

I got out my keys, opened the small door to the left of the main entrance and shooed them inside.

“Joe, go to the promo storage area. The one at the back of the Food Court behind Tijuana Taco, not the upstairs one where you got the stage and stuff yesterday. Look for the door that says Promotion Department.” I handed him the key. “You'll find a flat dolly and a couple of shopping carts. Take Vijay and Roger with you and don't dawdle. It's half past seven already.”

Joe and his buddies veered off to the left, moving fast. It was like watching one body with six legs. No need to tell teenagers where a shopping centre Food Court is.

Joshua and I went to the stage outside one of the mall's two department stores. The day before, the boys had set it up beside eight six-foot tables placed in a hollow square. The tables, where the kids would do the carving, were covered with newsprint cut from end rolls, courtesy of our local paper. The stage held four rows of chairs for parents and later, the judges, and a sound system was in place for the emcee—a local DJ-come-entertainer, who was being paid handsomely to keep the kids happy and, please God, reasonably under control.

“First off, Josh, we can't block the entrance to the department store. Those pumpkins are going to take up more room loose than they would've on the truck.”

He loped back and forth in his Nikes, striding around the stage and tables. “Why don't we pile them up in the middle of the square and they can help themselves?” he asked. “We got all that empty space.”

“Because some kid'll pull one from the bottom and start an avalanche. No, I think a better idea is to put as many on the ground here as you can.” I paced off a floor space about fifteen feet square. “No more than two, maybe three deep. Leave the others in the back hallway over there through the maintenance doors. You're scheduled to be here anyway, giving them out, so Roger and Vijay can stay with you and go back and forth for more as you need them.”

“What about the costume parade and the colouring contest? Aren't a couple of us supposed to help with them?”

“I'll manage those,” I said. “There's never much to do once they're started, and they're pretty easy. Practically run themselves. Joe can help me see to the parade. It's only going from one end of the mall to the other, and it doesn't start till this afternoon.

“While you guys handle the pumpkins, he can pass out crayons and paper for the colouring contest in the Food Court. We lined up some of the tables last night for the kids to use. And, unless their parents dump the little angels for free babysitting, they can keep an eye on their own kids. We just have to make sure the colouring is finished in time for Maintenance to clear up for the lunch crowd.”

I mentally dusted off my hands. Now for the sneaky part. “I want all four of you up in my office the minute you finish here. Your costumes were delivered yesterday.”

“Costumes?” His voice went up four octaves. “What costumes?”

“Oh, did I forget to tell you? My helpers always wear costumes for promotions. Makes them easier to spot if they're needed, and the little kids like ‘em too. I'm sure I mentioned it when we talked about this job probably being a long-term thing for you guys. Don't forget, upstairs, the minute you're finished.”

God, that was below the belt, but hey, I'm for whatever works. “While I'm at it, I'll write out ID cards for the four of you so Security'll know you next time.”

An hour later, four large, white rabbits were at their stations, ready for the onslaught.

Now, listening to Mary on the phone, I realized my mistake was telling Joshua to take charge of getting the DJ set up. I'd even told him to help pick the music.

“Mary, I'm going down to check out how the colouring contest is going. If anyone needs me, I'll be the one in the Food Court with no crayon.”

“One more thing, Jenny, before you hang up,” Mary said. “Susan took a call for you earlier. A Mr. Doug White. Said he was supposed to be Santa but has to cancel. Said sorry, but he just can't do it. Something about being too nervous, and he doesn't want you to call him back.”

“What?” I held the phone away from my ear and shook it, hoping her words would fall out and evaporate. “What did you say?”

“Susan took a call…”

“Mary, I heard you the first time. I was just wishing I hadn't. I didn't mean to yell at you. Don't worry about it. It's just one more thing for the list.”

I sat back down on the couch, staring blankly at the carpet. Dick Simmons and the rappin' rabbits were nothing compared to this. This was Murphy's Law at its finest.

Other than “collect the rent”, there are very few credos in the shopping centre industry, but there is one for promotion directors that means your job if you ignore it: “If you can't do Christmas right, don't do it at all.”

That's it. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter what else you do all year, if you muff the Christmas promo, you're gone.

The mall's annual Santa Claus Parade was scheduled, as usual, for the second weekend in November. With the exception of miscounting the elves, I had everything in place. The majorettes, the Police Pipe Band, all booked, extra security was lined up for crowd control, the radio and print advertising was booked, a new jingle written and the signage was just about finished. The Christmas decorations had been cleaned and touched up, all the light bulbs checked and Santa's sleigh had been repainted, as it was every year.

I had cartons of candy canes in the storage rooms ready for his sack, and the whole “Have Your Picture Taken With Santa” setup was ready to go. Last year we'd taken seventeen thousand pictures over six weeks. It was a huge headache to set up and control, what with staffing, inventory and the bookkeeping that came with it, so this year I'd contracted it out. The company I'd hired provided camera, staff, film, everything. All I had to do was put Santa in the chair and take my share of the money. A snap.

Sixty-five per cent of our whole year's retail business is done during the Christmas season, and the restaurants and other outlets also depend on the increase in customers during those six weeks.

Christmas is the one time of year when people happily give up regular shopping habits and drive longer distances to get what they want. And very often, the biggest magnet is what kind of Santa setup is in the mall. Ours is the most popular for miles around, and we're at the intersection of two major highways, so we're easy to get to. Our shopper count at Christmas is in the neighbourhood of three hundred thousand people a week, all with money and all prepared to spend it.

But right now, Saturday, October 31, two weeks and counting, a disaster was in the making. I'd lost Santa.

Two weeks before the parade, and the old geezer had up and quit before he'd even started. Shame he hadn't thought about nervousness in August when I'd hired him. I'd been so pleased to get him, too. He certainly had the build for it. An egg with legs. He wouldn't even have needed the belly padding.

Next Thursday was our monthly board meeting of the Merchants Association, and my presentation of the centre's Christmas arrangements would be first on the agenda. I had five days to find a replacement Santa. There was nothing, absolutely nothing on God's green earth, that would make me enter that meeting without one.

Now, Jenny, I thought. Calm down. You can do this. Put Halloween to rest first. Panic about Santa on Monday.

I checked the wall clock. Almost quarter to twelve. The Mayor and his entourage weren't due until later in the afternoon, and the trick or treaters were probably tied up with fries and a pop. There was time to sneak a quick burger.

I'd double-promised Helen I'd start eating healthy food today, but that was before Dick Simmons, Halloween and Santa. She'd understand, I reasoned.

Helen Lemieux has been the mall Security Chief for four years, ever since the centre opened, and we share an old house together. Both in our early thirties, we'd become instant friends when I'd joined the management team a couple of years ago. Two days into the job, we'd gone for lunch together, and two minutes into the meal, I was telling her my life story—particularly as it related to the guy I was involved with at the time. A guy who'd just told me, the night before, he thought we should move in together, but I should understand he believed in “open” relationships.

“And you said?” she asked.

“I told him exactly what he could do with his belief.”

Sometimes you meet people, and they just fit right into your life. That was us. It was almost as if there was a karma of sorts working in our favour. I suspect something in my Scottish ancestry reacts to her Cree heritage. Maybe we're psychic sisters, I don't know, but we do have the ability to sometimes finish each other's sentences, and one of us will very often know exactly what the other is thinking. It doesn't bother us, we enjoy it, but a lot of the time it spooks other people.

Helen's into healthy eating and alternative medicine. She exercises relentlessly and spends a lot of time researching nutrition and collecting heart-smart cookbooks.

I'm into eating—period, any medicine that works and my favorite exercises are reading and knitting. The only thing I've managed to collect is a '56 Chevy. She's working on changing all that and, with the exception of the car, I've promised to try.

I got up to go just as the two-way radio on Shirley's credenza crackled, and Helen's voice came on calling my name.

God, I thought. Caught already.

“Jenny, pick up the radio.” Her voice was urgent. “Jenny, pick it up. Emergency.”

“It was only gonna be a burger, Helen,” I said. “No fries. Honest.”

“Never mind that,” she said. “You'll eat later. Get down here fast, Jenny. I'm in the Food Court. There's been a shooting.”