Читать книгу The Billionaire's Blind Date - Jessica Hart - Страница 6

AN ONCOMING car flashed its lights, and P.J. pulled out, easing the car in the long line of traffic and lifting a hand in acknowledgement. ‘Yes, I do.’ He glanced at Nell. ‘Don’t you?’

‘I’m sure you’re right about us,’ she said quickly, in case he thought she had more regrets about their broken engagement than he did.

‘But?’ he prompted.

Nell sighed. ‘But when your marriage ends in a mess, it’s hard sometimes to think that it was all for the best.’

‘I can imagine,’ said P.J., contrite. He hesitated. ‘Does it still hurt?’

‘About Simon?’

He nodded, keeping his eyes firmly on the road ahead.

‘Not really. Not now. At the time it was horrible,’ she told him, surprised at how easily she had slipped back into the way of talking to P.J. about the things she would normally keep to herself. ‘But by the end it was just such a relief not to have to pretend and argue anymore.

‘I didn’t want Clara to grow up with us shouting at each other,’ she said, remembering how Simon had lied and blustered and finally left. ‘It wasn’t how I imagined having a family,’ she went on a little sadly. ‘I’d dreamt about giving my children a loving home with two parents but … well, it didn’t work out like that, and I think it’s better this way. At least Clara has a “normal” life when she’s with Simon and Elaine.’

‘How often does she see her father?’ asked P.J. after a while.

‘Not as often as she needs.’ Nell watched a young man walking along the pavement, a small boy perched, delighted, on his shoulders. The sight of a father being tender and loving with his children always gave her a pang, thinking about how uninterested Simon had been with Clara.

‘Simon’s not a cruel father. He pays his maintenance for Clara on time, and he does his duty by her … but that’s just what it feels like, a duty. It’s as if she’s a tiresome obligation now that he’s got a new family. And I don’t think Elaine feels comfortable with Clara. She’s always changing the arrangements when Clara is due to go over there, and they never include her in their family holidays.’

‘That’s hard,’ commented P.J.

‘I don’t mind not being part of Simon’s life anymore,’ Nell tried to explain, ‘but I do mind for Clara. She’s always been an incredibly sensible child and she never complains, but she’s only ten.’

‘I can’t imagine having a daughter like Clara and not wanting to spend as much time with her as possible,’ said P.J., stopping at a pedestrian crossing.

‘I know. That’s why I—’ Nell caught herself up just in time. She had been about to tell P.J. about her efforts to find a man who would be a better male influence in Clara’s life, but that would be taking confidences a bit too far. P.J. had only been back in her life for a matter of minutes, and a girl had her pride, after all.

‘Why you what?’

‘Oh, nothing.’

P.J. sent her an uncomfortably searching glance. ‘You’ve never thought about marrying again?’

Nell had never liked his habit of being able to follow her train of thought even when she was trying to be her most inscrutable.

Nell thought about asking him if he had any idea how difficult it was to find someone new when you were in your thirties, and had a child, and couldn’t afford to go out, and in any case were too dog-tired after working all day and then looking after your daughter to dream about anything more exciting than a hot bath and an early night. And that was before you started looking at the single men who were available!

‘No,’ was all she said in the end, though.

It was definitely time to change the subject. ‘What nice children Jake and Emily and Flora are,’ she said, and meaning it. ‘You must be very proud of them.’

‘I am,’ said P.J. ‘Although I must admit that I haven’t really had that much to do with them over the last few years.’

Nell couldn’t help staring at him. How could he sound so casual about not spending enough time with his own children? She would have expected that P.J., once he became a father, would take his role very seriously.

‘Their mother deserves all the credit for bringing them up, I think,’ he was saying. ‘She doesn’t get as much support as she should.’

Nell’s brows drew together. ‘In that case, perhaps you could do a bit more to help her?’ she suggested coolly.

‘I’d like to,’ said P.J., ‘but it’s difficult … and I have got a business to run.’

That had always been Simon’s excuse too, she thought bitterly. ‘I haven’t got time,’ he had used to say. ‘I can’t afford to take time off. I can’t support you and Clara unless I work, can I?’ His job, it seemed, was always more important than giving his daughter some attention.

‘Oh, well, if your business needs you …’ she said, not bothering to disguise her sarcasm, and P.J. looked at her with a puzzled frown.

‘It probably doesn’t need me as much as I’d like,’ he admitted.

‘Does it need you more than your children?’