Читать книгу Reunited With The Bull Rider - Jill Kemerer - Страница 14

Chapter Two

Nash clipped the walkie-talkie to his belt and strode to the barn the next afternoon. Breathing in the cool air, he let the sun’s rays soothe his agitation. Ruby had fallen asleep watching cartoons. Normally, the girl didn’t nap—she fought sleep something fierce—so the fact she’d conked out was a blessing. He’d only been her guardian for a week, and already the role felt impossible.

He wasn’t a dad. He was a broken-down, retired bull rider. Sure, he’d risen to the top of his profession and made gobs of money, but he didn’t know how to do domestic. At thirty-one years old, he had a lot of life left to figure out, like how he was going to spend his days from now on. Inspecting his property would be a start.

Snow must have thawed recently for the ground to still be soft. This part of Wyoming tended to be dry. He checked the walkie-talkie again. If Ruby woke up and he wasn’t there... Her terrified face from two nights ago still bothered him. He’d put her to bed, read her a story and gotten ready to leave. She’d clung to his arm, shaking her head, her eyes wild. He’d asked her what was wrong, but she just kept repeating, “Don’t go.” So he’d stayed until she fell asleep. An hour later, she’d woken up, screaming. Scared him half to death. He’d cradled her in his arms, wishing he could have been there for her from birth to protect her. It had taken another hour before she’d stopped shaking.

Sometimes he wished his mother was alive just so he could chew her out. But she wasn’t, and he was left to fix her mistakes. Not that Ruby was a mistake...but her upbringing had been disastrous.

Could he fix Ruby?

Yesterday he’d bought the walkie-talkies and showed Ruby how to use them. He’d said, “If I’m not in the room with you, all you have to do is press this button and holler for me. Then take your finger off, and you’ll be able to hear me talk.” They’d practiced until she was an old pro.

He chuckled. He’d probably be at her beck and call from now on. Not that he minded. The girl was as cute as could be. His mission was to help her find her smile. He wanted to keep it there. Make her forget a lifetime of trauma and neglect.

He slid open the barn door and counted the stalls as he walked through. Enough for ten horses. He already owned six. His friend Wade had been boarding them for him while he was on the road competing. The other outbuildings held his equipment. The property had one fenced-in pasture and plenty of land for any number of operations.

Lately, he’d been thinking about opening a training facility for young bull riders. But he wasn’t sure if he should. Just because he had the property to train kids didn’t mean he had the ability to teach. Maybe he’d be better off breeding horses. He certainly wasn’t running a cow-calf operation like their friend Clint. Which reminded him...he hadn’t talked to Marshall in a while. He’d better call him soon.

After shutting the barn door, Nash went back into the house. A pang of regret hit him every time he entered. Before moving back, the last time he’d been inside had been the day he’d bought it as a surprise for Amy. An engagement present. He’d been planning on proposing to her the next week. Then his mother, once again, had destroyed his life.

The diamond ring still sat in its box in his top drawer. He really should sell it.

Like he ever would.

He checked on Ruby, asleep and curled up in a tight ball like a dog afraid of getting kicked. He kissed her soft cheek before going to the kitchen. The company he’d hired to paint and decorate the house had done a good job. He’d given them free rein and a blank check. Just told them to make it feel like a family lived there and to make sure Ruby’s room was fit for a princess. If only money could fix all of his problems, but the millions in the bank couldn’t win Ruby’s trust or buy Amy’s forgiveness.

Amy was going to say no to helping Ruby. And while her refusal would be best for him, it definitely was not best for Ruby.

The girl hid apples and packages of crackers under her pillow and in her closet. He’d found cookies in her shoe. The therapist had warned him it might take a while for her to believe she’d always have enough to eat. Whenever he found food, he was supposed to gently remind her she was safe with him and he would always provide for her.

He sat on one of the bar stools at the island, dropping his forehead into his hands. The enormity of the situation threatened to overcome him.

I’m not qualified for this. What if she always hoards food and wakes up screaming? What if she never smiles? Is too scared to go to school? What if she’s been damaged beyond repair?

He raised his head toward the ceiling.

God, I need You.

Ruby had no one but him.

He’d handle it. He had to.

* * *

Amy girded her shoulders and entered the church at 6:55 pm. She’d spent the past twenty-four hours talking to her mom, her best friend, Lexi Romine, and the Lord. Lexi and Mom thought she should decline being Ruby’s mentor. The Lord, it seemed, had other plans.

Every time she prayed, she kept coming back to Isaiah 6:8: “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.” She’d prayed for so long to help a child. How many times had she thought Here am I, Lord. Send me?

And now that the opportunity was here, she couldn’t justify turning it down. Every time she tried, her argument fell flat. She kept thinking of the Old Testament story about Joseph. If Joseph could forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery and then provide for them so their families didn’t starve, couldn’t she move past her issues with Nash to help Ruby?

Maybe this was her cross to bear.

But could she bear it?

With her back straight and head high, she strode to the preschool room. This wasn’t for Nash. It was for Ruby.

Maybe Nash didn’t keep his promises, but she kept hers. She’d promised the Lord she would do His will.

She believed this was His will.

After entering the room, she halted at the sight of Ruby on Nash’s lap. The child held a stuffed sheep in the air and was pretending to make it dance. She wasn’t smiling, but the fact she was playing was a good sign.

“Hello, Ruby.” She waved. “Who is this sheep? He’s quite the dancer.”

She immediately clutched the animal to her tummy like a wild rabbit stilling at the first hint of danger.

Nash took the sheep out of Ruby’s hand. “I think this is Sheldon. Sheldon the sheep. Is that right, RuRu?”

She turned to see his face. A hint of a smile lifted her lips, and she nodded.

“Or it could be Samantha.” Amy slowly approached them, trying to be as non-threatening as possible. “Are you sure it’s a boy?”

He flipped the sheep over twice then sniffed its head. “It smells like a boy. It’s not all flowery like a girl.” He held it up for Ruby to smell. She took a sniff. “What do you think?”

“Boy,” she said.

“Well, it is very nice to meet you, Sheldon.” Amy held her hand out and pretended to shake the animal’s paw. “Would he like to sit on your lap while we read a book?”

Ruby didn’t respond.

“Should we try another Curious George? See what trouble that silly monkey gets into today?”

Amy selected a book and folded her long legs to sit in the beanbag, grunting as she sank the final inches. Ruby brought the stuffed animal over. She didn’t sit, though.

“Stay?” Ruby asked Nash, her gaze full of worry.

“I’d hate to miss the story.” He folded his legs to sit cross-legged on the carpet. The process looked painful. Ruby, clutching Sheldon, settled on his lap, and he tickled her side.

“Daddy!” She giggled and squirmed. Nash stopped teasing her, kissing the top of her head instead.

Daddy? Amy ignored the pitter-patter of her heart at the sight of Nash in such a paternal role. Maybe if she and Ruby met privately, the arrangement would work. They could make cookies and color. They could go to the library and check out books or stop into The Beanery for hot chocolates.

If she was going to be part of Ruby’s life, it had to be on her terms. And that meant spending time alone with Ruby. No Nash allowed.

After reading two books, she asked Ruby if she wanted to pretend to bake a cake. Ruby followed her to the play kitchen, and Nash declared he’d be back in a few minutes. He had to speak to the pastor. As soon as Nash left, Ruby became expressionless, the way she’d been in the hallway yesterday.

“First we need flour and sugar.” Amy pointed to the fake boxes of food. “Can you find them?”

She stood with her arms glued to her sides. Okay. Amy grabbed a box and pretended to pour it into a plastic bowl. “Mmm... I love cake batter. Here’s some butter. Throw it in.” She handed plastic butter to Ruby, who let it fall into the bowl.

“And eggs. My cakes always have eggs. Let’s crack them.” Amy tapped the plastic egg against the table and pretended to drop it in. Ruby ignored the egg in front of her. “We’re ready to mix.” She found the plastic hand-mixer and gave it to the girl. “Give it a good stir.”

She obeyed, but Amy got the impression she was merely going through the motions, that she wasn’t enjoying herself.

Hannah and Daniel entered. “Hello, you two. Ruby, would you mind staying here with Daniel and me while Amy talks to your dad for a minute?”

Ruby just stared at her.

“I won’t be long.” Amy found Sheldon and gave him to Ruby. “Here. Make sure this sheep doesn’t get into any trouble.” Although she hated leaving her, she went to the meeting room.

“Well, I trust you’ve both had time to pray about the situation.” Pastor Moore waited for her to sit. Nash was in the same spot as yesterday. “What do you think?”

She considered for a moment. The previous twenty minutes solidified her opinion. With patience and a woman’s touch, Ruby had a better chance at coming out of her shell. And Amy wanted to be that woman.

“I would like to spend more time with Ruby.” Amy watched Nash. He jerked to attention. “But I don’t know if you’ll be comfortable with my suggestion.”

His eyes darkened. “What is it?”

“Would you be okay with me spending time with Ruby alone? I’d love to show her around my studio, take her to the library, that sort of thing.”

He bowed his head. “I’m not sure.”

“I don’t know if I can agree if it’s going to be the three of us all the time. It’s a bit intimate given our history.”

He blew out a breath. “I understand. Really, I do. I’m thinking about Ruby. I know you’d be good for her, and frankly, I’d prefer she spend time alone with you. But she’s going through a lot. What do you think, Pastor?”

He’d prefer not to be around her, either? Why the words hurt, she didn’t know. It’s not as if the past ten years hadn’t proven the fact.

“I think you should follow your instincts, Nash.” The pastor addressed Amy. “Ruby is afraid of strangers. It will take time for her to get used to you. She might need Nash with her until she’s comfortable.”

Amy swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know the pastor had a point, but she was already going out on a limb by agreeing to this. Couldn’t they cut her a break?

“I guess we could do a trial run,” she said. “Say, a few afternoons next week and see how it goes? If we aren’t feeling it, we’ll go our separate ways.”

“Works for me,” Nash said gruffly.

Pastor Moore stood. “I’m here if either of you need to talk or have additional concerns. Feel free to call. Why don’t I let you two work out the details of next week?” He left the room, and the air felt charged as soon as he was gone.

With no idea what to say, she fixed her gaze on the map of ancient Israel hanging on the wall. Nash remained silent, as well.

“How weird is this for you?” Amy finally asked him.

“Really weird.” His throat worked.

“Gives me a new appreciation for what divorced parents must go through. Coming up with a visitation schedule, figuring out drop-offs and all that.”

“Except we were never divorced,” he said. “Or married.”

The words hurt, she couldn’t deny it, but Nash seemed unsure of himself, and Amy had never seen this side of him. He’d always been quick with a joke and oh, so confident.

He massaged the back of his neck. “Sorry... Thank you for agreeing to help Ruby. I know you don’t want details, but what I did back then was unforgivable. I at least want you to know I hated leaving you.”

Then why did you?

She didn’t want to know.

“It was a long time ago.” She waved the apology off like a pesky fly. “Which days work best for you?”

Storm clouds brewed in his eyes, but he accepted the change in subject. “Any you have free. I have nothing going on.”

“So you really retired?”

“I did.”

She wanted to ask what he planned to do next, but she stopped herself. She didn’t need personal information from him. She’d stick to business—to Ruby. Which reminded her...a few things had been niggling in her mind.

“Does Ruby know you aren’t her father?”

“Yes. I explained I’m her much bigger brother. It took several supervised visits at her foster home before she’d even speak to me.”

“But she calls you Daddy.”

He shrugged, a smile briefly lighting his face. “When I told her she was going to live with me, I asked her what she wanted to call me. She said, ‘How long am I going to live with you?’ I told her forever. She replied, ‘Daddy.’ I tell you, my heart melted into a puddle right there on the linoleum floor of the courthouse.”

Amy’s heart was growing squishy, too, and that wouldn’t do. Remember the days after he left? How you sat by the phone hoping he’d call? And don’t forget how awful it was to read about him winning the event in Houston. Going on with his life as if you’d never meant a thing to him.

“Yes, well, that’s good.” She reached into her purse for her planner. Opening it, she scanned the next week’s schedule. “Why don’t we do Tuesday and Thursday, say, three o’clock? You can bring her to my apartment. It’s above Amy’s Quilt Shop. Just go around the back and up the stairs. I have a studio I think she’ll enjoy.”

All the brightly colored fabrics, the work tables, sewing machines and art supplies were sure to please the girl. She’d plan a few simple crafts for them to do.

“You don’t have to work at three?” He frowned.

“No, I hired a high school girl to work afternoons.”

“Tuesday and Thursday then. Listen, Ruby is shy around...well, everyone. She might have a hard time being in a strange place without me.”

“You could go to The Beanery after you drop her off. If she gets upset, we’ll join you and get a hot cocoa or something.”

“That might work.” His face cleared, and his shoulders relaxed. “Does this mean you’ll make a final decision next week?”

“Do you really want me to spend time with Ruby? Or do you feel cornered into it?”

“I want Ruby to trust other people. I mean, she’ll be going to school soon, and I don’t want her scared of her teachers. Would it be easier on me if someone else was her mentor? Yeah. But I’m grateful you’re willing to try. She needs more than I alone can give her.”

So having a different mentor would be easier on him, huh? She bit back a nasty retort. The insecurity in his eyes pacified her irritation. Her decision wasn’t about Nash anyway. It was about trusting God even when the circumstances didn’t make sense. She’d always wondered if she would step up and take care of an enemy if put into the position of being a Good Samaritan.

She’d regret it if she didn’t at least try to help Ruby.

“Then, yes, let’s see how the visits go, and I’ll give you a firm answer next week.”

* * *

“Wade’s delivering my horses soon.” Nash sat in a white rocking chair on his front porch Tuesday afternoon. Clint Romine, one of his best friends, sat next to him in an identical chair. Ruby was picking pasqueflowers from the yard. He still had a little time before he had to take her to Amy’s place. He had no idea how their meeting would go, but he feared the worst. Those early visits with her at the foster home had been terrible. But maybe Ruby was in a better mental place now. He hoped so.

“How long has it been since you’ve ridden Crank?”

“Four months. I’m itching to saddle up. Could ride for days, I think, and I’d still feel as restless as a mountain lion.”

“You’ve been traveling the circuit since we graduated high school. Of course you’re restless.” Clint lived outside of Sweet Dreams with his pretty new bride, Lexi, who happened to be Amy’s best friend. Another complication Nash didn’t know how to handle. Would his move back to Sweet Dreams be awkward for Clint and Lexi, given how he’d treated Amy years ago? He’d worry about it another day.

Nash sighed. “I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”

Clint stared ahead, slowly rocking. How could he sit there so calmly? Nash was about to bust out of his rocker. He didn’t care if the decorator claimed the chairs cozied up the porch; they made him feel like a grandpa. A sprint up the drive would go a long way to helping him let off some steam. But the sad truth was he couldn’t sprint if he tried. His body had been so beaten up and battered that he had trouble even jogging.

“Thinking about ranching?” Clint asked.

“No.”

“Breeding horses? Wade could help with that.”

“Maybe.” He stood and paced the porch, his movements choppy. “I’ve been thinking about something different. I’m not sure it would work.”

“What’s that?”

He stopped at the column nearest Clint and leaned against the railing. “I might open a training facility. For young bull riders.”

Clint considered it a moment. “I could see it.”

“But I don’t have the experience to teach kids.”

“What are you talking about?” Clint laughed. “You have more experience in your pinky finger than anyone I know.”

“Yeah, but that’s riding bulls. Not teaching kids to ride them.”

“You’d be great. What would you need?”

“Steers. Bulls. A practice arena. Chutes. Equipment. Insurance—a lot of insurance.”

“There you go.”

“But knowing what I’ve been through, do I want to encourage kids to follow in my footsteps? You know the injuries I’ve sustained. And I was fortunate.”

“It’s a dilemma, that’s for sure. I guess you’ll have to pray on it.”

Last year, Clint’s response about praying on it would have annoyed Nash. But after he’d had a string of bad rides and broken his ankle and ribs for the umpteenth time, he’d spent a few months at Wade’s secluded ranch—a thirty-minute drive from Sweet Dreams—and gotten right with his Maker. He prayed about everything now.

“Will you pray about it, too, brother?” Nash asked.

“Of course.” Clint rose, nodding toward Ruby. “How’s she doing?”

“Better than I expected. When I first met her, she was so skinny her bones pushed against her skin. She was terrified. Skittish.” He shivered thinking about her back then. “I’m really sorry I missed your wedding, man. I never would have—”

“Don’t say a word, Nash.” Clint shook his head. “I understand. I would have been furious if you’d have come to the wedding when you found out about Ruby. She needed you.”

Ruby approached, eyeing Clint with distrust and avoiding him. She thrust a bouquet of purple blooms in Nash’s hands.

“For me? Well, RuRu, these are the purdiest flowers I’ve ever seen. Thank you kindly.” He winked at her. “And don’t worry about Clint here. He’s one of my best buds. We lived together when we were teens. You’ll meet my other friends, Wade and Marshall, soon enough.”

Ruby hid behind his leg. He knew her well enough to assume her gaze was fixed on Clint.

“I’ve got to be going.” Clint tipped his Stetson to Ruby. “Good to meet you. Maybe your dad will bring you out to the ranch sometime. We have lots of horses and cows and dogs. You like dogs?”

No answer. Thankfully, Clint didn’t seem to need one.

“Thanks for coming.” Nash clapped him on the back. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Bye.” Clint waved and ambled to his truck.

“Well, what do you say we get these in some water before we head over to Miss Amy’s?” Her eyes had questions—a lot of questions—but he couldn’t read her mind. “What’s wrong? You’re worried about something. I can tell.”

He opened the door for her, and they went to the kitchen, putting the flowers in a mason jar with water.

“You a little scared of her?” He boosted her to sit on the counter.

“No.”

“What is it? You can tell me anything.”

“How long do I have to stay?”

He smiled at her lisp whenever she said her s’s.

“You don’t have to stay at all. But if you want to, you’ll be there for one hour. And I’ll be three stores down, slurping coffee. You and Amy can join me if you want, but I’d like for you to give her place a try without me first.”

She gulped, her eyes wide and fearful. “One hour? How much is that?”

He almost laughed. He’d forgotten that little kids didn’t have a strong sense of time. He pointed to his watch. “When this small hand goes all the way around once, an hour has passed. Maybe you need a watch of your own. We can order one for you. But right now, we’ve got to skedaddle if we want to be on time.”

He picked her up, grabbed his keys and carried her to the garage. After strapping her into her car seat, he backed out and drove toward town. Despite the assurances he’d given Ruby, he had a bad feeling about this visit. Ruby already seemed fearful. What if she made a scene at Amy’s? If she did, he wouldn’t be able to leave her there, and then Amy would back out.

If Ruby was upset about staying with Amy, he wouldn’t force the issue. The kid had been through enough. He just hoped his uneasiness didn’t mean his fears were about to come true.