Читать книгу Long-Lost Mom - Jill Shalvis - Страница 10
ОглавлениеChicken, Jenna told herself furiously, but she didn’t recant the lie. “And I didn’t mean to run off. I just...”
“It’s all right. I ran off on you first, at the beach,” Stone said, quietly apologetic, his voice velvety and calm. The arm he’d thrown around Sara squeezed as tension seemed to fill him. “And I’m—”
Before he could finish his apology, which was what she should be doing for the rest of her life, Jenna broke in. “No, no. Please.” She clenched her hands together to keep them from moving wildly about as they tended to do when she was nervous. And she was very nervous now. “I understand. I...I acted strangely.”
“Are you new to town?”
Jenna looked at Sara and managed a smile, though her throat tightened as she got her first close look at her child. God. Her child. She was so beautiful and the urge to touch her was so strong that Jenna had to close her hands into tight fists. Her short neatly manicured nails dug into her palms as she forced herself not to cry. “Yes.” Her voice caught on the sob she didn’t quite swallow, so she cleared her throat to hide it, avoiding Stone’s probing gaze. “I’m brand-new.”
And wasn’t that the complete truth? Certainly she’d been rebuilt since the car accident. For whatever reason, she’d been given another chance, and she didn’t want to mess it up this time. No longer did she want to spend the rest of her life job hopping for survival. Drifting from one group of so-called friends to another, living her life on the edge because that was the only way she knew how to live it.
She wanted to come back.
But if what she’d lived with all this time since the accident, knowing she’d pretty much mangled every inch of her face and a good part of her body, had terrified her, the prospect of telling Stone who she really was quite simply paralyzed her. No, petrified her.
Why had she lived?
She couldn’t help but wonder. She hadn’t deserved to—or had she? A part of her so desperately wanted someone to tell her how much she had deserved it.
But she had no one like that in her life, and that was her own fault.
“You’re beautiful,” Sara said.
Beautiful. In the accident, Jenna’s cheekbones had been shattered. So had her jaw and nose. They’d shaved her head completely, whisking away her icy blond waist-length locks without a thought.
It had grown back a bit now, but it was darker and much thicker, totally different than it had been before. Her eyes, normally blue, were covered with both dark sunglasses and even darker prescription contact lenses required for her own comfort—for most light still burned horribly—and also so she could see without wearing her glasses, which she hated.
She was totally and completely transformed. And as Sara pointed out, beautiful. “Thank you,” Jenna whispered, unable to stop looking at her child. It was hard to remain still, to not reach for her and pull her close.
“You moved here all alone?” Sara asked with the avid curiosity of the young.
The question threw Jenna off balance. Her mother had passed away some time ago, but she wasn’t truly alone, not with her sister, Kristen, still alive. Yet she couldn’t imagine her sister rejoicing at their reunion. “All alone,” she confirmed.
“This is my daughter, Sara.” Stone squeezed Sara’s shoulders, his big body shimmering with pride. “She’s very curious,” he added wryly. “And the new county basketball champ.”
“Daddy.” But Sara laughed.
Jenna swallowed hard, consumed by how he’d taken to fatherhood. She’d played an all-too-willing part in that area of his life, a part that to this day haunted her lonely nights with remembered visions of hot searing passion, warm safe arms that kept the outside world at bay and an unbreakable bond of affection. There would have been more, too, if only she’d let it.
She’d left him alone to deal with the consequences of their passion, but she knew, he had handled it as he handled everything—with an unwavering inner strength.
Which of course did nothing to assuage her horrible guilt and regret.
She could feel Stone’s interest like a physical thing, and it was no less for her. Standing this close to him, she had all she could do to remember to breathe. He was so familiar, yet a perfect stranger.
A magnificent perfect stranger she’d never been able to forget.
“Are you gonna eat pizza tonight?” Sara asked.
Jenna blinked at Sara. “Pizza?”
“Tonight’s pizza night at Joey’s. It’ll be packed with all the kids from the game,” Stone explained.
“Joey’s has great pizza.” Sara grinned in anticipation. “Lotsa cheese. I’m really starving, Daddy.”
Daddy. God, the way she said that, it made Jenna yearn. Made her ache. Made her want to cry, something she absolutely could not do with the protective contacts in, for it would burn like hell.
“We’re going, honey.” But Stone didn’t move for an interminably long moment.
Jenna didn’t, either. She held her breath, absorbing the intensity of his gaze. As the nearly visible electrical current ran between the two of them, she wondered how long this could continue.
“Daddy?”
“I know, Sara.” He smiled down at her, handed her the basketball and a backpack. “Here, take these. I’ll catch up in a sec.”
Happily Sara took his things, shot a shy smile at Jenna and walked away.
Stone waited, wanting to be certain Sara was out of earshot. “Look,” he said to the silent woman, feeling a little foolish. “This might seem odd, but...do I know you?”
Cindy paled. “What...what do you mean?”
He knew that following his gut instinct had been the right thing to do, given her reaction. But it explained nothing, certainly not the strange mixture of dismay and wonder just the sight of her evoked. “Have we met before?”
She raised a hand to her face, just as she had at the beach, as if she wanted to hide herself from him, which made no sense. But she seemed so distressed that Stone took pity on her and said quickly, as gently as he could, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you look...” What? She didn’t look familiar, not at all, and yet, he could swear that he knew her from somewhere.
But if he’d met this slender beauty before, certainly he would remember.
She made a soft sound, one that conveyed a wrenching sorrow. The urge to move forward, to take her arm and offer some sort of solace was strong.
But he’d sworn off damsels in distress a long time ago. The only women he let in his life now were strong-willed, self-possessed, sophisticated women who not only took care of themselves, but were not looking for any sort of permanence.
He might have laughed, for a woman in his life, any woman, was rare indeed. With his booming business and his vivacious daughter, Stone had little to no social time left over for himself. After so long he’d gotten used to it. Almost. But a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder... when would he meet someone who would reawaken his heart?
She smiled, although it was clearly forced. “Well...it was nice to see you again.”
So polite, he thought. So hurt. Dammit. “Wait,” he said just as she turned away, cursing himself even as he took a step toward her. “Are you coming for pizza night?”
Startled, she stared at him from behind those disconcertingly dark glasses. “I don’t think so.” A slim shoulder lifted. “I don’t know anyone.”
“You know us.” He had no idea why he was doing this, but something about her called to him on a deep primal level he was reluctant to explore. “Come on. It’d be a great way for you to acclimate yourself to small-town life.”
Suspicion filled her fine features. “How do you know I’m not used to it already?”
How to disburse that frightened-doe look? he wondered. “Your clothes for starters. We’re a one-school town here, and you’re dressed pretty fancy for a basketball game starring our local ten-year-olds.”
He laughed when she stared down at herself, taking in the expensive leather flats, the slim fitted trousers that outlined her showcase legs, her soft silky blouse, with the hint of lace and sexy curves beneath it. She wore a string of fine pearls on her elegant neck that reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but—
“Well, believe it or not, I grew up in a small town.” Her face colored slightly when he arched his brows in surprise. “But it’s been a while.”
“Daaaddyyyyy!”
Stone swiveled toward the voice. Sara stood in the doorway to the gymnasium, waving wildly, making him smile. “Coming,” he called.
He turned back to Jenna and caught the unwitting look of sheer longing she’d cast toward Sara. It wasn’t the thought of pizza that put that look on her face, he somehow knew, but loneliness.
Something he understood all too well. It called to him, but was he really ready for this? “Come on,” he said quietly with an inner sigh of resignation. Hell, no, he wasn’t ready, but he couldn’t ignore the strange pull of attraction. He held out a hand. “Let’s go eat.”
* * *
Her deep-rooted fear of again being shunned by the town nearly overcame her, but Jenna had a stiff talk with herself as she followed Stone and Sara in her own car to the pizza joint.
Clearly no one was going to recognize her.
And though she’d come back with the intention of letting everyone know who she was, especially Sara, Jenna was beginning to see the advantage of remaining silent, if only for a little while.
Until she proved she’d changed.
She was no longer a young terrified girl on the path of destruction. She’d become a woman who could control herself and her destiny.
A woman who was going to show everyone how worthy she was. A woman who hoped someday soon to have her daughter back in her life.
Having decided this, it was all she could do to contain herself as she stepped from her car and looked at the two people standing there waiting for her. Stone was leaning against his truck, long legs casually crossed, one hand tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, the other resting on Sara’s shoulders. He was relaxed, yet so clearly strong and vital and content with himself and his surroundings. Jenna knew what iron will and inner strength existed just beneath the surface of that body, and admired him for it.
To be half as confident as he...
He smiled a greeting then, his face transforming into the easygoing carefree Stone she used to know, and Jenna was forced to add yet another trait to her list—utterly sexy.
She stumbled at the thought, as again, ridiculously, she found herself rendered stupid by the impact of Stone’s fathomless gaze. He reached for her, an automatic gesture. Their hands brushed, his large one grasping her much smaller one, and she jumped at the contact. It was startling, that someone who moved and talked with such languid ease had such heat in his skin.
And in his eyes as they held hers.
Stone held open the restaurant door, letting first Sara, then Jenna, into the noisy but warm and welcoming place. It was packed, filled to the brim with hungry laughing talking people. Some Jenna recognized from her past and some she didn’t.
She hesitated, suddenly unsure, panicky.
What if she saw him—the man she’d let destroy her life? It had been so long ago, but seeing the man who had molested her would really make her lose any bit of control she still had. He’d likely be here, principal of the only school in town. Her heart thumped against her ribs as she whipped her head back and forth, searching the crowd.
She was making a big deal of nothing, she told herself when she didn’t find him. For all she knew. Rand Ridgeway had moved on, or at least changed occupations.
No sight of him. Still, she couldn’t relax, couldn’t make herself step farther in.
But then she felt Stone’s big warm hand gently rest on the small of her back in an old-fashioned gesture to guide her, and she nearly leaped right out of her skin.
When was the last time she’d been touched like that? As if she mattered? She looked up and he murmured something incoherent, something meant to be soothing, and it was.
She forced herself to relax, to lose the wide-eyed panic she knew she’d displayed. Stone didn’t keep his hand on her; in fact, he removed it immediately, making it the casual chivalrous gesture it had been meant to be—which in no way explained why her knees wobbled.
“I’m so ready to eat,” Sara declared as they wound their way through the sea of tables.
They were stopped several times by people who wanted to say hello or to congratulate Sara and Stone on the win. Several were business associates, and Stone nodded politely to everyone, while a portion of his mind remained occupied by the enigmatic woman walking in front of him as if to the guillotine.
The farther they went into the restaurant, the stiffer her shoulders became, and again, he wondered why.
Who was she? Why did he care? And why couldn’t he be attracted to someone without problems? Someone who had nothing to hide?
“Hello, Stone.”
He sighed. The woman who’d stepped between him and Cindy was Nellie, the postal clerk. She loved to keep her nose in everybody’s business but her own. He’d known her since high school, and in all that time, her crush on him had never faded.
Short and wide as the aisle in which they were standing in, Nellie effectively blocked their way, making Stone want to groan, for he knew there would be no moving past her until she was good and finished with him.
Nellie eyed Cindy with undisguised interest, but spoke to Stone. “You didn’t pick up your mail today, hon. Everything okay?”
He used a post-office box for his business because he often received huge shipments of supplies for the prototypes he put together. He had to, dealing as he did with hundreds of school districts and the way his business was growing by leaps and bounds.
Nellie read the return address on every package.
“Everything’s fine.” And if he had told her otherwise, he’d probably hear it on the evening news. “I’ll get it later.”
Nellie still stared at Cindy, who stood directly in front of Stone, her back to him. He had no trouble detecting Cindy’s rigid stance, her increasing stress, which told him exactly how uncomfortable the unwarranted scrutiny was making her. “Excuse us, Nel,” he said, risking another light touch to the small of Jenna’s back so that she at least attempted to move around the postal clerk.
Startled, Jenna glanced at him over her shoulder, her lips slightly parted. And right there, surrounded by insanity and a hungry daughter, Stone felt the most unexpected urge to bend down and kiss her. Just plant his lips on hers and lose himself until her fear was gone, until she wrapped her slender arms around his neck and whimpered with desire into his mouth.
“You have a new friend.”
Nellie again.
Cindy took a tiny step backward, as if terrified he was going to introduce her. But she’d miscalculated their closeness and bumped right into his chest. Automatically his hands came up to cup her shoulders, steadying her.
Beneath his fingers, she trembled, and any erotic thoughts fled in the face of his concern.
What was so threatening about this place? he wondered. The crowds? Nellie?
The scent of pizza teased his nostrils. His stomach grumbled, reminding him he’d skipped lunch again, working through it so he could take off early for Sara’s game.
Maybe he was just imagining Cindy’s fear. He’d find out. He had the advantage, for he rarely gave up on something once he’d set his mind to it, and for whatever reason, he’d set his mind on Cindy Beatty.
“Are you new in town?” Nellie asked Cindy.
“Yes,” Stone answered for her, squeezing Cindy’s shoulders gently when she made a sudden movement as if preparing to run. “She’s new and we’re starving. Excuse us?”
Smoothly he maneuvered around Nellie, and walked toward the back where there were still a couple of booths available.
Sara stood there grinning broadly, endearingly, before leaning forward to whisper loudly, “She always wants to talk to Daddy. She likes him.”
“Sara...”
“Well, she does. Mrs. Potts said so.”
A startled laugh escaped Cindy, which Stone enjoyed because he could tell she wasn’t a woman who laughed often.
Sara blinked innocently. “Mrs. Potts says Nellie likes your bones and the way they’re put together, Daddy.”
“Enough,” he said firmly, torn between embarrassment and the urge to laugh. Mrs. Potts came to clean his house once a week, had for the past five years, and this apparently gave her pecking rights. And like Nellie, she continuously attempted to run Stone’s life.
“I’m starving,” Sara announced again.
Stone was starving, too, not just for food but for another touch of the woman he knew nothing about yet couldn’t seem to get out of his head. He waited for Cindy to sit, and though his ingrained politeness had him reaching to support her as she slid into the booth, he brought his hand quickly back to his side, not eager to feel the jolt of awareness again.
Not for a woman he sensed was deeply troubled and far too vulnerable. Not for a woman who didn’t know he had commitments in his life he could never turn away from, including the short pigtailed grinning one standing next to him.
“Daddy—” Sara didn’t sit, but shifted eagerly from one foot to another, her hand held out, palm up “—can I have some money while we wait for the pizza? Pretty please?”
“Why? So you can lose it all in the arcade over there?”
“I won’t lose.” Sara’s bony shoulders straightened with pride. “You taught me how, remember?”
Caught, Stone reached into his pockets. “Stay where I can see you, okay?”
“Daddy—”
“Just do it, sport I’ll call you when the pizza gets here.” He handed her a fistful of change he knew would last all of ten minutes and watched her race off with the abandon of youth, his heart contracting with that odd mixture of bittersweet pride and love.
Cindy watched Sara, too, her expression filled with a longing so acute it took Stone’s breath away. “Cindy?”
The woman sitting across from him didn’t move, just kept watching his daughter with that haunted expression on her face, making him wonder what she could possibly be thinking. It wasn’t happiness that had her so lost to him, not with that much pain in her expression, and he hoped she hadn’t once lost a child.
“Cindy.” It was as if she’d forgotten her name, which was ridiculous of course. Finally he reached across the table and removed her sunglasses, smiling when she seemed to nearly leap out of her skin. “You okay?”
She blinked and flushed. “Your daughter’s remarkable.”
“Yes, and expensive,” Stone said dryly, hoping to tease her out of whatever had disturbed her.
“She’s worth it.”
Her eyes were very dark, almost black, their rims reddened. “Are you a mom?”
“I...no.” Shaking her head, she said more firmly, “No. I’m not.”
The crazy urge to wrap his arms around her was strong, but it was far too soon for that. She didn’t wear a ring, although he knew that was no guarantee she was single. “Is there...someone...?” Lord, he felt awkward. He’d been off the dating track too long.
“There’s no one,” she said softly, staring at her hands as if they held the greatest interest
“Me, either,” he said, smiling when she shot him a look of profound relief. “And you have plenty of time left to have a child when you’re ready.”
Her smile turned rueful. “Am I that obvious?”
“Not at all. I just saw a flash of longing... Well, it takes a parent to recognize it.”
“You make a great father. I mean—” clearly embarrassed, she clenched her fingers together on the table “—you must be so proud.”
He was, but he refused to get caught in the easy trap of light conversation. Not when he was brimming with curiosity he couldn’t seem to ignore. “So, what is it that brings you to San Paso Bay?”
Again a quick flash of unease, almost fear, crossed her face. “I’m going to start a temp agency.”
Automatically reacting to her fear, Stone’s gaze scanned the crowd until he found Sara, safely playing, then he gave his attention back to Cindy. “In this little town?”
She lifted her chin, looking touchingly haughty and uncertain at the same time. “You don’t have one yet, you know. And neither Morro Heights nor El Tara, the two neighboring towns, have one, either. Which means there’s plenty of business.”
She spoke as if she had to convince him. “Okay.”
“I’ve researched carefully, and all three towns have plenty of growing industry. Actually the want ads are overwhelming. There’s enough to keep me busy.”
“I think it sounds good.”
“You do?”
He had no idea why that slight wobble in her voice so touched him. “You’ll do great.”
“I want to settle here—permanently.”
“It’s a nice place to live.”
“And raise kids?”
“Yes. Definitely. It’s a quiet safe town.”
“So safe you have to warn your daughter to stay in sight in a pizza joint filled with people you know?”
Damn, he hadn’t expected to be faced with his own fears, fears that went back ten years to a woman and to an event so horrifying it still dictated how he treated his daughter’s safety. “Maybe I’m just an overprotective parent.”
She gave him a long look. “The sad fact is, no town is completely safe.” Her weary tone said she knew that all too well. Her hands, active only a moment before, settled on the table. “There’s always trouble,” she said quietly. “And it can happen anywhere.”
Of course it was true, and how well he knew it. Even in San Paso Bay, bad things happened. It’d been a while since he’d dwelled on the scandal that had nearly destroyed him, that had driven the only woman he’d ever loved right out of his life. The circumstances had been out of their control, a cruelty from a most unexpected place, but it had happened and nothing could change it.
Jenna was long gone now. She’d not had enough belief in justice to see the crisis through. That, combined with the problem of getting pregnant too young, had made her fall apart.
Stone didn’t blame her for getting pregnant or even for the need to run. But he did blame her for not trusting him or herself enough to let their love prevail.
“I think it depends on your attitude,” he said carefully, “and how hard you try. If you’re looking for a new start, this is a great place to do it. Do you have family?”
She dropped her gaze, studied the tabletop. “Family?”
“As in people related to you?”
“Not really.”
“You’re so talkative,” he said, grinning.
She looked at him, startled, and finally seemed to realize he was teasing her. A reluctant smile tugged at her lips. “Okay, let me rephrase that,” she offered. “Yes, technically I have family. But we don’t act like family. Does that clear things up?”
If she’d asked him the same thing, his answer wouldn’t have been much different. Yes, he had family. But they didn’t want to be part of his life.
Simple as that.
“Clear as mud,” he said. “Where do you come from?”
She crossed her arms. Then, as if realizing what that gave away, she uncrossed them, making him smile sympathetically. She frowned at him in response. “You’re full of questions. And I don’t like to talk about myself.”
Maybe she’d been alone all her life, which would account for the way she protected herself. By keeping people at bay, she couldn’t get hurt.
He understood the philosophy. At one time, deserted by everyone he’d ever cared about, he might have gone down that same path. He hadn’t, partly because he was an innate people person. But mostly, despite what had happened to him, he believed people were basically good.
Maybe Cindy hadn’t learned that, and at the thought of someone hurting her, his chest tightened. He wanted her; he had from the first moment he’d seen her. But now that wanting changed, deepened into something else. Something sharper and more defined.
He wanted to protect her, and the fierceness of this desire was startling. Oh, he’d wanted women before, lots of them; it was just that never, since Jenna, had he felt it quite so piercingly. He didn’t stop to think about the significance of that; he simply absorbed it with his usual acceptance of change.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.
“Like what?”
“Like...you care.”
They stared at each other. “Because I do,” Stone finally said. “I look at you and I feel... something. I didn’t like it at first, which is why I took off on you at the beach. But now—now it makes me want to keep caring.”
Her mouth opened, then slowly closed. “You’re scaring me.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.
