Читать книгу The Detective's Undoing - Jill Shalvis - Страница 9

The Triple M Guest Ranch was to be open from Thursday to Sunday every week. Originally they hadn’t planned to accept guests during the autumn and winter months at all, but financial problems had forced them to give it a try.

The reservations had started to trickle in, giving the sisters tentative hope of success.

The rumor was, autumn in Idaho was heaven on earth. At least that’s what their brochure claimed. And for those who enjoyed the unique—and drastic—weather, it was true.

Delia didn’t get it.

The spiders were huge, the air so cold it hurt to breathe and the water so soft she couldn’t do a thing with her hair.

But she absolutely loved being with her sisters, loved watching them get a kick out of life for a change, and there was no denying that they loved this existence.

She’d learn to love it, too, she decided. For them. So she carried bug spray, wore lots of warm layers and kept her hair pulled back so she couldn’t see it.

Now she walked through the large ranch house, which they’d worked so hard on to clean up. What a job that had been. Everything had been in a sorry state of repair when they’d first arrived last summer. With little more than the clothes on their backs, they’d been sorely challenged to make a go of it, but no one was better at surviving than Zoe, Maddie and Delia.

Delia’s boots clicked on the clean but scarred wood floors. Around her, the house creaked in the wind, a happy sort of sound. She stopped at the hall telephone, thinking she’d like to call Jacob, but it was too late. Besides, one more strained phone call between them and she might break. She had to remain strong. It gave her hope.

She moved to the sliding glass door in the living room, which led to the wraparound deck. They had one week until their grand opening, and aside from the sound of the wind in the eaves, the house was quiet and peaceful.

Normally Delia loved whatever time she could grab for herself, but now she had too much time to think.

It didn’t help that Cade was still on the ranch, driving her to distraction with his light teasing and hot eyes. He was nothing but a thorn in her side, but granted, he was the sexiest thorn she’d ever had. Thank God he wasn’t a man to stay in one place long enough for a post office to find him. He’d be off soon, she was sure of it. That was how he was made, with a powerful wanderlust she would never understand.

He scared her, she forced herself to admit, resting her forehead against the glass and staring out into the deep dark night. He definitely scared her. After all, Delia needed no one and had made sure no one needed her. As a result, she’d bent people to her will with little to no effort. Teachers, friends. Men.

But not Cade McKnight.

He was truly his own man, one who refused to bow to any authority except his own.

It was frightening to realize she could never control a man like that. But no matter. Despite what he’d said about no longer being able to ignore her, she could still ignore him.

Needing air, regardless of how cold it was, she stepped out into the night, onto the deck that Ty had recently rebuilt. She heard bubbles, which she knew came from the newly installed hot tub, and she followed the sound in search of her sisters, seeking what only they had been able to give her.

Acceptance.

She found Zoe and Ty blissfully immersed in the steaming water, entwined. They were kissing—a deep passionate kiss that made Delia sigh theatrically even as something deep within her yearned. “Don’t you guys ever do anything other than connect your mouths?”

Ty lifted his wet head and shot her a wicked grin. “Uh-huh.”

Zoe smacked him lightly on his chest and smiled up at her sister. “Come on in, Dee. It feels terrific on sore muscles.”

Ty’s grin faded. “You hurt something?”

His concern was touching…and embarrassing, considering it was her bottom that hurt the most from the unaccustomed riding. Zoe and Ty did most of the physical work on the ranch, working the horses and their small herd of cattle. Maddie ran the kitchen, providing all meals. Delia’s job was managing the reservations and the front desk, which included checking people in and out and keeping up the house.

It wasn’t very physical—anyone could have done it. Which was the root of most of her guilt, because she didn’t feel she was pulling her weight. She didn’t belong and she knew that; she just couldn’t admit it to her sisters.

Ty straightened, standing in the tub, a frown marring his brow as water dripped off his well-built frame. He was one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen. “What did you hurt?” he asked.

Zoe snickered and Delia sent her a dirty look. “Nothing,” she muttered.

Some of his fierceness drained, but none of his curiosity, and finally Zoe took pity on her clueless husband-to-be. “She hurt her rear end yesterday during her riding lesson.” She shoved back her wet auburn hair. “She’s got first-timer’s butt.”

“It was my second lesson,” Delia corrected with icy dignity.

Ty bit his lip, but his eyes danced with humor. “Maybe Cade ought to take it easier on you next time.”

Ty and Zoe laughed then, revoltingly disgusting in their happiness.

“Speaking of Cade, why is he still here, anyway?”

Ty lifted a brow at Delia’s question, glancing at Zoe before answering. “You know he’s working.”

“You mean eating us out of house and home.”

“Well, technically, that’s Maddie’s fault,” Ty countered. “She’s too good a cook.”

“But we don’t even know anything about him—his background, where he came from…anything.”

Something flickered in Ty’s eyes. Knowledge of Cade, Delia realized, and whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasant.

She’d known from the first time she’d looked into Cade’s dark gaze that he’d suffered in his past. But to know the details of that suffering would be to know him far more intimately than she ever intended, especially when she didn’t intend to know him at all.

“Cade’s past isn’t important to Constance’s case or our friendship with him,” Ty said carefully. “He’s trustworthy and honest, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters.”

“He’s a friend,” Zoe agreed softly, reaching for Ty’s hand and smiling at him with love in her eyes. “Without him we wouldn’t be here.”

“I know.” Delia sighed, then kicked off her boots, pulled off her socks and crossed to the edge of the tub. Pulling up a chair, she sank into it, set her bare chilled feet into the water and moaned with pleasure.

Moving close, Zoe put her hand on Delia’s leg. “What’s the matter?”

Delia shifted away. “Nothing.”

“Delia.”

She sighed, rubbed her temples. Everything, she wanted to say. I can’t control this place. I can’t control what happens to Jacob. I can’t control these strange feelings I’m having for Cade. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” It was a half-truth. Which was as good as a lie, something she’d never told to either Zoe or Maddie.

Still standing, Ty divided a look between them. “Is this the kind of talk where men aren’t invited?”

It seemed like forever that there’d been no one but Zoe and Maddie in Delia’s life. But now there was Ty, too, and though Delia didn’t trust men on principle, Zoe, the tough fiercely independent sister, loved him with all her heart. That made him okay in Delia’s book. “You can stay.”

“Good,” he said with a grateful shiver, sinking back into the water. “Not just because I was starting to freeze, which I was, but because as your brother, I have to hear all the gossip or I’m completely ineffective when I tease you.”

Delia narrowed her eyes. “Brother?”

“Well, yeah.” He gently tugged on a lock of her hair. “Which means I get to annoy you often, you know. I also get to inspect all future boyfriends and grill them until their eyes cross. And beating up anyone who hurts you is just a given.”

The strangest thing happened. Delia’s heart constricted, making her chest far too tight to breathe. A warmth filled her. To cover that, and all the confusing emotions that went with it, she punched him. “I can take care of myself.”

“Not with a punch like that you can’t.”

Zoe smiled at the banter, but still watched Delia carefully. “What’s really going on, Dee? Why did you ask about Cade?”

“I just think he can solve this case from his office in Boise.” Or maybe from the other side of the country.

“He’s not…bothering you in any way, is he?” This from Ty, who Delia knew cared deeply about Cade. After all, without Cade, Ty would never have met Zoe. Or any of them for that matter.

“No, he’s not bothering me,” Delia said slowly. Not much other than occupying my every single thought. “But as my big brother, would you really beat him up for me if he was?”

“You better believe it, baby.”

Zoe laughed, running her hand over her fiancé’s straining biceps as he comically flexed for them. “Isn’t Cade bigger than you?”

“It’s not about brawn,” Ty assured her, giving up the pose and laughing when Zoe rolled her eyes. “It’s all in how you use it.”

Zoe shook her head. “Men.”

Ty kissed her laughing mouth, which made Zoe melt and Delia…well, she melted, too, but she couldn’t get sidetracked. Once upon a time it had mattered greatly to Zoe who inherited the Triple M. Delia knew Zoe had wanted to be the heir with all her heart. Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be, and Zoe seemed to have come to terms with it.

Which didn’t make this any easier.

Zoe pulled back from Ty. “Come on, Delia, tell me what’s up.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Well, we’re pretty good at complicated,” Zoe told her dryly. “Our whole life has been complicated.”

Yes, but how to explain that her need to be the heir was greater than either of her sisters’? That she hated to need anything at all, but to need this, this huge thing, was nearly killing her.

“It’s the investigation,” Zoe guessed. “Cade’s investigation for Constance.”

“No.”

“It’s Jacob, then. Oh, honey, I wish I could make this all work out, right now.”

“Me, too.” This was so hard. With all her heart, she wanted happiness for Zoe and Maddie. But she also wanted Jacob. How to hurt one sibling over another?

She couldn’t.

She’d have to do this on her own, have to prove her worth to the judge. She wouldn’t ask her sisters for help unless it became absolutely necessary. “It’s nothing,” she said quietly as the weight of her lies buried her. “I’m just…tired.”

“Of course you are, with all this worrying over Jacob. You talked to him today?”

“Yesterday.” If one could call it that, for Jacob didn’t do much other than respond to her with monosyllabic answers.

Yes, he liked school.

No, he didn’t have too much homework.

Yes, he liked sports.

No, he didn’t know where the Triple M was.

And given his tone, he didn’t care, but there was always the slightest quiver in his voice, the smallest hesitation, and she clung to that, having to believe it did matter to him, that he was just uncertain and afraid.

Time, she reminded herself. He needed time.

“I know you want to go to Los Angeles alone,” Zoe said. “But I wish you’d let us come with you.”

Delia knew they would drop everything. They’d cancel guests, they’d spend money they didn’t have. They’d do anything for her, anything at all, including hurting their future.

Delia was many things, but she refused to be that selfish. “I’ll be fine.”

Zoe nodded reluctantly, clearly not believing, but unwilling to push further. “Promise if you change your mind, you’ll tell us. We’d be there, Delia, in a heartbeat.”

“I know.”

With one lithe motion, Zoe was out of the water. “I haven’t seen you this upset in a long time,” she said dripping water everywhere. “It scares me.”

“This is upset?” Ty looked from one woman to the other. “She hasn’t even raised her voice.”

“Delia never raises her voice.” Zoe bent to take Delia’s hand, looking deeply into her eyes. “Jacob is yours, honey. The court will see that.”

Delia closed her eyes.

“And as for Cade…”

Delia’s eyes flew open again. That name, she thought darkly. Just that name altered her pulse.

“He belongs here, too.”

Ty got out of the tub and wrapped his fiancée in a towel. “Let’s go inside,” he decided. “I’ll get everyone a hot drink and we’ll discuss how much Delia will pay me to kick Cade out on his tough rear end.”

“We’re not kicking anyone out.” Zoe was still watching Delia. “Honey, you know we can’t. He’s a part of this family now, and when you think about it, whatever is bothering you, you’ll realize we can’t hurt his feelings.”

“Feelings?” Worry and stress hardened Delia’s voice. “If he didn’t have to be here, he’d be long gone, having easily forgotten all about us.”

The sound of someone male clearing his throat came from behind her. “Well, that’s flattering.” The voice was hauntingly familiar.

Delia groaned, wished for the night to be even darker so that she could vanish. She turned and saw Cade standing there, leaning his big body against the doorjamb, his arms casually crossed over his chest. “You must not think too highly of me,” he said quietly, his unsmiling eyes on hers, “if you think I could easily forget anything about you.”

It was embarrassing. Ridiculous. Silly even. But she could think of nothing to say, couldn’t even find her legendary cool, so she did the only thing she could.

She grabbed her shoes, squared her shoulders and walked right past him, as well as Zoe and Ty, into the night.

And for once, she was grateful for the icy air because it cooled her heated cheeks.

But not her dreams.

Oh, she definitely has a bee in her bonnet, Cade thought as he came upon Delia on her hands and knees in the dining room the next day, scrubbing a stubborn stain on the hardwood floor.

Her hair was loose and shining, and her backside… He took an extra-long moment to admire the way it shimmied and shaked as she worked. Her long legs were tense with strain, and for an insane moment he wished they were tense and strained…around him.

He had no idea what was running through her head, but he could safely bet his last dollar it wasn’t anything close to his own lusty thoughts. “A penny for your thoughts,” he ventured.

She stiffened, making him smile. God, she was so easy to rile.

“Hell,” he said, grinning at her uptight pretty little spine. “I’ll give you everything I have for them.” Opening his wallet, he pulled out a bill. “How about five bucks?”

She sat back on her heels, wearing her queen-to-peasant expression that never failed to stir his blood.

Off-limits, McKnight, he reminded himself. Way off limits.

Still, egged on by some perverse need to see her ruffled out of her cool calm, he waved the money. “What do you say?”

Her lips, wide and oh-so-kissable, tightened. She looked away, but not before he caught a flash of…vulnerability? When he frowned and looked again, it was gone. Which was good. Delia wasn’t vulnerable, no more than he was, well, able to settle down. “Hey, if anyone’s upset about last night, it should be me. It was my reputation you were slandering.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I certainly didn’t mean for you to hear.”

But not sorry she hurt his feelings, he noted, torn between the sting of that and humor at her fierce pride.

She was so in control.

He wondered what it would take to have the city girl lose the reins on that tightly held control. He couldn’t help the possibilities that tumbled through his head, starting with a hot deep wet kiss. Yeah, that would do it nicely. He could picture it—her long blond hair falling around him, brushing his bare belly, his thighs. Her lush lips would curve gently, her eyes molten as she softened with desire.

But Delia wasn’t soft at all. She was staring at him, her frosty-blue eyes narrowed, her body taut as a bow.

He should walk away.

And yet he couldn’t. He’d known the three of them, Zoe, Maddie and Delia, for far too long to do that now. In spite of himself and his past, he’d grown to care for them, felt responsible for them coming so far from their home city of Los Angeles to the wilds of Idaho.

But it was more than that, and though he wasn’t willing to name it, Delia seemed to be at the bottom of it. He hardly knew her, he understood that. She had a knack for hiding her true self, for being incredibly stingy with emotions. He understood that, too. Though he hated it, it made him all the more curious, and there was nothing worse than a curious investigator.

In spite of needing to be far away from here and from this woman who drew him as no other had in too long, he worried about her. “You seem uptight today.”

“I thought I was always uptight.”

“Well, there’s uptight and then there’s uptight.”

“I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t, for whatever reason, and he knew it. He’d known it the other night when he’d found her in the dark in the kitchen, with tears in her huge blue eyes.

He had other cases to be obsessing over, had a whole other life, in fact, and yet the Triple M haunted him.

Delia haunted him.

She was staring down at her cleaning supplies as if they held the greatest interest.

Cade knew his instincts were razor sharp. They’d saved his life more times than he could count, and they were screaming now. “Ownership of this place would be incredible,” he said carefully, seemingly out of the blue, but he’d had a hunch.

She flinched before she could control it, confirming his guess.

Bingo. “You know I’m doing my damnedest to get proof of that ownership,” he said softly. “Whether it turns out to be you or Maddie.”

“I know.”

He tried a different tack. “Your father—tell me about him.”

“I have an idea.” She’d risen and now grabbed her broom and started sweeping. “Let’s talk about you, instead,” she said.

“Me? Why?”

“Because you’re one big mystery.”

“My past isn’t relevant to this case.”

“And therefore doesn’t need to be discussed?”

“Exactly. Now tell me about your father.”

“You’re a hard man, Cade McKnight.”

“From you, Delia, I take that as a compliment.” He was surprised when she smiled. “Your father?” he repeated patiently.

“You mean, could he have been Ethan Freeman?” She’d given up trying to get information out of him, whether because it wasn’t important to her, or because she knew he wasn’t about to indulge her curiosity, he had no clue.

“We’ve already discussed this,” she said, leaning on her broom. “All I ever knew was what my mother told me when I was five, just before she took me to the foster home.”

And had left her there, without a word. What kind of mother, Cade wondered, would just dump her child like that? He came from a large loving family of six. His mother would no more give up a child than her own right arm. And even when Cade had walked away from that family, his heart destroyed, she’d never turned her back on him, instead, had badgered and badgered until he’d come back to the fold.

Delia set aside the broom and lifted one of the three windows. Immediately a cool breeze hit them. Delia’s sweater plastered itself to her lush form. Cade tried not to look, he really did, but she was so beautiful.

And remote.

“She said he was an undercover cop on assignment,” Delia continued in that low husky voice, the one that screamed sex.

Or maybe it was just his own mind that screamed sex. “Undercover cop,” he repeated, shaking his head to clear it.

“Top-secret assignment. I don’t think she even told him I existed.”

Cade had taken on some heartbreaking cases before, not to mention his own unspeakable heartbreak. He prided himself on his ability to harden himself, separate himself from any pain, his own or his clients.

But he didn’t seem to be able to do that with Delia, and it disturbed him that he felt her anguish as his own. In fact, it multiplied his own. “We know Ethan Freeman disappeared about that time.”

“Just as we know it’s unlikely he became a cop,” she countered. “So unless you’ve missed something or made a mistake…”

It was possible. God knew, he’d certainly made plenty of mistakes in his life. His biggest had cost the lives of the two people he’d cared about most.

Delia stared sightlessly out the window, showing more emotion in just her weary stance than Cade had ever seen her show.

“The three of you are sharing the ranch no matter who inherits,” he said.

“Yes, we knew we would do that before we even got here.”

“Then why does it matter which of the three of you actually owns the Triple M?”

It took her a second longer than usual, but her eyes shuttered and she drew herself up. “You couldn’t possibly understand, not with your life-style.”

Since she knew nothing about his life-style or why he led it, that shouldn’t have hurt.

“And, anyway, it matters,” she whispered.

Cade knew how close she and her sisters were, knew that they had clung together out of a need for more than mere survival during their childhood years. They’d been mother, father, sibling and best friend to one another. They’d been one another’s sole support. Out of that had grown a deep abiding love that was stronger than in most blood-related families.

Despite himself, despite how many years it had been, something deep and frozen in Cade cracked. Thawed. He’d had a family once.

A wife and a beautiful son.

But Lisa and Tommy were dead, had been for eight long years now.

As a result, he lived for his cases, as wide and diversified as he could get them and as scattered across the globe as possible. It helped bury his pain, the all-consuming pain that was too great to think about. Actually, it was far easier not to think at all, instead, taking on case after case, working himself half to death, pushing himself to the very limit and then beyond, so he could fall into bed at night so exhausted he couldn’t even dream. Traveling was a way of life for him, the only way, because if he stayed in one spot too long he lost himself.

It was that simple.

He’d been on this case too long, and the wanderlust part of him was raging to run far and never look back at this place, which was beginning to feel too much like a home.

Damn. Not that. Not ever again did he want a home, a warm safe place that could only, in the end, hurt him. Soon enough he’d solve this case and be on his way, he promised himself. And until then, he’d be an idiot to encourage any more ties than absolutely necessary.

But Delia blew out a harsh breath. “I need to be heir to get Jacob.”

Don’t ask. Just back off, McKnight. “Jacob is your brother,” he said, instead. “I’m betting the court rules in your favor.”

“The court is going to snub its nose at me.” Her voice was clear enough, but her hands shook when she again reached for the broom.

And despite all his talk about no ties and distance, he moved closer. “What are you talking about? Of course they won’t.”

“I’m financially insolvent, I’m a thousand miles away from Jacob’s home, and I’m single. I’m not exactly parenting material.”

He thought that was pretty much crap and said so.

Her lips tightened, but it was as if the veil of control lifted for that one second, and he suddenly saw the truth.

She didn’t believe herself worthy.

Distance. Lord, he sorely needed it, but there was none coming, not when she was standing there pretending to be so strong and fierce when inside she was incredibly vulnerable, so much so that he ached to hold her. “Delia…you’ll get him.”

She just shrugged.

He was leaving Idaho soon. Wanted to be leaving. Couldn’t wait to be leaving.

So why, then, did his heart contract just from looking at her struggling with pride, rigid with the effort to be strong for everyone?

Who was strong for her?

“You’re leaving for Los Angeles in a few days,” he said slowly. “To meet Jacob.”

“Yes.”

“I have a case there. I could come with you, try to help—”

“No,” she said quickly. “I’ll do this alone.”

He watched her gather her supplies, watched her move away from him, and with everything he had, he wanted to let it go. Wanted to let her go.

“Hell,” he muttered, knowing he couldn’t let her go alone. Knowing also that it was far more than mere friendly concern.