Читать книгу Once a Hero... - Jillian Burns - Страница 8

LUKE CHECKED HIS WATCH again as he sat at the picnic table, elbows on knees, tapping his foot. Seven-twenty. Something told him Kristen had never been in the military. She’d have been court-martialed.

Damn it. He’d shaved for this. He’d even bought a new shirt. But it was probably a bad idea to begin with. He was only going to be here a couple more weeks.

Five minutes. Then he was out of here.

The beach was fairly crowded this time of day. He watched swimmers and snorkelers in the ocean. A dozen or so young adults clad in bikinis and cutoffs engaged in a loud game of beach volleyball. And a few families with small kids played in the surf.

All these people with normal lives. Happy lives. He remembered days like that when he was a kid. Before his dad died. He wanted normal. Happy.

Ten minutes later he stood, a hollow feeling in his stomach, and headed down the sidewalk, not really thinking about where he was going. Just … away from here.

“Luke!”

He heard his name and glanced behind him to find Kristen racing across the street. She looked … worth waiting for. A pretty little dress that hugged her trim figure and then flared out all flirty at the bottom. High heels that made her legs look a mile long. And she’d curled her straight hair.

His cock stirred behind his zipper. Until that moment he hadn’t realized how dead that part of him had been, for a long time now. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as she caught up to him.

“I’m so sorry I kept you waiting.” Her delicate brows furrowed and she bit her bottom lip. “If I’d had your cell number, I would’ve called.”

“It’s fine.” A ripe-berry scent came to him on the breeze from her shampoo and he hardened even more.

“I have a totally great reason I’m late. I’ll tell you all about it at dinner.”

He stared at her shoes. “You want to walk? Or, I’ve got a rental …”

“We can walk.” But she didn’t move except to turn her face to the ocean. “What a spectacular sunset.”

Luke glanced across the beach and concentrated on how the sun, surrounded by vibrant peach, pink and purple altostratus clouds, was just about to sink into the sea. It didn’t help his problem.

“But, then, I haven’t seen one that wasn’t gorgeous since I’ve been here.” She abruptly turned and headed north. “So, have you, uh, been out on the beach at that time of night before?”

He knew what she was fishing for. He nodded. “Once or twice.”

“Ha! Well, I guess you were wondering about my behavior, huh?”

He shrugged, reluctant to admit the words crazy and suicidal had crossed his mind.

“There’s just something about the moon when it’s so big in the night sky. And especially here, it just seems huge, don’t you think?”

Big. Huge. He closed his eyes and willed away the images those words conjured up. “I think …” He cleared his throat. “It’s the lack of anything to compare its size to, when it’s juxtaposed to a wide expanse of sea.”

“Yes, exactly.” She smiled and touched his arm. He flinched and she frowned and removed her hand. “Anyway. I was just … enjoying life.” She lifted her arm and face to the sky as she had those nights.

Enjoying? Oh, to be so carefree. In his world, life was more about enduring.

“I guess that seems silly.”

He glanced at her. Her voice had gone all quiet, and she was staring at her clutch purse as she picked at one of the seashell details covering it.

“No.” He put his hand over hers. “That wasn’t what I was thinking.”

Their eyes met and held and their steps slowed. And then she smiled, directly at him, only for him, and her blue eyes—a true sky blue—twinkled with happiness.

Luke realized two things. First, his breathing had quickened when she smiled at him. Second, he wanted to see her do it again.

She curled her hand around his and when she continued walking, she didn’t let go. Palm trees and lush bougainvillea lined both sides of the road as it curved and took them farther from the edge of the ocean.

If anyone had told him a month ago he’d be strolling down the Maui coast holding hands with a gorgeous blonde, he’d have ordered them a brain scan. The scenario just didn’t fit with the world he lived in. But the longer his fingers stayed entwined with hers, the stronger the sensation inside him grew. It was warmth, and a longing to slide his hand up her arm and pull her into him and hold her.

He pictured his hands circling her tiny waist, sliding up her spine, lowering his mouth to hers….

Settle down, Andrews. Think about something else.

He took stock of his surroundings. The only place he’d been since he’d flown into Maui was the beach, but he remembered the shopping center they were passing from his drive from the airport. A grocery store, a surf and dive shop, a couple of fast-food chains and even a famous coffee shop. The next block sported several bars: The Tiki Lounge, The Flaming Flamingo and the Tradewinds Bar and Grill, where Kristen worked. Where he’d gone for a cold beer.

Kristen passed that corner and turned east. About a block down was the seafood place. Once they were seated, she ordered a cola. “I serve cocktails all night,” she explained, then picked up her menu. Luke ordered a beer.

“I’ve heard the lobster’s really fresh here.”

He nodded. “Sounds good.”

“And some shrimp scampi?” At his nod, she repeated the order to the waiter and handed him her menu. Once he left she pulled a sheepish expression. “I really don’t have a very good reason for being late except that I—I went shopping and had my hair done.”

So, she’d bought this dress just for tonight? He liked that. And he didn’t. His condition worsened.

She fiddled with the fork and napkin. “I didn’t get back from diving until after two—”

“You’ve been scuba diving today?” Desperate for a distraction, he latched on to the topic.

She nodded. “I dive every day, but usually only for a few hours in the morning. I’ve been diving since I could walk, practically. Used to go with my dad to San Onofre State Beach every Saturday morning. We still do. In San Diego.” Her expression turned wistful. “I’m living with my mom and dad at the moment. They love it, of course. But my older brother gives me a hard time about it. He’s been living in L.A. since he graduated high school. He just likes to tease me, though. He’s been doing that all my life. But I guess that’s what older brothers are for.

“I’m only living here for a few months,” she added. “You’ve heard of Geographic Universe, right?”

He nodded, but she’d already continued. “Each year they sponsor an international photography contest. I’m entering the nature category. The grand-prize winner gets their photo published in the magazine, ten thousand dollars and a chance to work with Geographic Universe‘s head photographer.”

As she talked, their food arrived. It smelled delicious and he grabbed his fork.

“But,” Kristen continued, “they get tens of thousands of submissions. In order to win, my photo has to be beyond exceptional. The place where I’m diving now is a known breeding ground for the humpbacks.”

Luke frowned, swallowing some shrimp. “That sounds like it could be dangerous.”

She shook her head. “I don’t have to get that close. Besides, they’re too busy, er … mating.” Her cheeks pinkened. Was she really that innocent? Or was it just first-date embarrassment?

Whoa. He was on a date. How long had it been since he’d gone on a conventional date? Before his residency. Maybe even before med school. There hadn’t been time—or energy—for more than a quick roll in the sack back then. For him or the women residents. Looking back, he realized quick and impersonal had become a habit for him where his sex life was concerned.

It’d been so long since he’d thought about his life before earning his medical doctorate. Those days seemed like a lifetime ago. At eighteen he’d never given a second thought to his decision of becoming a doctor, and nothing would’ve stopped him. Not even the lack of a way to pay for the schooling. He’d joined the Army and never looked back.

His mom, and his sisters and brothers, had coped without him. His sisters were married with kids. Still living in Rankin, they’d visited while he’d stayed with his mom the first week of his leave. And his brothers … at least Matt was in college.

God, he felt old.

Meanwhile, Kristen appeared like a fresh-face coed. Except for her eyes. There was something in her eyes….” How old are you?” he blurted out before thinking better of it.

Her eyes widened and her spine straightened. “Twenty-four. Why?”

What was wrong with him? He’d been so rude. “Sorry. I’m obviously not fit for polite company. You’re here now to get pictures of the humpbacks and then you’ll go back to San Diego?”

“Yep, whether I win or not—and it’s a long-shot—I want to finish my degree. I’ve only got two semesters to go.”

“Degree in what?”

She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. “Accounting.” Opening her eyes, she leaned forward and poked her fork in the air. “I know. I can admit it now. I didn’t even realize I was just playing it safe until …” Her brows drew together and her lips pursed. “Well, I felt like I had to give this a shot. It’s a dream I didn’t even dare to dream before.”

Luke was mesmerized by her expressions. Everything she was feeling showed right there on her face. He couldn’t imagine her ever being fraudulent, but he couldn’t imagine her dealing with anything devastating either. She was too delicate, too … hopeful.

“So, I borrowed some money from my grandmother—she says she would’ve given it to me anyway, but I’m going to pay her interest on the loan—and decided to give myself three months to try for this contest. I dive by day and waitress by night. I’ve always been a photo bug and it would be a dream job to work for Geographic Universe. But I’ve only got a few more weeks left before the submission deadline and I haven’t shot anything extraordinary enough.”

He’d been nodding, absorbed in learning about her until her expression took on a dawning horror. “Oh, God, I’ve been totally talking about myself this whole time. I’m so sorry. So, tell me about you, where are you from? What do you do?” She scooped up a forkful of lobster and watched him expectantly.

Luke felt as if he’d been suddenly shoved onto center stage with a spotlight trained on him, while an audience waited breathlessly for him to perform. But how could he tell this young, carefree woman anything about what his life was like?

BEING A CITY GIRL, Kristen had never actually seen a deer caught in her headlights. But if she had, she imagined the deer would look something like Luke Andrews did right now.

Was he in the Witness Protection Program? An international spy? Maybe he had amnesia and he didn’t remember where he was from or what he did for a living? That would explain the haggard look to his features and the dark circles under his eyes. She hadn’t noticed those until she’d seen him in the daylight earlier. And what about his being awake at two in the morning the past few nights?

Nah. She’d watched too many soap operas in college.

She waited another half a minute—which seemed like a long time with an awkward silence hanging in the air—and then put her fork down and cleared her throat. “Luke?”

At least he met her gaze. “Sorry.” Then he looked back down at his plate and took another bite.

“Is it one of those you-could-tell-me-but-then-you’d-have-to-kill-me kind of jobs?” She tried to smile and make light of it, but he was beginning to scare her. A girl could only equate mysterious with sexy up to a point.

“What?” His gaze flew back up to her and he scowled. “No. It’s just … nothing you’d want to hear about.”

Okay. Kristen jabbed at a shrimp.

And Luke ate.

And she ate.

Every bite or so he would look up at her. She fished around in her mind for a subject to bring up that they could discuss, but why should she? He seemed perfectly content to sit in silence.

For this she’d spent fifty-five dollars on a dress she didn’t need and endured an hour with the curling iron? Maybe he regretted saying yes? Maybe he felt trapped into going out with her for politeness’ sake? How depressing. That probably meant the connection she thought she’d felt between them was only in her imagination.

She jabbed at the last of her lobster, finished off her cola and came to a decision. Pulling cash from her purse, she laid enough on the table to cover the bill plus tip and scooted back in her chair. “Well, it’s been, uh, interesting.”

Just as she stood to go, he blurted out, “I’m a doctor in the Army medical corps, a captain.”

She hesitated. “Look, you don’t have to—”

“I’m here on leave.” He snatched the cash off the table, held it out to her and motioned the waiter over. “And I just didn’t want to ruin a nice dinner talking about it.” Reaching into his back jeans pocket, he pulled out his wallet and handed the waiter a credit card.

Kristen took her cash from him and sat down. “So … you were overseas?”

“Afghanistan.”

Geez. No wonder he didn’t want to talk about it. It explained the things she’d seen in his eyes last night.

The waiter returned with the check and Luke signed it and stuck the card back in his wallet. Then he met her gaze, his expression serious. “I think we passed an ice cream stand on the way here.”

She smiled. “I never say no to ice cream.” She started to get to her feet and he jumped up and pulled her chair out. “Thank you.”

His lips compressed as he gave a slow nod and indicated she should lead the way.

It had grown dark while they’d eaten dinner. Neon signs flashed from the bars, lighting the street with a multitude of colors. Foot and car traffic was heavy, but this was a tourist town and it was whale season, so Sunday nights weren’t any quieter than other nights.

Kristen strolled down the street with him in silence for a while, but now the silence was comfortable. She was curious about his time served in Afghanistan, but she wouldn’t pester him with questions anymore. Everyone dealt with death and dying in their own way.

She should know.

So, he was a captain in the Army. She smiled to herself, suppressed a giggle. Captain Mysterious really was a captain. And he was a doctor. That explained the Heimlich and CPR knowledge.

He stopped at the ice cream stand and bought her a dip of chocolate on a cone, but nothing for himself. As they continued down the sidewalk a dozen or more questions came to her lips, only to be stifled. He’d said he didn’t want to talk about his life, and she should respect that. So she ate her ice cream and waited.

And waited. Okay, this guy took brooding to a whole new level.

“So, tell me—”

“Maybe this—”

They spoke at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Go ahead,” she said at the same time as his apology.

Kristen cringed. As far as first dates went, this one ranked right up there with the seventh-grade Sadie Hawkins dance when she’d asked John Bannister to be her date and he’d said yes and then spent the whole evening dancing with Charlene Lefavre.

Coming to a halt, Luke grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I’ve been around army grunts too long.”

“No, it’s me. I … haven’t dated much.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

At her sudden surprise he squeezed his eyes closed and grimaced again. “I didn’t mean it like—I just meant you’re so pretty—”

“No worries.” She put her hand on his arm. “I didn’t take it the wrong way. You just caught me off guard because you’ve been so quiet, I thought maybe I’d cornered you into coming to dinner when you didn’t really want to.”

“No.” He cupped her jaw in his palm and ran a thumb across her cheek. His eyes blazed into hers. And his touch heated her skin and tingled. She understood the cliché now. She really did feel as if she could fall into the deep chocolate of his eyes.

As if he suddenly realized he was caressing her cheek, he dropped his hand and stepped back.

Kristen blinked and glanced at her surroundings. The street traffic, the ocean waves crashing, the breeze riffling palm leaves all returned. When she looked back at Luke, she got the feeling he was as shocked by his action as she. Had he felt the same shivering magnetism she had? If so, his expression revealed nothing of it.

Searching for something to say, she faced forward and resumed walking. “So, did you book a tour to see the humpbacks yet?

He fell into step beside her. “Uh, no.”

“Oh, you really should while you’re here.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Would he really? She remembered Amy’s crazy suggestion about bringing the mystery man along on Kekoa’s boat for a double date. Should she?

“You want to come out with me while I dive sometime?” Okay, that was possibly the shortest amount of time she’d ever thought something through.

“Um.”

“I mean, I’d have to ask my boat driver first, and he’s been acting weird lately. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and a really good dive partner. Very responsible. Maybe too responsible if there is such a thing. I think it stems from his heritage. He’s supposedly descended from Kahekili II, the king of Maui. His father is a chieftain. I think his family is very strict about respecting their heritage and customs, and who can blame them? It’s such a rich and beautiful history.

“My friend Amy—she works with me at the Tradewinds—she wants to come out on the boat with me sometime and I told her I’d ask Kekoa. I think she has a thing for him—oh, crud, I probably shouldn’t have told you that. What if you come into the Tradewinds and meet her? She’d be so furious with me. Well, she’d probably forgive me if I can get Kekoa to let her on his boat. She’s such a good friend, I want to help her. She’s lived here a few years and she really helped me find my way around when I first got here.

“But Kekoa doesn’t seem to return her attraction. Well, that’s not true. He seems attracted, but he won’t act on it.” She frowned. “It sounds like a soap opera, doesn’t it?”

They’d reached the beach across from their condos and Luke came to a stop beside the bike rack. Kristen groaned and covered her face with her hands. “I did it again. I’ve talked your ear off.”

“I don’t mind,” he said softly.

She peeked between her fingers and looked up at him. One side of his mouth was curled up. Wow, an almost smile.

She glanced at the ocean. “You want to walk along the beach?”

His gaze followed hers down to the surf. “Even though there’s no moon to worship tonight?”

She jerked her gaze to his face, but saw no ridicule there. Only a hint of a smile on his mouth and in his eyes.

“Guess I’ll be forced to act like a normal person.” With a grin, she bent to unbuckle and slip off her heels, rebuckling them around the bike rack.

He stooped to yank off his well-worn Nikes and then plopped them on the concrete beside hers. The socks followed. He’d barely set his foot down when she took his hand and tugged him down the grassy slope into the sand and all the way to the edge of the surf.

“Mmm,” she moaned. “The sand feels wonderful squishing between your toes.” Waves surged around her ankles. She turned to face him. He was staring at her. Hard. Piercing.

He didn’t move, but she could feel something between them, pulling her to him. Something raw. As primordial as the ancient volcanoes.

The instinct was strong to step close, cup his jaw tight in her hands and kiss him. But common sense kept her immobile. She barely knew this guy. How could she be so rash? There was living life to the fullest, and then there was just plain reckless. She swallowed, frozen in indecision.

And the moment passed. He dropped her hand and glanced away, across the dark ocean and then over his shoulder down the coast, and stuck his hands in his pockets. He took one step away, splashing through the waves.

Drawing in a deep breath, she followed, glancing up at the millions of stars so clear in the sky. They seemed so close, she felt as if she could just reach up and grab one. She felt again that joy of just being alive. How very lucky she was to be on the earth to taste and smell and see and touch all the beautiful things around her.

After she’d walked beside him for a hundred yards or so in the surf, foam tickling her ankles, she couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind. “You’re lucky to have a condo with a balcony facing the ocean,” she said.

“It’s not my condo. It belongs to a buddy of mine.”

“Wow. Everyone should have buddies like that.”

He shrugged. “He thinks I …”

When he didn’t continue, she glanced over and studied him. His jaw hitched to the left just a fraction. He’d done that last night when he seemed to be wrestling with himself over something.

“I haven’t been sleeping very well lately.”

That did explain his presence on the beach at 2:00 a.m. Why did she suspect that was an understatement? “Has staying on a picturesque tropical island helped?”

He grimaced. “Not so far.”

Her mind was churning with ideas. “How long do you have before you go back?”

“Three weeks.”

“What all have you tried?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

She clasped his arm and came to a halt. “I assume you’ve already talked to a psychotherapist, but, what about massage therapy? Aromatherapy? Hypnosis? Um … What else … Oh! Yoga!”

He got that deer in the headlights look again. “I—I work out.”

“Or what about hiking? Have you been to see the Alelele Falls? They’re my favor—” She noticed his hardened expression. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m not some head case you have to fix.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean—”

His eyes narrowed. “Did John put you up to this?”

“John?”

He stared at her a moment longer and then turned away. “Never mind,” he said over his shoulder and headed back in the direction they’d come from. “Guess I can add paranoid to my list of symptoms,” he muttered under his breath.

What had she done? Her stomach sank like her diving weight belt. Kristen jogged to catch up to him. “Luke.” She caught his arm again. “I’m so sorry I butted in. I tend to get overenthusiastic sometimes. It’s a bad habit of mine.”

He let her stop him and turned to face her, his eyes closed, his expression pained. “No.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “I should be the one apologizing. I was right the first time. I’m just not good company right now. Forgive me, Kristen. It’s not you, okay?”

“Hey, I know things started out kind of rocky, but—”

“Have a great time the rest of your stay here, and good luck winning that contest.”

“Luke, please.”

“I’ll walk you back to our building.” He put his hand at the small of her back and gestured for her to accompany him.

Reluctantly, Kristen headed toward the condo. She tightened her lips, determined not to utter one more word to the stupid man.

No. He wasn’t stupid. It was her fault. She’d jumped in as usual and blabbered on without thinking. It was just something about coming so close to death that made her not want to waste time on small talk and second-guessing herself. She’d tried, but …

Now she’d ruined it with him. The best she could hope for was that it wouldn’t be awkward to run into him around the condominium. But it’s not as if they’d had any real future together. A hot vacation fling for a few weeks had been the most it ever could’ve been. And even that was a glass-half-full assumption.

Oh, but what a fling it might have been.