Читать книгу Her Seal Protector - Jillian Burns - Страница 14

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@nerdybankanalyst

Wanted to kiss the ground at LaGuardia yesterday. Love getting back to my job and my apartment. BTW #USmilitaryrocks

IN SOME WAYS, her time in the Paraguayan jungle seemed like a dream.

Well, more like a nightmare.

Except for the last night.

Chin propped on her palm, Gabby stared at the report on her computer screen. Her supervisor wanted this data analysis done as soon as possible, but she’d been staring at the same column of numbers for more than half an hour. Which was not a good sign for her first day back.

But her mind kept drifting. Remembering...

How she’d had to squint at the bright sun reflecting off the river as she and Clay broke through the dense foliage that morning. How the water had sprayed a fine mist on her face as a thunderous helicopter chopped through the air. How Clay’s hand clapping her shoulder had reassured her as he snapped a harness around her chest and then gave the thumbs-up signal to the men waiting to haul her up.

Clay.

Once the helicopter landed at the embassy, a nurse had tried to whisk her away before she could tell him goodbye. He’d been talking to one of the other soldiers and hadn’t even glanced in her direction.

All she could think was that she’d never see him again.

Setting her jaw, she’d wrenched from the nurse, ran to him and thrown her arms around him. He’d held his arms out away from his sides as if he had no idea how to handle such a display of emotion. But despite his stiff reserve, she’d buried her nose in his strong chest, and then looked up into light brown eyes that glinted with wariness.

She’d dropped her arms and stepped back from him with a smile, trying not to burst into tears. “You were phenomenal.”

“Just a grunt doing his job, ma’am,” he’d said with a solemn nod.

He’d been so much more to her. But she hadn’t said that. “Well. Thank you, anyway.”

He’d nodded again. “You take care, now.” Then he’d turned and strode away, back to the helicopter. She’d watched as he climbed in and the chopper lifted off and flew away.

He hadn’t looked back.

“How is it being back at work?” James appeared at her cubicle.

Gabby jumped, her heart racing. “James,” she gulped his name. “You scared me.”

He frowned, looking hurt and concerned at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s not your fault. I’m jumpy lately.”

“Me, too. Ever since...” He gestured vaguely to the room. “You know.”

Gabby nodded. At her boss’s insistence, she’d spent two weeks recovering with her parents in Texas before New York Corporate Bank Inc. allowed her to return to work. But the time off hadn’t really helped. She still had nightmares. Insomnia. Depression.

Her family was worried, but they didn’t understand. Didn’t know what to do for her, or how to act. She’d found herself resenting their normalcy. Their ability to go about their everyday lives while she—she kept seeing Mr. V with blood gushing out of his head.

She’d been told they’d recovered his body. There was a funeral in New York, but Gabby had still been in Texas. Half of her had wanted to attend the service. The other half had worried that she would completely lose it and embarrass herself. She just couldn’t believe he was dead. Gone forever.

And she’d come so close to meeting the same end.

James stepped into her cubicle and drummed his fingers on her desk. “It might help to talk about it. Want to get some lunch?”

No, she didn’t. “I brought mine from home.” She pointed at the brown paper bag sitting beside the printout of reports she’d planned to work on while she ate. “I’m weeks behind.”

“Yeah, sure. I understand.” James stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. “I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted. Before we were rescued, I mean.” He winced and raised devastated eyes to hers.

“It’s okay.” She reached up and patted his upper arm. “It was a horrible ordeal. And no one really knows how they’ll react under such circumstances.”

Except, a small voice crept into her thoughts, Clay would never have acted that way. He had protected her, reassured her and, ultimately, saved them. Of course, he was a soldier. He’d been trained to handle unspeakable violence and mind-numbing terror. But even so, there’d been something about the man. An indefinable quality that no training could give.

“I can’t sleep,” James said quietly. “And when I do sleep I have nightmares.”

“Me, too, sometimes.”

“The counselor says it’s PTSD.”

She nodded. James did look thinner. Haggard, with dark circles under his eyes. Did she look as bad? What had happened to her resolve that night in the jungle to take risks and live life to the fullest? Back in the real world, it wasn’t so easy.

James was still staring at the floor, picking at a fingernail. “Do you feel like sometimes everyone is looking at you? And like you just want to scream at them?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. But finally, someone who understood. If she was to get back some semblance of a normal life she had to start somewhere, right? She got to her feet and stuck her lunch sack in her file cabinet drawer. “I changed my mind. Let’s grab some hot dogs and eat at the park.”

James’s head snapped up and he smiled. “That’d be great.”