Читать книгу A Holiday To Remember - Jillian Hart - Страница 8

Debra watched Ben close the door against the cascade of snow that had tumbled in with him. Her half brother. She still couldn’t get over it.

“Whew,” he said, unwrapping the muffler from around his throat. “It’s really starting to come down out there. Mia, it’s good to see you again. You’re looking very Christmassy.”

“It’s my new sweater. See? It has real bells on it.” The girl jumped up and down until the tiny bells sewn into the sweater tinkled cheerfully. “I’m so glad you came back!”

“I wouldn’t miss you and your mom’s visit for the world.” Ben had a kind look to him, a down-to-earth quality that it was hard not to like.

And she’d tried, Debra thought. Big-time. She didn’t want to like him. She still didn’t want to like him, but he had a friendly smile that was hard not to return. A few months ago, he’d come out to Maryland to meet them. While it had gone fairly well, she still wasn’t ready to welcome him with open arms. She didn’t know him. She didn’t know if his claim to the family was a good, positive thing, or if it would turn out to be something they all regretted. You couldn’t see a person’s true motives in one meeting and a few phone calls.

Sure, call her wary, but she felt that, unlike other members of her family, Ben needed to prove himself a good man before she accepted him. She was determined to keep her defenses up.

“Debra.” He nodded once in greeting, glancing over the top of Mia’s brown hair. He looked a little stiff, too, and a little wary.

She knew just how he felt. There was no telling where this would go. Meeting one another had been one thing, but to try to establish a relationship? That involved risk; someone—especially Mia—could get hurt.

“I’m glad you made it here safe,” Ben was saying. “The roads are tough-going.”

“Yes, they often are this time of year.” She heard the stilted sounding words come out of her mouth and she couldn’t seem to think of anything more friendly to say.

But she was strikingly aware of Jonah and her emotions seemed to warm for him as he snapped the binder shut and turned away with it, walking with that uneven gait that made her care. Why him? And why for him, when she couldn’t let herself warm up her frosty feelings toward her half brother? She didn’t like this at all. She was accustomed to being very in control of her emotions.

“Sorry I wasn’t here to meet you two.” Ben hung his coat up on a rack by the door. “Thank you for waiting for me.”

It was Mia who jumped in with an answer. “Like we’d come all this way to not wait? So, when do I get to meet my cousin, Olivia? And baby Joseph? Now?”

Ben chuckled, his gaze softening with kindness; it was hard not to like someone who was good with her daughter. “Soon, I promise. They’re home with Leah. You know, Olivia can’t wait to meet you, too. Debra, Leah is especially excited to meet you both. We were hoping you’d come to the tree-lighting ceremony with us tonight.”

Mia jumped in. “What tree lighting? Is it a special ceremony?”

“Yep. It’s a town tradition over at the mayor’s mansion.” Ben’s chuckle of amusement at Mia’s enthusiasm was nothing but gentle.

Debra could already feel the ties pulling at her like invisible strings of obligation. She’d learned that people were unknown quantities. The last thing she wanted was for Mia to get hurt. To get her hopes up, as she always did, only to be crushed if this didn’t work out. The Cavanaugh family might not want real ties; maybe this invitation to town was about getting their curiosity satisfied. Who knew what the future held? Mia’s heart could be broken.

To make matters worse, she couldn’t seem to concentrate on the conversation. Jonah was reshelving the binder, moving with that disciplined control of his. A lightbulb went on. He had the posture and manner of an elite soldier, that’s what he reminded her of, she realized. Although she couldn’t reconcile that with this man who made such beautiful, intricate furniture.

She realized Mia was staring at her again, as if expecting an answer. “Oh, the tree lighting. What time is that happening?”

“At eight o’clock sharp.” Ben strode toward her. “It’s a big event here. There’ll be music and the church choir will be singing carols. Mia, I’ve heard rumors there might even be a visit from old Saint Nick. There will be bags of candy for the kids, prizes and a church raffle. It’s a good, family-friendly event. We’ve all been looking forward to it. Leah made reservations for all of us at the Hamilton Hotel’s restaurant beforehand.”

“It sounds lovely.” What else could she say? She knew it was right when Ben grinned. He had a smile that was a little ghost of her mother’s—their mother’s, would she ever get used to that? And it made Debra sad in more ways than she could count.

Her throat felt tight as she said, “I look forward to meeting your wife. Leah sent us the nicest letter just last week. I hope she received my response.”

“It came in yesterday’s mail.”

The contents of Leah’s letter had been nothing earthshaking. It was simply a very nice and inviting letter telling more about the extended Cavanaugh family, the town, its history and the best places for them to stay. “We have a room at the Peachtree Bed and Breakfast on her recommendation. It’s a cozy inn, just as she promised.”

“I’m glad it helped out.” His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to check the screen. “Oh, speaking of the wife. It’s her. Excuse me, won’t you?”

“Certainly.” Debra stepped away to give him privacy and Mia danced up to her, lit with excitement.

“I’ve never been to a real tree lighting before. Uncle Ben knows I don’t believe in Santa Claus, right? I mean, that’s for little kids.”

“It’s just for fun, you know that.” Debra had grown up in a family where Santa Claus was a secular icon and therefore not part of her childhood, but she didn’t feel as strongly on the subject as her mother had. Millie had been a very strict Christian and disciplinarian. Debra smoothed back a lock of Mia’s baby-fine hair out of her eyes, glad that so far things were going well.

Then a blur of movement at the edge of her vision caught her attention.

Jonah. He was the reason that she’d been distracted throughout her conversation with Ben. The big man had hunkered down to his work carefully sanding a portion of the crib. Debra couldn’t help noticing how his big artist’s hands expertly worked the small square of roughened paper over the delicate scrollwork, she supposed to get it exactly right.

She didn’t know him, but what she did know about the man she liked very much. He was so disciplined and exacting. He obviously cared about his work. It must take a lot of the patience and dedication to build something so intricate and perfect.

She admired that kind of stick-to-it-ness. The muscle-bound man looked out of his element kneeling in front of the delicate crib. She never would have pictured him as a minister’s son.

The man was an interesting contradiction; maybe that’s why she kept wondering about him. Why her eyes kept finding him. Why he stayed at the edges of her mind. He seemed different from most men she knew. In the corporate world, she dealt with a lot of power-hungry men, men concerned with their image, wearing the right suit, driving the right car and having the right title beneath the name on their business cards.

Men like that, she deeply suspected, were like Mia’s father. Men who made promises they couldn’t keep, weren’t man enough to keep.

Jonah looked like a man who knew how to keep his promises and honor his commitments. Not that she was seriously considering even trying to date again. No, it wouldn’t be good for Mia to get attached to a man who decided, in the end, to leave.

Debra pushed that old sadness out of her heart and smoothed the last of the damp remains of snowflakes from her daughter’s hair.

“Mom,” Mia leaned in to whisper. “Isn’t Uncle Ben the greatest?”

“He sure seems to be.” Please let him be, she wished. Not that she was religious anymore, but if she were to pray, she would have one simple request. Please, let this work out. Don’t let Mia get hurt.

“Mom. We get to go to the dinner at the hotel tonight, too, right?”

“Of course, kid. If it’s what you want.”

“Uh, ye-ah!” Mia grabbed Debra’s hand and held on tight, the way she used to do when she was a little girl. There was so much brightness in her smile and so much hope in her spirit that it just shone right out of her. “Isn’t this the greatest day ever?”

“Well, it certainly has been a very good one.”

“Uh-huh! Remember how we never thought we’d get over being so sad when Grandmother Millie died? I’ve been praying and praying ever since. And look what happened. God found us more family to love.”

Mia’s hopes were far too high. They had both taken her mother’s death hard, each in her own way. Mia was only now just starting to come out of the grief.

Debra felt a horrible sinking feeling in her chest. What could she do to protect her daughter? She didn’t have a single idea. Not that she believed a prayer made much difference, but if it could, she hoped hers had risen on angel’s wings. What were the chances of all this with Ben coming out all right?

They had talked about that on the drive here to Virginia. Debra had done her best to try to be sensible and prepare Mia for the truth of relationships. You just couldn’t know how people were going to decide to treat you.

There was Jonah, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Or was that her imagination?

When she turned toward him, he was absorbed in his work. Acting as if he didn’t know she was on the same planet, much less in the same room.

Fine, it was her imagination, after all.

“Leah says hi and welcome,” Ben said as he pocketed his phone. “You are coming to our precelebration dinner, right?”

“Right!” Mia jumped in with a high-pitched answer. “Cousin Olivia’s coming, too, right? And baby Joseph?”

Ben’s chuckle of delight was charming. “Absolutely. Olivia’s talked about nothing else for days. And talked and talked. Girls,” he said, shaking his head in friendly amusement. “If it wasn’t for baby Joseph, I’d be really outnumbered.”

“You don’t look like you’re suffering much,” Debra commented, unable to keep from sharing a smile with her half brother.

“No complaint here. I’ve got more blessings than I can count. Family, that’s what’s important.” He shot a look over to the workman crouching strategically behind the crib. “I keep telling Jonah that, but to no avail. He’s still stubbornly single. I keep hoping to change that.”

“He doesn’t even have a girlfriend?” Mia perked up at that bit of news, twisting toward the woodworker to study him intently. “Is that true, Jonah?”

“Yep, it’s true.” He grinned over the top of the crib. “I’m too busy to have a girlfriend. I keep telling your uncle Ben that, but does it look like he listens?”

“No.” Mia answered. “How can you be too busy to have a girlfriend?”

“Look at me, working through lunch. Next thing I know, I’m working away and I look up and it’s way past dinnertime.”

“That’s just like my mom.” Mia wrinkled her nose. “She’s always at the office. And when she isn’t, do you know where she is?”

Debra could feel Jonah’s gaze on her. And Ben’s, too. She felt her chin shoot up and all her defenses, too. It wasn’t easy being a single parent, but she was doing her absolute best.

The big man on bended knee reached for a fresh sheet of sandpaper. “If your mom’s anything like me, she probably brings work home.”

“That’s it exactly,” Mia confirmed.

“I don’t think it’s much of a secret why she works so hard.”

“It isn’t?” Mia took a step toward him, transfixed.

Deb realized that’s how she felt, too.

“Nope, it’s easy to see.” Jonah’s baritone sliced right through her every defense. “She works that hard for you. Isn’t that right, Debra?”

“Y-yeah.” With her shields down, she felt the impact of his words with her unprotected heart. She’d walked around with those shields up for so long, she felt way too exposed. The odd thing was, she also felt touched that this man she’d only just met understood her. “That’s right, Jonah.”

Their gazes met. No one had ever seen her truth so clearly.

“Seems that we have a lot in common, Debra.” Ben, who’d been quietly watching them, stepped forward, into the light. “We’re more alike than either one of us guessed.”

Her throat ached with emotion. “Maybe we are.”

“So, Jonah.” Mia, irrepressible Mia, focused her big innocent eyes on the woodworker. Again. “Don’t you want a family?”

Here we go again. Deb mentally groaned. What was she going to do about her child? The girl cared about everyone. That wasn’t a bad thing in itself, of course, but all anyone had to do was to look at poor Jonah, blushing a bit as he debated exactly how to answer, to see that he needed rescuing. “What was I just saying to you, kiddo?”

“Oh, that I’m not supposed to, uh, pry?” She shrugged a lock of silken curls behind her shoulder. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry, Jonah. Can you forgive me for prying?”

“Sure I can, little lady.” Jonah gave a wink, maybe to show there were no hard feelings.

He was a patient man and kind to her daughter. Debra couldn’t help seeing more to like in him. “Maybe it’s time to drag you out of here.”

“Mo-om.” Mia gave an impatient but indulgent sigh, as if to say it was hard raising a parent. “Uncle Ben just got here and everything, and besides, I still want to know about Jonah. So, can I pry just a little more?”

Debra bit her lip to keep from smiling and noticed both men in the background trying to do the same. And failing. Some days it was truly hard not to chuckle 24-7 when Mia was around. “She’s so like our mother, Ben. I know you have to be wondering about Mom. Well, she and Mia were so alike. Hardly different at all.”

Ben’s eyes silvered even as his smile broadened. Their mother’s smile. There it was again. “Then I know I would have loved her.”

Debra swallowed hard, determined to keep her emotions well controlled, just as emotions ought to be. “Mia, instead of peppering Jonah with personal questions, you might want to be gathering up all your favorite stories about Grandmother Millie to tell your uncle Ben this evening at dinner.”

“That’ll take a long time. I’ve got a lot of stories.”

Ben cleared his throat. “I’ll look forward to hearing them.”

Which was just the opportunity she was looking for—a chance to leave. Debra’s chest felt tight. So many painful emotions were beating right along with her heart and she still felt vulnerable. Her defenses were down. Way down. This wasn’t how she was used to feeling. She took a step backward. “Mia and I will meet you at the hotel’s dining room, then, and we’ll bring our best stories of Mom with us.”

“I’d like that.” Ben swallowed hard, emotions playing on his face.

This had to be hard for him, too, she realized. That she’d never considered his end of things before surprised her now. It just went to show how off-center she’d been, how jumbled up, wrestling with grief over their mom’s loss and so many past issues being dug up. Ben seemed like a strong, assured man, but maybe he had the same worries. How would this work out in the long run? Would they find a way to bond? Or would, in the end, this attempt to get to know one another not work out?

Ben had taken the first risky steps. Maybe she could make one, too. “I’m so glad you invited us to visit. I look forward to getting to know my older brother better.”

He dipped his chin in thanks and his throat worked. He said nothing, but Debra knew she’d done the right thing. While she didn’t know how this would all turn out, she suddenly wanted it to work out, not just for Mia, but for herself. Mia was right. They’d lost Mom and now it seemed they were being given a chance for more family to love.

Would this help to heal the pain in her own life? Debra had to wonder. Either way, she had to make sure she did her part in all this, for Mia’s sake. She could see beyond the girl’s excitement and hope right down to the pain she carried inside. The pain of her grandmother’s loss. Maybe this would help heal that, too.

“Tonight, then.” Debra nodded to her brother, taking another step back, and there was Jonah, once again, within her sight. “You’ll let me know about the furniture? I imagine you’ll need a deposit or you’ll have an invoice or something to that effect?”

“Ben has your number. I’ll have him get ahold of you.” The carpenter looked up from his work, frozen in motion. “I’ll write up an invoice so you’ll know the cost of things. I’ll draw up some plans, just to make sure Miss Mia gets exactly what she wants. Would you like that, little lady?”

“Oh, yes!”

Debra knew one thing—it was safer to take another step backward and another until she was at the door and far from Jonah. “Come now, Mia. We need to get ready for tonight and I’m sure your uncle and Mr. Fraser want to get back to their work.”

“But Mom, I’ve got the best idea.” Mia clasped her hands together. “Uncle Ben, would it be all right if Jonah came with us tonight?”

Ben gave her a friendly wink. “You don’t think I’ve already tried that? I asked him and he said no.”

To Debra’s horror, Mia bounded up to Jonah. “You’ll come, right? If you do, we’ll have the greatest time. Plus, my mom will have someone to talk to. She really needs that.”

What? Debra’s jaw dropped. What had her daughter just said?

If Jonah was uncomfortable before, he looked embarrassed now. A blush swept across his stony face, but his eyes when he answered looked infinitely sad. “Sorry, Mia. I have to say no.”

“But my mom—”

“Mia.” Debra hoped she sounded unaffected as she held out a hand for her daughter, but that wasn’t how she felt at all. Mortified, yes. Embarrassed, absolutely. And surprisingly intrigued. But that wasn’t a feeling she wanted to examine too closely. “Don’t traumatize poor Mr. Fraser any more. I’m sure he has better things to do than to be forced to talk with me through dinner.”

“But Mom—”

“No buts.” She smiled when her daughter clomped closer and took her hand, such a good girl at heart. “We should have time to stop by that bookstore you saw on our way back to the Inn.”

“Okay.” Mia didn’t look satisfied, but she apparently was willing to retreat a little bit for the moment. “’Bye, Uncle Ben and Jonah. See you later!”

The men called out their goodbyes and Debra gave them one last look before she headed outdoors. The chill of the December afternoon wrapped around her, but her face, by contrast, felt shockingly hot. As the door snapped shut and Mia hopped cheerfully through the snow to the SUV, Debra caught one last sight of Jonah, head bowed and kneeling before the cradle in that soft gray fall of light, already back to work.

She felt vulnerable, oddly open at heart, and she didn’t know why. Debra dug out her keys, resolved to put the man out of her thoughts and followed her daughter through the falling snow.

Inside the warm building kneeling before the crib, Jonah kept his head bowed over his work. But was he paying attention to what he was doing? No. He couldn’t seem to keep his gaze from the sight of Debra Cunningham Watson sweeping the mantle of snow off the windshield of her fancy vehicle.

“What do you think of that?” Ben asked with a smile in his voice.

Jonah didn’t look at him, but swung his attention back to his work. Ben didn’t sound as anxious as he had earlier. No, he sounded almost…amused. “Looks like you’ve got a real nice sister and niece.”

“I think so, too.” Ben gave a chuckle as he nodded toward the window. “Maybe you should come along tonight. I might need some help.”

So that’s what this was about. Jonah set down the square of sandpaper and straightened up. “Ben, don’t. You already know my answer.”

“True, but you can’t blame me for trying again. I know you, Jonah. Before you went off to right the world’s wrongs, you always used to talk about wanting a wife one day. A family.”

Jonah grimaced inside, remembering how idealistic he’d once been. “I was just out of boot. What did I know? I was young then.”

“Well. You went off, saved the world just like you wanted to. Now it’s time to work on those other dreams.”

“Not so easy, bud.” Jonah tried to act like it was no big deal, but his friend’s words made him bleed from a wound so deep, there was no measure of it. Ben had no idea what he’d said. Jonah cleared his throat, determined to make the best of it. After all, he had nothing to complain about, not really. Not when he was alive and well unlike—He stopped that thought. “These days, I’m a busy man and getting busier by the minute. I just got a huge order from that classy sister of yours. I’m making a bedroom set for your niece.”

“So that’s what all that invoice talk was about.”

“You think I’m interested in her?”

“It’s the Christmas season.” Ben seemed to dodge the question. “You never miss the tree lighting so you’ll be there anyway. You might as well come along with us tonight. Make an evening of it.”

“That’s your family time. I won’t intrude on that.”

“You’re practically part of the family.” Ben gestured to the window. “Besides, I’m not the only one who would like you to come along.”

There was Mia, sitting in the passenger seat, her hands clasped tightly together. Their gazes met and her eyes widened. There was no mistaking the single word she was saying. “Please, please, please, please.”

Ben chuckled. “I think she’s serious.”

“Sure looks like it.” Okay, so he was a little tempted to change his mind.

“You and Debra seemed to get along pretty well,” Ben said.

Debra. She wasn’t watching him as she backed her top-of-the-line SUV out of the parking spot. Hard to tell exactly what she thought of him, but he knew one thing. She was out of his league. Which was too bad. He liked her—then a powerful wave of old guilt crashed through him. He had no right to take that thought any further.

“Well, buddy, at least think about coming with us. Olivia will be disappointed, too. You don’t want to let down two little girls now, do you?”

“When you put it like that, you know I can’t.”

“I know.” Ben grinned and because his business cell phone chose that moment to ring, he answered it.

Debra’s SUV pulled into traffic and out of his sight, but the woman seemed to linger in his thoughts. Grimly, he went back to work, ignoring the sting of an emotion he would not admit or give name to.