Читать книгу Her Cowboy Till Christmas - Jill Kemerer - Страница 15

One question had been gnawing at him since finding Ryder on his porch last night. Which of them had been born first?

Mason strode beside Ryder down the path to the stables. Thankfully, Eden had offered to watch Noah for him. He’d briefly filled her in on the situation when he dropped Noah off after putting away the groceries. Eden, Mia’s younger sister by three years, still lived with his in-laws. Bill and Joanna had gone Christmas shopping, allowing Mason to avoid having the twin conversation with them. They wouldn’t be put off for long, however.

“Okay, now that you’re here,” Mason said, “I have a burning question.”

“Shoot.”

“When were you born? Which one of us is older?”

Ryder barked out a laugh. “I’ve been wondering the same thing. One of us is the big brother, and one is the baby. It’s time we found out.”

“My birth certificate says I was born at 5:43 a.m.”

Ryder grimaced. “Mine says 5:54 a.m.”

“I guess that means you’re my little brother.” Mason slapped him on the back. “By eleven minutes.”

“And I guess it means you’ll be rubbing it in forever.”

“I guess it does.” It didn’t seem quite as bizarre to think of the man beside him as his brother anymore. He hitched his chin toward the stables. “You sure you want to ride?”

“I’d love to. I miss it,” Ryder said. “I grew up on a sheep ranch in southern Montana.”

“Sheep, huh?” Resentment between sheep ranchers and cattle ranchers had been simmering since the West had been settled. Both fought for grazing land, and both begrudged each other for it. Pops had never had a good thing to say about sheep ranchers.

He took a closer look at Ryder. His clothes were typical Western wear, but they were high quality, as were his expensive boots and hat. “You aren’t still ranching?”

“No.” He matched Mason’s strides under the brilliant blue sky. “My grandparents got out of it when I was eleven. We moved closer to the city because Granddad needed medical care. Cancer took him a few years later.”

Cancer. How he hated the disease that had stolen Mia from him. “Pops inherited this land along with the cow–calf operation and passed it down to me. Are you still living in Montana?”

“No. Moved out to California for college. I’m in the Los Angeles area. For now.”

They reached the stables and Mason slid open the door. Dim light and floating dust motes greeted them as he led the way to the tack room. After hauling gear out, they saddled two quarter horses.

“Feels good to be out in the wide open again. It’s been a long time.” Ryder patted the neck of Rookie, one of Mason’s favorite horses, as they rode toward the frozen-over creek. “I was torn about coming over, but this makes it worth it.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about last night.” Mason hadn’t put much thought into how Ryder might be handling having a twin. When had he gotten so self-absorbed? “It was a shock.”

“For me, too. Finding out about you...well... Life has been chaotic lately.” Ryder shrugged and nudged Rookie forward. Mason, riding Bolt, fell in beside him. “I’m glad you called this morning.”

Mason was, too. And he knew all about chaos. Change had never been easy for him, and the past couple of years had been downright terrible. Noah had been the only thing worth waking up for besides the ranch. Mason would keep it running, even if it got to the point where he had to thin the herd further or let go of his extra ranch hands. He’d give this land to Noah someday.

“What do you do in LA?”

“I’m a CPA, and I do financial planning, as well.” Ryder glanced around, taking in the hills. “Sometimes I miss this—outdoor living. My girls would love it out here.”

“Twins, right? How old did you say they were?”

“Three and a half.”

“Huh.” That was a weird coincidence. “Noah is, too. When’s their birthday?”

“March 24.”

“Whoa-ho-ho.” Mason shifted in his saddle as Ryder slowed Rookie. “That’s Noah’s birthday.”

His eyes widened. “You mean they were born on the same day?”

“Just like we were.” It seemed impossible. Yet he looked at his spitting image riding next to him and realized it was possible. Anything was, really. Suddenly, Mason wanted to know everything about this man. “I had appendicitis in the third grade.”

“Me, too. January. Right after Christmas. I was glad to miss school.”

“Same here!” A sense of wonder swirled in his mind. The man who looked just like him shared more than his appearance. They’d had kids on the same date, illnesses at the same time. “We shared a womb.”

Ryder’s mouth opened. He closed it without saying a word. Then he said, “I guess we did.”

“Earlier someone stopped me at the grocery store and asked me if I ever sensed I had a twin. I can’t say I did. Did you?” Actually, several people had stopped him earlier, and he’d practically sprinted out of there. Part of him was surprised he hadn’t seen a line of cars in his drive when he got home.

“No, I had no idea I had a twin.”

For the next thirty minutes, they rode along the creek and grilled each other about their childhoods. Laughter flowed freely, and more than once Mason caught Ryder inspecting him as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes. Neither volunteered information about the mothers of their children, though. He rarely talked about Mia outside of his Tuesday night meetings with Gabby and Eden, and Ryder had mentioned a divorce, so it must be a sore subject.

“Why’d they do it? Why keep us apart?” As they headed back to the stables, Mason hoped Ryder had more insight than he did. The deception bothered him. His memories of Ma and Pops didn’t mesh with the reality saddled up next to him.

How could they have kept a brother from him? And why?

Ryder stared off into the distance. “I keep asking myself the same thing. I wish I knew. I can’t ask my grandparents. They’re long gone. I haven’t been back to my hometown since I was a kid.”

“Someone must have known. How did we just now learn about each other? If anyone around here knew, I’d have found out long ago. Secrets are spilled on a regular basis in these parts.”

Ryder’s jaw shifted. “To be frank with you, I haven’t asked myself too many questions because I know I won’t like the answers. It was enough to come out here and meet you.”

A gust of wind chilled Mason.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” Ryder glanced his way. “I know this is sudden, but I’d like to come back. I have the last two weeks of December off. Would it bother you if I brought my girls out here to meet you?”

He usually resisted last-minute plans, but he wanted to meet his nieces.

I have nieces. With all the information he’d been trying to process, it hadn’t sunk in that he was an uncle. The thought warmed his heart.

“I’d like that. Stay here with the girls. And why don’t you have supper with me and Noah tonight? I gave him the condensed version of you earlier. Be prepared for a lot of questions.”

“Okay.”

“I know I wasn’t the welcome wagon yesterday, but...having a brother is pretty cool.”

“Maybe there’s a simple explanation for why we never knew about each other.” Ryder’s smile lit his eyes. “I guess we have Brittany to thank for finding each other.”

“I guess we do,” he said quietly. Ryder had a point. As much as Mason wanted to leave the past in the past, maybe he should stop in at Nan’s tomorrow before Brittany left and thank her for introducing them.

It wouldn’t mean anything had changed. It was simply the right thing to do.

But the image of her smiling face as she pushed Noah on the tire swing earlier made him pause. Maybe he should leave well enough alone. It was safer to hang on to a decade-old grudge than to let Brittany’s sunshine into his life again.

After Mia’s death, he’d made a promise to himself. There could be no one else. He’d already had the best.

I’ll never let you go, Mia.

Brittany tapped her pen against the blank spiral notebook page. Fifteen minutes of brainstorming had yielded no results.

Nan had lived in this house ever since she’d gotten married at eighteen. After two days here, Brittany wasn’t sure Nan would be able to live on her own for much longer.

But what could she do about it?

At meals, Nan picked at her food. She most likely skipped eating altogether when left to her own devices. Her bony frame could use more nourishment.

Also, from the smell of it, Nan wasn’t bathing regularly. She used to shower first thing in the morning. When Brittany suggested she take a shower, Nan claimed she’d washed up yesterday, which was not true. How long had it been since she’d shampooed her hair?

Other things nagged at her, as well. The house was tidy, but dust covered every surface, and the floors hadn’t seen a mop in a long time. Yesterday afternoon, Brittany had scrubbed the house, but how long would it last?

She stretched her arms over her head. Nan was resting in her room. The Sunday service had tuckered her out.

After church, Gretchen Sable, a sweet older lady who was friends with Nan, had pulled Brittany aside, given her a paper with her number on it, patted her hand and told her to call her anytime.

At least the church was the same as it had been a decade ago. Sure, the old blue carpet had been replaced, but familiar worship songs had filled the air and the message of grace had not fallen on deaf ears. It reminded Brittany of her church back home.

That was another thing to thank her grandmother for—Nan was the one who’d told her about Jesus and encouraged her to pray.

The last time she’d attended a Sunday service here with Nan, she’d been eighteen and full of excitement about the future. Now? She hadn’t fulfilled her dreams. They’d never included scrimping to pay bills, teaching only a handful of classes and renting a run-down matchbox of an apartment.

Success had eluded her in every area.

The sharp pang of discouragement tore through her chest. Had her entire adult life been a waste? Had she made the wrong choices?

Her mother certainly thought so and wasn’t afraid to say it. As for Brittany’s father, she had his last name, but he had never been part of her life. Now that Mom was busy traveling as a corporate consultant, Brittany rarely talked to her, either. It wasn’t as if she cared what the woman thought anymore. God saw Brittany’s heart and didn’t judge her by her lack of progress. So why was she judging herself so harshly?

She tossed down the pen and massaged her temples. She was supposed to be coming up with solutions for Nan’s care, not wallowing in some strange what-had-she-done-with-her-life crisis.

The sound of a vehicle coming up the drive broke her concentration. She peeked out the window and recognized Mason’s truck. Why was he here? Whatever the reason, her pulse sped at the thought of seeing him again.

She put her coat on and shoved her feet into her boots to meet him on the porch. The air was crisp and the frozen countryside beautiful. He strode up tall, sure of himself. The cowboy boots, hat and jeans fit him like a glove. Her stomach did a pirouette. She looked for signs of Noah, but the boy wasn’t with him. Too bad. He was a cutie.

His eyes weren’t as hard and judgmental today. A girl could get lost in those depths.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“I’d ask you inside, but Nan is sleeping right now.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Actually, I wanted to speak with you, too.”

“If this is about what happened way back when...” His expression grew wary.

“No.” She waved him off. “It’s been a long time. We’ve both moved on with our lives.” She fought for a chipper tone. Talking to Mason used to be easy—from the day she’d met him until the day she’d left. This awkwardness felt wrong—understandable, but wrong. “I wanted to talk to you about Nan. About how she’s doing.”

He widened his stance, crossing his arms over his chest. Formidable.

“I don’t like it when you tower over me. I know it’s cold, but let’s sit.”

His left eyebrow cocked skyward, but he followed her to the rocking chairs on the covered porch.

She sat in one and waited while he settled into the other. She was all too aware his knee was only inches from hers. “Nan isn’t the same.”

“The same? What do you mean?”

She’d never been good at this—being blunt. Never quite knew how to approach a subject without offending someone. And it tended to result in her rambling.

“She’s gotten thin. Just this morning I caught her hiking up the elastic on her black church pants, and let me tell you, they still drooped. And her hair really concerns me. I mean, how many days does she go without showering? It’s so unlike her.” Without thinking, she rose to her feet and stretched to her tiptoes before sitting down again.

“I hadn’t noticed.”

How could he not have noticed? She turned to face him. “She sleeps more. Drifts in and out all day long. You know how she used to be. Capable. Self-sufficient. She drove everywhere, baked up a storm, made jam, quilted. This house was always spotless, and she’d sit in her rocker with a book most afternoons, and she’d have this peaceful, happy expression on her face. I loved that.” Her heart simultaneously warmed and pinched thinking about it. She hugged herself. “But now? She’s forgetful. Confused. And frail.”

He leaned back, crossing an ankle over his knee. “She’s getting up there in age. What did you expect?”

What did she expect? If she were being honest with herself, she hadn’t wanted to face the thought of Nan being anything other than the strong, kind woman who’d taught her how to pray and to be comfortable in her own skin. It had been delusional on her part to expect Nan to still be a powerhouse at eighty-six.

“I don’t know.” Her head dropped. “I just don’t know.”

He didn’t say anything. Simply sat there, quiet and still.

She’d always struggled with stillness. Even now, her arms and legs longed to move, explore the space and, to some extent, help her come to terms with what she was feeling. A series of pique turns down the length of the porch enticed her. But she kept her feet rooted in place.

“You check on her most days and get her groceries.” She shivered. It was really cold out here.

“Yep.”

“She doesn’t seem fit to drive anymore.”

“I don’t think she is. Lois Dern takes her to the beauty parlor every other week, so she is getting her hair washed, and one of the other church ladies, Gretchen Sable, I think, takes her to the doctor if she needs to go.”

Just what she’d suspected—Nan was trapped in this house, far away from help. It couldn’t be safe for her.

“I think her days living alone are numbered.” Brittany sighed.

“She’s fine.” His expression hardened. “I won’t let anything happen to her.”

“You?”

“Yeah, me.” His eyes narrowed. “I’ve taken care of her this long. I’ll take care of her for good.”

“She’s my grandmother.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Wow. Really?” She raised her chin and glared at him. “Oh, that’s right, you know everything there is to know about me, and I must still be the selfish liar who left town ten years ago. I couldn’t possibly care about anyone but myself, right?”

“If the shoe fits.” His face grew red, but he continued to sit there, ankle resting without even a twitch on his knee. How could he be so calm?

“Forget it.” She got up, spun away from him and looked out over the porch rail. “Go back to your ranch. I’ll take care of Nan.”

“And how are you going to do that, California?”

Did he really just call her California? Her temper didn’t flair often, but when it did, things could get ugly, and she felt the storm brewing inside her. Lord, help me stay calm. Grant me patience.

She whirled and caught her breath. He’d moved to stand behind her, and his nearness, his height slammed her with memories. She knew exactly how those hands would feel at her waist. The precise height she’d need to rise up to wrap her arms around his neck and...

She couldn’t get mushy. It had taken her years to get over him. One touch and all could be lost.

“Why don’t you get it all out right now, Mason? Say all the miserable things you’ve been thinking about me. Go on. I can take it.”

His jaw shifted but he kept his mouth shut.

She was tired of carrying around the shame about him and their past. She’d been a stupid teenager. And it had cost her dearly.

“I’m sorry for hurting you back then.” She stood tall. “I should have broken up with Parker before I came here that summer. He and I weren’t right for each other. I’d known it for months. I thought with me being away, he’d figure it out, too.” Saying the truth out loud deflated the bravado she’d had moments ago. “It doesn’t matter—I should have told you about him. I should have done a lot of things differently that summer.”

“Yes, you should have.” His voice was hard.

“I know.” And she did. But even if she had... “It wouldn’t have changed the ending, though. I couldn’t have stayed here. You and I both know it.”

His throat worked as he swallowed. He took his time mulling it over. Then he met her eyes, and she relaxed. Those were the eyes she remembered. The warm, caring man she used to know was still in there somewhere.

“I reckon you’re right.” The words were soft, sincere and they slammed into her heart. “I’ve missed you, Brit.”

She’d missed him, too. More than he would ever know.

“I only came around today to thank you for introducing me to Ryder.”

“You’re welcome.” She looked at this rugged man and saw beneath the tough exterior to the hurts inside. He’d lost too much in his life. How she’d wanted to be there for him when his grandparents died, and then Mia... But she wouldn’t have been welcome. “You always wanted a brother. I couldn’t deny you that.”

“Thank you.” He nodded. “And don’t worry about Nan. She’s not sick. She’ll be fine. We look out for our own in Rendezvous.”

“I know you do. I appreciate all you’ve done for her. But I can’t handle worrying about her every day. And I will worry. I think it’s time I consider moving Nan to California with me.”

“What?” His mind reeled. One minute he was flinging out ugly words he’d never meant to say, the next she was apologizing for that summer and hitting him with the truth like a slap to the face. He believed she regretted her actions that summer, and deep down he knew she was right about not being able to stay. But this—taking Nan from him—was going too far. “No, it’s not necessary. California? Really, Brittany? Can’t you think about anyone but yourself?”

“Now who’s the one being selfish?” She gave him a cool glare. “I’m thinking about Nan. What if she falls and no one finds her for hours?”

“We’ll get her one of those emergency buttons.” Even as the words left his mouth, he wondered if Brittany was right. Was he being selfish for wanting to keep Nan right where she was?

“She’s barely keeping up with basic hygiene. I feel like she’s living on yogurt and cheese crackers. The house is dirty. And so is she. She’s confused.”

“I’ll hire someone to help out with the cleaning once a week. We can pick up frozen dinners for her. All she’ll have to do is pop them in the microwave.” Easy solutions. No need for her to move Nan to another state.

“But will she?”

“Yes.” But he wasn’t so sure she actually would. He tried to imagine how Nan must appear in Brittany’s eyes, and he admitted, the picture wasn’t great.

“How long can this last? Six months? A year? I have to think long-term.” She covered her face with her hands and wiped her cheeks. She rose on her tippy-toes again, a movement he knew meant she was conflicted.

For the first time, he allowed himself to really see Brittany. Fine lines creased around her eyes and between her eyebrows. Her life might not have been as happy-go-lucky as he’d imagined.

That didn’t change things. He wasn’t letting her rip Nan away from here.

“Nan should have a say in it, too.” And so should he.

“I know.” She bit the corner of her lip, worry running through those pretty blue eyes.

“Look, I know you have a busy life in California,” he said as gently as possible. “I’ve been watching out for Nan a long time. She’s like a grandmother to me.”

“But she’s my grandma.”

That point stung a bit. Technically, Nan was Brittany’s grandmother, but he’d spent enough time with her to lay claim to the title, too, hadn’t he?

“And I don’t appreciate your tone when you talk about my busy life in California. You don’t know anything about my life. And it is busy, just not in the frivolous way you’re implying. If I move Nan in with me, I’ll be able to take care of her.”

“How are you going to do that? You’ll have to drag her out of this house kicking and screaming. She’s lived here for over sixty years. I’m sure it will do wonders for her health being stuck in the smog and surrounded by people all the time.”

“Look, I didn’t say I was moving her out there for sure. I merely said I was considering it.”

“Will you even be around to take care of her?” In his mind he’d always pictured Brittany laughing and living a social life surrounded by adoring friends. Honestly, the thought made him jealous. His life had been full of responsibility since he was a young boy.

“What do you think I do? I’m not some party girl flying around. I teach children and teens dance lessons at night and work part-time at a diner on weekends. During the day, I pick up side jobs doing data entry from home. So, to answer your question, no, I won’t always be around to take care of her. But you aren’t, either, so I don’t think you can talk.”