Читать книгу Barry Loser Hates Half Term - Jim Smith - Страница 12

‘ANOTHER FANTASTIC DONALD COX DEVELOPMENT!’ boomed the words on the billboard, next to a mahoosive photo of a man in a suit with sunglasses on. That makes it sound like the suit was wearing sunglasses - it wasn’t, the man was.

The man with the sunglasses on was Donald Cox, who’s been building buildings all over Mogden recently. In the photo he was standing in front of some skyscrapers, with his hands spread out like he was the king of Mogden.

Behind the billboard, half a real-life skyscraper was sticking out of the ground. Men in yellow plastic hats were dotted around all over it, hammering planks and eating sandwiches.

‘Blooming Donald Cox,’ grumbled my dad, pressing the back-massage button on the side of his seat, and the whole thing started to vibrate.

‘You can’t go five metres without seeing his face these days,’ he said, and he turned left down Bunky’s road, which everyone knows is the shortest short cut to Mogden Pier.

I pressed my nose up against the car window and spotted Bunky standing outside his house talking to Nancy and her dad, Mr Verkenwerken. Which didn’t surprise me, seeing as they’re next-door neighbours.

‘DONALD COX!’ I boomed, waving at Bunky. I’ve started calling Bunky ‘Donald Cox’ sometimes, by the way, because it makes him wee his pants with laughter.

Bunky carried on standing there, chatting to Nancy and Mr Verkenwerken and not weeing his pants at all, and I realised I hadn’t wound my window down.

I wound my window down and took a deep breath. ‘DONALD COX!’ I boomed again, and Bunky and Nancy jumped.

‘DONALD COX!’ boomed Bunky back, because he’s started calling me ‘Donald Cox’ too.

‘Help me, Donald - my dad’s kidnapped me!’ I shouted, imagining I was Future Ratboy, and I’d been captured by his number one enemy, Mr X, and locked up in the back of Mr X’s giant metal scorpion.

‘He’s sending me to Pirate Camp, Donald!’ I screamed, pounding my fists against the air, miming like I hadn’t wound the window down at all. ‘Meet me at Mogden Pier!’ I wailed, and I wound the window up again and went back to comperleeterly unenjoying my half term.