Читать книгу The Amish Widower's Twins - Jo Ann Brown - Страница 14

“Do you sell the milch from your goats?”

Leanna Wagler raised her left hand to acknowledge the man’s question as she continued milking Faith. The brown-and-white doe was the herd’s leader and most days waited patiently while Leanna squirted milch into the small bucket on the raised platform. Today, the goat had taken it into her head that she didn’t want to stand still.

“Just a minute,” Leanna said without looking back. “I’m almost done.”

It took less time than that. Drawing the pail out from under the goat, she patted Faith on the haunches, the signal the goat should jump down. Leanna set the pail on the ground and smiled as Charity, the goat who always wanted to be milked after the herd’s leader, stepped up onto the platform.

“Sorry,” Leanna began as she turned in the direction of the man’s voice.

She didn’t finish.

Instead, she stared at the man standing on the other side of the fence.

How could it be Gabriel Miller, the man who’d held her heart in his hands when she lived in Lancaster County? He’d tossed it aside to marry another woman without letting Leanna know of his plans.

It had to be Gabriel. Who else had unruly red curls that refused to lie flat in a plain haircut? His ruddy beard, still patchy, followed the strong line of his jaw. Dark brown eyes, which she had once believed were as sweet and loyal as a puppy’s, widened as his gaze swept from the top of her kapp to the rubber boots she wore while milking.

She fought her fingers, which wanted to wipe goat hair and stains off her apron. She didn’t need to try to look her best for a man who’d dumped her.

A part of her didn’t want to believe the man who’d invaded her dreams, turning them to nightmares, stood in front of her. Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Gabriel?”

At the same moment, he asked, “Leanna?”

Her heart somehow managed to leap and sink at the same time. The sound of her name in his deep, rumbling voice confirmed what she’d been trying to deny.

The red-haired man in front of her was Gabriel Miller, and the boppli he held...

Shock pierced her again as she looked from him to the little one who had his bright red hair. Gabriel had a kind? She shouldn’t be surprised. He’d been married for about a year and a half. The baby looked to be about six months old and regarded her with curious eyes as brown as Gabriel’s.

As brown as the boppli’s daed.

Her heart broke as it had the day she’d learned he was going to marry Freda Girod.

“Gute mariye, Gabriel,” Leanna said.

Her cool voice seemed to startle him. What had he expected? Had he thought she’d throw her arms around him or dissolve into tears? That she was tempted to do both was something he must never know.

As emotions rushed through his eyes, she waited for him to reply. He must know, as she did, that what he said next would set the tone of their future interactions. Interactions? What an unfeeling word! Yet such words would keep distance between them.

“I didn’t know your Waglers lived on this farm,” Gabriel said.

“We’ve been here over a year.” She raised her chin as if she could cut the differences in their heights, for he was almost a foot taller than she was. “Are you visiting someone here?”

Please say ja, she begged silently.

“No, we’ve decided to become part of this new church district.”

It took every bit of strength Leanna possessed to keep her shoulders from sagging at the thought of having Gabriel, his wife and their boppli as her neighbors. She hadn’t been successful in banishing him from her thoughts. Now—seeing him at least every two weeks for church—he’d be a constant reminder of the worst betrayal she’d ever endured.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. That psalm, which had offered her comfort, whispered in her mind.

“Did you say something about goats’ milch?” She remembered what he’d said, but she didn’t want to talk about why he and his family had come to Harmony Creek Hollow.

He looked relieved, but didn’t give her the smile that used to make her heart yearn to twirl about with joy. He remained somber as he answered, “The doktor suggested goats’ milch for my bopplin.”

She heard a bleat from the milking platform. Charity had gotten tired of waiting and thought Leanna should know it, but Leanna couldn’t move.

Couldn’t speak.

Couldn’t think of anything but what Gabriel had just said. He had more than the one boppli he held with the ease of an experienced parent in the crook of one arm?

She shouldn’t be surprised. Like her, he was a twin, but unlike her and her sister Annie, he and his brother weren’t identical twins. Twins were more prevalent in some families, so him being the daed of twins wasn’t unexpected. It was a reminder, however, of how far his life had changed since the last time they’d spoken...and how little hers had.

She’d moved with her grossmammi and siblings, as well as her older brother Lyndon’s family, from Pennsylvania to northern New York. She’d bought and now tended a herd of goats that made her laugh with their antics when she wasn’t frustrated with their attempts to sneak through the fence. She had jobs cleaning houses for Englisch neighbors to help provide for the household.

She remained unmarried, the sole member of the friendship group she, her sister and two friends had laughingly named Harmony Creek Spinsters Club to not find a husband after moving to the new settlement. The only romance in her life, other than a few attempts by her sister at matchmaking, were the novels she read before she went to sleep each night.

She told herself to stop feeling sorry for herself. She had a gut life with a loving family and kind friends. She was a member of a devoted Leit who came together to worship and praise God.

“...would be better for their digestion.”

Realizing Gabriel had continued talking, Leanna struggled to listen past the roar of the windswept ocean that had taken up residence in her head. He was going to be living in Harmony Creek Hollow, so she must get used to him being nearby.

But how?

* * *

Gabriel Miller wondered why nobody had warned him Leanna was part of the Wagler family living down the road from the farm he’d bought with his brother. Because the surname was common in Lancaster County, he hadn’t given a second thought to his new neighbors.

He should have. And maybe a third and a fourth thought. He had no idea how he was going to get used to having pretty Leanna right next door. When they’d lived in Lancaster County, it had been an hour drive from his house to hers. The last time they’d spoken, he’d asked her to meet him at an ice cream shop in Strasburg, which was about halfway between their homes. That had never happened. Instead, he’d married Freda.

Every time he walked out his door now, there would be a chance he’d see the sheen of Leanna’s black hair in the sunlight or hear her soft voice lilting with laughter and kindness. Two years ago, that would have been a cause for celebration. Now nothing was.

A cry came from the boppli in his arms, and he gave Harley a teething biscuit. The little boy chomped on it, appeased. It was a sharp reminder, though, how Gabriel had to forget about the past and think about Harley’s and his twin sister Heidi’s suffering. The little girl managed better than her smaller brother, but last night both had been awake all night with stomachaches and vomiting. What they did get into their stomachs went through them so fast Gabriel was having a hard time keeping up with the laundry.

Thank You, Lord, he’d prayed as he had washed out diapers, tiny clothing and soiled bedding, for having these troubles come to us in May. I don’t know how we would have handled it in the middle of the winter.

“Do you sell the milch from your goats?” he asked as he had before. The sooner he got his business completed, the sooner he could get out of Leanna’s barnyard.

“Ja.” The word seemed to spark a change in her because she lost her baffled expression and met his eyes.

For the length of a single heartbeat, it was as if he’d been thrown back in time to when he’d seen her blue-green eyes crinkling with a smile across a hay-strewn barn. Forget that! He couldn’t let his mind get caught up in what had been. It was too late to change it anyhow.

Again he had to force himself to focus on the stumbling conversation. How easily they’d once chatted! Today, he had to weigh each word before he spoke it. Otherwise, he might utter something stupid, like the truth he had promised never to reveal.

“I’m looking to buy enough for both bopplin,” he said. “Around three pints a day. Do your goats give enough so you can sell me that much?”

“Ja, but you’ll have to pick it up. I don’t have time to deliver milch to you.” She hesitated, then asked, “Where’s your farm?”

“Next door, but closer to the main road.” He didn’t miss how she flinched. “Michael and I purchased the farm and moved in a couple of days ago. I’d assumed I could find formula for the bopplin, but everything seems to upset their stomachs.”

Her gaze focused on Harley again. “They may be bothered by you using different water here. Are they eating solid food?”

“Some, but we’re relying on bottles for the most part. That’s why it’s important I get something they can keep down.”

“Goats’ milch is easy to digest.” Her voice sounded normal. He wished his did. “It has less sugar and trace amounts of the protein that causes troubles for those with sensitivities to cows’ milch. If you’re going to use it as a formula substitute, though, you’ll need to add in a few minerals and vitamins.”

“You know a lot about this.”

“My goats aren’t pets. When I decided to start a herd, I did a lot of reading to know what I was getting into. I’ve got several customers who purchase milch, though they’re adults, not bopplin.”

“Gabriel...Miller...is...that you?”

He looked over his shoulder to see who was speaking in a halting manner. Again he was astonished. He’d met Inez Wagler, the matriarch of the Wagler family and Leanna’s grossmammi, several times at haystack dinners and mud sales. The last time he’d seen her, two years ago, she’d been as spry as a grasshopper.

Inez Wagler, once a powerful oak, looked like an ancient tree stripped by a storm. She leaned on a cane as she crossed the yard toward them. Her gray hair was thin beneath her kapp, and wrinkles were gouged into her face. Yet, when she smiled, hints of her vibrant personality were visible.

“Gute mariye, Grossmammi Inez.” He caught sight of Leanna’s eyes narrowing before she turned to calm the goat vying for her attention. He shouldn’t have used the name she always used when she spoke of her grossmammi. That suggested he was a member of the family, which he most definitely wasn’t.

“It...is...you.” She paused in front of him and rested both hands on top of the wood cane. “Are you...our new...neighbors?”

Gabriel wondered why Inez spoke in gasps. He flicked a quick glance toward Leanna and caught her unaware. Dismay was displayed across her face. As he watched, she rearranged her face into the same crisp, false smile she’d offered him.

“Grossmammi,” Leanna said, “if you needed something, you could have gotten my attention from the porch.”

“A soul...likes fresh...air...once in...a while.” She smiled at Gabriel. “Ain’t so?”

He raised his left hand as he kept Harley secure in his right arm. “I may be a new member of this settlement, but I learned long ago never to get in the middle of a disagreement between two strong-willed women.”

Inez laughed and, to his amazement, Leanna did, too. He hadn’t meant it as a joke.

“Who...is this...with you?” the old woman asked.

“My son, Harley.” He offered her a smile, but suspected it looked as fake as it felt. “His twin, Heidi, is at home. It’s a boys’ trip out to buy some milch from Leanna’s goats.”

His son seemed fascinated by Inez, who spoke to him in a gentle, soothing voice. Chewing on his teething biscuit, he stared at her.

“He’s...never seen...anyone...as old...as me.” Inez’s chuckle turned into a gasp as she struggled for breath.

Gabriel reached out to her, but she waved him away, telling him she was fine.

He didn’t believe it, not when he saw the concern on her kins-kind’s face. Leanna’s hands were clenched into impotent fists at her sides as if she were battling with herself not to climb out of the goats’ pen and come to her grossmammi’s aid.

“Welcome...to...Harmony...Creek. We hope...you’ll...like it...here.” She looked at her granddaughter. “Ain’t so?”

Color rushed up Leanna’s face, and he realized how pale she’d been since she discovered him on the other side of the fence. When Leanna nodded and remained silent, her grossmammi headed to the house. Inez halted partway and asked Leanna to come in when she was done with him.

Gabriel halted himself from saying Leanna had been done with him a long time ago. Why bring up the past when she’d made it clear with her curt comments that she hadn’t forgiven him for marrying someone else?

Why should she? She hadn’t replied to the letter he’d sent her before he took his marriage vows, so he’d known she hadn’t been ready to grant him the forgiveness he’d asked for. She must believe he was heartless. He couldn’t change her opinion, because he couldn’t share the truth with anyone.

Once her grossmammi was out of earshot, Gabriel asked, “Why does she sound the way she does?”

“We’re not sure.” Leanna pushed aside the goat poking her with its head. “Her doktor thinks it may have something to do with one of her heart valves, so he’s sending her to a cardiologist.”

“I never imagined her so weak she’d need a cane.”

“Me, neither.” Leanna became all business, and he knew she didn’t want to say more about her grossmammi. She told him what she charged for a quart of milch and what containers he would need.

“I leave for work by ten most mornings,” she said, “so please be here before then. Until school is out, Grossmammi Inez is here by herself, and it’d be better if she wasn’t disturbed.”

Though questions about where Leanna worked demanded answers, he didn’t ask them. “I’ll make it a priority to be here before you head out. If I can’t be, we’ll work out something else. I appreciate you helping me, so I want to make this as easy as possible for you.”

“Danki.” She glanced at the black goat on the milking platform, and he knew she and the doe wanted him gone.

Had she guessed he hadn’t been speaking just about picking up the milch? When he’d made the decisions he had almost two years ago, he’d hoped there would be a way to avoid hurting Leanna. He’d spent hours working on that letter to her, praying God would give him the right words. God hadn’t listened to that prayer, as He hadn’t so many others in the past year. Somehow, in the midst of his chaotic life, he’d lost his connection with God, and he wasn’t sure how to find it again.

“No, I should be the one saying ‘danki.’ If you didn’t have milch to sell, I don’t know where I could have found some.” He backed away a couple of steps.

“There are several people around here who sell it. If you want, I can give you their names and addresses. That way if you want to check prices or—”

“I’m sure you’re giving me a fair price, Leanna, and I won’t find any place more convenient than next door.”

“True.”

When she didn’t add anything else, he began to walk toward his gray-topped buggy. It’d been delivered that morning, and he had other errands before he headed home and continued unpacking enough so they could get through another day.

“Gabriel?” Leanna called.

Facing her, he asked, “Ja?”

“If it’s easier, your wife is welcome to komm and pick up the milch for your bopplin.”

It was his turn to flinch.

She must have seen because she hurried to say, “Gabriel, it’s okay. Tell her she and the kinder are welcome here anytime.”

“I can’t.” He kept emotion from his face and his voice as he added, “I can’t, because she’s dead.”