Читать книгу Joan Garry's Guide to Nonprofit Leadership - Garry Joan, Joan Garry - Страница 21

Pleasers cause themselves heaps of trouble. Stretching yourself thin to make everyone happy inevitably backfires in nearly every situation — from a kindergarten class to a boardroom to a staff meeting.

The most important lesson I have learned about Elastigirl leaders is that if you can help them draw a picture of what happens as a result of pleasing, it makes them really unhappy. Elastigirls respond in the moment and do not anticipate well. It's kind of like an automatic camera — “point and shoot.” Trouble to the left? Let me fix it. Conflicting trouble to the right? I'll make you happy, too. But they can't look far enough down the road to see the implications.

Tina is an ED of a direct service organization that has a very strong client advocacy group. There had long been a push to put a member of that group on the board. Attempting to please the Client Advocacy Task Force, Tina, as ED, brought the group into a board meeting to talk about it so the group could make the pitch. Now it was time for Tina to please the board. They loved the idea. Meanwhile Ben, Director of Programs, saw the challenge a mile away. He could see that electing the chair of the task force to the board could give that task force undue power. He saw that it would be difficult for this person to be anything other than a representative of the task force rather than someone who could view the organization from 35,000 feet, as an effective board member must.

The outcome was not pleasing. The new board member came to advocate for clients. In and of itself, this was OK, but an idea he brought to the table was not in the best interest of the organization, and the board voted it down. He quit the board and undermined the credibility and reputation of Tina with anyone who would listen, including fellow board members. Tina, displeased with how she, as ED, was being treated, was recruited away. A messy leadership transition ensued (more on that in Chapter 10).

Some advice for the pleasers out there:

 Tell your board chair (partner) that you have a bit of a blind spot. Gasp! Am I really suggesting that you tell your board chair that you are imperfect? Yup! You are partners, remember? Ask your board chair to help you think through the implications of decisions because you need help exercising your anticipation muscle.

 Remember that a pleaser flexes too quickly and consciously slow down. The word yes can come out of your mouth so fast. Please count to 10 (or 20 or more) before saying anything. Even better, practice these words “Let me go back to my team and talk about this. They will have an important perspective on this issue.”

 Keep Your Eye on the Mission at All Times. If you do, you will make better decisions and you will say “no” when you need to. You will be more effective in the long run, and that will be pleasing for everyone who cares about your mission.

 Bonus: What Not to Do — Do Not Find a Bad Cop! I have seen this too many times to count. A Vice Chair who leans into the board about their fundraising commitment. A Deputy Director who institutes tough new HR policies while the ED is out of town. This is unfair to the “bad cop” and a clear sign of an ineffective leader. If you can't put on your big kid pants and make tough decisions, please reevaluate your line of work.