Читать книгу Shattered - Joan Johnston - Страница 10

Kate wanted Jack’s arms around her. She’d been seriously rattled by Wyatt Shaw’s visit. She’d realized she would never get to the twins’ elementary school before class let out for the day, so she’d called a friend who lived near the school and asked her to pick up Lucky and Chance. Her friend had called to let Kate know she had the boys in hand, so at least Shaw hadn’t intercepted them before they got on the bus. The boys were going to stay at their friend’s house and play for a while before her friend brought them home.

Then she’d paced the floor, waiting for Jack to arrive.

Jack represented comfort. And security. He arrived at her front door dressed like the lawman he was in the only “uniform” the Texas Rangers wore: a crisp, long-sleeved white western shirt with, in Jack’s case, a bolo tie with a silver clasp, Wrangler jeans, a western hat and cowboy boots.

As he stepped inside, he set his gray felt Stetson on a nearby table with the crown down. As soon as he did, she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He shoved the SIG Sauer P226 in a slide holster on his belt out of the way. But she could feel the cold imprint of the Texas Ranger badge, a star within a circle stamped out of a silver Mexican cinco peso coin which he wore over his left breast pocket, against her cheek.

She waited anxiously for his arms to close around her. Finally they did. But it wasn’t enough to quiet her fears.

“Hold me tighter, Jack.”

His grip tightened at last, but only for a moment, just long enough for her to hear that his heart was thumping surprisingly fast. Then he grasped her shoulders and pushed her away.

Kate raised her face, thinking Jack wanted to kiss her. She was confused by the anxious look in his dark brown eyes. For a moment, it seemed he wouldn’t kiss her. And then he did.

Kate welcomed the passionate meeting of tongues and caught fire as Jack yanked at the buttons on her cotton blouse. He shoved a hand inside her blouse, then inside her bra, and palmed the naked weight of her breast. He used his other hand to press her hips tight against his erection.

The abrasive brush of his callused thumb caused her nipples to peak. His tongue mimicked the sex act, withdrawing, then seeking honey again.

Kate shoved her hands up around Jack’s neck and into his hair, raising herself on tiptoe so their bodies would fit better, feeling the hot, hard length of him through the layers of denim they both wore. He wasn’t nearly close enough. She wanted him inside her.

Her hand shoved its way back down between them. She traced the shape of him, the length of him, the heat of him, and heard the guttural groan that told her he liked what she was doing.

Which made it all the more shocking when he tore his mouth from hers, yanked his hand out of her bra and grabbed her shoulders with both hands. He held her at arm’s length, his eyes tortured, his lungs heaving.

Kate could feel Jack’s body trembling with need. Felt her own knees buckling, as nature did its best to get her supine to procreate. “Jack?” she gasped.

“We have to stop. We can’t do this.”

“Why not? I love you.” It was the first time she’d said the words. “And I know you love me.” He’d told her so in the days before she’d been shot. He’d proved it by coming to the hospital every day while she was in a coma, and by taking care of her sons when her mother-in-law might have seized the opportunity to steal her children away.

Jack closed his eyes. His jaw worked as though he were fighting some great emotion. “Oh God, Kate.”

When he opened his eyes at last, there was a hopeless look in them that made her breath catch. Kate could think of only one reason why Jack wouldn’t want to make love. She looked earnestly up at him and sought the words that would ease his troubled mind.

“It’s okay, Jack. I know we can’t get married right away, maybe not for a long time.” J.D. might never be caught.

“But being shot, being in a coma, has taught me that none of us knows how long we have in this world. My heart is yours, Jack. I think it has been for a very long time. I want to make love to you. With you.”

Jack made a low, growling sound in his throat, but he kept her at arm’s length.

“We’ve waited long enough,” she said. “I want to start our lives together now. We can worry about J.D. when—or if—he ever shows up again.”

Kate tried to reach out and touch Jack, but his grip tightened painfully. “Ow. Jack, you’re hurting me.”

He let go of her abruptly and took a quick step back. When Kate reached out again, he put his hands up and snapped, “No. Don’t touch me.”

Kate recoiled. “What’s wrong?”

He shoved a hand through his sun-streaked chestnut hair and looked down and away.

Kate recognized the move. J.D. had done it often enough. That was guilt. But guilt about what?

Jack stalked past her to the wet bar on the far side of the living room. He found a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, poured himself a stiff drink and gulped it down in two swallows.

Kate watched him warily, stunned by his rejection. All she could think was that something had changed while she was in a coma. That he didn’t love her anymore. That he’d kept on watching over her sons because he’d felt an obligation to do so. He’d gotten carried away by the kissing and touching, but he wasn’t interested in anything permanent. Which explained why he’d seemed so upset by her profession of love.

“Have you changed your mind about loving me, Jack?” she asked, struggling to keep her chin from quivering.

“No!” His voice was loud. Harsh. As guttural as his groan of pleasure or his growl of guilt.

“Then why did you stop? Don’t you want to make love to me?”

“My balls ache, I want you so bad,” he said through gritted teeth. “I love you. I want to marry you.”

Kate shook her head in bafflement. “Then why—”

“Holly’s pregnant.”

It took Kate a moment to process what Jack had said. She was trying to figure out what Holly’s pregnancy had to do with Jack not making love to her. And realized what he hadn’t said.

“It’s your baby.”

Jack didn’t bother to confirm what she’d said. He just stood there looking sick at heart.

“When…? How soon…?”

“She got pregnant over Thanksgiving,” he said. “The baby’s due in mid-August.”

Kate felt the heat grow in her cheeks. While she’d been in a coma, Jack had been having sex with his wife.

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

“For what?” she snapped. “Holly’s your wife. She is still your wife, right?”

“She is. But—”

“Does this mean you’ve reconciled? That you’re not getting a divorce?”

“It was an accident,” Jack blurted.

Kate laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound.

“We were arguing and…” He rubbed a hand across his nape. “Aw, hell. That’s how Holly and I settled every argument we ever had during our marriage. It was just…habit.”

“You didn’t take any precautions?”

“She’s forty-one. Neither of us thought she could get pregnant because she’s been… What’s it called?”

“Menopausal?”

“Yeah. She started missing periods and said that was the end of kids for us. So I didn’t think—”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Kate muttered.

“Look, neither Holly nor I planned for her to get pregnant. It just happened. And now that it has…”

He paused again, and Kate waited to hear the death knell to her dreams of a life with Jack. “And now?”

“I don’t want my child born a bastard.”

Kate’s breath soughed out of her. “I see.”

He didn’t explain further. He didn’t need to. She could see where he was headed.

“I presume that means you’re not getting a divorce.”

“We’re still getting divorced. We’re just not going to sign the papers until after the baby’s born in August,” Jack qualified.

“What if I’m willing to have you live here and make love to me while you’re still, technically, married to Holly?”

He was already shaking his head. “I can’t do that, Kate.”

“Why not?”

“Holly set conditions on us staying married until the baby is born, one of which is that we live together in Houston for the rest of her pregnancy. She has a job at M.D. Anderson.”

Kate felt dizzy. “You’re moving to Houston? To live with Holly?”

“And Ryan.”

Kate felt an awful ache in her chest, felt her eyes brim with sudden tears, as though someone she loved had just died. She fought the sorrow with anger. “Why would Holly want you to live with her? She’s the one who asked for the divorce!”

“She wants to use these few months together to work out some of our differences, so we can be friends again.”

“Friends?” Kate snorted the word as though it was an epithet.

“Holly and I won’t be sleeping together, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Kate moaned and swayed. She covered her face with her hands and fought back a sob.

Jack crossed the room in three strides and gathered her in his arms. His cheek was pressed close to hers and his voice was gruff as he said, “This is just a hiccup, sweetheart. We’ll be together soon. But I have to do this.”

Kate opened her mouth to tell Jack about the threat she faced from Wyatt Shaw and closed it again without speaking. It would tear Jack in two if he thought she was in trouble and needed him while he was stuck living with his wife in Houston.

“When do you leave?”

“Tonight. I’m helping Holly move in tomorrow.”

Kate startled herself when she burst into tears.

“Honey, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Jack crooned.

Kate felt him kiss her closed eyes, felt him kiss away the hot tears on her cheeks.

He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up. “Look at me, Kate.”

He waited patiently until she opened her eyes.

She looked up at Jack through a veil of tears. “It’s not fair, Jack. It’s like fate is conspiring against us.”

“Our day will come, Kate. Sooner than you think.”

But Kate wasn’t so sure. What if Jack fell back in love with his wife? And she’d been counting on Jack to be a buffer between her and Wyatt Shaw.

She swallowed over the painful knot of sorrow—and fear—in her throat and said, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Hey,” Jack said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “It won’t be so bad. We can talk on the phone every day, and I can visit sometimes on weekends. We have the Internet and texting. If you love me as much as I love you, we can get through this together.”

She didn’t want to be coaxed into compliance. She stiffened in his arms. “You’re still planning to woo me while you’re living with your wife?”

“My very pregnant wife,” Jack pointed out.

“Pregnant women are beautiful.”

“I’m sure you were,” Jack said with a grin. “And I hope you will be again.”

Kate flushed. She was only thirty, with many more childbearing years, she hoped, ahead of her. She laid a palm against Jack’s cheek, which was rough from an early five o’clock shadow, and said, “I would love having a child with you.”

“Give me four months, Kate,” he said, “and we can start to work on it.”

The kiss he gave her was soft, tender, loving. And brief. His gaze was still focused on her mouth as he said, “I’m sorry I have to break our date tonight. I’ll make it up to you. I’d better get out of here before I do something I’ll be sorry for in the morning.”

Kate knew she could tempt him. Even though Jack had said he ought to leave, he was still holding her close. It wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge. He was aroused again—or still. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded, with an avid look that made her pulse leap.

“You’d better go.” But she made no move to send him on his way.

“I love you,” he said again.

“And I love you.”

Which made what he was about to do all the more insane, Kate thought. Maybe if she told him about Shaw he would stay. But that would mean telling Jack who’d really fathered the twins. He was going to learn the truth sooner or later, and surely it would be better if he heard it from her than found out some other way.

“Jack…”

“Hmm,” he said as he nuzzled her throat.

She leaned her head back to give him better access, feeling the shiver roll down her spine as he sucked on the tender skin beneath her ear.

“I have a confession, too,” she whispered.

“Hmm,” he said, trailing kisses across her cheek, headed for her mouth.

“I…”

He caught her lower lip in his teeth and nibbled gently. She returned the favor. Soon, Kate was breathless, as desire spiraled upward through her body.

“I have to go, Kate,” he said. But he sought her mouth with his, and they were caught up once more in the pleasure of kissing and touching each other.

With the sixth sense every mother has, Kate heard the front door opening. She pulled free of Jack’s embrace and pressed a quick hand to her mouth before she turned to greet her sons with a bright smile.

“Mom, we’re home!” Lucky said as he flung the door open.

“Hi, Jack. How’s Ryan?” Chance said.

The twins had met Ryan at Christmas and talked about him often. According to Jack, Ryan had been jealous of the twins spending time with “his” father and had rebuffed their attempts at friendship at first. But before the holiday was over, the three boys had become “Best Buds.”

“Ryan’s fine,” Jack said. “In fact, I’m glad I have this chance to let you boys know I’ll be living with Ryan for the next couple of months.”

“You’re going to Kansas?” Lucky asked.

“Ryan and his mom are moving back to Texas,” Jack said. “I’m going to live with them in Houston for a little while.”

Kate held her breath, hoping Jack wouldn’t mention Holly’s pregnancy.

Chance frowned and glanced from Jack to Kate. “I thought you and Mom liked each other.”

“We did,” Jack said. “We do,” he corrected. “But Holly’s—” Jack stopped and looked at Kate, seeking guidance.

“Ryan’s mother is pregnant,” Kate explained. “Jack’s going to live in Houston to help her out until she has the baby.”

Kate waited with bated breath for one of the twins to ask how Ryan’s mother had gotten pregnant, but neither did.

“You’re coming back though, right?” Chance asked.

Jack playfully ruffled his black hair. “You bet!”

“There are chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen,” Kate said, hoping to distract her sons and prevent more awkward questions.

The twins gave a yell and headed for the kitchen.

“Be sure to leave your book bags on the counter,” she called after them. She turned to Jack and barely stopped herself from walking right back into his arms. “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss all of you, too.”

Kate waited for a last kiss, a final hug. But Jack was keeping his distance. She needed to tell him about Wyatt Shaw’s ultimatum and ask for his help. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Can it wait, honey? I need to check in with my captain before I leave town and I’ve got some packing to do. We’ll have three hours to talk while I’m on the road to Houston tonight. If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to want to hold you again.” He grabbed his Stetson from the table by the door and settled it low on his forehead.

Kate was torn. Her fear of Wyatt Shaw warred with her fear of what Jack would think of her when he knew the truth. “Jack, I wish—”

“Goodbye, Kate.” He kissed her hard and walked out the door.

And ran right into Wyatt Shaw.