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HARMONY, DISORDER AND SMILES

A visit to Thailand is likely to be an infuriating, alienating and head-scratching experience that will also provide the most wonderful and welcoming of culture shocks.

Thailand assaults the senses with an overload of activity—an explosion of colors, sounds, sights, smells and tastes. It possesses a seductive spirituality born not only from Buddhist values but from an ancient animist approach that has its origins in the country’s folklores and forests.

This book is an attempt to understand one of the world’s most visited countries—but goes beyond the usual tourist brochures and guidebooks. A Geek in Thailand is an exploration of why Thailand at once appears so foreign and chaotic yet familiar and ordered. Through a journey that includes understanding the complex cacophony of components that make up Thailand’s food, noise levels, politics, traffic and contradictory character traits, we will begin to discover how seeking a balance, a harmony and a level of calm in all these integral elements is at the heart of the soul and culture of the country and essence of being Thai.

LOOKS CAN BE DECEPTIVE

Although young Thai men may wear T-shirts bearing the names of Western bands and cheer for English football teams on Saturday nights, and although Thai women may wear the latest fashions and cultivate looks championed by their Japanese and Korean counterparts, Thais are inexplicably unique in their outlook. There is pride in the nation’s individualistic Thai perspective that stems not only from it being the only Southeast Asian country to ever resist colonization by Western powers but also from the deep reverence and respect for the intrinsic national Thai values of Nation, Religion and Monarchy.

The Thai New Year, Songkran, is perhaps the world’s biggest water fight.

Being happy in Thailand is important, and there are even military-led campaigns to encourage it.

The longer you stay in Thailand, the more questions you are likely to ask. To understand Thailand, you must have a knowledge of its geographical position and the influence of its neighbors. To understand Thai people, you must at least know of the one-time existence of more than 50 ethnic groups that were ‘unified’ and rebranded ‘Thai’ by one of the country’s most controversial and influential 20th-century prime ministers. To understand the Thai national character, you must have an awareness of its people’s propensity to smile, to save face and to respect the ‘tribe’ above all else. To understand Thailand is to understand the political divisions of its people, which at times seem to manifest itself as little more than a preference for a particular color of clothing.

Tourists on a jungle trek in Maetang get a good soaking.

The infamous Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan has become a rite of passage for young visitors.

Just dance: A cheerleading flash mob performing in Bangkok.

Writing this book has involved adventures down alleyways, gallons of coffee in cafes, thousands of emails and phone calls and fascinating days spent with professors, experts, artists, musicians, writers, street vendors, waitresses, taxi drivers, businessmen and everyday Thais who make up the eclectic mix of contemporary Thai society.

This project has also, perhaps most importantly, been inspired and motivated by each and every stranger’s smile, a reminder to this English geek of why he wanted to write a book about their country and culture in the first place.

LIVING THE HOLIDAY DREAM

The story of how I came to live in Thailand is quite a common one for those who choose the ‘Land of Smiles’ as their adopted homeland. I came for a holiday, well no, actually, that’s not entirely true.... I came seeking relaxation, to de-stress at the end of a joyless English-teaching contract in Korea. Rather than return to the gray and dreary streets of my hometown of Manchester in the UK, where I would be twiddling my thumbs until my Masters course in journalism began, I went to Thailand at the suggestion of my girlfriend at the time.

I headed straight for the holiday island of Phuket. I think it was on day three, while I was sitting on the sand at Kata beach looking out at the water and the cliffs and peaks and distant green hills, that the hustle and bustle and toil and trouble of my recent time in Korea began to feel like years, not mere days, away.

I stayed in Phuket for a month, writing the odd travel article for a local newsmagazine to help subsidize my English breakfasts, bowls of chicken fried rice and bottles of Singha beer. Being a sun-starved Mancunian, I then decided to do some more beach-hopping and ended up on the more remote and less-developed (at the time) island of Samui. I stayed in the Fishmerman’s Village, a lovely little beachside town with cheap accommodation and a lively selection of bars and foreign and Thai restaurants. I spent my days jogging on the beach and learning shorthand and writing. In the evenings I worked my way through a seemingly never-ending menu of delicious spicy, sour and sweet Thai dishes to the sounds of live music.

I’ve met many interesting people in my time in Thailand. Performance artist and Thailand’s Got Talent contestant Romadon is definitely in my top three.

The time for me to return to the UK, and the responsibilities associated with it, was drawing ever closer. I decided that I should at least make an attempt at seeing another side of Thailand, something different from the idyllic paradise-like corners of the earth. I went to Bangkok, then to Chiang Mai and finally to Ayutthaya. In Bangkok I saw an urban Asian metropolis that straddled modernity and tradition and poverty and wealth like no other capital city I had ever visited. In Chiang Mai I saw a beautiful city surrounded by breathtaking countryside, with wonderful wildlife and awesome architecture, temples and ruins, and in Auutthaya I experienced a glimpse of the Thailand of the past.

I had spent three months in Thailand, a lengthy holiday by any stretch of the imagination. But the fact that as soon as I had completed my Masters degree, I looked at ways of returning to Thailand is testament to the attraction of the country, to the fact that everything just seems so dull, so gray, so cold, so non-spicy and so un-Thai in comparison.

Like many expats who choose Thailand as their adopted home, I came for a holiday and stayed for the laid-back lifestyle. I came because I loved something about Thailand, something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. When I left seven years earlier, I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but I was determined to find out. So I returned and began to work for the same newsmagazine I had written for during my initial visit. For my first Christmas in Thailand, I bought a Christmas tree, but when January came around I threw the little plastic thing out as I doubted I’d be there when the bells started jingling again. After three more tree-less Christmas festive periods, I admitted to myself that I should probably buy one again. I now live and work in Bangkok.

As with most other expats in Thailand, there have been times when I’ve wanted to tear my hair out with the ‘Thai’ way of doing things, but the anger and incredulity always pass and I remain, with a smile on my face and a Christmas tree and water pistol for Songkran in my cupboard.