Читать книгу West winds of infinity. An addition to the rule of the Nagual of Carlos Castaneda - John Abelar - Страница 5

A certain position of the assemblage point corresponds to the human ego. Seers call this position a place of concern, anxiety. In this position of the assemblage point attention (attention is closely connected with the concept of perception, and with the concept of awareness, so everywhere in the text, these concepts to a certain extent can be interchangeable) of a person, as a rule, is directed to himself, to his own problems and concerns; a person’s actions are aimed at achieving any personal benefit, and his state is characterized by internal unrest, although for an ordinary external observer and internally for the person himself it can be absolutely imperceptible. This position of the assemblage point is in close proximity to the place of the mind, in which the human attention is completely immersed in thoughts.

In the books of Castaneda, don Juan calls the ego of man a sense of self-importance, which, in fact, is a hidden self-pity. Don Juan says that parting with a sense of self-importance makes a person invulnerable and that the best way to get rid of him is to use a petty tyrant. In the role of the petty tyrant serves some person having direct or indirect influence on the warrior (the warrior is the man who puts his life’s purpose to the attainment of true knowledge, the development of own spirit, self-development, and the main task – awareness of own spirit, the double, the another I, the energy body, the astral body). I single out the word “warrior” because the energy of such a person stands out quite thoroughly among other people, and even if he has not yet broken the mirror of self-reflection, these features of energy can be felt literally. The warrior’s attitude to himself and the world around him has changed greatly, he is not involved in the social game and is directed in almost every action to pull out the second attention (the attention of the another I, the double, the energy body), first of all, his ability to be detached from himself and not affected by what is happening around. The petty tyrant can be a person of the same social status as a warrior, but his presence has a strong influence on the internal state of the warrior, this man is hurt and cling the warrior by words, looks, behavior, drives him crazy, generally speaking, takes the warrior out of balance. However, in my experience, the other side of sense of self-importance, namely self-pity, is not hidden under the mask of self-importance and dominates in life of many people, like the other side of the human ego. For such people, who are, in fact, introverts and themselves prone to melancholy and depression, petty tyrants have a rather negative effect. For such people need not a pressing external factor, but rather a stimulating one, but, of course, provided that these people will use this factor to maintain and develop their own spirit, but not personal self-esteem. In this case, should speak about the sense of self-worthlessness (self-pity) as the second side of the human ego.

There are five basic feelings in a person and they can be arranged in a certain sequence, which is important for understanding the ego and for understanding its action: fear, anger, sorrow, joy (gladness) and love. From my experience I consider it expedient to single out the sixth sense as a feeling of interest associated with the desire for novelty, with the desire to learn something new, unusual, with the attraction of the body to something outside whether it is a situation, a person, a tree or some inanimate object, which leads to awareness as a true and direct knowledge of something coming in the form of feelings in the body, or to vision, if it is possible to move the assemblage point to the appro-priate position. The sense of interest is more related to knowledge and contrasted with fear, as a feeling that is identified with the lack of know-ledge and that keeps, figuratively speaking, the soul in darkness. By knowledge here I mean awareness as the experience of the body, the experience of the soul, the experience of life, not the understanding of the mind dealing simply with information from books, people’s lips and other sources without relying on the sensual component. Similarly, love should be contrasted with anger and joy with sorrow. Intuition should be considered a typical case of awareness, which is timed to the knowledge of something concrete. The sixth sense, as it is easy to guess, is connected with the action of the will and is located behind love, being as if closest to the Power, the spirit and further away from the mind. Thus, the five senses are connected with our particular world and are quite well known to people. The sixth sense seems to represent the world of Power and is poorly known to ordinary people. It is less connected with the ego, and I will not dwell on it. However, its allocation and its estimate is very useful in the analysis of self condition here and now at searching for self wind (Chapter 5) or to evaluate the presence of the second attention.

Returning to the five basic feelings, it should be said that the main negative effect that the ego creates is that it makes the feelings of a person unbalanced, it inflates too much one of the feelings that captures the state of a person, and he loses control of himself. In addition, as a rule, the ego creates an imbalance of feelings between themselves within one day of the life of a particular person and throughout his life. In most cases, the first three feelings dominate significantly over the other two, and with age, almost at all people this situation is only aggravated. The first three feelings can be considered pessimistic, and the other two —optimistic, but in any case should not be assumed that some feelings are bad, and the other good. Each of these feelings, depending on the situation, can both kill and save your life. The five senses in their development sequentially replace each other, ultimately leading to the sixth sense, which brings true knowledge (awareness, experience of the body, which in common parlance is often called life experience). In my experience, I have repeatedly found that all these five feelings can be observed sequentially in one situation at a particular person, when it comes to breaking his ego here and now. Victory over the ego begins with joy and it is better if is in the form of laughing over yourself. To bring yourself or another person in the same situation to joy is undoubtedly a great success, because it allows for a short period of time to be convinced of the existence of the ego and the change of perception here and now, the possibility of changing the view of the same situation. The changeability and expression of feelings in the same situation is so obvious, clear and bright that it allows to speak not about one specific position of the assemblage point corresponding to the human ego, but about five different positions located one after another in the immediate vicinity. The first three pessimistic feelings can be attributed to the ego area, and the other two are located as if behind this area. Most likely, the position of the assemblage point, which the seers called the place of anxiety, or concern, just corresponds to the fear, which begins with the ego and almost all the problems of any person. Seers meant anxiety and concern primarily concern for self and in support of this it should be noted that, indeed, fear for self, for self physical condition, for self authority, for solving self problems, for self loved ones, etc. we experience almost constantly. It is obvious that love, as the fifth sense, corresponds to altruism and does not correspond to the ego in any way. When love is accompanied by strong jealousy, envy and other negative qualities, which in addition are reflected in the actions, then we should talk about the denigration of love by egoism. Love is a rather subtle feeling, which implies attachment to a certain person or people, nature and care for him, them or it. But this feeling very often becomes unbalanced in the form of obsession, madness, various kinds of violence (physical, forced care, forced doing good, etc.), which again is a consequence of the influence of the human ego. Therefore, to talk about the victory over the ego at the point of joy or at the point of love can only here and now. Speaking of feelings, should also mention the feeling of the offence and irritation that often occur on the way of a warrior. State of offence and state of irritation are purely energy states and can respectively be felt in the body, as specific kind of energy, which can be banished from bodies or dissipated with the help certain action, which the true I (energy body) can prompt you. Obviously, irritation corresponds to anger, and offence is a combination of several basic feelings.

In general, a pure victory, but not a final one, over the ego lies in shifting the assemblage point to a place without pity, in which the continuity of the mind is torn, the idea of man about himself and the world as something solid and unchanging. Anyone who has shifted the assemblage point to a place without pity surely knows that continuity restores again, if not to maintain the quality of pitilessness (meaning the lack of pity for self’s and other people’s weaknesses, habits), which is acquired in this position of the assemblage point. However, if a person consciously sought this position of the assemblage point because of dissatisfaction with ordinary life in society or because of attempts to break out of the vicious circle that creates the pressure of society, then his attitude to himself and the world remains changed for a long time, given the fact that the circumstances of the life path of such person support this quality in him due to the action of the spirit. This is the beginning of the path of freedom, although such a drop from the social circle (ego-park;)) is often painful. Don Juan said that the warrior to finally move into the world of magic of the second attention must completely build a new continuity, and for this he must completely discard the old one and this is the most dramatic episode in the life of a warrior and it can take many years (remember how don Juan left the house of the Nagual Julian, got a family and lived a normal life for many years, until the hopelessness and grayness of such life killed his personality).

Let is consider the basic essence of the ego and its two forms: the sense of self-importance (I am a tyrant, general) and the sense of self-worthlessness, or self-pity (I am a victim, a subordinate). If we compare these two forms of ego and the basic feelings, it is obvious that the sense of self-importance corresponds more to anger, and the sense of self-worthlessness corresponds to sorrow. Fear can be present there and there, but it is largely associated with thoughts, with internal dialogue, so the position of fear is closest to the place of the mind and with it begins the manifestation of the human ego. Although the ego is more associated with anger and sadness, it can make any feelings unbalanced. The mechanism of the emergence of the ego is the conscious or unconscious ignoring of internal uncalm (tension, excitement in the lower abdomen, where the will is located; general excitement, anxiety, concern) in any action. Outwardly, it manifests in excessive involvement in what is happening (the expression of self in the surrounding, self ego, a sense of self-importance) or excessive detachment from what is happening, self-acceptance, if pity is not hidden (a sense of self-worthlessness). It manifests largely in anxiety for what is happening within, for yourself in the present and future (I worry about myself, what will they think about me, how me need to behave, me can scold, beat; I must intervene – it would be better for me or for someone else, so right or should I not intervene, nothing depends on me, I’ll just make it worse). It manifests, for example, even in such small things, when you deliberately try not to notice the person, not to show interest first because of the reluctance to seem simple, easily accessible; try to be invisible, detached because of the reluctance to interact because of fear or bias, while the situation has to interact; react irritated, dissatisfied, speak in a commanding tone for no good reason or because people behave stupidly or unintentionally distract you from work, thinking. The sense of self-importance, as the first form of ego, occurs more often in society and expresses in the nurturing of self ego, self-esteem, self-fixation and irresponsibility to yourself and the world: I am what I am, do and say what I want, and I do not care about the consequences. It is often based on an excessive desire for independence. In ordinary life, it begins with the desire to separate from parents.

When a sense of self-importance is hurt, internal uncalm builds up like a snowball. One restless action entails another, often ending in exhaustion. Along the way, a person clings others. In an attempt to ignore (unwillingness to be aware, often, for reasons I do not want to strain, I do not want to be aware, attentive, responsible to myself and others, in general, what I want, then I do and I do not care about the consequences) internal uncalm (tension, excitement in the lower abdomen, where the will is located; general anxiety, concern without good reason) appear and support bad habits (smoking and alcohol, as a means of appeasement of internal uncalm, leaving from it, unwillingness to aware self unrest and deal with it, pulling self together, which can be caused by fear, anger or sadness in connection with some life problems, general dissatisfaction with life, some person, situation, event in the past or future, etc.; game addiction as a psychological discharge and then provoking excitement, as internal excitation, giving a strong focus on process and a distraction from thoughts and problems, and a temporary feeling of fullness of life or youth because of a sense of lightness and fun before defeat as exhaustion and self-pity, or winning with cherishing self pride and justify self addiction; drug addiction, as an attempt to experience new sensations, as insatiability, or to escape from reality, as the fear of real life or discontent with it, unrest because of the state of things, the state of affairs). The same origin, which outwardly takes the form of a sense of self-importance in the form of instruction, impudence, desire to dominate, rule, etc. has many personal conflicts. All habits and other repetitive actions (action-pattern) support something inside (some thought, idea, feeling) and represent a kind of neurotic symptom, having with it a similar origin: in some situation in the past there was an internal uncalm (such as fear, anger, desire, attraction, required satisfaction, discharge, exit in the form of action), which was not awared and resulted in a highly distorted action to the detriment of yourself and/or others. The origins must be sought in child or school age with the help of psychoanalysis or of the recapitulation.

When the sense of self-importance is revealed, the endless self-defense of the ego begins by all means (distortion of the truth, leading the conversation to another direction, accusing another). When self-defense is broken, self-incrimination begins. Sometimes to transfer a sense of self-importance in its true nature in the form of self-pity is extremely difficult, and it can require an enormous effort and several days of struggle, even with assistance, especially if you are a stalker and you tend of life gently and quietly to fix the image of yourself (yourself ego). In fact, the stronger a person is, the more personal power (free energy) he has, the stronger usually his sense of self-importance. If you reveal someone’s sense of self-importance, and you manage during a long conversation to break all the drunken (biased) and untrue arguments and accusations, to overcome inadequate feelings and antics in the form of irritation, discontent, anger, gloating, irony, sarcasm, etc., that accompany the conversation, to remain unaffected and translate a sense of self-importance in self-pity, it is a great success. And ideally you need to get to the point when at a person will wake up adequate feelings or pour tears (he’ll stop protecting the ego), when the cold mind will be defeated and will thaw his heart, he will attract to you or trust you, in general, will not afraid of the truth and be ready go to contact. Then we can assume that at this time the sense of self-importance has defeated, but it is only a battle, although not unimportant. If you break your or someone’s sense of self-importance, it is necessary to know that overcoming self-defense and then self-pity begins with the recognition of the truth to yourself, sober (objective) assessment of your feeling, habit, weakness, obsession and elimination of the problem by understanding what serious importance you (or someone) attached to this action, zealously protecting it, then it is best to laugh at yourself and then remove the importance of this action by ruthless attitude. The best cure for a sense of self-importance and the sadness that accompanies exposing the action associated with it is laughing at yourself.

Overcoming the ego in everyday actions should begin with the establishment that you have more dominates – a sense of self-importance (optimism; a tendency to haste; impatience; synthesis, as a kind of thinking and as impulsive actions without thinking; overestimation of self-esteem) or a sense of self-worthlessness (pessimism, a tendency to slowness; excessive patience or expectation; analysis, as a kind of thinking and thinking actions; underestimation of self-esteem). Next, you need to soberly adjust your behavior: whether you make too many actions in the environment (you are too much) and then you should focus on internal calm, whether you prefer inaction (you are lacking in the surrounding environment) and then you should drag yourself by the ears, overcome your laziness, secrecy, fears and act whenever the surrounding touches you, requires your intervention or participation, challenges you, focusing on increasing intensity of awareness (attention, perception, see below). You also need to determine to whom you are more demanding (ruthless), to yourself or others, and change the attitude to yourself and to others, to everywhere there will be harmony without excessive softness and without excessive hardness. In the process of overcoming the sense of self-importance (worthlessness), your attitude may change over time, so you need to be constantly alert to yourself (hunt down yourself).

The complete overcoming of the ego in any action leads to the displacement of the assemblage point in a place without pity, in which the mirror of self-reflection (the pattern of self-importance) is broken, which leads to a deep revision of the person’s attitude to himself and the world around him. In this position, the assemblage point a person acquires (temporarily, if not supports), pitilessness (sobriety, concentration), as the lack of pity to self and other people`s weaknesses, habits, loops, connection with the spirit through a sense of pressure in the field of the connecting link (will, lower abdomen) and the ability to quickly and radically change self behavior at any time when feeling pressure, changing the abstract outcome of the situation in the form of avoiding the loss of free energy due to the fixation of himself (self ego) in this action. Pitilessness is the first and main principle of the path of the warrior