Читать книгу The 'Piping Times' - John Jeffery Farnol - Страница 4

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IT was in those halcyon days before the invention of the infernal internal combustion engine and consequently before war had darkened the skies or scarred the earth; when masculine collars were high, wages correspondingly low, and silk hats went bobbing Citywards with umbrella and newspaper to the routine of train and office; when Woman, called The Fair or Weaker Sex, not content with the charming amplitude bestowed by nature, wore monstrosities called ‘bustles’, and laced in their tender sides to a twelve-or-fourteen-inch waist; when Parliament, for lack of more important affairs, rampaged over Home Rule ... In such carefree time upon an early June morning, to be precise,—at exactly four and a half minutes past nine o’clock, Justin Hereward Wade-Orrington, known by express command to his familiars as ‘Tom’, indited the following, extremely fateful letter:

“Respected and dear (up to a point) Sir,

“That you are my father and progenitor is a misfortune beyond my powers to repair. However, since early boyhood I have done my best to put up with you, and, to my own astonishment, have succeeded passably well until to-day, this June 2nd, 18——. For this morning, by letter, upon the hitherto uncomplaining back of the patient camel (myself) you laid the ultimate straw in the form of Helena Marchioness of Dorincourt. Wherefore now the filial soul rebels at last, your only son and heir (again myself, alas) makes his exit from these hoary ancestral walls of cloistered and silken ease to front Destiny unaided and alone. In thus taking leave of Abbey-Merivale and yourself, I would humbly submit that, esteeming you as a Public Character and Society Ornament, I deplore you as a parent, in which capacity I must regard you as a very Positive Mistake.

“With which, sir, pray know me for

“your abused, disabused, perfectly assured son