Читать книгу The Case of the Vampire Cat - John R. Erickson - Страница 7

Chapter Two: Loper Melts a Water Pipe

Well, at least he was kind and decent enough to let us ride in the cab with him, although it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d made us ride in the back.

He has this strange theory, you see, that snow makes dogs wet and wet dogs stink. I’ve tested that theory myself and I can report that it just doesn’t hold water, so to speak. If you ask me, wet cowboys stink, but nobody ever asks my opinion.

He let us ride in the front, and we made our way through the snow and ice to headquarters. Along the way, we passed several bunches of cows. Their backs were covered with snow, and they were humped up and facing away from the north wind. And every time they breathed, which was fairly often, their breath made fog in the air.

Yes, it was a cold, miserable day, and according to the weather report Slim picked up on the radio, the day promised to get even colder and miserabler.

When he heard the report, he pressed his lips together and shook his head. “And I have to face all that without a cup of coffee.”

We pulled around in front of the machine shed and came to a stop beside the water well. Loper was there, doing something with the cutting torch, and whatever he was doing didn’t appear to be bringing him much happiness. He wore a frown.

Slim watched him for a moment. “Plumbing froze up?”

Loper looked up from his work. “Yeah. You got any cute remarks about it?”

“No, only that if you’d take the time to wrap them pipes when it’s warm, they wouldn’t freeze up when it’s cold.”

“No kidding? Thanks.” He went back to heating the pipe with the torch.

“This happens every year, Loper. A good ranch manager would catch on after a while. You’ll notice that my pipes don’t freeze. That’s because I take care of my business.”

What? I stared at Slim and thumped my tail on the seat. Unless I had heard him wrong, he had just told a big whopper of a lie. His water pipes HAD frozen up, that very morning.

Slim’s gaze shifted to me. “Hush. What he don’t know won’t help him.” Back to Loper. “You know, Loper, I was thawing out pipes with a torch one time and burned a hole in the pipe. Boy, that sure makes a mess.”

Loper turned off the torch and came over to the window. “Do you want to do it?”

“Not really.”

“Good. I’ll do it and you can either watch or go do something constructive, but don’t sit there in a warm pickup and give me advice.”

“Well, you don’t need to get snarly about it. I was just trying to help.”

“Thanks. When I need your advice on plumbing, I’ll give you a call. We’ve got phones, you know.”

“I know how you operate, Loper: slam-bang and always in a rush. That’s the wrong way to thaw out pipes.”

Loper went back to the torch, shaking his head and talking to himself. “No wonder you’re still a bachelor. No woman could stand you in the morning.”

“Well, you ain’t such a sugar cake yourself, if you want to know the truth, and I’ve often wondered how Sally May has put up with you all these years.”

Loper started the torch again and tuned in the flame. “She’s a very lucky woman and she knows it.”

“That’s too much fire, Loper.”

“Just hush, Slim. Control yourself for two minutes and I’ll have this thing thawed out, and then we’ll find some little job for you to . . .”

By George, he struck water.

Slim shook his head. “I tried to tell you.”

Loper shut off the torch and threw it down in the snow and came storming over to the window. “Get me a hacksaw with a sharp blade, and don’t say one more word. It was a sorry pipe to start with.”

Slim got out. “Sure it was. What are you going to fix it with, bubble gum?”

Loper was scrambling to shut off the main water valve. “Get me one of those compression joints off the workbench. And if it’s not too much trouble, why don’t you hurry.”

It took ’em an hour to fix the pipe. They had to cut out the bad section with a hacksaw. The blade was not sharp. I could have predicted that. This ranch has never had a sharp hacksaw blade. I think they buy dull blades at a special store.

Once they got the pipe cut out, the rest was fairly easy. They slipped the compression joint over both ends and tightened them down. They pressured up the lines, stopped all the leaks, and hollered down for Sally May to turn on a faucet.

She did. It worked. The job was done, and Slim and Loper had managed to do it without any bloodshed. Sally May even brought out cups of coffee for the “heroes,” as she called them.

I waited to see if Slim would admit that this was his first cup of the morning, and then explain why, but he didn’t.

Well, the boys put up their tools and stood at the door of the machine shed, sipping their coffee and watching the snow come down.

“Well, what do you reckon?” asked Loper.

“Radio says more this afternoon and tonight. It’s liable to take us all day to feed and bust ice.”

“I think what we’d better do is split up. I’ll take the flatbed and get Sally May to drive for me, and we’ll feed hay up north. You take the old pickup down to the Hodges’ Place and feed there. You probably better use the army truck, bad as those roads are liable to be.”

Slim nodded. “What if it won’t start?”

“Well . . . why don’t you take Alfred? He can pull you. He’s done that before, and then he can drive while you string out the feed.”

“Okay with me, but his momma might not go for the idea of me taking him off in a snowstorm, and I’ve got a few questions about that myself. I’d hate to get stranded with him along.”

Loper chuckled. “Why, he’s a nice boy, Slim. You two would have a ball together.”

“I know he’s a nice boy. That ain’t the problem. I just hate being responsible for somebody else’s child in a storm.”

Loper gazed up at the clouds. “Well, I think we’re going to need all the help we can get today. I’ll clear it with his momma. Oh, and you can take the dogs.”

“Thanks a bunch. Two wet dogs and one urchin child ought to fix me right up.”

Loper went back to the house to organize the troops. Slim finished his coffee and then pulled the flatbed pickup around to the hay lot and started loading it up for Loper. The snow was coming down harder than ever.

While I looked for mice under the bales, Drover stood out in the snow, shivering and moaning.

“Oh Hank, I’m so cold! I wish I could go back to bed.”

“Drover, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”

“I don’t know what that means, and I’m freezing!”

“It means that if you could turn your fondest wish into a horse, you could . . . I don’t know, give some beggar a ride into town, I guess.”

“Where would you go to find a beggar in this weather?”

“Well, you’d just . . . how should I know? Quit asking silly questions and catch some mice.”

“I don’t even know what a beggar is, and I’m too cold to care.”

“A beggar, son, is one who begs.”

“One what?”

“One beggar. A beggar is one beggar who begs. That’s simple enough.”

“Why are they going to town?”

“Because they . . . I don’t know. They need a horse, I guess.”

“I thought horses lived in the country.”

“They do live in the country but . . . never mind, Drover, just never mind. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“Oh, that’s okay, but I’m still freezing.”

After that, I stayed as far away from Drover as I could. Just being close to him made me feel goofy.

Little Alfred arrived on the scene just then. He was all dressed up in a red snowsuit, red mittens, snow boots, and a wool stocking cap.

Slim got the hay loaded, just about the time Loper and Sally May and Baby Molly arrived. Alfred had been cleared by Headquarters to go with us to the Hodges’ Place, but Sally May still had quite a bit of advice to give Slim about being careful.

Then we all said good-bye and went our separate ways. Loper and his bunch went north to feed hay, and Slim and our bunch loaded up in the old blue pickup and headed south.

When we passed Miss Viola’s house down the creek, Slim honked his horn and said, “That’s where my petunia lives.” We didn’t see his petunia, but her two dogs, Black and Jack, came ripping out of the driveway and barked at us.

Well, you know me. I don’t take such things lightly. I sprang to the window and barked back at them, and if the window glass hadn’t been rolled up, I probably would have thrashed them both, right there in the middle of the county road.

Nothing makes me madder than . . .

Hmmm. Slim stopped the pickup and opened his door, and then he said to me . . . I think he was addressing me . . . he said, “You really want a piece of those dogs?”

I, uh . . . no, that was okay. There was no actual law against . . . heck, as long as they just barked and didn’t . . . no, we’d let it slide this time.

In other words, no thanks.

“Then hush.” He slammed his door and started off again.

Fine. I could handle that. Hushing had never been a problem for me.