Читать книгу Clergy Sexual Misconduct - John Thoburn Thoburn - Страница 21

The process of restoration, recovery, and reconciliation is long and arduous. The problem is daunting just in terms of the sheer numbers of clergy battling sexual misconduct. If there are 600,000 clergy and 10–14 percent are acting out, that is 60,000 to 75,000 clergy who need intervention (Thoburn & Balswick, 1998). Add to that the reality that recovery is resource intensive in terms of labor, time, and money. The proverb “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is particularly apropos to the issue of clergy sexual misconduct. The key to dealing with this problem cannot lie solely in treatment, since clergy sexual misconduct is both a personal and systemic phenomenon. A comprehensive model must provide for prevention and education measures regarding sexual integrity and health throughout the Church system.

Prevention of clergy sexual misconduct is, at its core, a spiritual and relational issue, although other significant contributing factors need to be considered. These factors include the pastor’s neurological wiring, personality formation, and relationship dynamics, such as attachment, intimacy, and vulnerability. From a spiritual perspective, prevention is comprised of four interlocking components: call, formation, direction, and support.

If a pastor’s career is felled by clergy sexual misconduct in the midst of his service to the Church, the seeds of this tragic outcome generally were sown far earlier in his life (see chapter 3). Most people enter the ministry from a sense of calling; that is, they feel that God has specifically called them forth to be a leader of His people. At the outset, clergy need to determine if their call is valid. It’s estimated that one-third of clergy are in the wrong field. As a result, their work in the Church in the role of pastor may be harmful to congregations and to themselves. Those who are likely to have trouble in the future are initially attracted to the ministry often to soothe feelings of latent guilt, shame, and unworthiness, or they feel pressure to fulfill the vicarious dreams of a parent. Some people grew up in addictive families and were the family peacemakers. As adults, they become attracted to environments where crisis is the norm. People with addictive personalities can become addicted to religion, and the ministry can be a natural outgrowth of addictive behavior. The ministry can feed narcissistic attributes as individuals seek out leadership roles in the Church. Some people are comfortable relating in pseudo-intimacy to crowds (a congregation) but not to individuals.

Assessment needs to occur at the time of seminary to detect unhealthy or dysfunctional motivations for entering ministry. As Laaser notes in chapter 3, assessment must be clinically as well as objectively focused. The roots of later problems are often nuanced or shrouded behind multigenerational family histories; therefore, care must be taken to do a comprehensive assessment at the beginning of a potential pastor’s career, not in the middle. Those who pathologically fit the personality profile for potential misconduct need to be gently but firmly redirected in their career goals.

Seminaries and denominations must devote themselves to the spiritual formation of their clergy and to ongoing spiritual direction in their lives. Seminary students are immersed in theology and practical ministry education, but they are given little attention in the way of personal spiritual formation, developing personal resiliency and effective relationship skills. When the early Church sent Paul home to grow, in spite of seeing results from his preaching, they set a precedent worth heeding by the contemporary Church: Make sure your clergy candidates are spiritually prepared before releasing them into ministry (Acts 9:26–30).

If call and formation are vital at the beginning of ministry, direction is just as important in the ongoing spiritual life and ministry of the pastor. Ministers do not have many intimate outlets or sources for personal spiritual growth. Many tend to rely on Bible study and prayer, alone in their prayer closets. The reality is that God is a God of relationships. He created us to be in relationship with Him and with each other, and he sent His Son to restore relationship with us when it was broken. Spiritual direction is about a pastor having a relationship with support programs and resources that will help him grow up in the faith through intimacy, vulnerability, and accountability. These resources can be administered through the Oversight Team. Specific focus areas can include the provision of spiritual mentors, training for personal and relationship development, peer support groups, regularly scheduled spiritual respite, and recreational retreats. While most clergy are happy in their roles, denominational leadership needs to intentionally instruct the local Church in how to be a community of balance. The people who are most at risk for burnout and sexual misconduct have similar dynamics: they are often anxious, overachieving, intensely insecure at their core, and have narcissistic features. Burnout is generally the direct result of overcommitment to ministry. Burnout results from a combination of the pastor giving in to the unrealistic expectations of the congregation, while attempting to compensate for personal feelings of unworthiness and fears of rejection. These are key attributes of codependent patterns and roles often learned as coping strategies in the family of origin. When a minister is overextended in one area, such as ministry, he may become under-extended in another area, such as marriage and family life. He can become prone to being out of balance, relating to others solely in the ministerial role as counselor, shepherd, or staff leader. Being out of balance can lead to inappropriate emotional relationships that can become sexualized. The Church tends to recognize that pastors need sabbaticals for further theological education, but the Church needs to also provide ongoing formats for Sabbath time for the pastor to become revitalized. Clergy members need guidance on how to restore balance when it has been lost, focus on life issues that have been diluted, and cultivate a renewed sense of self in Christ.

It is crucial to provide a comprehensive and systemic approach to intervention, treatment, and ongoing care for leaders. At the same time, it is essential to be proactive and forthright in broadly addressing this issue within the Church. Sexuality is an area that the Church tends to downplay, yet it is a vital part of the human condition. Forty-four percent of churchgoers want to hear more scriptural teaching from their pastors on the subject of sex, and 22 percent of pastors feel they should spend more time on the topic (Moeller, 2005). Yet, very little time is spent on the topic in seminary training for clergy. Support and care groups for parishioners in the Church often deal with almost every area of life except this one.

Education of clergy and congregations alike on issues related to transference and countertransference is vital. Transference occurs when one person transfers onto another deeply held feelings for significant others in his or her past. These feelings may be positive or negative, but they are powerful and the end result is the person is not able to see and relate to the other person realistically; to feel love for the transference object—a love that is often sexualized in fantasy or fact. Countertransference is the feelings the other person has when a transference is made to him or her. People such as doctors, psychologists, and counselors who are in positions of care or authority often are objects of transference. Pastors direct parishioners in one of the most intimate areas of their lives, spirituality, and they care for parishioners during the most intimate moments of their lives—sacramental moments, birth, marriage, new life, and death. If the pastor does not understand the love feelings from the members of his congregation for what they are, he is at risk to think the feelings are about him and, if he is in a vulnerable position, might possibly develop counter feelings of his own and act on them. Doctors, psychologists, and counselors are intentionally trained to recognize and deal with patient-client transference and their own countertransference. Amazingly, there is rarely if ever any training for pastors on this issue and it is essential. The issue of the abuse of power (Garland, 2011) in the pastorate, in most cases, stems directly from a lack of understanding of the relational dynamics of transference and countertransference on the part of the pastor. The Church tends to live a life based around family dynamics (the household of the faith); therefore, this issue is especially relevant in Church life. Both the seminary and the Church must train their pastors in this dynamic, and it is in the best interests of the Church at large that all parishioners be trained to recognize this dynamic (Thoburn & Whitman, 2004).

In a more open and supportive environment, the shame that propels problematic sexual behavior can be dispelled (John 8:32). It is important to establish education and support formats to address and monitor the risk for sexual addiction. It is equally, if not more significantly, a necessity to have educational formats and resources to cultivate sexual integrity and healthy intimacy for individuals, couples, and families in the Church (see chapters 12 and 13 for more information). Integrating these priorities into the mission of the Church is the best intervention for problematic sexual behavior and its devastation. This approach significantly redirects God’s gift of sexuality to enable a healthy and resilient Church for the long term.