Talkers: With Illustrations

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John Bate. Talkers: With Illustrations

PREFACE

I. THE MONOPOLIST

II. THE FALSE HUMOURIST

III. THE FLATTERER

IV. THE BRAWLER

V. THE MISCHIEF-MAKER

VI. THE PLEONAST

VII. THE SELF-DISPARAGER

VIII. THE COMMON SWEARER

IX. THE AFFECTED

X. THE STULTILOQUIST

XI. THE SLANDERER

XII. THE VALETUDINARIAN

XIII. THE WHISPERER

XIV. THE HYPERBOLIST

XV. THE INQUISITIVE

XVI. THE PEDANT

XVII. THE DETRACTOR

XVIII. THE GRUMBLER

XIX. THE EGOTIST

XX. THE TALE-BEARER

XXI. THE ASSENTER

XXII. THE LIAR

XXIII. THE CENSORIOUS

XXIV. THE DOGMATIST

XXV. THE ALTILOQUENT

XXVI. THE DOUBLE-TONGUED

XXVII. THE DUBIOUS

XXVIII. THE SUSPICIOUS

XXIX. THE POETIC

XXX “YES” AND “NO.”

XXXI. A GROUP OF TALKERS

XXXII. A MODEL TALKER

Отрывок из книги

The Monopolist enters into conversation with plenitude of speech enough to make one think he has obtained a royal patent to do so. He talks without much regard to what he says, or how he says it. Give him your attention in the least degree, and he will show no lack of will or power to surfeit you. It is not because he has anything to say worth your hearing that he keeps up his talk, but only from his strange love of talking. His conversation consists mainly in the exercise of his tongue, as the faculties of his mind are generally dormant in proportion as that works. He talks so much that you need do nothing but listen. He seldom asks questions, and if he does, he cannot tarry for answers. While one is speaking he either breaks in upon his discourse, heedless of what he is saying; or he employs himself in gathering words to commence talking again. And scarcely has the speaker finished his utterance ere he begins and goes on at a rate that taxes both the ears and patience of his listener. At the festive board he is not content to do one thing at a time. He fills his mouth with food for his stomach, and with windy words for the company; which two acts done at the same time prevent necessary mastication, and produce a temporary collision of the contrary elements in his guttural organs.

Monopolist is a talker with whom I am somewhat acquainted. I have on different occasions met with him, and am, therefore, prepared to speak of him as I have found him.

.....

The pastor and Elder Judge here looked each other in the face and laughed heartily; and seemed relieved of a great burden. Instead of seeking to do his wife bodily harm, Mr. Proctor was only in pursuit of a mouse which had overreached its legitimate boundaries and found its way into a foreign territory.

Although the facts as thus discovered were ludicrous, the results might have been serious. For while the pastor and the elder were thus ascertaining the facts, the Readys, and Smiths, and a whole clique of kindred spirits with Mr. Bounce, were keeping up the circulation of the scandal; and notwithstanding the pastor and his elder instantly began to correct the mischief, it was a long time before the general impression died out that Proctor was chasing his wife with the intention of beating her. In fact, Mr. Bounce himself, and Mrs. Bounce, his wife, with several others, always believed it to the day of their death; and ever and anon tried to do a little business in it by whisperings; but they found no custom, unless with an occasional new-comer into the neighbourhood, or with some one who owed the Proctors a little spite.

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