Читать книгу Josephine Cox 3-Book Collection 2: The Loner, Born Bad, Three Letters - Josephine Cox - Страница 26

JUDY WAS HALFWAY down Derwent Street when she heard her name being called. ‘Hey, Judy! Hang on a minute!’ It was Lenny. Panting, he caught up with her. ‘Been to see Joseph, have you?’ Coming out of the door to see her there was a lovely surprise. He, Annie and Judy were all the best of friends. Annie was always much calmer in Lenny’s company, and Judy herself loved the straightforward and humorous nature of him. They all looked out for each other, and it was great.

As they walked on together, the girl told him what Joseph had said. ‘Don is in a bit of a state,’ she said.

‘So I gather,’ Lenny answered. ‘I sat on the step with Joseph the other day, and he told me how Don took it real bad about Rita and his son. From what I understand, he blames himself for what happened.’

‘I expect it will be a long time before he comes to terms with the death of Rita,’ Judy commented sadly. ‘We’ve had five years to get used to what happened, but it’s all quite fresh for him, poor man.’

‘You’re right,’ Lenny said. ‘But when he’s saved enough to carry them through, he’ll take off after Davie. By that time, things won’t be so raw, and Don will have a clearer mind.’

Judy felt content in Lenny’s company. He was so kind and sensible. ‘How’s your business going?’ she asked.

‘Really well.’ He smiled down at her. ‘I’m hoping to complete on the shop soon. It’s taken me ages to get the deposit, but the bank are helping me.’

Judy was pleased for him. ‘Davie always said you’d go up in the world.’

‘And what about you?’

‘What d’you mean?’

‘Did you think I’d go up in the world?’

‘Of course. Everyone did.’ She was utterly sincere, and his heart swelled with pride.

‘Oh, Judy,’ he burst out. ‘I’ve got such plans. And Annie, you know, she’s such a help. She works so hard, harder than any man, and all the customers love her. With her at my side, I’ll be unstoppable! Before I’m done, I mean to have a chain of shops in every major town. I’ll buy a big house on Preston New Road and fill it with beautiful furniture – made by Don.’ And it would be all for her, he thought, if only he could make her love him.

Judy was so happy for him. ‘You’ll do whatever you set out to do,’ she encouraged. ‘I just know it.’

‘Oh, and I’d love to see the world later on, see what it has to offer. I could put some responsible manager – Annie, if she’s agreeable – in charge of my shops and take off for a whole year.’

‘You might be lonely.’ Judy had always seen Lenny as a shrewd, natural businessman. But he was homegrown and proud of his town and, as far as she knew, he had never strayed outside of Lancashire.

Summoning every ounce of his courage, Lenny took her by the arm and gently drew her aside. ‘I wouldn’t be lonely if you were with me.’

Taken aback, the girl was momentarily lost for words.

‘I love you,’ he whispered urgently. ‘I’ve always loved you.’

She gave a nervous little laugh. ‘You can’t love me! Don’t talk like that, Lenny.’

‘But it’s true, and I know you feel something for me, Judy. At least, I hope so … oh, I do hope so.’

Afraid of hurting him, she said softly, ‘I like you, yes of course I do, Lenny, but as a friend.’

‘You could learn to love me though, couldn’t you?’

Unnerved and unsure, she walked on, and he went with her. ‘Lenny, I don’t know what to say,’ she told him eventually. ‘I never knew you felt like that about me, and I wish I could say I felt the same way, but I don’t … I can’t!’

Desperate now, he drew her to a halt again. ‘Is that because you love Davie, the same way I love you? Is that why you can’t love me?’

Judy took a moment to answer. ‘I didn’t realise how I felt about Davie, until he went away,’ she explained. ‘Davie was just Davie – part of my life, part of my growing up. He was always there, ever since I can remember. We were best friends, and then, after he’d gone … I felt different somehow. I didn’t understand at first, but I do now. And yes, I do love him – in the same way you say you love me. I’m sorry, Lenny. Really I am.’

‘But he might not love you in that way.’ The words were harsh.

‘I know.’

‘If he did love you, he would have been back long ago.’ Harsher still.

‘I know that too.’

‘Oh, Judy! One way or another, you’re bound to get hurt,’Lenny warned.‘If he comes back and your love isn’t returned, how will you feel then? And besides, Davie may never come back.’ In a way, Lenny wished he wouldn’t. ‘But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here, loving—’

‘Stop!’ Putting her fingers against his mouth, Judy said, ‘Please, Lenny, don’t say any more. I don’t want our friendship to be spoiled. I just want things to go on as they were … please?’

‘I’m sorry.’ He took hold of her hand and for a moment held it tight, before drawing away. ‘I don’t want to lose what we have either,’ he told her, ‘so I promise not to mention it again. But I won’t ever give up.’ He smiled, a quick bright smile that belied the bitter disappointment. ‘Deal?’

She nodded. ‘It’s a deal.’

Reaching down, he gave her a fleeting kiss on the side of her face. ‘See you later then?’

‘Yes, Lenny,’ she answered. ‘See you later.’

Another smile, then he turned on his heel and was gone.

Her mind alive with the conversation between herself and Lenny, Judy hurried away to Annie’s house. She could not rid herself of what Lenny had just told her. She went deep inside herself to find a response to his love, but there was nothing, except fondness and respect, and a long-standing friendship between herself, Lenny and Annie.

The thought of Annie brought her up sharply. Something about Annie’s face whenever she talked about Lenny, who was her boss these days, as well as her friend, made her stop and think. But then she dismissed it, because Annie would have told her if she still had designs on Lenny in that way. Oh yes, three or four years ago, when they were still at school, she had had a major crush on him, had gone all moony whenever their paths crossed, but that was then and this was now. Annie was like a moth, flitting from one boy to another, an out-and-out flirt looking for fun, and as far as Judy could tell, it never went any further than that.

However, Annie did have a serious side, though she hardly ever showed it, these days. And for Judy, that was a troublesome thing, because she had always sensed another, lonelier Annie.

Where Lenny was concerned, had he really meant what he said, about loving her, or was it just a passing fancy? But then she recalled the depth of sincerity in his eyes and the tremor in his voice when he confessed his feelings. And she knew he was deadly serious.

What if he was right? Judy asked herself fearfully. What if Davie was never to come back, and she was destined to grow old and lonely without him? Could she learn to love Lenny? Was it possible to learn to love someone?

The answer had to be no. She thought of her own parents, and their deep affection for each other; the analysis of love that Beth had given her, the night Davie had slept in their barn. Besides, she had explained the way of things to Lenny, and he had accepted it. The air was cleared between them, and they were still best friends as always. Nothing lost. Nothing gained.

And now she was at Annie’s front door about to knock, when her friend came rushing out, saying, ‘Let’s go!’ She must have seen Judy coming.

Judy followed her friend as she went at a run up the street. ‘What’s wrong? Where’s the fire?’ she called out, hurrying after her.

At the top of the street, Annie slowed down, her troubled eyes looking back towards the house. Judy thought she saw a flicker of fear in them.

‘Annie, what’s up? Are you all right?’ she asked anxiously.

They turned the corner and Annie seemed to relax, though she was still lost in a strange and sombre mood.

Judy ran in front of her and blocked her path. ‘OK what’s wrong?’

‘Dunno what you mean.’

‘Yes, you do. You came out the house as if the devil himself was after you. Somebody’s upset you, haven’t they?’

Annie hung her head and for a moment it seemed she might confide in her friend. But when she looked up again, the smileon her face was radiant. ‘Come on, you,’ she told Judy. ‘Let’s have some fun, eh?’

With that she ran on and the other girl had no choice but to run after her. ‘Hold on, you’ve got longer legs than me,’ she panted. Even though Annie had already dismissed the incident, Judy knew very well that something sinister had been going on.

Annie kept running, faster and faster, until as they came onto the canal bridge, Judy had to stop. ‘I’ve got a stitch!’ she called out. Annie was bigger and stronger, and at the minute she seemed possessed. ‘You go on. I’ll catch up in a minute.’

Realising she had almost lost control, Annie came running back. ‘I’m sorry.’ Having tried and failed to rid herself of the torment she was in, she too was exhausted. ‘I didn’t mean to run away like that.’

Snatching at every breath, Judy found she was angry. ‘Yes, you did! You’re in some kind of trouble, and you can’t trust me with the truth.’ Uprighting herself, and taking a long gulp of fresh air, Judy led the way slowly towards the canal.

Annie followed without saying a word. Inside, she was desperately wrestling with what Judy had said just now – about not trusting her with the truth. For a long time now, she had wanted to confide in her friend, but what she had to tell was so awful, she could not bring herself to burden someone else with it. ‘Look,’ she drew Judy to a stop. ‘You’re right, there is something. But I can’t tell you … not yet.’

‘All I want to do is help,’ Judy told her simply. ‘You know that, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I know, and I’m grateful.’

‘It might be easier than you think, to talk about it,’ Judy suggested. ‘You know what they say: “a trouble shared is a trouble halved”.’

Annie dismissed this. ‘All it means is that you make somebody else worry, as well as yourself,’ she said.

‘Not if that someone else can see a solution.’

‘A solution, eh? It’s that easy, is it? Well, I can tell you now, if there is a solution, it’s me that has to find it,’ Annie asserted. ‘So will you please let that be an end to it.’

‘If that’s what you really want.’ Judy shrugged. She didn’t want Annie getting agitated again. ‘I wish you could find the courage to talk about it though.’

Suddenly, an odd thought crossed the girl’s mind, taking her by surprise. Some instinct made her wonder whether this had anything to do with Lenny. Was he the problem? ‘Will you answer something?’ she enquired.

‘Depends.’ Annie was suspicious.

Judy took that as a yes. ‘Annie …’

‘Go on then, spit it out!’

‘Do you have feelings for Lenny?’

The other girl looked puzzled. ‘What kind of feelings?’

Judy felt oddly embarrassed. ‘Well … feelings of … What I mean is, do you love him? You know, the way you used to.’

Annie groaned. ‘Bugger me, girl! Whatever gave you that idea? I like him, o’course I do – otherwise I wouldn’t be working with him, would I?’ When she saw the look of relief on Judy’s face, she realised what was going on in her mind. ‘Well, I never! You think he’s at the root of my troubles, don’t you? Poor old Lenny – as if!’

‘It did cross my mind, yes,’ Judy confessed. ‘I know you had a crush on him at school, and I know you love working with him. I just wondered if you thought more of him than you were letting on, that’s all. I thought maybe he was The One.’

‘Judith Makepeace! You’ve got a vivid imagination, that’s your trouble.’ Annie gave her a playful push. ‘Besides, even if I did fancy him, it wouldn’t do me no good.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because he’s mad for you, that’s why!’

‘And has he told you that?’

‘Not in so many words, no. But he didn’t have to. I can tell. When we’re at work, it’s “Judy this” and “Judy that”.’ She laughed gaily. ‘He’s always talking about you. He sold a woman five pounds o’ potatoes the other day, when all she wanted was a cabbage – an’ that was because he was too preoccupied with singing your praises.’ She looked sideways at Judy. ‘Are you sure he hasn’t told you how mad he is about you?’

Taking a deep breath, Judy blew it out with a sigh. ‘Let’s not talk about it any more.’ She thought of Davie and said dreamily, ‘All I want is for Davie to come home.’

‘Hmh! If you ask me, you’ll have to want on!’ Annie didn’t mean to be cruel. She was just being her usual practical, heavy-footed self.

‘Why do you say that?’ It was the second time today that someone had said something hurtful like that.

‘I just think you’re making a big mistake, waiting for Davie,’ Annie answered candidly. There was no easy way to say it. ‘Think about it. He’s going on nineteen now – all grown-up like the rest of us. I reckon he’s either gone to the other side of the world, or he’s found somebody he loves. Or he’s dead. An’ if that’s the case, however much you might want to, you’ll never see hide nor hair of him again.’

Annie knew her words would hurt, but they were not meant to. All she wanted was for Judy to realise that she could end up wasting her life, waiting for Davie. A lovely girl like her deserved love and happiness, of a kind that she herself would probably never know.

They stood on the bridge, leaning over the wall and chatting, and after a while they ambled down to the water’s edge, where they sat on their coats on the grass bank and watched the barges go by. ‘I went to see Joseph earlier,’ Judy said sleepily.

‘Oh, and how is he?’

‘Bearing up as always. No news of Davie.’

‘I’m really sorry.’ And Annie meant it.

‘Joseph is sure that Don will find him one day.’ Judy then told her all about her meeting with Lenny. ‘After I left Joseph’s, Lenny came out of next door and we walked up the street together. He thinks like you – that Daviemight never come home.’

‘Did he tell you about the shop he’s buying?’

‘He did. I’m glad it’s finally getting off the ground. It’s taken a while but out of all of us, we always knew it might be Lenny who would make it rich.’

‘Hmh! He’s got a long way to go before he’s rich.’ Annie laughed out loud. ‘Especially when a customer wants a cabbage and he sells her five pounds o’ spuds!’

Judy had to chuckle at that. ‘Lenny said you were an asset to him,’ she imparted with a meaningful smile. ‘He said you were a hard worker, that you knew the business as well as he did, and that the customers had taken a shine to you.’

Secretly thrilled, Annie brushed it aside. ‘He’s just full o’ flannel,’ she said smartly. ‘That’s why he’ll do well in business.’

They sat for a while, plucking at the grass and throwing it into the water, while quietly observing the barges as they rippled past.

‘I meant what I said, Judy.’

‘What?’ The girl swung round to face her.

‘I said you were wrong in waiting for Davie, and I meant every word. You mustn’t waste your life pining over something that might never happen; especially when you’ve got someone like Lenny falling over backwards to make you notice him.’

Ready for home, Judy stood up. It was getting chilly and the light would soon be going. ‘He’s always known my feelings for Davie,’ she answered simply. ‘It’s Lenny who shouldn’t waste his life on wanting what he can’t have.’

Convinced of one thing, Annie had her say. ‘He’ll win you round in the end,’ she predicted as they made their way back to the bridge. ‘He loves you too much to let go, and like I said, Davie’s been gone too long. I don’t know of anyone who thinks he’ll come back, and if his grandad and father were to tell the truth, they probably think the same. And even if he did come back, how do you know he’s not already got someone? Face it, Jude – he could be engaged to be married, have you thought of that?’

The girl shook her head. ‘It’s not something I like to think about,’ she said, turning away. But the truth was, ever since Lenny had made the very same comments, she had thought of nothing else.

At the bottom of William Henry Street, Judy tried to persuade Annie to come home with her. ‘Mam says you can have dinner with us, if you like? She’s making a whopping great shepherd’s pie, an’ there’s plum tart for afters.’

Annie thanked her but said, ‘I’d best get back. There are things I need to do.’

‘Another day then?’

‘Yes, that would be good, thanks.’ She gave Judy a hug. ‘And don’t forget to thank your mam for me. My mouth is fair watering at what you’ll be eating tonight. I think my mam is cooking tripe – ugh – but it’s Dad’s favourite!’

Giggling, the girls parted company, with Judy going one way and Annie the other. At the corner they turned and waved.

‘See you later!’ Annie’s voice sailed down the street. With Judy gone, she felt incredibly lonely and bereft. ‘I should have stayed with her,’ she muttered.

She turned her thoughts to Judy and Davie. She so much wanted her friend to find happiness, but she doubted it would ever be with Davie. I didn’t mean to say cruel things, she thought. It’s just that I don’t want her to be lonely. One of us being lonely is more than enough. This made her laugh wryly, though she felt more like crying.

She stayed for a few more minutes, letting the thoughts run through her mind – good thoughts, bad thoughts, and all of them disturbing,

‘You were right, Jude,’ she murmured. ‘I do love Lenny. I love him so much it hurts. I work with him, I talk with him, and we laugh together – and all the time he’s longing for you. He tells me how much he loves you, and I desperately want it to be me he loves, but it isn’t and it never will be.’

Nothing in her sorry life was as bad as knowing she could not make Lenny love her. But if she couldn’t have his love, she didn’t want him to be hurt. ‘Please love him back, Judy,’ she prayed. ‘I know you won’t be sorry. You’ll come to love him in the end, you won’t be able to help yourself. I know how much you long for Davie to come home but with him gone, you will never find better than Lenny. He’s a lovely bloke. He’ll cherish and love you, and take care of you for the rest of your life.’

When tears threatened, she got up and walked on, in the chilly evening air. I’m no good for him, she thought sadly. I’m no good for anyone. Maybe I’m not meant to be happy. But I don’t mind, not really. I’ve been unhappy for so long it doesn’t matter to me any more.

‘Hi, Annie!’ Lenny had walked straight out of her mind and onto the pavement before her. ‘I’ve been calling from across the street,’ he said as he came towards her. ‘You seemed miles away.’

Her heart racing, Annie managed a bright smile. ‘Lenny!’ He was the last person she expected to see, the first person she wanted to see. Her spirits rose immediately. ‘What have you been up to?’

‘Well, as it happens, I’ve been looking at the beginnings of my empire.’

She laughed. ‘Oh, I see. You’ve been to see the new shop?’

‘Yes. And this is the first time I’ve seen it completely empty. I didn’t realise how much work needs doing. The storerooms upstairs are a disaster, and there isn’t an inch downstairs that doesn’t need attention – rotting wood, paintwork chipping, and in places it needs new floorboards. God knows what else I might uncover.’ He made a little-boy face. ‘I don’t suppose you could give me a few ideas, could you – being a woman and all that?’

‘What … you mean mop the floor and wash the walls, and then if I’ve time, check the plumbing and happen fix a new sink in the back? Will that do, sir? Or is there more?’ It was odd how her heart sang when she was with him.

He mimicked her mood. ‘Well, we already know for a fact there’s more to do than mop the floor and get stuck into a bit of plumbing.’ He laughed. ‘Why don’t I let you renew the roof and rewire the entire place while you’reat it?’

‘All right then …’ Annie got serious. ‘What did you have in mind?’ Whatever it was, it was nothing like what she had in mind, that was for sure.

‘I just need to talk over my ideas with you, about colour schemes, shelving and layout – that sort of thing?’

‘Well, yeah, o’ course. I’d enjoy that. When were you thinking?’

His face lit up. ‘If you’re not doing anything right now, I’ve got the key.’ Digging into his pocket he took out a long iron key and waved it under her nose.

‘Wouldn’t it be better if you asked Judy?’ Annie said carefully.

‘Not yet, not until it’s all finished. I want it to be a surprise.’

‘I see.’ She could come and do the donkey work, but Judy wouldn’t have to lift a finger. But Annie didn’t blame anyone. It was only what she might have expected.

‘So, will you come with me now and look it over?’ he said eagerly. ‘Can I steal a few minutes of your time?’

Annie didn’t need asking twice. In fact, if Lenny wanted to ‘steal’ the rest of her life, it would be his for the taking.

They spent a full hour in the shop. ‘You were right,’ Annie said, stepping over a jutting floor-board. ‘It is a disaster.’

But the two of them had great ideas, and taking out a pencil, Lenny drew a plan on the wall. ‘I see it like this.’ He sketched out his ideas.

Annie then sketched her ideas, and together they worked out the perfect layout for the shop. Afterwards he took her for a bite to eat and coffee at the nearby Wimpy Bar and the ideas continued to flow, until he walked her to the tram-stop, where they waved cheerio.

With Annie safely on her way, Lenny went to the pub, where he continued making notes and plans, and before he realised it, the time had run away with him. In jaunty mood, grateful for Annie’s help and deeply satisfied with his day’s work, he made his way home under the stars.

As he came up the street, yawning and ready for bed, Lenny saw the figure of a man climbing out of a car outside his home; in the lamp light, he recognised the tall man in the long dark overcoat. What was he doing here?

Over the past few years – ever since he’d left school, really, he’d become aware of this man taking an interest in him. If they passed in the High Street, the man would nod and Lenny would acknowledge him. But they never spoke. It was strange, the boy thought. Almost as if he should know him, although he didn’t. Ron and Patsy (he no longer called them ‘Mam’ and ‘Dad’) had never mentioned him … Oh well, Lenny thought tiredly. It was one of life’s little mysteries. He had enough on his plate at the moment, to bother worrying about that.

However, as he came further down the street, a deeper memory was triggered from his boyhood. This same man had called round to the house once. He could hazily recall his mother arguing with the man, and another time he had found them whispering downstairs. He remembered how nervous his mother became, when he asked her who the man was. From that day to this, he had never again seen the man at the house. Until now.

Instinctively, he backed into the shadows. There was no mistaking him: it was the same man. Who was he? What did he want with the Reynolds family? Lenny’s curiosity was heightened. If he had come to see Ron, he would be unlucky. When the visitor was let into the house, Lenny carefully started forward. Ron was over at a mate’s house, helping him build a shed in the yard, and if he ran true to form, he wouldn’t be rolling home for ages yet.

Suddenly, though he did not know why, it was important to Lenny to know why the man was here.

Taking out his key, he slid it quietly into the front-door lock and turned it; with trepidation he pushed open the door and softly closed it behind him.

Already he could hear raised voices coming from the sitting room. ‘You’d best give me what I’m owed,’ his mother was saying angrily, ‘or I’ll shout thetruth from the roof tops – and then what will you do, eh?’ She gave a low, harsh laugh.

The man’s contemptuous answer was enough to stem the laughter. ‘You silly bitch! You can shout and yell all you like, and I won’t give a bugger!’

‘What are you talking about?’ Shocked by his defiance, she demanded, ‘I want my money. That was the agreement, and as far as I’m concerned, nothing’s happened to change it.’

‘You bloody fool, you’re not listening! Can’t you understand what I’m trying to tell you? She’s left me. Janette found the letters we exchanged and now she’s gone – and she’s taken young Charlie with her. Worse than that, she told her father and he’s pulled the rug from under me. He’s kicked me out of the family business, and taken back the house we’ve lived in all these years.’

‘You’re lying, Stuart. Now hand over my money!’

Lenny heard a scuffle. Then: ‘LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING!’ The man’s voice broke in a kind of sob. ‘I’ve got nothing – no family, no home and without references, no job. So don’t ask me for money, because thanks to you, I’ve got none!’

There was the sound of another scuffle, and of furniture falling over. ‘GET OUT BEFORE I TAKE THE POKER TO YOU!’ Patsy roared. Her voice shaking with rage, she warned him, ‘You haven’t heard the last of this by any means. We had an agreement and by God, if you know what’s best for you, you’ll find what’s owed me. I don’t care where you get it. Just make sure you bring it before the end of the week.’

‘And if I can’t?’

‘Well, now …’ Her voice was slimy-wicked. ‘It isn’t just your wife and father-in-law who think you’re the worst kind of scum. There’s somebody else who might want to knock seven bells out of you when he knows the truth – or have you forgotten?’

‘No. I haven’t forgotten,’ the man called Stuart said tiredly. ‘In fact, that’s the other reason I’m here.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Lenny’s mother sounded suspicious.

‘It means I have to start again from scratch, and I don’t like the idea of doing it all by myself. And besides, I’ve been watching him. He’s a good strong fellow, with a clever head on his shoulders, and I understand he’s bought the old tailor’s shop on the High Street. Oh yes, I’m sure the two of us will work together very well.’

‘So that’s it. You’re still the same cunning bastard you’ve always been!’ Now, she was bundling him into the passageway; though as yet neither of them had seen Lenny standing there against the wall in the shadow of the hallstand. ‘It’s not Lenny you’re after at all, is it, eh? You’ve seen how he’s making good, and you want a piece of it.’ She laughed in his face.‘Once he knows about you, he’ll be so disgusted he won’t even want to shake your hand, never mind work with you!’ She gave him a mighty shove. ‘It were me as brought him up, wiped his backside and washed his smelly socks, and it’s me who’ll have first call on whatever fortune he makes. So bugger off, and don’t come back, or—’

She was shocked to her roots when Lenny stepped out. ‘My God, Len, it’s you. Christ – you gave me a fright. I didn’t see you there …’ Flustered, she took the man by the arm, and smiled her best. ‘This is Stuart Fitzwilliam, an old friend of me and your dad,’ she told Lenny. ‘He’s just leaving. I’ll see him out … you go inside, son.’

His face set sternly, Lenny blocked her way. ‘Who is he, Mam?’ His voice was ice-cold. ‘What is he to me?’

‘Nobody! Nothing!’ She had never seen Lenny look at her like that before, and she was shaken. ‘Like I said, he’s just a friend.’

Lenny addressed himself to the man. ‘Who are you?’

‘I think you know.’ There was a certain satisfaction in the man’s voice. ‘I’m your father. I’ve come to take you away from her, back with me. You don’t belong here, in this squalid dump. You never did.’

Lenny took stock of him, this respectable-looking, smartly dressed man with the sad eyes, and her, Patsy, beside him, bold as brass, her false smile hiding a multitude of sins. ‘Is that right?’ he asked of her. ‘Is this man really my father?’

‘No!’ She was screaming now. ‘Don’t listen to him. Whatever he tells you, it’s a lie – a downright lie!’

The man’s voice cut in. ‘We had an affair, and you were the outcome. Like Patsy, I was married, and though I’ve always regretted it, there was no place for you in my life. Since the day you were born, Patsy and Ron both agreed to keep you, as long as I paid. And my God, have I paid! I’vepaid through the nose to keep you in house and home, and more besides. Bled me dry they have, all these years. A few meaningless afternoons of sex with her, and I’ve been made to pay a million times over. But now, it’s finished. You are my son, and I want you with me.’

He smiled like the cat who had the cream. ‘We’ll do all right, son, you and me together.’

When he made to lay his hand on Lenny’s shoulder, the young man grabbed him by the wrist and held him off. For a long, revealing moment, he stared at the man, unable or unwilling to believe what he had just been told. And yet, deep down, he knew – and it was a blessed relief.

When he spoke, it was in a calm, collected manner. ‘All my life I’ve never felt that I belonged. Somehow, I knew I was not a part of this family. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been rejected, unloved and punished, for something that was not of my doing. While you played Happy Families, I was nothing, a nobody. Alone, and made to feel guilty for being alive.’

His eyes hardened like bright marbles. ‘You have no idea how it’s been … no idea.’

Stuart Fitzwilliam stepped forward, a look of alarm on his face. ‘But that’s all over now, son. I’ve come to claim you. I’ve always wanted you, but it was difficult. You have to believe me …’

Lenny’s confident smile belied the hurt he was feeling. ‘All those years, and you never once acknowledged me. And now, it makes no difference whether you want me or you don’t.’

Looking from one to the other, he informed them in a quietly controlled voice, ‘It’s too late, because I don’t want you – any of you.’

His accusing gaze lingered on the woman he had always believed was his mother, but who had never loved him in that way. ‘I came home tonight to tell you that I would be moving out in a week or so,’ he said. ‘But after what I’ve heard here this night, it’s best if I go now.’

He spoke with pride. ‘At long last I’m free of you – of all of you. From now on, there’s no need for me to feel guilty or unwanted. I can be my own man.’

His voice hardened. ‘As long as I live, I never want to see or hear from you again.’

‘You ungrateful little toe-rag!’ Patsy hit out, but when he caught her by the arm, she began to sob. ‘You owe me for taking care of you all these years. You owe me!’

‘I owe you nothing!’ He brushed by them. ‘Now get out of my way.’ He ran up the stairs and into the room which he shared with his younger brother – half-brother, he reminded himself. He closed the door and sat on the edge of thebed, shaking his head and trying to take it all in. ‘She’s right,’ he muttered. ‘I am a bastard. I belong to nobody.’

And then he remembered Judy, and Annie too. ‘Thank You, Lord,’ he murmured, ‘for the kind and honest people You brought into my life.’

Quickly now, he packed a bag and ran down the stairs; the man gone, the woman pleading for him to stay. He didn’t hear; he wanted no more of it. So, without a word or backward glance, he fled from that place.

This house, these people, were his past. The future was out there, and he meant to grasp it with both hands.