Читать книгу Songbird - Josephine Cox - Страница 13

CHAPTER FOUR

ALICE HAD ALWAYS been a light sleeper. She couldn’t tell whether it was the sound of Maddy crying that had woken her, or whether she had just woken like she normally did, after a few short hours of sleep. Either way, she was now wide awake and concerned about the younger woman. ‘Poor little devil,’ she yawned. ‘What’s to become of her?’

Taking her robe from the bedside chair, she slung it on and crept into the kitchen of her two-bedroomed flat to make a cup of tea. It was a bright summer morning, and even in this busy area of London, near the big roundabout at Aldgate East, she could hear the blackbirds calling to each other.

Coming into the kitchen, she found Maddy hunched across the table. Red-eyed and sorry-looking, the girl immediately apologised. ‘I didn’t wake you, did I?’

Alice laughed and filled the kettle. ‘Away with you! Sure, the walls are so thin, I can hear the man next door pulling on his trousers,’ she joked. Looking to see if there was an empty cup on the table, she gently chided her young friend, ‘I see you’ve not yet made yerself a cup o’ tea then?’

Maddy shook her head.

‘Hmh! Well, let’s have one together now – you’re bound to be thirsty, all the tears you’ve cried. Then I’ll make us a good breakfast. Remember that you’re eating for two now.’ She bent to look at Maddy’s face. ‘Ye look awful, so ye do. There’s not a man this side of the Irish Sea who would want to kiss that sorry little face, and who could blame them, eh?’

Her cheeky words had the intended effect, for they made Maddy laugh out loud, even though it hurt to do so. ‘Well, that’s not very nice, is it?’ she chuckled.

Alice gave her a hug. ‘Tea then, is it … with a dash of milk and one sugar?’

‘Thank you – yes, I’d like that.’ Heartened by this darling woman who always seemed to say the right thing, Maddy drew the dressing-gown Alice had lent her tighter about her. ‘I really am sorry if I woke you,’ she murmured.

Alice prepared two cups and opened the biscuit tin. ‘The thing is,’ she answered cheerfully, ‘I’d have woken up sooner or later, and if I didn’t wake up it wouldn’t matter, would it, because I’d be dead and gone, so I would.’

‘Don’t say that!’ Maddy didn’t believe in joshing about such things.

It was like tempting Fate.

Having made the tea, Alice brought the tray to the table. ‘And I’ll thank ye kindly not to eat all them custard creams,’ she warned drily. ‘There’s two for you, an’ two for me. And I won’t be pleased if there’s crumbs all over the table neither.’

Her banter had done the trick, and soon Maddy was brighter. ‘You’re such a good friend to me,’ she told the older woman, ‘letting me stay with you like this.’

Alice brushed away her comments, saying, ‘What are we going to do with you, that’s what I’m wondering. You can’t possibly go back to him – not after what he did. Like as not, if he takes another bad mood, he could finish you off. Think of the baby, my love.’

Maddy took a sip of her tea and sighed. ‘I’m sure he’ll be in a better frame of mind today,’ she said hopefully. ‘When he’s had time to think, he might realise what he’s done.’

‘Don’t you believe it, me darling! That’ll be the day, when Steve Drayton admits to being in the wrong. No.’ Alice was emphatic. ‘I can’t let you go back to him, at least not until we’re certain he really wants to take care of you and the child.’

‘Oh, if only he would …’ Maddy said wistfully. ‘Tell me the truth, Alice. Do you think there’s a real chance he might come to terms with the idea of a baby?’

Alice was silent for a moment, chewing on her biscuit and washing it down with another swig of her tea. ‘D’ye want the truth?’

Maddy nodded. ‘Please.’

Leaning forward, the older woman secured the girl’s full attention before saying bluntly, ‘I don’t think there’s a cat in hell’s chance of him accepting the baby.’

‘But he is the father!’

‘Oh yes, he may be the father, but he will never admit that the child is his. And I can’t see a child playing any part in his life. You know as well as I do, he’s a bad lot – along with the other villains he keeps company with. And not a single one of them has any scruples or conscience whatsoever.’

She paused, all manner of images going through her mind; of late-night visitors to the club, shady deals and vicious arguments, often ending in violence. Steve Drayton lived in a dark world, one in which she feared Maddy might get swallowed up.

‘We both know the rumours that circulate about him and his cronies, and you know what they say – there’s no smoke without fire. That’s no environment in which to bring up a child.’

‘I know all that,’ Maddy admitted soberly. ‘And I still can’t help but love him.’ She was well aware of all the warnings that Alice was sending out. ‘I wish I didn’t love him, but I do. I want to live with him and for us to bring our child up together.’

Dear God in heaven! What would it take for the girl to see the truth about Drayton? Alice insisted, ‘You must stay here with me for a while, until we know for sure he wants the two of you. Will you do that for me, if only for my peace of mind?’

For what seemed an age, the air was thick with silence.

Maddy had never seen Alice so agitated and, to tell the truth, she was beginning to wonder if her friend could see more badness in Steve than she could see herself. Oh, she knew he had a shady reputation, and she had witnessed at first hand how cruel he could be. But how could he not love her, when she loved him so much? She wanted to understand him, to heal his unhappy past, to restore his faith in womankind.

Her first impulse was to tell Alice that she was going back that very day. She had to reason with Steve, and the sooner the better. But something in Alice’s warning made her cautious. ‘Very well, I’ll promise not to come back with you today.’

‘And what about tonight? You’ve got to teach him a lesson! Don’t turn up. Hit him in his pocket – where it hurts most.’

‘I don’t know if I can let him down again.’ Maddy was in turmoil. ‘I’ve only just got back onstage. Me being away has already cost him money. Besides, it’s Saturday – his best night. The place will be full to bursting. I need to think on it.’

‘Well, while you’re thinking on it,’ Alice said, ‘think about the way he attacked you. Think how he beat you up, even after you told him you were carrying his child. And even though you might by some miracle talk him into family life, just think what the future would be like – never knowing when he might turn on you or the child. God knows, he’s capable of it.’

‘I know he’ll probably turn his back on me,’ Maddy answered quietly, ‘but I still have to try and win him round, for the baby’s sake, if not for mine.’

‘Then I’m not going to work.’

‘Why not?’

‘Sure, if I can’t make you see sense, and you insist on going in tonight, so soon after he’s done this to you, then you give me no choice. I’ll write my letter of notice and send it in. I can’t stand back and see him play you for a fool any longer.’

Maddy was horrified. ‘You can’t send in your notice! You love your work. Besides, it’s not so easy to find a job in the clubs. You know how they are a closed shop.’

‘Don’t you worry, me darlin’.’ Alice could see her little ploy beginning to work. ‘I’ll find a job, even if I have to move away.’

‘I can’t let you do it,’ Maddy said. ‘Promise me you won’t send in your notice?’

‘I’ve made my decision,’ Alice answered.

‘No!’ Maddy knew from experience that when Alice said something, she meant it. ‘I can’t let you lose your work and possibly your home, on account of me.’ She bit her lip. ‘I’ll do what you ask, then. I’ll stay here tonight and make him sweat.’

‘Well, all right then,’ Alice said, after a pause. ‘And I’m not saying you shouldn’t go back at all, because clearly you still have things to decide between the pair of youse. But not tonight. Let the bugger calm down and think it through.’

Maddy threw her arms round the little woman’s shoulders. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But I may go in tomorrow. You do know I can’t stay away too long?’

‘I understand that, so I do. But if you were to go in tonight, he’ll think he can do whatever he likes and you’ll always be there at his beck and call. And when you do get to talk it out with him, be prepared for him to give you an ultimatum.’

‘What kind of ultimatum?’

Alice did not mince her words. ‘He could ask you to get rid of the baby.’

‘NO! I would never do that! I tried – and I just couldn’t do it.’ The idea went against every instinct in her body.

It was the answer Alice had expected. ‘Good girl.’ Reaching across, she took hold of Maddy’s hand. ‘Listen to me,’ she urged. ‘London is full of unsavoury characters and Steve Drayton knows each and every one of them; no doubt they’re all on his payroll. What I’m saying is … be on your guard. You’ve already seen a glimpse of what he’s capable of.’

‘I know.’

Sensing her hesitation, Alice assured her, ‘If you’re worried he might bring somebody else to take your place on stage tonight, I can tell you now, that won’t happen. While you were away, he trawled the clubs and agents, looking for a replacement. He managed to find two girls, but neither of them could hold a candle to you. In fact, they were so bad, Dave and Dino threatened to leave. Sure, there are talented girls about, but they’re all tied up in secure contracts.’

Up until then, it had not crossed Maddy’s mind that she might be so quickly replaced. Instead, she still harboured the illusion that Steve might yet feel proud at having fathered a child, and that in time he might even put a ring on her finger.

She relayed all this to Alice, but as ever Alice was noncommittal. ‘Let’s wait and see, me darlin’,’ she said encouragingly, ‘Who knows? Possibly you and the wee one can make him change his ways, after all.’

Deep down though, she knew it would never happen.

When Alice left for her duties at the club after lunch, Maddy reflected on their conversation. This time, she was less optimistic. ‘What if she’s right and I can’t talk him round?’ she asked herself. ‘What if he throws me out? What if he changes the locks on the flat and turns his back on me altogether?’

It was a frightening thought. She couldn’t put all her troubles on Alice, and she couldn’t afford a place of her own, as Steve only paid her a pittance, so where would they go, and the baby? How would they live?

A shocking thought rippled across her mind, and it brought her up sharp. Whatever happened, she would not have a termination. If Steve didn’t want her, she’d find a way to manage without him.

Yet the thought of making it on her own, with a baby in tow, was a terrifying thing. She was a singer; since the age of sixteen, when she was orphaned, she had always been a singer, scratching a living in shabby pubs and clubs until Steve had discovered and promoted her. It would be hard to sing in the clubs, as a single parent, impossible almost.

A sense of outrage coursed through her. ‘This is his baby, and he can damned well face his responsibilities!’

Determined either to win him over, or fight him tooth and nail, Maddy found herself regretting her promise not to go in tonight. What if ‘making Steve sweat’ just got him in such an awful rage that he went and did get himself another singer – and then she would never be able to talk him round!

Pacing the floor, she could not rid herself of all these doubts and fears, until eventually, her instincts decided for her. Making herself believe that Alice would understand, she came to a decision. ‘I’ll play him at his own game,’ she decided. ‘I’ll turn up tonight as usual, wear a gown to knock him out, and go onstage as though nothing has happened. Steve will come round to my way of thinking. I know he will.’

Her spirits uplifted, Maddy ran a hot bath and soaked in it for a time, until her thoughts were formulated and her wounds soothed.

After towel-drying her long hair, she then let it fall into its natural wave. She applied more antiseptic cream to her cuts, wincing as she rubbed it in, then quickly dressed in the clothes she had worn the previous day.

After making sure everything was secure, she put on her coat and left, deciding to catch a tube down to Clapham Common station and walk the rest of the way to the Battersea flat to get some fresh air.

If all goes well, I should be travelling back to the flat with Steve tonight, she thought, but she remained apprehensive. After all, she had learned the hard way how easily he could lose control.

The journey across town seemed to take forever. She felt oddly isolated and unsure of herself, and wondered if the confrontation with Steve had affected her more than she realised. Thankfully, by the time she had walked to the flat from the tube station, her confidence had grown.

Her key went into the lock easily, much to her relief. At least he hadn’t had the locks changed. That must mean something. Perhaps he had had time to think, and was regretting what he had done. The thought of making up brought a smile to her face.

The flat was a credit to her – though, as he enjoyed reminding her, the money she’d spent on making it both smart and cosy had been Steve Drayton’s, not hers.

The cream-coloured carpet was of finest wool, as were the many different-coloured rugs laid throughout. The elegant navy and cream colour scheme varied from room to room; creating an effect that was unifying yet individual.

The leather settee and chairs set around a large fireplace in the lounge were warm and squashy, with a scattering of oversize cushions. The whole place was stamped with Maddy’s friendly and open personality, though with a discreet dash of elegance.

Encouraged by the fact that Steve had not changed the locks or thrown out her things, Maddy made her way to the bedroom and went straight to his wardrobe. Throwing open the doors, she stood a moment observing the expensive tailored suits hanging there. She roved her hands over them. ‘Are you really as bad as Alice says?’ she murmured. ‘Would you really turn your back on your own flesh and blood?’ She persuaded herself that somehow, she would make him love the child she carried inside her.

For herself, she laid out fresh lingerie, along with a smart cream-coloured shirt with stand-up collar; then a short brown skirt and matching fitted jacket. Next she fished out her silk stockings and high-heeled cream-coloured shoes. Although the skirt was rather tight, since her tummy was acquiring a rounded shape, she looked very fresh and pretty in the outfit.

Almost ready, she sat at the dressing-table and skilfully applied foundation to her face, hiding the scratches. Eye-shadow and mascara followed, then a touch of coffee-coloured lipstick and a generous spray of lightly scented perfume.

She gave her hair a final brushing, then checked herself in the full-length mirror. ‘Right, my girl!’ The merest smile lit her face. ‘You’re about as ready as you’ll ever be.’

For the first time today, she felt good. It was off to the shops now, to find the ultimate glamorous outfit, with maybe an extra-long split to show off her legs and avert people’s eyes from her midriff. Or a low top to show off the bits of herself that he hadn’t marked. The smile fell from her face as she recalled his vicious attack on her. How could she risk her safety, and that of their child, with such an unpredictable man? When he fell into one of his rages, Steve Drayton became a monster.

Being Saturday, the Underground was busier than usual, the pavements heavy with people, and the Oxford Street shops full to bursting. At every pedestrian-crossing, there was a long wait before the road was clear.

‘I hate coming into London on a Saturday,’ said a grey-haired woman, who was almost lifted off her feet when a gaggle of girls came rushing past. ‘I can’t stand all this pushing and shoving!’

Taking the pensioner by the arm, Maddy helped her across the road, to receive the loveliest smile for her trouble. ‘I’m glad not all young people are loud and selfish,’ the woman said, ambling away with a tut and a grumble.

Maddy headed straight for Liberty’s on Regent Street. They had such fabulous evening wear there, suitable for showbiz.

‘I want to open Steve’s eyes and make him see what he might be losing,’ she told herself. ‘No more pink ladies. I’m going to get a fiery red dress! Yes, that’s it – I’ll go for red and be a scarlet woman instead.’

The saleslady looked at Maddy, at her voluminous golden-brown hair and her striking dark eyes, and said, ‘Oh no, my dear! Not red. With your colouring, you should wear the palest ivory.’

Maddy was amazed. ‘I’ve never even considered wearing ivory,’ she confessed. ‘I’ve always thought that it would make me look washed out.’

The woman persuaded her to give it a try.

The first dress she put on was nipped in at the waist and full-skirted. ‘No, it’s definitely not me.’ Maddy was unhappy with the style, but amazed by how flattering the colour was.

The second one was straight-skirted and fitting, but the neck was high and the sleeves too full.

The third was stunning – low-cut at the top, but with straps instead of sleeves. ‘Good heavens, what on earth did you do to your arms?’ The woman was shocked by the bruises.

Maddy stammered an excuse, and returned to the cubicle where, both disappointed and embarrassed, she began quickly dressing to cover up the bruises where Steve had gripped her last night.

She was reaching for her blouse when there came a knock on the cubicle door. ‘My dear, I’ve found a dress I think you really should try.’ The door inched open and an arm reached through, over which hung the loveliest-looking gown. ‘You looked wonderful in the ivory,’ the saleslady explained, ‘so I went away and searched through another batch of stock that’s just arrived from Italy. This one is absolutely right for you … trust me.’

Suspecting the woman was trying hard to make a sale, Maddy agreed to try it anyway.

Five minutes later, she emerged from the cubicle, looking a million dollars.

‘Oh my dear!’ The woman’s mouth fell open. ‘I knew it was the one for you!’

The ivory-coloured dress was plain and elegant; with long, slim sleeves, small silk-covered buttons at the cuffs, it hung exquisitely. In fact, it could have been made for her.

‘It simply flows over you!’ The attendant was delighted. ‘And the ivory … so beautiful.’

Maddy was pleased to note the discreet split in the skirt, running down the left side from thigh to hem, which opened only when she stepped one leg forward. The punters at the Pink Lady adored it when she wore something a little bit sexy but still ladylike.

Wondering what Steve might say, she looked at herself in the long mirror. Against the ivory, her eyes and hair seemed richer, deeper in colour, and more importantly, the long slim sleeves hid the marks he had made on her arms.

And so she bought it, though it was more than she could easily afford. Steve liked her to have decent stage outfits, but the money he gave her for them was on the mean side. But this was a special dress. A dress on which her whole future depended. Thanking the woman, she left with her precious cargo, and went home to Alice’s flat.

She could hardly wait for the evening, when she would walk out on that Soho stage with her head held high.

Seeing her in that dress must surely melt her lover’s heart? Even a hard man like Steve could not turn away the woman who loved him; the singer who brought in the bulk of his money. And the fact that she was carrying his child must surely mean the world to him. Shouldn’t it?

She was both nervous and excited. Was she taking a chance too far? Was Alice right … would he still reject her, and his child?

There was only one way to find out.