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Don’t You Die on Me

Steve Hodack

Pennsylvania

www.messagesfromthelighttv.com

I was in my early 20s, carefree and serving in the U.S. military. Fear had no place in my life as I felt I was invincible. The day I experienced death lingers on in my memory as though it were yesterday.

An army buddy and I were canoeing down the river. I had no life vest on and couldn’t swim. But, again, I had no fear. We reached a point where we felt we had gone far enough and decided to turn around. The only problem was that my friend had been drinking and was being a bit reckless. For some reason he put his oar in the water on the rapid side where I was working with mine. Doing so made the canoe lopsided, and it flipped throwing us both into the strong current.

While he quickly swam to shore, I was left holding on to the canoe in a state of panic. I searched for a life jacket hoping that one had fallen out, but there was none. All the while, my friend was yelling from the bank telling me to swim, but I couldn’t.

Then I let go. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I let go as though the current would miraculously carry me to shore. The next thing I knew the water was sucking me under. I could no longer breathe as I struggled frantically to stay alive. Then suddenly it was dark, very dark.

I saw a light. It first appeared like a pinhole and then grew larger and larger. And as the light grew, the more beautiful and peaceful it became. I seemed to be floating higher and higher. Then suddenly I heard my mom’s voice. She had passed when I was very young.

When I came to the end of this light, I stood before what appeared to be a window. My mother’s image was so clear, so vibrant standing by this window. She looked at me asking if I thought the afterlife was beautiful. At this point I took the opportunity to take in the vastness around me. The beauty was beyond words—flowers, animals, vibrant colors with an intense crystal clarity. I could actually smell the fresh crisp air. It was so peaceful.

How long I was standing there I don’t know. But I remember being so consumed with the beauty of it all that I wanted to stay there. Then I heard my mother’s voice. “Steve,” she said, “it is not your time. You have work left to do on earth.” Again I didn’t want to go back; I wanted to stay, but I could feel my mother slowly guiding me back to my physical body.

Suddenly I was floating above the scene in the river watching my friend drag my body to shore. Then he desperately performed CPR while screaming, “Don’t you die on me. God, no, don’t do this to me.” All the while, tears streamed down his face. He was a medic as I was at the time and knew exactly what to do. So when I didn’t respond, he kept up the breathing, compressing, and checking my pulse repeatedly. Finally he made a fist and slammed it into my chest.

At that point I was back in my body, coughing and spitting up water. I was in shock over my ordeal, but I was okay. After we calmed down, I told my buddy what had happened. At first he didn’t believe me. But then I told him how I had seen him drag my body to shore. I told him how he had asked God not to let me die and then slammed his fist into my chest. At that point he could not deny what I was saying was true. He could not deny that I had, in fact, died and come back.

He told me that he had jumped into the water three times to try to save me before he finally felt me under the water and pulled me to the surface. Looking back, all I can say is I no longer have any fear of death. I know that when we pass, we go to a peaceful place—a paradise filled with sheer beauty and empty of any pain or suffering.