Читать книгу Leading Through Uncertainty - Jude Jennison - Страница 10

“If you can lead a horse, you can lead anyone.”

“That’s a lot of horse!” I thought.

That was an understatement. Kalle was majestic. I watched her gallop up and down the arena. With her mane and tail flying behind her and her head held high, she snorted loudly as she charged from one end to the other. It was clear that she was strong, powerful and opinionated. I knew nothing about horses, but she certainly didn’t look like a horse who was suitable for a novice such as me.

I had no reference point for this moment. I had only recently overcome my fear of horses. My previous experience had included six months riding at the age of nine and three serious accidents around horses as an adult, one while I was riding and two others on the ground. I write about these more extensively in Leadership Beyond Measure so I won’t go into them here. What I will say is that I was a novice, and I knew very little about horses. The only thing that was certain was that I was here to look at a horse to work with me. Despite Kalle charging up and down at an alarming rate, I walked calmly into the arena and stood in the middle. Having overcome my fear of horses only six months earlier, it seemed a brave thing to do. I’m not sure why I did it, but I followed my instincts and stepped into the arena of uncertainty. I felt as though my heart would stop, and I breathed deeply.

As soon as I walked in, Kalle came to a stop at the other end of the arena. I stayed calm, breathing consciously and grounding myself. She walked over to me and stood by my right shoulder. She looked me deep in the eye, and I felt the soul to soul connection that she creates so magically. I gulped and felt my eyes well up with tears. I was moved by the power and gentleness of her spirit. I walked forward, and Kalle came with me. I stopped, and she stopped with me. I paused, trying to breathe.

Kalle gallops at full speed

I moved again, turning left and right, stopping and starting. Kalle matched me step for step. When I moved, she came. When I stopped, she did, too. The connection felt so deep, yet I had no idea what I was doing. I had virtually no experience around horses. I had stepped right out of my depth and dived head first into the deep end of uncertainty.

I was completely unskilled in looking after a horse. I was uncertain whether she was suitable or if I could handle her. I could feel the power of her palpating beside me, and my heart was pounding. She was choosing to follow me as a leader, even though I had no idea what I was doing. I have received no greater acknowledgement of my leadership than in that moment. Kalle chose to follow with complete free will. It was and continues to be a deeply moving experience.

I went back to the gate to talk to her owner, Julie. Kalle was loose, but she stayed by my side as I went. I said to Julie, “She’s so responsive. She’s the kind of horse I could really connect with.” At that moment, Kalle turned, looked me in the eye, and she nodded. My heart lurched, and I swallowed hard.

I was chosen.

What led me here?

In 2010, I left a 16-year career at IBM. After numerous senior leadership roles, including managing a European budget of $1 billion, I knew there was more for me in life. In hindsight, I was close to burnout, but I didn’t realise it until I took a year’s sabbatical and slowed down almost to a stop. After that sabbatical, I set up a leadership and coaching business with the desire to help senior leaders and executives work in harmony by finding their inner peace as well as creating outer peace. I knew what it was like to work in a large organisation, feeling ground down under the pressure of a heavy workload with aggressive targets to reach. I knew the stresses and strains of trying to work collaboratively in a high-pressure, high-performance culture with no let-up. I also knew how energising, exciting and rewarding it could be. The uncertainty that comes with a high-performance culture is immense. Stretch targets become the norm, and nobody knows whether they can meet them. It’s an environment rife with uncertainty. Some people thrive on it, others are left reeling.

Having completed a year-long transformational leadership programme with The Coaches Training Institute, I also knew there was another way to lead, if only people had the skills to do so. Ironically, in the times when we are under pressure to succeed, there is a tendency to speed up, and in so doing we often lose our ability to lead effectively. What is needed in those moments is a slower, more grounded pace, a way of connecting to your authentic leadership and finding your flow with ease. Athletes know what it is like to be in the zone and spend years working with a performance coach to help them achieve it. Leaders who find this flow are not only powerful, compelling and engaging, they are often less stressed, more grounded and calmer. It makes good business sense to create an environment for leaders to thrive in this way. Yet in the current world of fast-paced change, everything is uncertain, and few people find the space to create that flow.

When I set up my leadership and coaching business in 2010, horses were not on my radar. By 2011, I was at a stud farm, completely out of my depth, choosing a horse.

Following my heart

When I left my corporate career, everyone said I was courageous, and some wished they could leave too. Why didn’t they? Fear of uncertainty and fear of failure. The fear of uncertainty causes us to maintain the status quo, even if it isn’t working. Leaving behind a highly paid career with all the financial benefits it brings to set up a small business in the middle of a recession is not for the faint-hearted! In hindsight, what others saw as courage was merely naivety, something I find serves me well in moments of uncertainty. If we overthink things, we don’t move forward.

Although I had substantial experience working in a large global corporation of more than 400,000 employees worldwide, and I was comfortable managing a European budget of $1 billion, nothing could have prepared me for running a small business on my own. When I added horses into the mix, the uncertainty grew exponentially. Everything was unknown. I was on my own with no support structure, and the learning curve was fast. Failure was a definite possibility. Over the coming months and years, I would fail repeatedly, pick myself up and try again. Had I known that, I might have stayed in my corporate career. We have a psychological need for safety and tend to seek it naturally. Uncertainty is a threat to our safety, yet it is unavoidable if we want to create breakthroughs.

One of the first leadership programmes I ran was a six-month programme for a group of IT directors. It was called “Challenge the status quo” and was designed to help them increase self-awareness and be more bold and courageous in their leadership. In between workshops, I gave them practical challenges to develop their leadership further, one of which was to overcome their fear of something. I’m a great believer in walking my talk and won’t ask anyone to do anything I wouldn’t be willing to do myself. And so I found myself working with someone to help me overcome my fear of horses. Despite my fear, I kept being drawn to horses without knowing why. I had no intention of riding again, so my decision to overcome my fear of them was to put the fear to rest and move on.

Little did I know what was in store. I overcame my fear of horses in the first five minutes of being in their presence and learned so much about my own leadership in the first two hours. I talk about this experience in more detail in Leadership Beyond Measure. Suffice to say here that I discovered Equine Guided Leadership, which is a way of working with horses to develop leadership and communication skills.

Following that first session, instead of putting my fascination with horses to rest, it reignited it, and I found myself drawn to learning more about working with them. Still with no intention of doing the work, I embarked on an extensive training programme to train as a HorseDream Partner, an international methodology designed to work specifically with corporate leaders and teams.

Uncertainty was at play in abundance.

Throughout the training, I found myself working with people who had their own horses and were very confident and competent around them. I was unsure why I was doing the training, but I followed my instincts and trusted that I was meant to be there. I was willing to explore and see what happened. The only thing that was certain was that it felt right. In moments of uncertainty, we tend to rely on logic and reasoning, yet our instincts are rarely wrong. Effective leaders trust their intuition in uncertainty and include it in the decision-making process.

I had no desire to ride horses, yet there was also no doubt that I was in the right place. In only eight months, I overcame my fear, attended intensive training, qualified as a HorseDream Partner, delivered my first corporate workshop and took ownership of my first horse.

Life was moving fast, and I was galloping along the path of uncertainty with no idea where I was heading.

Facing uncertainty head on

After seeing Kalle charging up and down the arena, I knew deep down that she was the right horse for me. My heart was sure, my gut instinct was clear, but my head was questioning the sanity of taking on such a majestic animal when my capabilities of handling horses were virtually non-existent. I didn’t even know how to put on a head collar.

I went home to think about it. I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing. In moments of uncertainty, we look for certainty, glimpses that we are on the right track. Things were moving fast, and I felt the need to slow down the decision and give myself time to pause for breath. Kalle is 16.2 hands high (which is 1.68m to the top of the shoulder), bigger than I had intended as a first horse. She is a German breed called Trakehner, known for being spirited and highly sensitive. Riders often say this breed is tricky to handle. Knowing nothing about horses, I was oblivious to this. I discovered that they are highly sensitive and intuitive, making them perfect for my work.

I had limited experience around horses, and this was a huge decision. At the time, many people said I was bold. Others told me I was crazy. I didn’t see it in either of those ways. When people questioned my capability, I replied that nobody knows how to look after a child until they have one – you just have to learn. And fast! I followed my heart and knew that this was the work I wanted to do. Exactly eight months after I overcame my fear of horses, Kalle came into my life. Clients had been asking to work with horses, so I decided I’d better get a horse!

If I had any doubts about taking on a horse as powerful as Kalle, I was certain my friends would not let me play small. Later that day, I spoke to a dear friend, Nicole, and explained that Kalle was big, powerful, spirited, kind and gentle and that I was a little concerned that she might be too much for clients. Nicole asked whether I could handle her. I replied that I thought so. To which Nicole responded, “If you think you can handle her and your clients can’t, then you are holding your clients too small.” With that I made the decision. I took ownership of Kalle one month later.

My path of uncertainty had most definitely begun.