Читать книгу Did You Say...Wife? - Judith Mcwilliams - Страница 12

“Doctor Edwards asked that you see him before you visited your husband this morning,” the nurse told Jocelyn when she reached the nurses’ station of the surgical ward.

Jocelyn felt her skin blanch with sudden fear. What had happened? Even though Lucas hadn’t yet regained consciousness, the nurses had been very pleased with his vital signs when she’d left him late last night.

Lucas didn’t…” Jocelyn couldn’t bring herself to complete the sentence.

“No, of course not,” the nurse hurriedly reassured her. He’s coming along nicely. Amazingly well, in fact, considering what he’s been through. It’s just that…

Oh, good, there’s Dr. Edwards now.” The nurse broke off in evident relief as she caught sight of the doctor hurrying down the hall toward them.

Jocelyn turned, waiting nervously for the doctor to reach her. If Lucas hadn’t suffered a relapse, the only reason she could think of that the doctor would insist on seeing her would be if the hospital had somehow found out that Lucas and she weren’t married. That she had lied to them.

Which would explain the doctor’s impatience to see her. He was probably worried about the hospital’s liability for having operated on Lucas without proper authorization.

Jocelyn braced her thin shoulders and prepared to face the doctor’s wrath. But even knowing that what she’d done was technically wrong, she’d do it again in a heartbeat. Lucas had gotten the help he’d needed when he’d needed it. Not when some bureaucrat had decided it was legally safe to treat him.

“Mrs. Forester.” Dr. Edwards’s greeting caught her off guard. If he’d found out that she wasn’t Lucas’s wife, why was he still calling her that? And if he hadn’t found out, then why was it so urgent he speak to her? Unless the nurse had lied about Lucas being okay? Sudden panic gripped her, and she took an involuntary step toward the doctor.

“Lucas is fine.” The doctor had no trouble reading her expressive face. “Physically, I’m very impressed with how well he’s responding.”

“But?” Jocelyn asked, sensing his constraint.

It has been my experience that occasionally in situations like this—”

“Cut to the chase,” Jocelyn said, interrupting him. “My nerves won’t last through the buildup.”

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. Just a temporary problem. Mr. Forester is suffering a spot of amnesia.”

“Amnesia?” Jocelyn stared blankly at the doctor.

“It isn’t all that uncommon in head injuries,” he assured her. “We discovered it this morning when we cut back on the pain medication enough to let him regain consciousness. Your husband should remember everything within a week. A couple of weeks at the outside.”

“Amnesia,” Jocelyn repeated. As in, he doesn’t remember who I am?” Or the fact that I’m not really his wife? A complicated mixture of emotions swirled through her as the implications of the situation began to register.

“Not at the moment,” he said.

“How do I handle this?” she finally asked.

“The most important thing you can do is to keep calm and not to try to force his memory. He should remember a little more each day until it all comes back to him. Just answer any questions he asks and, above all, keep stress to a minimum.”

“I see,” Jocelyn said slowly, wondering what to do now. confessing who she really was was out of the question in light of this latest development. Not if Lucas was to have the peace he needed to get better. At the first hint of any weakness on Lucas’s part, Bill would be all over him; and Bill was stress personified.

Besides, she didn’t really want to confess, she realized. Soon she would be gone from Lucas’s life entirely. Being able to pretend to be his wife for a few days was a gift of incredible proportions from an unexpectedly benevolent fate. She’d be able to cherish the memory of those precious days for the rest of her life.

“When can he leave the hospital?” she asked.

“Barring anything unforeseen, he can be discharged day after tomorrow.”

“So soon!”

“He’ll recover much quicker in a familiar environment. Don’t worry. You’ll be fine.” Dr. Edwards gave her an encouraging smile and hurried off down the hall.

I sure hope he’s a better doctor than he is a fortune teller, Jocelyn thought. Because “fine” was the one thing she wasn’t going to be. Once Lucas regained his memory, she’d lose the man she loved. She didn’t think she’d ever be fine again. Which was all the more reason to make the most of the moment, she told herself.

Taking a deep breath, she hurried down the hall to Lucas’s room. Pushing open the door, she walked inside.

Lucas lay in a high, narrow bed. His eyes were closed, and his skin had a grayish cast, which was emphasized by the large, white bandage, which covered the left side of his forehead. Jocelyn silently approached the bed, wincing when she saw the lurid purple-and-red bruise that started under his bandage and ran down his cheek almost to his jaw. He hadn’t shaved since the accident, and the three days’ growth of beard gave him a vaguely pirate-like look that sent an unexpected kick of excitement through her. Lucas looked like an ancient warrior. One who’d been on the losing side.

Her heart twisted. He looked so vulnerable. Something that was totally foreign to his normal vibrant personality. Lucas always seemed so competent, so absolutely in charge of both himself and the situation he found himself in; it was a shock to realize that he needed protecting. But she also found it oddly exhilarating. Somehow, his present vulnerability put them on an equal footing. He needed her. For the first time in their relationship she wasn’t on the periphery of his life. She was smack in the middle of it.

His eyelids slowly lifted as if he’d sensed someone was in the room with him, and she found herself staring into his eyes. They seemed dimmer than usual. The brilliant sparkle that usually lit them had been dulled, which was hardly surprising given what had happened, she told herself.

Uncertainly she watched him, waiting for a clue as to how to proceed.

Lucas squinted, trying to see the woman standing beside his bed through the haze of pain that engulfed him. Her large eyes were pale blue with an intriguing violet tinge, he thought distractedly. But her eyes didn’t look hopeful. They were filled with apprehension. Because of him? he wondered as he studied the creamy texture of her complexion. Her delicately molded nose had a light dusting of pale freckles that intrigued him. Did she have freckles anywhere else? he wondered. His eyes instinctively dropped to her body and a surge of heat welled up through him, which increased the pounding in his head to nauseating levels.

Hastily, he forced his gaze upward away from the temptation of her body to discover her mouth. She had gorgeous lips, he decided after a moment’s deliberation. They were soft and pink and full and promised unimaginable delights to anyone lucky enough to kiss them.

Mesmerized, he watched as she reached up and brushed back a strand of her gleaming hair. It was the exact color of Italian chestnuts. A deep rich brown with just the slightest hint of red in the mix.

Who was she? he wondered. Certainly not a nurse. Not dressed in that severely cut, dark-blue business suit. He wished he could see her legs over the edge of the bed. If they were as intriguing as her face was…

A sudden flash of memory of her reaching up to get something on a shelf over her head flashed through his mind. She was wearing beige slacks that lovingly molded her trim hips. The instinctive burst of desire that surged through him made the pain in his head escalate to appalling proportions. He waited a moment for the pain to ebb before he followed his memory flash to its logical conclusion. He knew this woman. He knew her from before the accident. Knew her and desired her. Hell, he thought with black humor, if he desired her much more he’d pass out from the pain it caused him.

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. This morning when he’d tried to ask the doctor some questions, the only information that the man had actually given him had been that Lucas had a wife named Jocelyn, and she had been in the hospital since the accident, although she wasn’t there at the moment. could this woman be his wife? He tried to slow his breathing to counter his sudden excitement at the tantalizing thought. His eyes dropped to her breasts. Did he know her intimately? Frustration engulfed him at his inability to remember.

Sending up a prayer that this intriguing-looking woman really belonged to him, he gave her a crooked grin and said, “Mrs. Forester, I presume?”

To his dismay her lovely blue eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“Oh, Lucas, I was so worried that…” Her musical voice broke, drowned in the depth of her relief. Lucas sounded so normal. So lucid. So…so Lucas.

“That I’d forgotten you?” he said, drawing his own conclusions. come closer. I don’t bite. In fact,” he added when she didn’t move, even thinking lascivious thoughts at the moment makes my head pound, quite literally.”

He frowned as a deep flush burned beneath her pale skin.

“You are my wife, aren’t you?” he asked uncertainly, confused at her odd reaction. Didn’t wives want their husbands to desire them? Or was it that this particular wife didn’t want him to desire her? Or was her seemingly embarrassed reaction caused by something else entirely? He winced as his head began to pound with his conjectures.

Jocelyn took a deep breath and said, Yes, I’m your wife.”

Her words seemed to bounce off the room’s bare walls, gaining strength as they ricocheted. Jocelyn listened to them, both elated and scared by what she had done. One of the many foster mothers she’d had when she was a child had once told her that, if she told a lie, God would strike her dead on the spot.

All her life she’d felt a nervous dread whenever she told a fib, even though she knew perfectly well that God had better things to do than to run around zapping people. But this certainly proved her foster mother had been wrong once and for all, Jocelyn thought ruefully. Because if instantaneous retribution hadn’t been demanded for a lie of this magnitude, she was safe forever.

“I knew you were familiar,” Lucas said, giving up trying to analyze the expressions flitting across her expressive face. She was probably just upset, which was hardly surprising. His accident hadn’t done anything for his mental health, either.

Instinctively he reached out to her as his head began to pound again.

Jocelyn grasped his hand. Unable to resist the temptation, she stroked her fingertips across the back of his hand, savoring the texture of his warm skin. A spurt of excitement shafted through her as he began to lightly rub his thumb over the palm of her hand in response to her caress. Her breathing shortened as a shivery sensation raced over her nerve endings.

Jocelyn ran the tip of her tongue over her suddenly dry lips.

Lucas watched the movement of her tongue from beneath his lowered eyelids, wanting to trace its path with his own tongue. And then he wanted to…

“Just a minute while I get a chair to sit in.” Jocelyn’s voice came out in a breathless squeak. Tugging her hand free, she hurried across the room to get the black vinyl armchair against the other wall.

Lucas watched as she dragged it across the floor, his sense of unease increasing. Did she really want the chair or did she just want to break off the physical contact with him? He clenched his teeth together in frustration at his inability to remember and immediately paid a price when his head started to pound again. Deliberately he tried to relax. This wasn’t the time to go paranoid, he tried to tell himself. He had enough on his plate trying to deal with the aftereffects of his accident. He didn’t need to be imagining problems where there might not be any.

Unless…Another more ominous possibility occurred to him and his eyes shot open. could she know something about his operation that he didn’t? Could the doctor have told her he wasn’t ever going to remember again? That his life to date was now dead to him? Fear shafted through him, sending a sheen of sweat over his skin.

“Lucas, what’s wrong?” Jocelyn caught his sudden spurt of emotion and feared that he might have remembered everything.

“What did that doctor tell you?” he demanded.

“Tell me?” she repeated, torn between relief that he hadn’t regained his memory yet and guilt at being so selfish as to be glad.

“About my operation?”

“That you were very lucky. That there would be no permanent damage and that memory loss wasn’t unusual after this kind of operation and that all we had to do was wait for it to come back.”

“That’s it? Just wait?”

“All those cartoons where they wap amnesia victims over the head to give them back their memory are just that, cartoons. Although…” She studied his annoyed features speculatively. If you turn out to be a bad patient, I might be tempted to try it.”

Lucas heard the laughter threading her voice and instinctively relaxed.

“That’s what he told me, too,” he confessed. “At least, the bit about just waiting. But what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Vegetate?”

Jocelyn flushed as a flood of activities that had nothing to do with vegetation poured through her mind. Not now, she ordered herself. Now she needed to reassure Lucas that everything would be normal. Later she could indulge in daydreams.

“At the moment your job is to lie there and rest,” she told him.

“What a boring scenario,” he grumbled. “Now, if you were offering to share the bed with me…”

“You’re supposed to be avoiding undue excitement.” Jocelyn struggled to sound more sophisticated than she felt.

“In that case, how about some background?” Lucas changed the subject. Tell me what happened to land me here. All that doctor would say is I had an accident and not to worry about it.”

“He doesn’t want you subjected to any stress,” Jocelyn explained.

“He doesn’t think not knowing isn’t stressful?” There really isn’t all that much to know,” Jocelyn said, happy to talk about something that didn’t involve her lying to him.

“We were on our way back to the airport—”

“Back? We don’t live here? And where is here, for that matter?”

“Here is Buffalo, New York. You were here to finalize your buying Bleffords Plastics.”

“And you came along for the ride?”

“I came along because I happen to be your highly qualified administrative assistant,” Jocelyn shot back. She might love Lucas to distraction, but she had no intention of playing the helpless little woman. Even if she was a little rattled at the moment by the whole course of events.

“Really?” His right eyebrow disappeared into his bandage as his surprise showed. You seem much too decorative to be a highly efficient anything.”

“And you seem much too smart to be succumbing to stereotypes! I’m beginning to think that you got hit harder than I thought.”

Lucas grinned at her, fascinated at the way her indignation made her eyes sparkle. “Maybe I’m secretly a closet chauvinist, and having lost my memory I don’t know that I have to pretend.”

“Keep that up and you’ll lose more than your memory—you’ll lose your head. I am a competent professional, and I demand respect for my business skills.”

“What about your skills as a wife?” Lucas slipped the question in.

What was going on? Jocelyn wondered uneasily. Why was Lucas’s every sentence suddenly imbued with sexual meaning? They’d worked together for more than six months and their sexual interaction had been virtually nil. Now all of a sudden his every comment was a double entendre.

But then, she’d never claimed to be his wife before. Apparently this was the way he responded to a wife. On the other hand, the way he normally treated her, as a sexless but valued colleague, was the way he responded to a female employee. There was no doubt about it, she decided. Being treated as a wife was a whole lot more fun.

“I’m long-suffering,” she said repressively.

Lucas grinned at her. Really? Tell me more.”

“I’m not supposed to try to force your memory,” Jocelyn said, not wanting to tell too many outright lies.

“Okay.” Lucas suddenly switched into what Jocelyn recognized as his work mode. So we were in Buffalo on business and then what happened?”

“You decided to stop at a restaurant for dinner on our way to the airport. We were almost to the door of the restaurant when you realized you’d left your cell phone in the car. You went back for it. A driver pulled into the space beside you and skidded on the ice. He pinned you between the cars.” Her voice thinned with remembered terror.

To his intense frustration, her recounting of the accident meant nothing to him. She could have been telling him something that had happened to a complete stranger. Nor did he want to keep pushing her for details, because talking about the accident was clearly upsetting her.

Not only that but his pounding head was making rational thought difficult. And the drugs they’d insisted on giving him tended to make the world distinctly fuzzy around the edges.

“I love you.” He tentatively tried out the words and found to his relief that they sounded exactly right. “I love you, Jocelyn Forester. I love you, Mrs. Lucas Forester.” His voice gained strength as he tried out different variants of her name. Whether he could remember her or not, he was sure he loved her. Nothing that felt so right to say could be a lie.

Jocelyn swallowed, feeling suffocated by guilt. When events had propelled her into her impersonation, she hadn’t thought about how Lucas would react to being told he was married to her.

“It’s your turn,” Lucas said watching her intently.

She’d just have to live with her guilt, she told herself. She couldn’t back out now. Lucas needed her. Needed her to give him enough space to heal. It was the only personal thing she would ever be able to do for him, and she had no intention of failing him.

“I…I love you, Lucas,” she blurted out.

“What do I do?” To her intense relief, he changed the subject.

“You are the sole owner of a medium-size company that makes component parts for lots of things. You inherited the company when your father died five years ago and have since doubled it in size,” she answered promptly.

“Do I have any other family?” Lucas asked.

“Your mother has been dead since you were four, and your father remarried not long after. You have a stepmother and a half brother.”

She studied Lucas narrowly, trying to see if the mention of Bill had caused him to remember anything.

He sighed, having no trouble interpreting her look.

Sorry, I don’t remember a thing about either my family or any kind of widget. Do I like doing whatever it is I do?”

“Yes,” Jocelyn said honestly. You were determined to be the biggest and best of your kind.”

Had his concentration on work taken its toll on his marriage? he suddenly wondered. Was that what was causing the odd vibes he kept picking up from her whenever the conversation got personal?

Yet another question he didn’t have an answer for. But this was hardly the time to move any personal problems they might have to center stage. Not when he couldn’t remember them. Far better to leave them buried for the time being, he decided.

“So who’s running the company while I’m lying here?” he asked. “You?”

“Not me.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I’ve been pacing up and down the hall outside while the doctor rearranged the inside of your head to his liking.”

Lucas grimaced. “It feels like he’s still in there.”

Jocelyn eyed him uncertainly. Was he paler now than when she’d arrived? She wasn’t sure. But she was sure that the lines beside his mouth were deeper.

“Do you need something for the pain?”

“No! No,” he moderated his voice as her eyes widened. “I don’t want any more of their drugs.”

Jocelyn shrugged. “It’s your head and your choice. I just want you to get better.”

“If you aren’t minding the store, then who is?” he asked, returning to the subject of his business.

“Richard has agreed to look after things until you’re well.”

An elderly face with a thatch of white hair and a neatly trimmed white beard flashed through his mind, followed by a feeling of intense relief. The doctor hadn’t been lying. He was going to regain his memory. It was all there. It was just a matter of giving his memories time to work their way to the surface.

“I’ve been thinking about where you can recuperate in peace,” she said slowly. It was a problem to which she’d given a great deal of thought. It had to be somewhere where they wouldn’t run into anyone who knew either of them and would know they weren’t married, and it also had to be someplace away from Bill. Because if Bill were to find out that Lucas had lost his memory…

“And did you reach any conclusions?” Lucas asked.

“Yes, your ski lodge seems our best bet.”

He frowned slightly as he tried to pull an image out of his mind and failed.

“Where is it?” he asked

“In Vermont, near Stowe. A great-uncle on your mother’s side of the family gave it to you when you graduated from college,” she added at his blank look.

“Since the doctor is very emphatic about not wanting you to get overtired, I thought we’d just fly directly to Vermont from the hospital. We can buy any clothes we need up there.”

“All right,” Lucas agreed. He didn’t really care where they went as long as she was with him.