Читать книгу Bombs on Aunt Dainty - Judith Kerr - Страница 9

All the way to Cambridge in the train Anna wondered what it would be like. What would they do? What would Max’s friends be like? Would she be expected to talk to them and if so, what on earth would she say? The weather had turned cold again and soon after the train had left London it began to drizzle. Anna sat staring out at the soggy fields and the cattle sheltering under dripping trees and almost wished she hadn’t come. Supposing nobody liked her? And indeed, why should they like her? Nobody else did much, she thought morosely – at least not people of her own age. The girls at Miss Metcalfe’s had not thought much of her. They had never elected her as a prefect, or as dormitory captain, or even as dining-room table monitor. For a brief time there had been talk of making her guinea-pig orderly, but even that had come to nothing. And Max’s friends were boys. How did one talk to boys?

“Not a very nice day,” said a voice, echoing her thoughts. It belonged to a tweedy woman in the seat opposite. Anna agreed that it wasn’t and the woman smiled. She was wearing a hat and expensive, sensible shoes like the mothers at Miss Metcalfe’s on Parents’ Day.

“Going up to Cambridge for the weekend?” said the woman. Anna said, “Yes,” and the woman went at once into a description of the social delights of what she called the “varsity”. Her three brothers had been there years ago, and two of her cousins, and they had all invited her for weekends – a gel could have such fun. Theatre parties! cried the tweedy woman, and May balls, and picnics at Grantchester, and everywhere you went so many, many delightful young men!

Anna’s heart sank farther at this account but she comforted herself with the thought that there could hardly be May balls in March and that Max would surely have warned her if he had planned any grand goings-on.

“And where do you come from, my dear?” asked the tweedy woman, having exhausted her reminiscences.

Normally when people asked her where she came from Anna said, “London,” but this time for some inexplicable reason she found herself saying, “Berlin,” and immediately regretted it.

The woman had stopped in her tracks.

“Berlin?” she cried. “But you’re English!”

“No,” said Anna, feeling like Mama at the Refugee Relief Organisation. “My father is an anti-Nazi German writer. We left Germany in 1933.”

The tweedy woman tried to work it out. “Anti-Nazi,” she said. “That means you’re against Hitler.”

Anna nodded.

“I should never have thought it,” said the tweedy woman. “You haven’t got a trace of an accent. I could have sworn that you were just a nice, ordinary English gel.”

This was a compliment and Anna smiled dutifully, but the woman was suddenly struck by another thought.

“What about the war?” she cried. “You’re in enemy country!”

Damn, thought Anna, why did I ever start this?

She tried to explain as patiently as she could. “We’re against Germany,” she said. “We want the English to win.”

“Against your own country?” said the woman.

“We don’t feel that it is our country any more,” began Anna, but the tweedy woman had become offended with the whole conversation.

“I could have sworn you were English,” she said reproachfully and buried herself in a copy of Country Life.

Anna stared out at the grey landscape rolling past the spattered window. It was ridiculous, but she felt put out. Why couldn’t she just have said she came from London as usual? Max would never have made such a mistake. This whole expedition is going to be a disaster, she thought.

When the train finally drew into the station at Cambridge her worst suspicions seemed to be confirmed. She stood on the platform with an icy wind blowing straight down it, and Max was nowhere to be seen. But then he appeared from behind a corner, breathless and with his gown flying behind him.

“Sorry,” he said. “I had a lecture.” He looked at the scarlet coat which Mrs Bartholomew had lent her. “That’s very dashing,” he said. “Judy’s or Jinny’s?”

“Jinny’s,” said Anna and felt better.

He picked up her case and hustled her out of the station.

“I hope you’ve brought a thick woollen nightie as well,” he said. “Your lodgings are somewhat cool.”

They turned out to have no heating at all – a vast, icy cave of a room – but it was not far from his own and the landlady promised to put a hot-water bottle in her bed at night. While Anna was tidying herself she tried to imagine the tweedy woman spending a night there and decided that her Cambridge weekends must have been very different. Max paid for the room – bed and breakfast cost ten shillings – and then they set off to walk through the town.

By now the rain had stopped, but there were still patches of water everywhere. The sky above the rooftops was wet and grey with shambling clouds which thinned occasionally to shimmer in half-hearted sunlight. They crossed the marketplace, picking their way between shoppers and dripping tarpaulins, and then they were suddenly engulfed by a crowd of undergraduates. The High Street was filled with them. They were splashing through the puddles on their bicycles and pushing along the pavement in noisy groups. There were black gowns everywhere, and long striped scarves, and everyone seemed to be talking, or shouting greetings to friends across the road. Several of them waved to Max, who seemed to be very much at home among them, and Anna thought what fun it must be to belong here.

Every so often, between greetings, he pointed out a landmark through the turmoil – a building, an ancient bit of wall, a cloistered passage where, centuries ago, someone had walked, a seat where someone else had written a poem. The stone of which they were made was the same colour as the sky and looked as though it had been there forever.

In the doorway of a tea-shop Max was accosted by two gowned figures.

“Discovered at last!” cried one. “And with a strange woman!”

“A strange scarlet woman,” said the other, pointing to Anna’s coat.

“Don’t be an idiot,” said Max. “This is my sister, Anna. And these are George and Bill who are having lunch with us.”

Anna remembered hearing about George who had been to school with Max. He was a good foot taller than herself, so that she would have had to throw back her head to see what he looked like. Bill’s face was more within range and looked pleasant and ordinary. They pushed their way through the crowded shop to a table in the corner. As they sat down George’s face sank into view and turned out to be cheerful, with an engaging look of permanent astonishment.

“Are you really his sister?” he asked. “I mean, if you had to be somebody’s sister, surely you could have found someone better than old Max here?”

“With his lecherous ways—”

“And his boots so stout—”

“And his eyes which swivel round about—”

“And the horrible way his ears stick out!” George finished triumphantly.

Anna stared at them in confusion. Had they just made that up? Or was it some kind of English verse that everyone except her knew?

George was leaning towards her.

“Surely, Anna – I trust I may call you Anna – surely you could have found someone more suitable?”

She would have to say something. “I think –” she began, but what did she think? At last she brought out, “I think Max is very nice.” She was blushing as usual.

“Loyal,” said George.

“And comely,” said Bill. “Wouldn’t you say comely, George?”

“Definitely comely,” said George.

They were off again and she found that all that was required of her was to laugh, which was easy. They ate baked beans on toast followed by doughnuts and cups of strong tea. Bill tried to wheedle an extra spoonful of sugar out of the waitress, but she refused.

“Don’t you know that there’s a war on?” she said, and Bill pretended to be amazed and cried, “No one told me – how ghastly!” and made so much noise that she gave him some sugar just to stop him.

“You young gentlemen are so insinuating,” she said, snatching the sugar bowl away and, as an afterthought, “I don’t know what the Government would say.”

The idea of the Government worrying about Bill’s extra teaspoonful of sugar was so remarkable that George, Bill and Max all needed another doughnut to get over it.

Anna watched them admiringly. How witty they were, she thought, and how handsome, and how English – and how strange to see Max virtually indistinguishable from the other two.

“Actually it’s funny,” said George. “That business of ‘Don’t you know that there’s a war on’. It doesn’t really seem as though there were, does it?”

“No,” said Max. “I don’t know what I thought it would be like if there was a war, but you’d imagine something more – well, urgent.”

Bill nodded. “When you think about the last one. All those people being killed.”

There was a pause.

Anna took a deep breath and decided to contribute to the conversation. “When I was small,” she said, “I was always very glad that I was a girl.”

They stared at her. Max frowned slightly. She’d made a mess of it as usual.

“Because of wars,” she explained. “Because girls couldn’t be sent into the trenches.”

“Oh yes, I see,” said George. They seemed to expect something more, so she gabbled on.

“But later my mother told me that there’d never be another war. Only by then I’d got used to the idea – of being glad that I was a girl, I mean. So I suppose it was really a good thing. Because,” she added with a degree of idiocy that astonished even herself, “I am a girl.”

There was silence until, mercifully, Bill laughed.

“And a jolly good thing too!” he said.

Never again, thought Anna. Never again will I say anything to anybody, ever.

But George nodded just as though she had said something sensible. “My mother was the same. She was always telling us that there’d never be another war. She was quite upset when this one happened.” His normal look of astonishment had intensified and some sugar from the doughnut had become stuck round his mouth, so that he looked suddenly very young.

“But I suppose if someone carries on like Hitler in the end there’s nothing you can do but fight him.”

“Fight him to the death!” Bill narrowed his eyes. “My God, Carruthers, there’s a machine-gun nest on that hill!”

George raised his chin. “I’ll go alone, sir.” His voice trembled with emotion. “But if I don’t come back …”

“Yes, yes, Carruthers?”

“Tell them it was – for England.” George stared bravely into the distance. Then he said in his ordinary voice, “Well, I mean, it’s so silly, isn’t it?”

They finished their doughnuts thinking how silly it was. Then Bill said, “I must fly.”

“Literally?” asked Max.

“Literally,” said Bill. He belonged to the University Air Squadron and they practised every Saturday afternoon.

George struggled to extract his long legs from under the table. “Flicks tonight?” he said.

“Sure.” Bill waved in a way that might or might not include herself, thought Anna. “See you then.” And he loped off into the street.

They waited while George wrapped a scarf round his long neck. “Actually,” he said, “I suppose it must feel even funnier to you – the war, I mean.” He looked at Max reflectively. “I always forget that you weren’t born here. It never occurs to anyone, you see,” he explained to Anna. “I’m sure Bill thinks he’s British to the backbone.”

“Sometimes I almost forget myself,” said Max so lightly that only Anna guessed how much it meant to him.

They walked back to the digs which Max and George shared. The landlady had lit a fire in their little sitting room and Max at once sat down by it with a pile of books and papers to write an essay on some aspect of Roman Law. George disappeared with the intention of taking a bath and could be heard in the next room discussing with the landlady the chances of the water becoming hot enough in time for him to profit from it before he had to go out again.

“Max,” said Anna, “I’m sorry – I know I’m not good with people.”

Max looked up from his work. “Nonsense,” he said. “You’re all right.”

“But I say such stupid things. I don’t mean to but I do – because I’m nervous I suppose.”

“Well, so is everyone else. You should have seen George and Bill before you came. They don’t know many girls. I’m the only one who does.”

Anna looked at him admiringly. “The trouble is,” she said, “I’m not like you.” In a burst of confidence she added, “Sometimes I wonder if I really belong in this country.”

“Of course you do!” Max looked shocked. “You belong just as much as I do. The only difference is that you went to a lousy school and it put you off.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I know it,” said Max.

It was an encouraging thought. Max seemed about to go back to his books, so she said quickly, “There’s another thing.”

“What?” said Max.

“Well,” said Anna, “don’t you ever feel that we’re unlucky?”

“Unlucky? You mean about being refugees?”

“No, I mean for the countries we live in.” He looked puzzled, so she said, “Well, look what’s happened to Germany. And in France we’d hardly been there a year before they had a Depression. And as for England – you remember how solid it all seemed when we came, and now there’s a war, and rationing …”

“But that’s not our fault!” cried Max.

Anna shook her head glumly. “Sometimes,” she said, “I feel like the Wandering Jew.”

“You don’t look like the Wandering Jew. He had long whiskers. Anyway, as far as I remember he wasn’t considered to bring bad luck.”

“No,” said Anna. “But I don’t suppose anyone was very pleased to see him.”

Max stared at her for a moment and then burst out laughing. “You’re potty,” he said affectionately. “Absolutely potty. And now I must do some work.”

He went back to his books and Anna watched him. The room was quiet except for the crackling of the fire. How marvellous to live like this, she thought. For a moment she tried to imagine herself at University. Not, of course, that they’d ever give her a scholarship like Max. But anyway, what would she do? Study law like Max, or English like George, or engineering like Bill? No – the only thing she really liked was drawing, and that was no use.

“By the way,” said Max telepathically, “what’s all this you wrote to me about a secretarial college?”

She said, “I’m starting next week.”

He considered it, looking already, she thought, like a lawyer weighing up a tricky question in Court. Finally he said, “Well, I suppose it’s the right thing to do at the moment. But not for good. Not for you. Not in the long run.” Then a thought occurred to him. He leafed impatiently through one of his books, found what he wanted and started again to write.

Anna walked back to her digs, brushed her hair and changed into the only other dress she had. It was her old school dress made of grey corduroy and when she had worn it at Miss Metcalfe’s on Sundays she had thought it hideous. But Mama had found an old lace collar at the bottom of one of the trunks they had brought away from Berlin and with that, now that Anna had lost most of her puppy fat, it looked quite elegant. She returned to find Max putting away his papers and George surveying the high tea which the landlady had spread out in front of the fire. George’s bath had not been a success. Fearing that if he delayed too long he would not be able to have one at all, he had plunged in when the water was barely luke-warm and had sat in it, getting progressively colder, unable to face climbing out into the even colder air of the bathroom. However, at least it had now been dealt with and the problem of washing himself would not arise for another week, he told Anna with satisfaction. “Which prompts me to remark,” he added, “that you look remarkably clean and wholesome. Is that the latest fashion?”

She explained that it was what she had worn at school on Sundays.

“Really?” said George. “How extraordinary. My sister always wears a sort of a brown sack.”

From this they got to talking about George’s sister’s school where they had to curtsey to the headmistress every time they met her and which sounded not much better than Miss Metcalfe’s, and then about schools in general. Perhaps Max was right, thought Anna. Perhaps George was just as nervous of her as she was of him, and with this thought she began to relax a little. She was in the middle of telling him about a remarkable ceremony at Miss Metcalfe’s when a guinea-pig monitor had been stripped of her rank, when it was time to leave for the cinema.

They picked their way through the icy blackout to see a thriller in the company of Bill and a girl with frizzy hair whom Max, to Anna’s surprise, appeared to admire. Her name was Hope and she looked at least three years older than Max, but when he whispered, “Don’t you think she’s attractive?” Anna did not like to say “no”. The film was very bad and the audience, which consisted largely of undergraduates, took a noisy interest in it. There were boos for the villain and ironical cheers for the heroine who was trying to ward him off, and cries of “Come on Clarence!” whenever the lumbering hero appeared in pursuit. In the end the villain threatened to throw the heroine to a poorly looking crocodile which, the audience pointed out, was clearly in need of feeding, and when she was rescued in the nick of time the remaining dialogue was drowned in cries of “Shame!” and “RSPCA!” Anna thought it all wonderfully funny and glowed through the rest of the evening which they spent eating more doughnuts in a café. At last George and Max said goodnight to her at the door of her lodgings and she felt her way through the darkened house to her room and her freezing bed where she clutched her hot-water bottle, thought in wonder about this extraordinary world her brother was part of, and fell asleep. “Well, how do you like Cambridge?” asked Max the next afternoon. They were waiting for her train at the station and she did not in the least want to leave. They had spent part of the day punting on the river – the weather had been warmer – with Max and Hope arguing fitfully in a punt propelled by George, while Anna was in another with Bill. George and Bill had tried to ram each other and in the end Bill had fallen in and had invited them back to sherry in his rooms while he changed his clothes. He lived in a college three hundred years old, and under the mellowing influence of the sherry George and Bill had both urged her to come back to Cambridge soon.

She looked earnestly at Max on the darkening platform. “I think it’s marvellous,” she said. “Absolutely marvellous.”

Max nodded. “I’m glad you’ve seen it.” She could see the happiness in his face in spite of the darkness. Suddenly he grinned. “And there’s another thing,” he said. “Don’t tell Mama, but I think I’m going to get a First.”

Then the train roared in, astonishingly filled with soldiers and sailors. She had to squeeze past a pile of kitbags to get on, and by the time she had managed to pull the window down the train had started. She shouted, “Thank you, Max! Thanks for a marvellous weekend!” But there was a lot of noise and she was not sure whether he heard her. One of the sailors offered her part of his kit-bag and she sat on it all the way back to London. It was a long, weary journey – much slower than on the previous day. The light from the blue-painted bulb in the corridor was too dim to read by and every time the train stopped more soldiers got on, even though there hardly seemed room for them. Liverpool Street too was filled with troops and, as Anna picked her way among them in the patchy half-light of the station, she wondered where they could all be going. Then a newspaper poster caught her eye. It said “Hitler Invades Norway And Denmark!”